DO WE STAY OR DO WE LEAVE?
Ah, I think it's more like an "aha" moment than a wake up call, but it will sure show you how well you've been doing up to this point, even with the tough time you're going through.
OK, that sounds much better, LOL!
With regard to the house for you, I am getting a message that all is well and not to worry, there are people on the other side who say they are "on it!" Remain confident and faithful. I'm also getting the number 2...so maybe you will hear in 2 weeks. I also feel like the end of April is significant. When is the guy supposed to move out??
I'm sorry I didn't word that bit more kindly lol! I feel you've been blaming yourself for the tough patch you've been going through, but the message I get is that it can't be helped, it's part of your path and this will make you grow and expand in ways you didn't think possible. I think someone will say something to you, that will make you realise your own value and self worth, and deservedness of so much better
Well, the guy is on workers compensation for an injury. He works on a farm not far from here, and has been offered a rent free house in exchange for his work. I did see him yesterday, and he said he's starting to pack this week. He had said - with the extension of time off work due to his injury - that it'd be close to the beginning of winter, so the end of April sounds about right (we're in Australia).
I'm a bit worried about how we'll move the heavy stuff though, as all our friends are too busy working on weekends, so it'll only be me and my partner. SIGH. I ain't as young as I used to be lol!
Thanks Moon-Pie Yes, I have been blaming myself. But mostly because over the past 20 years and all the things that have happened - the common denominator is ME. LOL. So I keep trying to look at it from a perspective of what can I do differently, what have I done that has created it, etc. This last go-round with this particular job has indeed given me a hit to my self-esteem. In the past, regardless of how bad things were, I at least knew I was doing my job well. I took this job a year and a half ago and have been failing miserably no matter what I do.
I will imagine a kindly SHERPA coming your way to help with the moving and heavy lifting :0
Are you sure you are in the right job? I get the feeling that it drains you and that you feel you have to put in over 100% in order to do it well. You are suffering for an organisation that expects way too much of their good workers, and that you fall short because of those expectations. Are they downsizing at all? I also get the feeling that they're trying to weed out the odd employee whose job has become a budgeting problem - or in simpler terms, jobs that, according to their wonderful flow charts, are no longer as necessary as they once were. I also think that this phase is more about you discovering what's more important to YOU, rather than pleasing others and almost sacrificing yourself for the so-called greater good of where you work. Does any of that make sense? In truth, I can see you working an an area that mightn't pay as well, but you'll enjoy it a whole lot more and have more time and energy to do things you actually enjoy outside of work. This job makes you so tired, you don't have a lot of "me" time because you lack energy.
A kindly sherpa huh? I hope so! Although, depending on how the move works out, we should be able to start taking down certain items ahead of moving day which'll help a lot.
I just know I won't be able to help with the heavy stuff much, because I couldn't with the move to here. SIGH. I wish I could just wiggle my nose and it's all done lol!
In the right job? I have asked that question so many times! My current job I took because I thought I was supposed to try something new. It's a sales job and I was in sales prior, but it's a completely different industry...a male dominated chauvinistic industry at that, lol. I have come to the conclusion that I need to go back to hospitality (hotels/resorts). It's what I know, where all my experience lies, and this current job has shown me how much I detest being treated like a newly graduated 20-something without any experience. Bottom line is I just need to feel like I have accomplished something with my time. The past year and a half I have worked to try and build up a new market for this company and I have not been able to do so. This is the first time I have ever failed. I don't like it. It's not so much the failure as the lack of feeling of accomplishment.
Downsizing...well, they just fired someone last Friday. I assume I will be next once they hire someone who can take my place. A new guy started this week. We'll see. In the past I have sacrificed myself for the greater good, yes. But this time, no.
Trouble is I really don't have any hobbies or off-time pleasurable pursuits. So even if I had the extra time, I don't know what i would do with it! I have tried picking up hobbies, but nothing sticks. I really don't have any artistic, creative or musical talents. That being said, I no longer kill myself working myself to exhaustion. I think I would be tired regardless. My life is a bit lackluster - I think that's why I feel so tired.
Anyway, hope this phase comes to an end soon - for both of us!
