To believe or not to believe, that is the (cancer) question

  • After reading many stories about cancer men in particular, but men of all signs, I decided that I would no longer allow myself to be confused anymore, we agreed to "just be friends". Scince he has called every day, not even a hint of distance in his eyes,voice,no where. he has turned back into the person who I use to be friends with. Don't get me wrong he still gives me the meaningful glances, tells me he loves me,wants, needs me, that he is lucky to have me in his life, I told him in our "just be friends" talk that I no longer feel safe with my heart in his hands, so I have to take it back. Scince I have made these changes I have never felt so good about me and our relationship.

    I posted this a few months ago, things have been going so good with my cancer, we've not made love sicnce february, we've been spending time and hanging out, I feel so close to him, we are meeting on sunday, I want to feel and touch him but am worried that everything i've gained will be lost if.......... I need advice badly

  • whats your moon?

  • capricorn, taurus venus, cancer mars, scorpio rising

  • mine too.... my venuse is aries i believe. my rising is leo.. not sure about mars.. a gemini with a capricorn moon is a good combo! very versitile but stable.

    i have a cancer best friend since about 6th grade in school. its all about him though except when he's down then, when i build him up, he goes the other way headstrong and cocky!

    i think when presented the just friends thing your cancer man agreed but thinking he could get you back by not being selfish and concentraiting on you. once he has you back, i would worry e will be # 1 again. something inside was telling you something when you pulled back. you may want to focus on that again and see what presents itself.

    what reading have you been doing about men??? it seems to me the things ive read just concentrait on the loud types that are all into sports and testostrone , most which are still boys just bigger. lol

  • acually i think my mars is pices

  • lol true, true, true. Everyone seems to say cancers are confusing, and non commital

  • I worked for a very emotional,clingy,confused and very dramatic and angry cancerian dentist once and it was the very worst time of my life for 6 months.

    There again I am a young care-free Libran and i don't do draining emotions and self pity!!!

  • Hi I am a cancer female and my husband is a cancer male the thing to know about cancers we

    are very self kept to in our own way we love to have people boost us up that gives us the power

    so we think, the difference is that if you can get a cancer man then you have to teach him before you are with him cause if not then he has you. I aint saying not to go for it but be the teacher first.

  • can you elaborate april, teach him what?

  • So......I am probably NOT the person to be giving you advice, LOL, but one thing came to mind when I read your situation. Basically, you guys went through the typical cancer yo-yo nightmare. Then you said "okay, thats enough, we're going back to friendship." So, now, here you are....but if you want to be intimate again, I think the main question is this: Is your CANCER ready? Right? Cause thats what the problem was in the first place. Do you want to be physical with him and have it just be 'friends with benefits' or do you want to turn it into a relationship? I think you need to ask him, where he's at in his life first. Because if he still isn't ready or whatever his problem was in the beginning, then your just going to go through the same issues all over again.

    So, I guess my advice (LOL) would be to either talk to him about it first, or wait for him to initiate anything.

  • well you have to teach him how you want him cancer men learn very well and speak up and let him know this is what you like and dislike if you can get a cancer man love you than you will have it all the way

  • Thank you. I feel like I understand a lot about him, I have just been trying to teach him that it's ok with me if he needs time or space to reflect as long as he communicates to me so I don't worry. It's hard to know if he's learned that lesson because he hasn't withdrawn from me since I withdrew from him.... how do I get him to understand that communicating (saying verbally) his desires/needs will save both of us a lot of confusion? Can a cancer be taught that or should I be the one to make the adjustments?

  • You forget that cancer i sign of the crab. move and act like a crab too. his eyes are on the ball yet his moves indicates he moves away, not so, its a delusion to trick you. we can learn a lot from the animals our signs are sign of. Linda goodman has best described the signs and their traits. Ya oughta google her lol

  • hey maria. The truth is I don't know what I want. I don't want to over talk our situation and kill the mood. I know that I love him and he loves me , if he is willing to TRY I believe we can make our relationship work. We were both newly divorced when we started dating, I was really afraid to get too involved at the time, now my feelings have changed, on the other hand when he starts talking about marrige and having a big wedding I get a bit overwhelmed. That's my gemini nonsense I know, we're spending the whole day/night together I'll find out where it goes and keep yall posted

  • oh and maria he is NO initiator EVER. He is mad crazy amazing mind blowing (the best ever) when the ball gets rolling, but in the whole 3 years plus we've been intimate, I can count the times when he actually did more then imply, or sudgest, or something indirect. He does that everytime we're together. I have spent the last 8 months pretending like I don't notice the way he's pulling at me, or laugh when he sudgest "taking a nap", or he'll ask if I miss or think about us cause he does all the time or something to that effect. he's not direct in his approach but he makes up for that...anyway for me to wait for him to like grab me or take me.... he's only done that 1 or 2 times and we were playing a crazy game.... I really can't imagine him being bold and direct, it's like he thinks it's rude or something.

  • so i met with my cancer, everything was wonderful, we connected talked about our past , present , and future we decided to stop seeing other people. He has a few female "friends" I asked him to narrow them down to women who he's known for over 3 years and not slept with. I really don't want him talking to any other women but compromise is good right? we were so close and bonded he called me this morning to make sure I was ok. Things went better then I had planned, he actuall told and showed me all the ways he was trying to change to make me happy.

    I never wanted to change him i just want to understand what he needs and how I can give it to him. now lets see what happens over the coming weeks, with the ebb and flow. In the past he'd pull away after about 2 days (he always calls the next day) we had it out at the beggining because to not call a girl the next day is JUST MEAN to me anyway like I said we'll see what the week brings and hope things have changed for the better at long last

  • YOU GO GIRL! Woo hoo! Finally someone on here outwitted her cancer man! LOL. Sorry for the enthusiasm. Its just nice to see someone working out their problems and being smart about it rathar than creating more like I have a tendency to do. Good for you! ( :

  • Thank you, but the jury is still out time will tell....but it's looking pretty good

  • SexyGem,

    what happened with your cancer man?

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