You know, BlMoon, I feel the same way as your friend. I worry about hurting people's feelings, not being approved by others, having my choices critiqued, etc.... I have let those things run my life for too long. I had to acknowledgement that last night. Not letting people know that I am back put me in a trick bag. I was called and asked if I could allow a young woman with a couple children stay in my apartment because she is escaping an abusive husband. I had to say no for obvious reasons, but I started feeling guilty about it and then had to think, " what the crap am I feeling guilty about??? There's a lot of people who could help her. If I can, I will. But you see my point. There's a lot of things that people up here want me to be involved in, it would take most of July m free time. I was busy doing a lot for others, and I didn't mind, but I didn't have time to do stuff for me. That's why I am incognito for now. I want to concentrate on getting my life wrapped up here. I'm known as "the Baby Whisperer" up here, most things that folks want me to do deal with talking care of kids. I love kids, but I don't want to do anything now. Just move. It's just ridiculous! I feel like bolting, but I have to get my car repaired First. Ugh!!!
I ready to be reborn, start over, reboot.
I hope you are having a really great day. Still have personal and familial issues, but personal is taking time. Tell me about what you are doing now.
Have a REALLY, Really wonderful day. I value your friendship and the insightful words you give me. Have a great rest of the day!! ️
Here's hoping you are doing well and enjoying your job. I'm jealous! You are still in warm weather and we are freezing our bums off. Already had first frost a couple days ago. I've been thinking of you a lot and thought I'd communicate.
I'm still planning to move. I'm wanting to get out before the snows. Unfortunately, my brother tore his rotator cuff. Now he needs surgery, so his coming to help me out isn't happening. I'm thinking about just putting my stuff in storage here and bailing out, and come get it when I find a place down there. I've been laying low for the last few weeks, but I have been outed, so it is time to surface. The kids want to go back down south. They love being around grandma and family. I haven't gotten as much done as I want to. I want to move, but the sheer size of the move is overwhelming. I'm ready to start giving away stuff just to lighten the load.
I have been thinking about the idea of doing music classes for small kids. I went with my friend K to a class with her and her two youngest kids. It was really nice, and it was only half an hour. I could Totally do that!! So I'm thinking about it as a possibility down south. I just need to get out of this funk I'm in and get started moving
Something is weighing me down. I have a feeling of something impending, and it feels bad. I can't put my finger on it. But I feel I need to get back to NOLA soon.
I hope you are happy and healthy. Have a really Blessed and lovely day. Love you!!
Was thinking of you! I wouldn't mind some of that cold weather! We have had relentless record breaking heat all year! Today was first day under 90 and a nice breeze. I think you should use this time to work on a letter of intent for a music job. An application never stands out on it's own but a well written intent letter abdicating for your qualifications always stands out. I know you can be very humble but to get the job you deserve you must abdicate for yourself as if you were a good mother to yourself. Don't shine then pull back with a bit of humbleness....not now......for this you must OWN IT. State how and why you are capable of teaching and inspiring students to learn. State how the challenge of raising two special needs children has given you the patience and skills to inspire the best from students. Be sure to put in all your experiences with children no matter how long ago or how short the time. When hiring teachers the biggest concern is can that teacher have the kind but firm patience to not be a problem. As you know, their are bad teachers and it causes liabilities. Also, do not mention your head injury to anyone. I was careful about that. I have never blacked out or had a seizure so I'm safe but still some people worry when you mention head injury.I really think music is your bliss and this little bit of stall in your life is a good time to plant that seed! BLESSINGS!
@blmoon sounds like a plan. I didn't really want to teach, I actually want to be a performer. But that doesn't seem to be working. But since I have a rapport with small children, I might as well take advantage of that. Music appreciation classes could work.
I've been working on manifesting and using white light to clear the house when I feel someone or something negative. I have been working on doing healing from a distance with my mom. I'm feeling as if I have power that I have never imagined.
I'm noticing some real changes within. Interesting....
You never said whether you got any damage from hurricane Michael.
We got wind and rain from the remnants of hurricane Florence.
Ready or not, moving down south. My intent is to make this a successful move forme. Maybe I will work on my love life once I get settled.
Tell me what's happening with your fairy garden. I'm debating whether to leave my fairy garden, or take it.
I do still have head and back issues, but it's manageable. No blackouts or seizures, but I still get migraines and that off balanced feeling sometimes, otherwise okay. How's your symptoms?