Umm, you DO have a hobby: THIS lol! Why can't you make some money on the side doing readings for people? Remember that this is also a service people seek out, and need, and that most are willing to pay for. Of course, there are skeptics out there who'll ask why someone doing the service of "God" or Spirit (whatever we call it) would want money for it, but at the end of the day, bills need to be paid by ANYONE providing a service to others, regardless of what it is.
My mentor years ago, said that we should never be ashamed of taking money for the work we do, so long as we aren't over pricing our "product". Some do, sadly, and they give the rest of us a bad name. But my goodness, I paid $150 for an hour's reading (which went over the hour as it turned out) way back in 2001, and paid it without blinking an eye. She was very good, and had done a reading for me a few years prior to that, which ended up accurate in most things she'd said.
So, it's just a thought. And you know, I feel the same: like life is a bit lacklustre lately, and I do have hobbies! Quite a few, but don't feel like doing them. I go for a walk through the day, do what needs to be done, then end the day with dinner and tv. WOW. My partner and I are both sick of his job not starting yet, and me on reduced hours. Still, I've used the time well, indulging in a few of my hobbies, but after Christmas, I seemed to just go BLAH and have been blah ever since.
This is probably the most difficult phase I've been through really, considering not even my hobbies make me feel better. I feel almost depressed in truth, and I'd say you're a bit the same way.
Well, there is that old saying "God hates a vacuum", so maybe we can take comfort that we are both vacuums for now, and that eventually we'll get filled up with something new. Or sucked dry ... nah, don't wanna go there lol!
The question is, are we Dysons, Bosch's or a cheap $50 vac from some cheap dollar shop?? Lol!
Ah dear ... I'm really tired of this too, so take heart my friend: we are both in a similar boat for different reasons!
I still think you're in the wrong job though. I feel like you're working there, waiting for the inevitable with little fight left in you. I also am gettign the message as I type, that actually, this is the best way for you to deal with it: wait. Go with it. You will be guided out from where you are to where you're meant to be. For once, you can't control it either; it's in the hands of the higher ups.
Yeah I know, you like to be in control. So do I. And this phase, especially since moving here nearly a year ago, has shown me that I can't be in control for now, as much as I might fight against it.
So, guess we should both just shut our eyes, think of home and let it happen ...
Ha! I don’t have a problem with people asking for money for readings and often laugh when someone suggests that psychics should not charge for their gift. There are all sorts of gifts that people are born with. Celine Dion was born with a beautiful voice which is a gift - should she not have made a career out of it?
That being said, I wouldn’t feel comfortable charging because it seems as though I usually miss the mark, LOL. Even when I do get it right, the message is more often than not ignored because it’s not what the person wants to hear. The few readings I do, I do because I feel the intuitive “hit” but it’s not exactly something I would call a hobby that brings me a sense of joy!
Yes, there seems to be a general feeling of BLAH with everyone I speak to lately. Hoping “this too will pass” will come to pass soon!!! Because, yes, I do feel a bit depressed as of late. However I also have some hormonal issues going on which would either be the cause or exacerbating things.
For now, just trying to focus on what I want and having faith. The faith part is tough for me
I think you’re a Dyson, lol.
Yknow, I started "practising" out of a small shop where I used to live. If I couldn't get anything for people, I didn't charge. I charged $50 for an hour, and $30 for half an hour way back then. I ended up doing readings two years in a row at the town Festival, and got repeat customers, so that was encouraging! I understand feeling uncomfortable about taking money, and you will always get skeptics who are trying to test you. I had one like that and told her I couldn't get anything for her and didn't charge her. But did she bitch and whinge! If I'd charged her, I could understand it, but ... ? She was a closed book that lady lol!
If you don't feel that "sense of joy" doing readings for $$, then I wouldn't do them. I did enjoy that feeling and often ended up on a high afterwards. But I left the marriage, moved to another house, started a new job and ended up way too busy to be involved in the Festival after that, more's the pity
Yep, keeping faith is a tough call lately. I feel a lack of confidence due to the reduced hours I've experienced at work and feel like a second class citizen because I'm casual and being treated like one lately. Others who work there have told me to go to the big boss about unfair rostering, and I'm thinking I might, although I do believe I've lucked in with another job which'll guarantee me three shifts a week at least.
