Questions About A Pendulum Reading I Recieved

  • I had recently received a pendulum reading about my ex because I had many questions regarding a lot of things that he may have lied to me about and needed closure from. It was very blunt but some details were odd but I feel it may be spot on as well.

    The reading told me that my ex is gay and has been sleeping around throughout our relationship and met a man name Carlos in online 2016 and is in love with him but Carlos is a drug addict who is using him. I know who Carlos is but he met him (from what I know) earlier this year and my ex was around me a lot and I find it hard to see the time he has to cheat but I believe it.

    I'm very shocked how he managed to hide it if its true.

    Is this reading rather accurate?

  • And she also noted my son would be abused if I continued to stay

  • As in sexually abused she also claimed that he was addicted to heroin

  • Bumpity bump I just really curious on this reading it was rather random and scared me for the most paet

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  • Bumpity Bump Bump! No spammers allowed!

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  • I am not sure this will help but will read for you anyway. All I see is your precious child! You can break a family cycle but I know how hard that intention will be. In fact before you make any relationship decisions you should always put your child first and ask yourself what your intention is. It can't be all about can't be needy over your child's needs. Unfortunately, life can SEEM unfair when abused and neglected you......grow up wounded. You live in two worlds....the one in your head that knows better but is still too wounded to put knowledge into action...and the world outside you that you paint according to your needs. Your need for control is your blind spot and you ATTRACT a mirror in the men you choose. Your need for control keeps you out of therapy and from finding medication to help you out of this corner you have backed yourself into. Just because you are not the violent one doesn't mean you two are not equally damaged. The man in question is mentally ill. He needs more than therapy....his illness needs meds and a good psychiatrist and even that will not cure the hard life he faces. This is reality. His true self is what you hang on to but you must include the reality of his illness...which will only grow worse as he ages. Also, he helps you be complacent with your own mental health. With get to be the good one....the ok one. Therapy would help you with healthy perspective. Your child is going to suffer like you did and you will do the last thing you ever wanted. You were meant to be scared by that reading because you are not listening to any advice and the window of effect for your child is counting down. You are not healthy enough right now for any man. Until you can survive on your own and be a healthy mother , you will keep attracting damaged men. You will continue to attract disrespect and violence and your child will suffer. Your x was raised by a mother who could not protect herself or him and now he is a manchild who has a deep love hate relationship with women. He loves his mother yet he has a dark place full of rage because she did not protect him. His illness is also genetic so he was brought up by mentally ill family members. You have mentally ill family members. Your family will not step up and help you as they feel you are stubborn and make bad choices and feel they can not waste their money. I rarely give such scary predictions but if there is a chance of turning the future around it is now. Start searching the country for a place of refuge. Do not tell friends or x. You need a positive place to just heal and grow and give your child a sense of feeling safe. Pray everyday for this....make a choice to do this and commit to it. Do not be tempted to find a man right now will heal you. You must trust the right people....not the easy ones....the right people are going to help you heal and to deal with the wounds that like to live in the dark and will continue to attract other folks who live in the dark and make it ok not to deal with reality. I pray for your little one that you make him your full focus and bring the light of special people into his life. Start searching and calling. You are loved! BLESSINGS!

  • Thank Blmoon and I am completely grateful for your insight as stubborn as I can be you are completely right about my need for control. I also learned in therapy helping others or my codependency and need to fix others distracts me from working on myself. I blocked out alot of my childhood and know I am pretty damaged even reading this helps me recognized Im more damaged than Im willing to admit at times but lately my depression is helping me come face to face with my demons. Handling them can be rather hard but I have to face this challenge regardless. I have been considering alot lately and need to reflect on alot more so I can actually not wander all over the place.

    I have been rather focused on this relationship for many reasons but you are right both of us need to focus on healing. I have been making steps toward healing inch by inch and living apart from him for the past 3 months but I need to make more effort to focus on me and my son I feel. I am strong and know I have a long road ahead of me but I willing to do all the work needed and I am scared as h e l l Change is scary but I feel the Universe purposefully wants me to grow and heal and develop my strength even further. This roadblock in my life is causing me to face many dark truths alone but I need this despite how scary it is for me.