Have a wonderful day!! Hugs to you!
Hoping all is well with you! I'm in a really stagnant period. I'm not making the progress I need. My brother tore his rotator cuff, so I have to figure out plan b. Perhaps I can get some friends to help...
I've set a date for the 20th of Nov to be out. I do have a wiggle room of a day or two, but I have a goal to be out and on my way south. I'm seriously considering getting rid of some of my furniture. I'm giving away my coffee mug collection. I think I may give some of the furniture to the young woman with two children that left an abusive marriage with nothing but her two kids. It'll make me happy, and perhaps her too.
I feel detached from here now. Though I've been here over 20 yrs, I've mentally disconnected from this place. I think the change will help me put to rest the remnants of the issues I'm still dealing with from Michael. I still have to drive past the place where he died quite frequently. The energy there drags me down. Then there's the places we lived, the cemetery where we sneaked in at night and buried Lauren's twin, etc.... I need to get out.
Lauren keeps badgering me to go back. She feels it too. I am believing that this is best for me.
Tell me what is going on with you. I know you still have warm weather while we have already had our first frost a week ago
Love and Blessings from me to you!!
@blmoon hi to you!!
It's been a while. I'm still in PA. Looks as of my delay will keep me here until the New Year, dealing with my children's issues. I don't want to put too much on site, but the move is still on, just delayed departure date. I hope you are enjoying your new job. How's the weather treating you? I know you all are slated to get some cold days, but I would gladly trade you some snow for a warm day today. I will have to travel to FL to check on my dad sometime in the near future. We should have lunch together or something. I know you have recovered a lot from your accident, but, like me, I know you aren't the same.
There's a reason why my move is being delayed. The move is necessary, but there's something else playing behind the scenes. I'm just going to wait and see what it is.
It will give me a little time to finish wrapping up stuff here, and have money to move.
I've been rather ambivalent about the move, but I feel as if the new year will bring a new start.
Anyway, I'm hoping you had a great Thanksgiving and are looking forward to the holidays.
You have a really wonderful day!! Be blessed!!
I was so thinking of you! Yes we finally got a cold spell but it is about to go back into the 80's. I bought winter flowers for the garden the last cool spell then a week later we got a hot spell and my blooms fainted! So I have to get them in pots before I lose them all. As you know in Florida the winter is are best garden time and we get to enjoy more delicate flowers. Summer the garden just struggles to survive! I do hope one day we can meet up and I'm kind of leaving that up to the Angels! I'm sorry that you are dealing with "interruptions" and the great momentum you had going. This is just part of the very reason you must have a better support system as your children get older. It's not enough to just survive pushing yourself uphill. But you know that. I get that church is important for you but finding the right church is part of the challenge. You need a network of help already established somewhere that offers caregivers and disabled help. You really have suffered a disability. For the first time I really feel this brain injury thing has made a positive turn after four and a half years. I actually can do physical hard work! But not everyday and I still have to have necessary rest when needed and stress is still a problem. It does matter. Your injury was much worse than mine and I know you could have made better progress if you did not have the stress of caring for your children. For me it's taking care of my "SPECIAL NEEDS" husband. He is not doing well so I have to limit my battles with him. I'm sure your children present you with that same kind of insanity. It's very isolating butting heads with "special needs". . You try to fit into the normal world but the truth is your world is not normal and others often don't get it. You must find your others! Just to keep your sanity. Unfortunately, the government systems or school systems are not always "your friends" they are underpaid, underfunded and often dysfunctional and can cause more stress! I can imagine you don't know who to trust sometimes. But I really feel there is help for you! It's OK to rest. Keep music and meditation and prayer in your daily life as you must get self care. I am getting that December has never really been the best month for you. Just get by and believe in the change ahead. You needed that first energy push to get your focus on change but trust the delay. Visualize the Angels surrounding you with healing energy. Meditation is important right now more than ever. This rest is meant to prepare you for the next busy time. You are in my prayers Sunshine! You deserve the help you need and you are loved! Hugs!
@blmoon I must admit, I envy you all the nice weather, while we have snow on the ground. It's pretty cold. I'm really feeling like going back south. I have a friend, Karri, she has been quite the motivator in getting me started packing. She's heartbroken that I'm leaving she feels that she has few friends, but whenever she finds a good one, they move, or she moves, and loses touch. Some people in our church are not the ideal Mormons, and they play the part for each other in the "club", but for others, like me and Karri, we see different people than the club sees. I was back up here almost two months before I felt like going back to church. The truth is, it's not the church as much as some of the people in it. But I feel I have grown beyond them anyway. Not being arrogant, but just looking at some of their pettiness and two-faced behaviors as if I am looking at small toddles just learning to get along.
