I came here to look around and saw you are back. I hope all is well with you, I have missed you my friend
HELLO! I thought of you as well. How are you doing? Are your boys driving you crazy yet? That's what grown kids tend to do! Just when we seem to get older and peacefully wiser our know it all kids need help but do they take our advice? I wondered too how things panned out for your x and his girlfriend. Girlfriend doesn't seem the right word but whatever. I remember my predictions...curios if they came true!
Well yeah my kids drive me crazy, but what would I do without them? My mom was tired of seeing me so sad and lonely and about 8 months ago she bought me a baby French bull dog. His name is Bruno and I have never loved anything so much in my life. He is fun and sweet and a brat all at the same time.
Ron is still with her and no one here knows how they are doing, he still doesn't bother much with any of us.
I still hope someday he regrets, just so I will know it wasn't me...
it was never you! You had an open big heart and you loved like love should be. That is valuable. Never blame yourself! I'm so happy you got a sweet little stinker!!!! I ended up putting down three old dogs in one year, first the 13 yr old rat terrier that my deceased son loved so much. I knew one day I would have to give him back but it was so hard! He so loved that dog and took him everywhere! I'm sure it was a wonderful reunion when he passed. Then my 12 yr old Aussie then my 14 yr old fox looking mix....she was my furry soul mate. My house was like a tomb for awhile! I bought a rat terrier named Spanki and I broke my rule of not letting the dog in my bed......he spoons and I love him so much. Then I got him a buddy named zen......he is half Spanki's size but has twice the attitude. And he curls up on his own pillow on my bed. Dogs bring so much love into a house.......they are in my lap whenever I sit. Spanki is a stinker and sounds like Bruno. That makes me happy to hear....your mom did a good thing....and a Frenchie is hard to get...very expensive. You deserve it!
Bruno is a blue frenchie, One day I was feeling sad and mom showed up at my door, she said : come on we are going out" I said " Mom, I am tired and have a lot to do, let me fix you lunch and we will talk", She said "no get in the car and she drove me less then a mile away to a ladies house who had 2 babies on her lawn and said Pick one he's yours. I cried so hard, I knew the moment I saw him he was mine.
I have been wishing for one for years.
OH Nancyeann you were made for love! I have always felt that connection with you. I get my greatest joy when loving........and it does leave us very vulnerable to people who are slack S in the loving department. We end up loving for two people. We will always need a loving friend and a dog! You get great joy from giving like me. I am so happy for you and I do believe he was destined for just you! When reading for you I always felt you had a strong loving Spirit that watches over you. I felt the same about picking out my dog. I was hesitant at first and drove two hours to the breeders just to look even though I had fell in love with his pic. I really didn't look because once I picked him up he just layed into me so snug as if he was waiting on me to come. He never tried to get away the whole time there. When we got home I was overwhelmed with that feeling that he was meant for me! The breeder even mentioned that she was surprised he was not taken yet. Sometimes I tell him the story of how I got him.....silly....but I don't care. I swear he knows what I'm saying!
I have a problem. My sister Pam, who is 6 years older than me and over the years hs helped me through a lot, and at times been my best friend. We used to go to lunch, shop, run off to the casino and just hang out. I used to laugh because she called me so many times a day.
Well in March she started ignoring my calls and avoiding me. I asked her what was wrong and she didn't reply. When I got Bruno she was mad at my mom for buying him, even though my mom gave her a check for $$4000 to keep us even in her eyes, She does that.
I left her a message saying I was sorry for whatever I have done, I love her and miss her please talk to me, no reply.
My mom called right before easter and told me Pam and her kids have plans for the day and would I mind if she came to my house. Of course I said yes and we had a great time, Well Pam got mad she wasn't invited even though the whole reason it was at my house was that she was busy.
In July her granddaughter had a birthday party and Drew and I went and brought Bruno, It was outdoors and my neice wanted to meet him.
When I got there she swore and turned away and treated me really bad all day.
A month later all my friends at work that she never talked to befiore said your sister is moving to Livermore, 40 miles away.
I called her, no reply.
I have tried many times to get through to her begging her to please talk to me, that I would never make her mad on pupose and I love her. Kinda like Ron all over again.
Now Christmas is almost here and my birthday is next week and she wants me to come to her house on Christmas morning like nothing ever happened.
I was happy and went out and bought gifts.
Last week my favorite boss had a family tragedy and I tried to find him on facebook to send him my support.
Pams son is his friend so I clicked on him and saw she had a facebook account, I clicked on hers and saw she is now facebook friends with...drum roll Ron.
The only possible reason for that is to hurt me and I am so done being hurt.
I don't want to upset my mom or the kids, but I don't want to spend the day or the minute with that horrible women.