    I appreciate you not judging me or my situation and supporting me. It helps me feel as if someone cares and Im not alone. I have been hurting alot on the inside but Im looking forward to the otherside of progress. Im trying my best to take this one day at a time. I have been told through many readings about mental illness. Whether it be me or my ex but I have been stubborn and prideful mostly scared. Im focused on self healing Im scared to use my identity, psyche and to depend on the meds. I know you are not a medical professional but do you think meds are best or is there anyway more holistic methods could help me?

  • My son means the world to me and I feel so bad for being so selfish I feel. I am trying the best I can. It gets so hard to handle everything I am handling and being a mother. I want to be the best mother for him and put him first. I also want to do whats best for me so I can do whats best for him. Im just venting Blmoon and I am so thankful you can hear me out and be honest with me. I needed to hear this

  • you are never alone! And I believe in supplements personally. But the reality of mental illness is needing meds. You can control some f the triggers but meds are like insulin for a diabetics. Mental illness is a medical condition where the brain has a chemical imbalance. My husband is bipolar (manic depressant) We have been together since our teens....over 50 years! I can speak for the saving grace of finding a good psychiatrist and the right meds! What are you really afraid of? Be good to yourself.

  • I loved the way you put it and I believe I am bipolar as well. It has something I has suspected since I in middle school and I studied but was ridiculed by my family for even seeking help. I believe supplements can help but I am reconsidering medication as well at this point in my life. I have been attending therapy regularly and enrolled my son in as well. Ive been living in shelter for sometime but miss the comforts of freedom but overall thankful Ive had sometime to reflect and hell these past 3 months. My time here has been up but Im here day by day til they can find transitional housing lately no luck so I might have to move back in with my ex unfortunately because I have no place to go. Luckily this time I have more money saved up and he told me he wanted to help so Im trying to take his word as I weigh this out. We both also have discussed consueling relationship and individual consueling. I am steadily going to my sessions and has been working more. For the time being til I have to go (its a day by day thing) I am in shelter just reflecting and confronting my demons. I am questioning alot about myself as scary as it is. Its been very eye opening but forces me to confront something many are scared of truth.

    I am trying visualize the best outcome for myself and my sons future. I sometimes spend hours visualizing my future life I want and sometimes figuring what you want isnt as easy as it seems. Ive been writing down my wants and goals lately to keep things in perspective and shaping my life around it. I can't wait to get a grip on my living situation. Itll be easier to focus on so much more. I can definitely say I give myself a pat on the back for handling so much at once and challenging myself to heal and grow.

    I really hope all goes well for me and hope all is well with you as well. Do you think Im heading in the right direction because I am really trying to do the best I can with what I have while taking carw of myself and striving for more?

  • Try not to see yourself as needing to be fixed and then your good. Life is a journey. You can see all that is missing or you can celebrate the small things accomplished.. Try to make one positive effort a day towards your goals. Be kind to yourself. What feels better? Counting blessings or losses? It is safe to feel good.

  • Thank you Blmoon I will definitely keep that in mind. Counting blessings feels a ton better!

  • Hey Blmoon,

    I am not going to lie I have been really frightened and depressed about the stage of my life right now. I have been psychologically and emotionally abused throughout my life starting with my parents causing me to struggle with my identity and self worth over time. I faked my confidence til I made it overtime my confidence grew as I tried to rebuild myself. I was single for about 3 years before I met Rene.

    He was almost everything I wanted-experienced, adventurous, lively outgoing, fun and popular but he also seemed like that of a playboy but I saw the real him and we grew closer over time and we'd seem to share a deep connection know what the other was thinking ans finish each other's sentences and I was always there for him no matter what and felt good healing him from the all the bad (Ilearned later that I was being co dependent) he even helped me let go of my anger with my parents and seemed to have the a dark past with childhood abuse as well. We could be ourselves and say whatever we wanted around each other which I hadnt felt that open and communicative with anyone before. We both felt great that we can share everything let our guard down and be ourselves. We shared deep talks and dark secrets about ourselves. I lost my virginity partied and had adult fun for the first time in my life working and on my own. After a fight with my mother, I moved in with him because I had no where else to go. Soon after, we became closer partied and but soon after we were evicted and bounced from hotel to hotel. Soon after I became, he was so excited and felt he would be a better man with the baby. I was scared but took responsibility and treated myself as a mom in training and excited to share life with my percieved soul mate.