I know that there is some reason I can't leave now, I am trusting that it is for my own good. I'm not totally ready anyhow. My head is in it, but my heart isn't....yet.
I have been in touch with an ex down there. Peter. He seems happy that I am returning home. He wants to rekindle the relationship that really never got to be a relationship.
As for me.....trying to keep focus where it belongs.
Something is off with me however. My music is off, stuff seems off to me. Meditating..... haven't been making time perhaps I need to quit babysitting and keep focus on where I need to go. She pays me nicely for it, but I'm distracted.
We are both in the same boat, trying to heal.ourselves while dealing with others who need us. You're the only one that can really understand and "get" where I am, as I can you. You took the words out of my mouth, isolation. Logan's anxieties have pretty much isolated us all. We don't socialize with friends much because it's an ordeal for us and them. He's isolating us in one way and Lauren is doing it in another way. Does the word, "trapped" ring a bell?
Sometimes I wish Michael were still here, but more helpful and loving then he was then.
We just have to keep.plugging along, Blmoon, our paths have something for us along the way. Growth, opportunities, who knows??? Maybe we'll find a pot of gold at the end of The rainbow ️
Be blessed and happy.
p.s. is the spirit next door still visiting you?? I still have visitors, but they're not trying to be too obvious. I wonder what Alan will do when we leave?
OH how connected of you to ask! I hate giving that un-neighborly creeper from next door a minute of my thoughts but YES I did just today bitch out loud he has to go and almost wanted to go over there and say something. She knows he's there and does all the pre-cautions to keep him still but he is stubborn. At least she put life back into that house and it looks healthy and not the eyesoar it was. I've lived here over 25 years but in the past he stayed there mostly while renters came and went or it sat empty. The longest lasting renters were both times single alcoholic men. This family is a very positive family. But since she fights back he does come here more often! I think about moving but the reality is I'm a medium. Where can I really go to avoid Spirits. This one is very annoying and as an earth bound he MUST gather energy to move about so he feeds on high emotions or even dark emotions. Anyway, how intuitive of you to pick that up. You know, you have the same problem! As for Peter, I think you should make him crazy. Tease him till he crys. Don't let your heart ever go soft for him. Let him treat you like the Goddess you are!
I had to laugh!! We seem to have many of the same issues!! Yes, you have made me wonder if I get to leave these creeps behind when I move!!! I am sure Alan is staying behind, he seems to haunt this place. My mother has one in her house that I got rid of while I was there, but I'm going to have to do it again. We have to stay there with them until I find my own. I am looking for my own place. I'm definitely interested in making sure I don't take on any more hangers-on in my new place. I just know that this one loves jerking your chain a lot!! I bet he was probably an alcoholic himself when he was alive, and that's why the only renters he tolerated were other alcoholics. It brings to mind the tantalizing question of why the loved ones of these earthbounds can't help them to move on. There's got to be a way to move them along!! At least the house isn't an eyesore anymore.
Haha! You ARE right!! Being a medium means you can't escape spirits! I believe that Logan and I have something similar, that's why they hang around us. I need to find a way to "sour the milk" so they can move on. I have wind chimes downstairs that I ring ever so often, but I guess I need upstairs stuff as well. MIL still pops in occasionally to check on her stuff. I can tell when she's in the laundry room, because the high wattage bulb I have in there gets dim. When I get south, Kristen is getting this stuff. I'm not holding it any longer. I asked Michael to soften her up to make sure she comes to get it.
Hahaha! As for Peter, he wants something that he doesn't have to work too hard for. I'm not about that. He's a kind person but he's going to have to put some work into this!!! He's going to have to work hard to deserve me, not give me pretty words. Besides, Michael will probably run him off if he's not doing right. Michael is still protecting his babies. Though Lauren will be 18 next month, not quite a baby anymore. Logan is now 13, and looking more like Michael. I hope I can get Lauren's issues handled soon.
Anyway, keep talking care of yourself. Don't leave your house, the next door entity needs to move on.
Hugs and love to you! Enjoy the holidays!!