Aww, thank you, a Dyson huh? I'll take that huge compliment lol! I'll call you a Bosch, because I've got one of them and theyre sht-a* vacuums my friend - better than Dysons!
Ah, yes! The second class citizen feeling/treatment. I have been going through that as well, but for different reasons. Mine is due to an older generation of men in a male-dominated industry who still think women are just supposed to be secretaries - doing their paperwork and keeping them organized. Soooo ready to move on from them!
I have been thinking about my career and the jobs I have had and there seems to be a theme. In my early years, it was about self-esteem and working through my daddy issues with my male bosses. I was able to master only needing my own approval and not that of others. Now in the latter half, it has been a trend of being in toxic/negative environments. I have moved on three times, but each time the environment has been re-created. I think my challenge is to find a way to remain untouched or unaffected by it. To not react or get dragged down into the muck. Maybe if I can master remaining happy in an unhappy place, I will be free of the karma. Difficult to do - especially with my family genetic history of a predisposition toward depression.
Hoping next week will bring about new developments for both of us!
Yes, I can see similar in my own working life. I've had to fight to be appreciated, and have always given 100+% in whatever I've done. And yet, I seem to miss the mark over and over. My father was a very hard worker, and yet, was he ever given due recognition for that? No. And it has happened to me constantly. I haven't figured out yet, what my main issue is with work. Maybe I bark up the wrong tree too ... I dunno.
This full moon seems to be a pretty testing one. My partner and I always fight when it's full moon, and end up sleeping in separate rooms sometimes. I shake my head, cap the bottle of wine, and head off to bed because I can't be bothered with yet another argument.
It's amazing how those karmic lessons follow one around, isn't it? And I'm thinking - like you - that I need to be able to not be affected by others either in the workplace or in my personal life. At the tender age of 54 I still haven't quite mastered that yet, but it sounds like you're getting there.
I also have a sense of being "responsible". I'm tired of that! Do you feel like that sometimes? Like, for some reason, you're responsible for the angst of others? Ugggghhh ... I'm slowly getting rid of that thorn, but that's also been a very hard thing to do.
These things and the struggle for money have plagued me all my life.
Here's hoping this heavy energy racks off soon, because between you and me, I'm worn out from it lol!
This full moon has been very testing - yikes. Hoping this energy is now passing because it's been a doozy. Like you, I am worn out!
I don't think I have the "responsible for others" thing, although in the past I always took on way too much at work. I believe it was part of my self-worth issues and wanting praise from others in order to feel good about myself. I don't do that now! In fact, one of the reasons I am having trouble at my current job is because I have drawn boundaries and refuse to not only take on others' responsibilities, but also refuse to take the blame for others who have not pulled their weight. It's funny. You would think that now that I finally have learnt that lesson that I would receive some sort of blessing or gift from Spirit, but instead I have become a little, let's say "persecuted" by my current employer. Ha!
I read your other post about your partner's job. I got the number 1. 1 day, 1 week, 1 month, I cannot say
It is a bit of an irony that we take on so much (in my case too, in order to receive praise or that people thought well of me) then suddenly say "no more" and only do what is our job and not carry the mistakes or slackness of others anymore and yet, we get shafted! It truly amazes me, because I'm not prepared to overwork myself anymore to make up for the lack of others. I'm now looking at things and saying "it's not my problem" and only doing what I'm meant to do. Frankly, I've never been thanked for giving 100+%, and now it appears I'm not being thanked for doing slightly lower than 100% lol!
Karma indeed ... BAH
Well, I'd say my partner has killed his chances for this job because due to her rudeness in not getting in touch with him or responding to messages, he has nicely told her not to worry about it. I don't blame him, but boy, we're really struggling without him bringing in some extra $$!!!
Guess we'll see if this idiot gets around to letting him know at least something, and it's back to the drawing board ...
One other thing that just sprung to mind here, is that people - either in the workplace or elsewhere - always look for a scapegoat other than those who are truly to blame. It appears that people like yourself and myself stand out like the proverbial dog's nuts, and so we seem to cop it. We no longer want to be scapegoats or fallguys now, do we?
