Y u need 2 no
unsettled due 2 lack of communication, use third trusted party if needed or go 2 known locations 2 run itto him.
What are you referring to? dob 71660
Are you willing to do a reading?
Hello! if you are willing to do a reading...will you help me?
I would truley, truely, appreciate some insight into my relationship, ...and my life. In a week I start cosmetology school... I want to own my own business. I want control over my life! and I stll love my man...help.
Me and my "Fiance" met three years ago at a rock concert...I am a sagittarius, and He is an aquarius. It was lust, and fire, and air from the first moment. No joke. : )...however I acknowledge that I was in a somewhat destructive period of my life, and maybe made a rash desicion. ...He is my first and only. Now we have a four month old son. I also had a previous miscariiage about two yers ago. Their is intense LOVE. But he is afflicted with alchol, and drug addiction. Also I found out about six months ago that he cheated on me for about two weeks with a co worker, about a year ago. This hurts very much... As much as we love one another our relationship has always been "crazy" I think about ending it all the time. but I just cant a very true, real part of me just wants to walk this "road" with him forever. we are so connected...He just recently came back from a 2 month rehab...Like I said we now have a precious son...can any one help me? what do I do??? Do I have to leave him? Will he be a good daddy? or is better to keep him away from my son? Will he cheat on me again? Dose he love me like I think he dose? will we always be togethor, or should I just limit the fall out? Will he ever get better and live a good life with me or without me? I need some insight please help me, please help me. and Thank You.
Am going out on a limb here, as even with what you describe about this man's demons and the troubles that have befallen both of you, he is your soulmate, he is worth the wait for you, but the road will be long, windy and quite painful for some time yet. If you are prepared to ride the rocky road with him, or stand away from him while he traverses some of it alone, you will both be there together at the end of it. He is a very intense person, like you, and I think you both need to look at the lighter side of life rather than focus on those other influences which bring the darkness to both of you. Be prepared to be a single mum for a bit longer yet, but please, please, this is a partnership that has great hope and potential for love if you are both prepared to go the distance. You are young yet, but I see that both of you are quite evolved souls whose main lessons in this life have been to live successfully alone, but also to eventually bring to each other those lessons you have individually learned to a long-lasting and beneficial partnership for both of you. I don't see you being happy to be with anyone else while you wait for this man either; that is your choice entirely. He is the same I feel. Anything else will simply be a fling for him; a release.
Who abused him as a child by the way? This abuse is the main cause of his troubles as he feels he deserved it in some way. He didn't; no child does. Yet he can't go on in this self-blame trip forever. Once he sees this, he'll heal. It's like he carries the residue of this pain like a banner. He needs to realise it's not "cool" to carry such a flag, if you know what I mean.
Hope this helps
Btw, my above post is for KarmaComa! Sorry
I wish I could adequetly describe how grateful I am that you helped me cris...a couple days ago when I first got onto the forums, and decided to post this looking for help. (iv posted it many many times, im actually embaressed) A post of someone elses that you had responded too, is what inspired me to do so...your the one I had hoped would help me...neat huh? : ) ...Thank you so much!
It feels so good to hear someone say that we are soulmates...its funny but I had never really thought to use that phrase...but thinking it now I realize that yes! thats exactly what "it" is, thats exactly how "it" feels. : ) and you saying that "he is worth the wait for me" is perfect to. I want to tattoo it to my forehead and tell my "friends" and family to finally just leave me alone about it. lol, but seriously.
Its really nice to feel validated by someone other than eachother, its nice to not feel like an idiot...Yes I know that we both need to think about the good things, and not dwell so much on the bad.
And yes Ryan is very INTENSE, as am I. ...he is also very inside himself, he has alot of "secrets" I think...
As far as me not being happy to be with anyone else goes, your dead on! I havea few "suitors" lol one of wich my parents would ADORE! but...I belong to Ryan...Thats a choice that I make, and a choice that makes me feel good...that knowledge and that choice "satisfys" many diffrent aspects of my person...
Yes, it dose help IMMENSLY! I wont bore you with elaborating. : )
can you tell me more about what you "see" as far as the abuse goes...He has told me that his mother used to hit him, and generally treat him very poorly. From what I personaly know, and have experienced of her she is a "toxic" kind of person, very fake...a liar.
She however told me about finding journals of his detailing a possible sexual abuse when he was a child, I asked him about this and he said "if it did I dont remember" Soooooo ... judgeing from that I am certain that something happened. And lastly I have been told that his biological fathers wife was very cruel to him.
I would love to know more, if you see more...and my extreme thanx always.
I dont know if you use pictures, (I probably watch to much psychic detectives) but I thought I might give you another, Ryan his mom, and his half brother.
I look at the picture of his mother and all I can feel about her is hardness, sarcasm and great bitterness. She saw Ryan as some sort of chain around her feet and treated him accordingly; like he was in her way all the time. She showed him love which was not the traditiional sort of mother/son love - rather it was like she'd tell him she hated him in one breath, then turn around and hug and kiss him the next. He sadly took that abuse - subconsciously - with him to the step-mother who was a similar type of person and again treated him the same pretty much; it was like he was drawing it to him as he felt he deserved no better. His father was a weakling and I get that he was a heavy drinker and one who simply let mum run things her way as he couldn't be bothered to "interfere". In a sense Ryan's mum had emotionally beaten his father into submission which is about what happened with his stepmother. So all Ryan has known all his young life is abuse, mistreatment, love with mixed (and often WRONG) messages, and that men pretty largely are weak.