    Life was hard we both couldn't keep our jobs because we kept bohncing from place to place. He would still party and ended up battling addiction and would go out frequently. I supported him at first because I knew he loved to dance and wanted to see him happy but after awhile I became lonely and would ask for him to be with me. Rene became more and more depressed and would start acting out as he got angry at oyr situation. Never do things with me, always in a bad mood and didnt seem to cater to my emotional needs but would always apologize soon after. He was so deep into his addiction and we suffered as he wasnt thinking straight and qe bounced around. He got a job 2 days before our son Roman was born and we struggled to find shelter after. He was so deep into his addiction at times he would be mean as I cried and constantly forget about me when it came to his friends. I figured it was steess and that we both needed help so we did the only thing we could at the time move to CA with his parents who were willing to help.

    We moved to CA with our son and quickly discovered how choatic living with his family was. Constant battles over rules and money and it was hard because there were times I felt he was disrespectful to his parents and he would get mad if I got involved. It was here I felt Rene started being more mean spirited self centered and abusive towards me. I didnt know what it was he would always lash out with a vicious tongue selfish self centered attitude. We hardly had space together without the baby and he got to go out alone way more than me which I became resentful of. We started doing mostly what he wanted and he would blow money when we needed to save and use it on more useful things. I was stuck taking care of our son and struggling to be heard. There was alot of emotional abuse in this period put downs yelling name calling sarcarsm then came the random sprouts of physical abuse that would escalte from the arguments. He woudk cry and tell me he hates himsrlf and blame it on the stress of everything especially not having our own place then it continued.

    As time progressed our convos wouldnt be as fluid. I was still in love and invested but it felt as if he didnt feel the same. He would put his friends wants and needs first before mine and I wouldnt be able to do the things I wanted to do with him like go on dates unless he wanted to go. He didnt compromise on his tough parenting style that I thought was too much. He would go off on walks instead of wanting to talk to me and I remember when I would cry he would coldly dismiss me as crazy or weak or how he couldn't handle it or understand it sometimes yelling as I had my panic attack. He would seem sorry and r3morseful after the damage was done. I caught him flirting with girls and even had Craigslist post for men but swore he didnt cheat just acted out fantasies. I was embarrassed but still loved him and wanted to work things out. We soon became evicted from his parents and ended up in hotels and things became worse. He became more distant, self absorbed mean and abusive. I didnt know what to do but felt like he still loved me but I found it hard to deal with because there was so much happening at one time.

    Eventually we found a trailer to settle at as our home, I would think he would be better being we triumphed out of homelessness but the distance selfishness and abuse became worse. It was almost painful how much alone I felt and he would have no explaination which would bother me and hed be seemingly cold but then tell me hes sorry and how hes so stressed which isnt an excuse. I had discovered Craisgslist ads of him messaging men and trannys for sex which bothered me because we had been so open with each other and I was aware of his bi tendencies but felt sad he would even flirt or attempt to step out on me. Long story short after a fight he disapperead one night cruising for sex met a man who discussed spiritual thigns with him guided me to the shelter where Im at and now here I am trying to heal and repair myself one day at a time

    My 45 days here are overdue and its been almost 90 days. 90 is the limit I havent found any transitional housing and have no place to go if I dont and now I might need to move with my ex. I currently attending consueling, hes expressed how he wants therapy for himself and a relationship consuleor has reached out to us before. I am just overwhelemed and feel he treats me the same- but sometimes Im confused and feel he cares. I know love doesnt feel this way but my journey has been all over the place and Im not sure whats the purpose or how to handle all of this.

    Do have any insight to my situation? Will I find housing outside of my ex soon despite no job and little money (working on this) and if I do have to move back is there any chance I will be ok?

