It's been over two years....
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moonalisa last edited by
ANDREW! I hear your cozy connections aren't so good lately. You are smart to come here. The best forum for solving the saddest of problems. I know you are shy Peggy...oh woops! I mean Andrew. Sorry that magnifying instrument takes over sometimes. No shame......go ahead, ask for the help you need. And take your meds. The voices are not real.
BlMoon. :0) Love it. There sure does seem to be some spam around here. Lot worse than when I was active before.
My birthday was yesterday and it was a lonely day. Really made me wish for that romantic relationship and someone to spend time with. Family was busy with their lives or sleeping and I was disappointed that no one asked if I wanted to do anything special. I was upset the night before and drove to the ocean and watched the sunset by myself. I was just what I needed and wanted. Unfortunately, that good feeling didn't carry over to the next day, my birthday, and most of my birthday was not good. It did pick up in the evening and I had time to sort out my resentments and voice them towards the people I resented and get them cleared. So, it wasn't a complete loss.
Increased energy just doesn't sound like me after re-reading what you wrote Captain. I'm so exhausted by the night shift, if I can basic housework done on my weekends it's a miracle. Everything is a struggle energy wise. Night shift has also taken a toll on my body digestion wise so trying to get energy through coffee isn't possible since coffee absolutely tears up my stomach now. Energy drinks are ok but if I try to drink more than one, I feel ill also. Night shift isn't for old people. LOL.
Still trying to move toward the house renovations. I've realized that someone I was depending on just isn't going to be able to help so I'll have to go another route to get things taken care of. I did hire someone to clear out my yard and maintain it so it's great that for summer my yard isn't an overgrown mess.
Anyway, take care everyone. Drop by when you can and update me on your stuff!
AuntBuck, it is not the physical work that is draining you - it is your emotions. You feel unloved and unappreciated. You allow people to take and take from you until you have no more for yourself. All these people letting you down is a pattern - the Universe telling you that you must only rely on yourself to make yourself happy and fulfilled. It is no one else's responsibility. If you are not happy inside, your outside life will reflect that negativity. I am not saying this is in any way easy. It's not. but it's better than suffering in silence - I am sure everyone thinks you are their 'rock' who never feels down. You need to lay the problem squarely where it comes from. You could breeze through work and home renovations if you had the emotional energy. You have to start allowing other people to give to you. If your family is not appreciating you, you should tell them so and not bear it in grim silence. You should have told them you were sad that no one remembered your birthday or treated you special. Most people are not mind-readers or empaths so you have to tell them how you are feeling.