A question for Blmoon
Breze1 last edited by
I hope you are doing well.
I have been pondering about a reading you did for me about 6 years ago, which was very impressive. Among else, you told me that you will find blessings in 6 years, which is now. I actually am at a good place in my life right now, and still looking up, but as expression goes it feels "I have what I need, not what I want," and I am fine with this. I have a question about my current relationship to a guy I am dating M. I have been dating him on and off for a year now. I kept running away from him because I was troubled from an ex, C. I wanted C back for a long time. I always was very much attracted to him, and still miss him.
It has been few months that I came to a new realizations about my ex, which I started to be in contact back again, but as friends only. He reached out to me. I have realized that he won't give me a relationship, so my connection to this other guy is getting stronger. I see myself compatible to M and everything is going smooth in our relationship. He is very good to me but I am afraid of settling with him because I do not have the attraction I have for C and I am worried that I am trying to settle with M so to forget about C. On the other hand, I need M because it affects my life very positively. I feel emotionally balanced and I have a great compatibility with him, in sex life too. Even better than with my ex. He wants to even marry me, but I am afraid of it. So I guess my question would be do you see M to be the guy I should settle for or should I give it more time.
Thank you so much for any help on my question.
There is a pattern with both men that you can't see yet. There is a shadow side to you that does know the truth about your pattern with men and that is the root of your fear. Right now you have a man in pursuit of you and a part of you knows that there is a good chance that if you open yourself up to him....fully vulnerable and with commitment that he may pull away. Your x has intimacy issues. There is a deep attraction between you on several levels. He can't give you what you need yet he can't let you go. This is a circle that will continue unless he heals but honestly, I do not see that change anytime soon. He will continue to drift into and out of relationships. He is the mirror for gauging your healing. There will be a day you will look at your x and laugh to yourself and that strong attraction will be gone. You are not quite there yet but you are close if you do some more work on your self. You need to truly see the pattern in all your relationships. All of us have a certain "type" we are attracted to. We can not change our pathology....our childhood influences....our wounds. All we can do is be AWARE of it so then instead of just following the strongest attractions because they MUST be the real deal because why else would it be so compulsive and strong? Awareness gives us a choice. For me......I am attracted to the somewhat broken intimacy shy ones. The only time THEY show up emotionally is when I have kept a safe distance. If I let them catch me they will withdraw. I feel this same energy in you. You want to avoid losing yourself in any relationship. You say you fear this new man who you claim brings positive things to your life does not measure up to the strong attraction to your x but I see it as we don't miss our water till its gone. It is human nature to feel more drawn to what we feel we can't have or lost. This new man really does have spark potential but you are in a safety zone with him. Your healing lesson presented by this situation is the opportunity to balance head and heart. Your x has you a slave to your heart. You need to balance head and heart. He brings out a childhood wound that needs healing. What feelings are brought up dealing with the rejection of an available man? Where in your early years did you experience similar pain? I do not think you should be feeling you owe this new man marriage. You are not ready. Enjoy this relationship. If you choose not to break ties with your x it will just prolong the healing process. Be kind to yourself and make a break from your x. I am getting that you are on a healing path and you will get there. Your x distracts you. This new man and you have similar trust issues and he is more in sync with his own healing so you can work this out. You both will learn to balance your fear of abandonment and loss with your need for space. This new man can grow with you. Your x is not on path to change. You can't move forward by looking into the past. You are not that same woman but when around him he will try and invoke old patterns. Try not to dwell on your future with the new man........just enjoy all he has to offer. It's not all or nothing. Again...Spirit insists that the day you can look at your x and that pull is gone you will know a great healing has finally taken place. BLESSINGS!
Breze1 last edited by
Thank you so very much Blmoon. Once again it felt like you gave eyes to my blindness. I feel so much healed already.
You are amazing.