Been a while since posting on here, but between re-settling chaos, etc., it's been a bit challenging.
My question is this:
Since moving here, things with my partner's job situation have gone from bad to worse. Every job he applies for, he misses out on. I've also had issues with my work situation whereby I was getting a good amount of hours, then after the instating of a permanent part time position, I've missed out on most of those hours. I've talked to my boss about this and he tells me it should settle "next roster" but the "next" roster comes out and I'm still picking up the dregs.
Life has been a very big struggle over the last few months, and my partner and I are losing hope here. We're also thinking of moving back to where we came from because we can't seem to get anywhere here, at least financially.
Can anyone see what's in store for us? I'm at the end of my tether frankly, and wish we'd never moved here. I also can't see the light at the end of the tunnel anymore.
Thanks in advance, hope you have all been well
Hi Moon, good to hear from you! I'm sorry life is hard for you at the moment. I am wondering though if you really love the work you are doing? If it is just to pay the bills, then your lack of love for it could be bringing roadblocks into your life. If you didn't have to worry about the money, what would you be doing?
Also, I have recently learned that you don't attract what you want if you don't believe you really deserve it or that you have a right to love, luck and abundance. Examine your deepest feelings about these things. Do you really feel worthy of having them in your life? Or do you get a sinking feeling of self-doubt in the pit of your stomach when you imagine yourself with a great job or pots of money? You must believe you are worthy of all that life has to offer you. You must believe that you have as much right to good luck as anyone else on this planet. There is an unlimited amount of love and prosperity to go around, so no one is missing out if you ask for your share. You may have picked up some bad beliefs about love, luck and money from your family when you were young, that might need to be released now as just plain wrong. Beliefs are not necessarily truths. Were you raised to believe that life and love were a constant struggle and that only other people got rich or lucky? Did your religion teach you that only the poor and those who suffer get into Heaven? Were you made to feel unworthy or greedy if you asked for good things to happen to you? There is likely a negative inner voice (not yours) that is whispering to you - as much as your conscious mind is asking for abundance and happiness - that you haven't earned it or don't deserve it. Remove the negative messages and your situation will change for the better. But you really have to believe that you are worthy of all the bounty that life has waiting for you!
Hi Captain! Long time no "see" lol.
Thanks for your response. I had thought I'd got rid of sub-conscious negative beliefs, but can see that I have not, at least yet. I went to visit my parents on the weekend and it reminded me how we were brought up to believe we had to suffer, struggle and work for nix or nothing otherwise we weren't "good" people. My parents still believe that, even now they're 81 and 88 years old. Their house is worth a small fortune, but they won't sell it and try to go anywhere they'd be happy living because they think they're too old. I can understand that, but they're not happy where they are, and haven't been for a very long time. I'd like to see them do something that lets them reap the benefits of what that house is worth, but I can see it being a case of death dictating that, and my sister and I get the benefit of the house's worth. You can lead a horse to water ...
I do initially get that feeling in the pit of my stomach when I visualise myself and my partner being prosperous, doing what we both want to do and living where we want to, which would be near the coast. I try to bat that away though, because I'm seeing it's not fair that I should believe that I'm not worthy of being prosperous and happy. As an aside, I always feel depressed when I'm around my family, and that depressed feeling lingered when I left on Sunday. They've always had that effect on me.
If I didn't have the worry of money, I think I'd still do this job, but only a couple of days a week because I'm tired of being responsible for others in my line of work (health). The rest of the time, well, I've developed a very strong interest in renovation. I'd love to be able to buy my own house (something I never cared about until now) and fix it up, then help others do the same. That's what I'd be doing: paintbrush or drill in hand, turning a rough diamond into an absolute treasure. I also love gardening and would love to be able to landscape as well.
How's things been in your neck of the woods? Hope you're enjoying life! It's funny, because I don't get the feeling we'll stay in the house we're in past the expiration of the lease (April). I wonder where we're going after this ...
Thanks again Cap'n! I very much related to your comments and appreciate them
Other than my sister has gotten involved with a fraudster who will rip her off for her home, I have a great life.