Interesting you asked because when I replied before.... I got the image of you at the beach lounging with your sister! AND after reading that you said you had not heard anything about Ron's life I thought that was great for you! And it was a Blessing! You are very right to protect yourself. Normally, It would be best to mend fences but in this case it is toxic for you. You have done nothing to deserve her attitude. AND if there was a misunderstanding you gave her plenty of opportunity to clear the air. Good for you that you recognized that feeling...like Ron! You are right on. Love is a two way street and she has to want it and put work in it to nurture a bond. She has not magically changed and if you go to her house for Christmas she will HURT you in some passive digressive way. There are several layers of hidden things going on with her. First YOU changed.....in a healthy way! Often it affects relationships when someone gets better which is cruel but it happens. Your sister got some satisfaction out of you being weaker. Her role has to adjust and she doesn't like it. But she can't face that about herself so she must invent wrongs that do not exist. She needs you to be bad. Talking to Ron is a betrayal if she's letting him talk lies about you. Ron would like everyone to see you not as the neglected abused wife but as a spoiled child who made his life miserable. Of course anyone who really knows you knows the truth. You are a very big hearted loving person and very forgiving. Too forgiving! I think it was more your mom than your sister behind the Christmas invite and if you go be well guarded as I think she will be cruel. If you go there do not expect a change in her but just limit yourself to enjoying other loved ones ....that is the most you can expect. If you don't go and your mom balks you can stand tall and say "I did not create this situation!" I am sick of begging for forgiveness for something I did but no one will tell me what that terrible crime was. Your mom knows and she could tell you but she can't talk sense into your sister and does not want to hurt you. Your mom thinks if you just ignore her cruel attitude that it will pass. I think Ron did some sheet kicking and told her lies about remarks you made about her. She should know better and if she treasured your relationship she would clear any gossip up. And there is another layer of hidden emotions that your sister is going through that have nothing to do with you but kind loving people often become the outlet for others misguided pain in themselves. She is not happy with HERSELF. At some point you have to turn to her after she lashes out and say ..".look I don't know what YOUR problems are right now but I am not your door mat or kicking post and you may not abuse me! I have expressed only love for you and can only work so hard to maintain and cherish our relationship. Obviously you don't. and I really grieve that but you have become toxic to me." My words but you get the jest. You have come too far to go back to feeling responsible for other's bad behavior. I asked Spirit if you should go and what I get is you have a choice and both are right. You can send the gifts and do something nice for yourself. Maybe even volunteer at a food bank serving Christmas meal or spend time baking your favorite treats to donate. Or just be with Bruno all day in a comfy bathrobe. If you choose to go... use that visit to change things right now. Do not be hateful passively like her but instead treat her like she doesn't exist unless she genuinely makes peace. And do not be a mouse....if she is passively cruel under her breath...you out her......use your voice in a firm confident way and say excuse me do you have something to say to me please say it. I do not appreciate you disrespecting me in front of others....it's mean spirited and you are being a bully. Right now she enjoys punishing you......if you do not let her then she will have her big blowup and she will reveal what her real problem is. Spirit is definite on not chasing her love down anymore. You are healed from that. You recognize it now. If she does not miss what you miss there is no making her. I think in your mom's eyes she felt she was the best and enjoyed feeling superior. It's her problem. You no longer keep anyone in your life who feeds the need that you believe you have been bad! You are a good person and deserve to be loved. Her problems are hers not yours....you can choose love....even if it's for yourself. BLESSINGS!
Well you are right in so many ways, she is a very unhappy person and I think part of the reason for throwing me away and moving is her daughter Amanda. The one who has been in and out of jail.
The last time she was in Pam swore she was done and wouldn't let that toxic person back around the kids.She does bad drugs and she steals from everyone.
But of course she not only moved back in butr she took control af everything.
No one likes to be around her and she pushes herself into every thing she can.
She even showed up at my house on Hallowwen with the kids.
I am thinking my bathrobe and Bruno.
I had a bad dream last night. Ron came back and he was sad and angry all the time, he said he was so tired of being broke and would be happy if I refinanced the house and we had lots of money. If we could pay off his debts and get creditors off his back.
Well even in my dream I told him no, go away, I don't want you mooping around only wanting my money, but I woke up intears.
Wow! Your intuition is working well. Your sister is out of sorts now that you have finally escaped your tormentor. The one in your dreams........you liberated yourself from that constant flow of tears and feeling trapped. She's still struggling with her daughter drama. She now thinks you have nothing to complain about and you should be happy. She resents any attention you get. She's too much in her own drama to realize just how hard a challenge you took on to break free and live on your own. How terrifying and painful it was to give up on the family dream. You do deserve peace Goddess Nancy.......you deserve a comfy robe and Bruno ....and cookies! BLESSINGS!