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  • Help is out there but you have to do the hard part. Hanging on to a toxic abusive relationship will undo any help you get. You want a better future but you want your man to be some one you need but HE IS NOT. It is not your home situation that makes him full of mood swings.....violence and instability. Stop searching to fix him.Stop making excuses for him. He is classic on the mental illness scale. Educate yourself. He sounds bipolar. Look up the symptoms. Yes they can be normal at times and it's real. But when they are ill that person is real. When mania starts it is deceiving because they actually start with a great upbeat energy and it seams so positive. They become extra friendly and have great ideas and to a loved one this is so hopeful! They have great energy and again this is so reassuring to a loved one. Medically it's all about serotonin in the brain. The feel good chemical. It increases and the body can not sustain that kind of continual energy . The brain needs sleep but when manic the illness takes away sleep. And the too much feel good chemical starts giving the ill person a unrealistic feeling of invincibility. They become delusional about the reality of danger and start showing very reckless choices. They make very risky financial decisions. A bipolar when having a manic episode can deplete all the finances practically overnight. They have thoughts of grandeur and believe in get rich schemes. They feel powerful in spending money. As the mania goes on the brain becomes very unstable without sleep. They may fall asleep but it is very brief. Without rest things get ugly. Irritability grows into paranoia and outbursts. The have super human strength and can do great violence. Then they get desperate for rest.....the racing thoughts and worn out nerves become very painful. Desperate they move into the self medicating stage. Anything they can find to stop the mania. The amount of drugs or alcohol they can do is not normal....and loved ones who join in could OD on the same amounts. They become very promiscuous and engage in risky sx encounters. Eventually, if they don't end up in jail or death they crash. They stay in bed and with complete serotonin depletion and with great depression. They go from feeling too much to rock bottom nothing. It's this stage that bipolars are most likely to be suicidal. The danger he puts you and your child in is real and you can't control it. The meds for him are trial and is a great effort to find the doses and kinds that work for him. It takes a strong mature care giver to help manage this. It is no easy life. Even on meds and under care bipolars often miss that first manic high and will stop taking meds. Once manic sets in bipolars feel invincible and intervention is tough. And the cycle starts all over again. Never forget reality! You must make a complete detachment from this man. There is no help that will succeed long until you do this first. He could cost you custody of your child. Reach out to churches and FOLLOW THEIR ADVICE! Call your parents and beg to go home and promise them no more men...OR partying and reassure them you regret your immature past but you are trying hard to become self sufficient. Tell them you are escaping abuse and follow through on their rules. They will require no contact with him. No phone calls. Be prepared to call police or get restraining orders. I know the young part of you wants to be young and have fun but you are a mother now, Responsibility now will build a foundation. You need a safe environment for your and a job.BUT first you must let go of needing a man until you are stronger. BLESSINGS! PS pray to Saint Michael every morning to help you through another day.

  • Hey Blmoon,

    I moved back to my mother's home about 2 weeks ago after living with my ex for the past 2 months. He was definitely addicted to mthampetamine which made him really even more mean and self absorbed than he was. It hurt alot being that I was still in love with him but no matter what I did to try to inspire him to change or show me that he loved me or wanted to spend time with me and our son, he was repelled by us even more. He was extremely cruel to me and my feelings with extreme mood swings while seemingly remorseful at times. But his actions showed me otherwise. I also saved us from being evicted twice but after awhile I couldn't take any more so I packed up my things and left.

    It took me awhile but I was breaking down too much inside. It hurts to love someone who isn't good to you or doesn't treat you with the same love you treat them with. Plus, my mother's home is full of strife and unimaginable stress as well and it's really hard for me to open up to them as well being that they can be just as mentally abusive and self centered at times. I've been depressed and semi suicidal from time to time but I know I have to get to my destination one day at a time. I just feel that the love from my family and their intentions are more apparent than the man I felt emotionally abandoned me way too many times. He even made the breakup about himself and treated me as if he doesn't was angry towards me. As much as I hate him, Im still very hurt and want to get past my anger towards him and have closure because I am so confused on why our 4 year relationship turned out to be so messed up and how things ended? Did he truly ever love me? Or was he using me for comfort?

    I want to move past this but need this explanation for closure because not only was I confused I was angry about being this lost and having no one to turned to at this time and I'm really lost and hurt. Knowing this will help me move on.

  • Also, Im confused on who to trust at this time knowing my choices are limited with help, my ex's brother who lives down here in Texas told me he could help me out and fully supports me as did his parents (particularly) his father and sister. Ive also talked to a few friends of his but theirs few I don't trust like Max or Redrick

    Im not sure how true their intentions are. Do they truly want to help me? How do they feel about me?

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