Moon, you deserve all the abundance and money that life wants to give you. Can you identify what that sinking feeling is exactly in your tummy at the thought of having money? Is it fear or doubt or guilt or what do you think? 'Cause it probably comes from your parents by the sound of it, not from you. You can give it back, you know, metaphysically.
It's fear. Plain, unadulterated fear that I'll blow it. And yet, when I visualise a large amount of money coming my way, I plan to invest a portion of it, after I've paid off my debts, and keep some to enjoy. That sinking feeling does come from my parents, and even from my ex husband who was a tight-wad, but then would spend "his" money (not OURS) on high end furniture and/or holidays. My partner also has some issues of frustration because in years past he owned two houses, earned a very large amount a week, and now he's been on a disability pension for four years. Although I think the problem of negativity is me in this respect, not him. Also, we are both very bad at blowing money when we get it, although we do pay what needs paying first
Your sister's "fraudster" will come unstuck before he can sap her of too much. He will touch a raw nerve with her and she'll get the claws out, so to speak lol!
Give it back metaphysically hmmm? Sounds interesting ...
:we are both very bad at blowing money when we get it, although we do pay what needs paying first :)"
You know, MoonieSpoonie, you don't have to feel guilty about splurging on yourself from time to time. Money doesn't always have to be spent practically - you are allowed to have some fun with it to - otherwise what's the point of being alive? Can you allow yourself to loosen your purse strings for your own needs occasionally? i think that penny-pinching attitude may come from the past, not from you.
Yep, I can accept that. I guess I got so used to having every single bill covered, etc., and now we're robbing peter to pay paul. It's got to the point where I'm undergoing bankruptcy proceedings atm, because I can't pay the debts hanging over my head anymore. Me and credit DON'T mix, and it's taken all this time for me to realise that ... well, I always realised that, but it's finally sunk in lol!
While Dwain and me get a bit down in the dumps and fight sometimes, we know that what we have is worth fighting for and overcoming this rotten phase, for want of a better word.
Moonie-Spoonie?? I LIKE IT lol!
You really don't seem to feel you deserve prosperity. It's not wrong or corrupting to be rich - or more worthy to be poor. It won't change the essential 'you', Moonie-Spoonie. It will just ease your mind when you don't have to worry about paying the bills. Life doesn't have to be a struggle!
As I'm seeing now, it's actually more "corrupting" to be struggling; it makes people angry, hopeless and then tempted to break laws. It's been a very eye-opening experience and one I will NEVER repeat in my life again. It also makes people selfish. That is a state I totally abhor, and I've been going through all of this for the last few months.
After seeing my parents on the weekend, it was brought home to me how a life of suffering stops you from enjoying the very basic things in life. Happiness is something that doesn't exist in my family, which is why I escaped when I could.
The beliefs drummed into a person through childhood really stick around, even though you might not be conscious of it.
I had great feelings of optimism leading up to, and just after, Christmas, and for some reason they've disappeared (probably when I saw the February work roster lol). How do I get them back? That is my dilemma.
I think achieving things makes everyone feel good about themselves. Maybe you have lost your sense of getting somewhere. Why not try achieving one small victory, reaching one small goal in your life today? That may give you the kick start you need to try bigger and bigger things.
I always try to achieve something every day, even when I feel like lying down and giving up. I feel a bit down in the dumps because I was such an active little chook in my last job, and now I seem to be slowing down a whole lot which is a very weird state for me! Might not be a bad thing I guess, but gee it's strange to not be running everywhere
There are two eclipses this month which are stirring up everyone's emotions. We are all slowing down as we get older too - I swear I can hear my bones creaking sometimes.
I think March might hold a couple of very big surprises for you, though, Moonie girl. I feel money flowing in!
Yep, I confess to being in pain for a long time, probably the better part of three years, which is why my last job was weighing heavily on me (on my feet every shift for 8 1/2 hours). I've taken supplements, done hydrotherapy, and still the pain persists. So it's interesting to hear about these eclipses, although I don't know about three years hahaha.
Bones creaking ... lol! That made me smile But yeah, I keep forgetting I'll be 55 in July. Not 35, FIFTY FIVE. I don't want to think about hitting 60 ...