I don't know why I had to add that, but just did lol!
znl last edited by
Watergirl from your post
"n fact, one of the reasons I am having trouble at my current job is because I have drawn boundaries and refuse to not only take on others' responsibilities, but also refuse to take the blame for others who have not pulled their weight. It's funny. You would think that now that I finally have learnt that lesson that I would receive some sort of blessing or gift from Spirit, but instead I have become a little, let's say "persecuted" by my current employer. Ha!"
and Moonie from your post
"people - either in the workplace or elsewhere - always look for a scapegoat other than those who are truly to blame. It appears that people like yourself and myself stand out like the proverbial dog's nuts, and so we seem to cop it."
SMH. Please add me to the list for having the same issues. A lesson or what is it that I cannot get away from. The other day, I said to myself "it is all my own fault" for not being able to navigate the situations/problems "same things you guys described" without getting into trouble. One would think I learned the lesson and or will not land in the same spot every time.
Hmmm, it's interesting isn't it? It's almost like we're supposed to remain fallguys or something lol!
Anyway, back to what this thread was about: yesterday I found a place which is interstate where the rents have dropped in price due to varying reasons I won't go into, but it is coastal and that's where we'd ultimately like to be.
So, I'm wondering if anyone can see what will happen. We are considering it very seriously, even though it'd mean a lot of expense moving, and we'd have to sell our aviary and birds because they wouldn't travel well that distance, which is very sad.
We've both been looking at houses for rent there, and they're so cheap compared to here, with everything we want including beaches and rivers close by
znl, hang in there, hopefully we will all eventually create different ,more loving and supportive surroundings for ourselves
Moon-Pie, I'm afraid every time I try to tune in I get messages about pulling oneself out of the dumps as I am in a bit of a depression. HOWEVER, I think there was something about remaining hopeful, but remaining grounded and moving forward cautiously. So take it one step at a time, do your due diligence in researching your options, etc. and keep your eye on the ultimate prize
You know, a thought just came to mind here, and it's this (and this is for znl as well as you LadyLusciousLiquid)
If we, as past fallguys, are no longer keen to be that and try to break out of the mould that OTHERS have put us in, then of course we're going to stir up wasps nests and get into trouble. I say this, because it's only those who have ever tried to rise out of that sheep mentality that keeps people under the thumb, who end up in the firing line, and ultimately seem to get nowhere in life. But it's fair to say that those pioneers - yes, I mean us - actually ARE getting somewhere: we are not prepared to stay on that treadmill doing what everyone else does. Apathy is a killer of conscience, emotion, and energy. Aren't we trying to change that for ourselves? And I'm not talking about rebelling against the norm just to be different either.
Having said that, I can honestly say that I am exhausted by the constant fight to not stay in the mould unless it's where I want to be. Guess it might be time for us to let go and let God, as I've wisely said to a couple of others on here lately, coz God damnit I'M TIRED.
These are my thoughts this fine day.
watergirl, I don't think it's just you who's depressed. I know I am too. I also know that making major decisions when one is depressed is never a good thing. I don't want to make a major life mistake because of depressive impulsiveness.
The trouble is my partner absolutely LOVES fishing and will move anywhere that's affordable, where the fishing's good, so he's all for it. I on the other hand, after my initial excitement at finding this location, am now thinking of all that's involved in moving, especially across states and how far I'll be away from everyone. Then again, it's been such a tough slog here financially, as well as socially, that it's ended up being me and my partner and no-one much else in our lives because we can't afford to do anything outside of rent, bills and food.
THEN I'm reminded of that beautiful sound of the ocean as you drift off to sleep ... the sight and smell of salt water, and that wonderful "holiday'" atmosphere that seems to exist anywhere that's coastal.
Over to you guys!
znl last edited by
Dear Watergirl, thank you. I hope so.
Today I'm praying for a miracle. Life keeps dealing out one thing after another and I'm getting a bit bruised by it.
I think my relationship is in trouble, as well as the financial difficulties we're experiencing. I keep getting the message that I need to go home - wherever "home" is supposed to be!
I feel like giving up; I just want to curl up and not bother anymore.
I wish I knew what exactly I did wrong that has resulted in so much stress, sorrow and slog.
So guys, let's hope we all come out of this phase with our emotions intact and a big smile on our faces and a smile that's felt on the inside.