Well, it's weird you should say that about March, because I've felt that optimism coming back in the last couple of days. Even my partner who has been on a very big roller coaster of depression and suicidal thoughts seems to have settled down a fair bit and isn't as "dark" as he sometimes has been. In fact, he's turned into a bit of a giggle-puss which has been causing great ripples of laughter from me!
Thanks again for your thoughts
Moonie, what I pick up from you is that you often feel like you're not in charge of your life, that fate more than anything is pushing you to and fro like you are a plastic bag being tossed around by the wind. But if that is your perception, it's not how I (or likely others) see you. You have struggled so hard, moved around, changed partners and jobs, cared for people and animals - this is a strong woman of courage and determination. You ARE in charge of your life - you can create it how you want. You just have to believe it and believe you have the power to make the changes you want, rather than feeling like a victim of random fate. The choices and decisions you make will bring about change. Do you fear making bad choices? Sadly, we all often put off doing the very things we know will make us feel happier, healthier, and more balanced. We fall into a sort of uncomfortable comfort zone where we are backed against a wall but are not quite squeezed out of breath enough to do something different. You have to have confidence in your own ability, wisdom, courage, and strength to survive - even if you make a mistake. Yes, you have to make decisions, even if you fail the first, second or even third times. But each time, you will learn which methods work for you and which don't, until success becomes inevitable and obvious. Trust yourself to be strong enough to handle whatever comes to you, even good things like big money.
I think I feel that I swing between making choices, driving my own life, to feeling like powerlessness overtakes when things get tough.
Yes, I do fear making bad choices, although I have a real problem with stagnating in life, which is the thing that drives me to make changes when I feel that happening.
To be honest, the onset of menopause around three years ago caused me, physically, to become run down, and as said before, to suffer a lot of pain I had not experienced, at least not as often. I started to feel OLD and washed up.
I'm on the other side of that now, but arthritis and various back issues are weighing me down some.
Still and all, I'm doing okay for someone in their mid-50's I think!
Lack of confidence is the killer isn't it? It's the thing that can stop a person from making a choice or change. Weirdly, I think I've got used to "tough calls" and tough times, and the thought of things actually turning around to be GREAT instead of okay will be a concept I'll find strange, but need to embrace. I don't want to be like my parents, living out a life of mediocre in a location they're not happy in and never really have been.
I will also mention that we are the proud owners of six cats now, with a possibility of a 7th and maybe an 8th if these two little ferals keep visiting lol! We don't know what to do, because we can't really absorb EIGHT cats. Six is pushing it, but we're both suckers for the little lost souls who need feeding and nurturing. It's hard to rehome kittens in this area too, because there's so many of them. I guess fate will have to decide what happens to these two little ones, but I can see us softening and feeding them and next thing there'll be us and six cats on the bed rather than four (the other two sleep outside) and the little pooch who finds a space somewhere too. Oh dear, it gets cramped lol!
Now it's funny that you mentioned earlier you saw money flowing in from March. Well, my partner just landed a part time job yesterday, and I just got a call from a place I'd applied to ages ago about an interview next week. Goodness! It's all happening ...
We have decided not to return to our old stomping ground after all. I feel there's things here that will be very rewarding in the long run. And here we go again: I'd made that choice yesterday, and now here's an interview for a second job which I sorely need here if my current job can't keep me in enough hours.
Thanks so much for your encouragement and positive thoughts. It really has brought some light into what had become a rather dark spot for me.
Boy I'm tired ... might go have a nanny nap lol!
Bless you Cap'n! Have a wondrous day xoxoxox
You go, girl! And never think you are too old for a new life.
I confess to feeling a bit old and washed up lately. And so darn lazy! This is not like me at all, but I'm going with it. I'm noticing my back doesn't hurt as much and yet I know I need to move in order to keep it that way.
But, ya know, I'll just go with this lazy period and see what comes out of it. Usually I fight tiredness and try to do things which ends up with me taking anti inflammatories and that's getting a bit old!
I think from next week I'll feel a bit brighter and more energetic. Just not this week lol!
Thanks again Captain! MWAH xoxoxoxo
Wait for the eclipses to pass - March will be a great month for you and all the rest of us!
I'll be greatly looking forward to it!