Ryan is not weak at all. But he is letting his childhood rule his adolescence (is he about 19 or so?) I feel so sorry for him; I truly do. But as said above in my other post, he needs to recognise this "belief" he carries and undo it before it consumes him completely. He's young yet, so that's in his favour. You're strong enough to weather this storm and as I said before, it will be one heck of a stormy ride for both of you. Patience, understanding and sometimes distance are the things that will carry you through here. And yes, don't listen too much to what others say about it AS SUCH. They are concerned for your well being and happiness, but I get that you're a very determined and strong-willed young lady who'll do what she damn well pleases and bugger the consequences!! That's okay to a degree my friend, but please pull back when you feel this overwhelming you too much. You need to protect yourself as much as you can and you'll know when you need to do this.
What has happened to Ryan should have been reported to the police. He has been a victim more than once and this poor creature has not been able to do anything about it, hence his belief he deserved/deserves this sort of crap. He does not.
Won't rave on anymore. But I am praying for him to get the help he desperately needs. He can't rely on you for everything; there are organisations who can help him, even if it's just to talk and offload some of this baggage.
Good luck to both of you. I will tell you this: provided Ryan sorts these issues out and heals himself, you will both reap the benefits BIG TIME. As they say, nothing worthwhile is easy, so just aim for that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow because it will be there in all its shining glory for both of you.
Your story has touched me more than any others I've come across on here I can say that unreservedly. Ryan's mother reminds me of my foster son's mother in character, etc, and my boy's mum is one CRAZY, SICK-MINDED woman, but we won't go there ... yet
Good luck. I'd like to know how you go with this xoxoxoxoxoxox
Hey cris...You are exactly right about his mom...to a T. CRAZY lol YES! ...AND NOW IM FEELING GUILTY...She is not a "evil" person. but she is most definetly flawed. As are we all, and I know this. And also yes his biological father was and is a hopeless, and for lack of a better word "worthless" alchoholic. Also right about him being weak and "beaten" into submission by both women
...You psychic's amaze me...its just plain amazing...and wonderful.
Ryan is actually 27. however it dosnt suprise me that you might get the "feeling" that he was nineteen. In many, many ways he is nineteen and hes been stuck their for a long, long time.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your prayers. That and your counsel, means more to me than I can say.
Well the crud hit the fan lastnight. He came to pick me and the baby up to go to a "celebrate recovery" meeting...long story short I found out that he has been using again for about a week. Also he told me that he drank for the first 28 days of his 60 day stint in rehab. He says he had a "spiritual" experience on the 28th day. He said he had a dream that someone that had died came to him and gave him a hug and told him that they were in heaven. When he woke up he could still feel their presence. He went that day to his counselors and told them everything.
He didnt say but I think that the "someone that had died" was Katie Miller is girlfriend in highschool. He was in love with her. The drugs killed her about five or six years ago I think. They were broken up LONG before that though.
I have decided that I will not let him see me or the baby again until he shows up with a paycheck stub in his hands...It is time to hold him accoutible...The gig is up! and he knows it.
Maybe im crazy but im glad it has happened this way...I feel that things are progressing if that makes any sense. More and more his Illisions are crumbling, and that is a good thing the universe can not allow him to continue this way, somethings got to give, and something will. He told me that when he used yesterday he prayed to god that something would happen to stop him from getting "sucked" back in. And something did. His drugs fell out of his pocket somehow and into my parents driveway...he was found out. As for me, yes I am very strong willed...but I agree with you I must watch myself, look out for myself, and pull back when it is time, like now.I start school in 2 days, and im focused on the life im planning for my son and I. And I pray every night that Ryan will be their with us...and I feel that he will be. I am Okay. : ) lol I think it was a good thing, all of it even him relapsing.
The place that hes living is a "half way" house run by a godly man...Can you tell me anything about that? I feel that it is the right place for him to be.
I am touched that you say that you are touched... I'l say it again! lol Thank you, thankyou!
Hi Cris, understand you are really good in insight and i seriously need your guidance on an issue i kept within myself for these past few years. Really hope you can render some help to me. Thank you so much.
I got close to this galfriend of mine during a camp after i broke off with my ex.
She's an intelligent, witty & charming lady and we hit it off after the camp we had in 2006.
somehow, things went wrong.....when i'm with her, past issues with my ex. re-surface whenever we argue or quarrels. I mean, its not that we argued about my ex...but that whenever we had an arguement, somehow i'm stuck in not knowing how to handle as it always remind me of my past relationships. Somehow, this is also e same reason why i did not get itimate or open up myself to her emotionally.
Another issue which i find it overwhelming is that when i'm with her, i've done all the nasty things which i never will do in a relationship. (eg. walk off in the mid of an arguement, hang up phone etc.) All these actions actually makes me guilty and upset with myself....but i just cant control it.
Eventually, we drifted apart and she stopped seeing me or answer my calls in end 07.
But deep down inside me, i know very well that my feelings for her are true & real. Just that i can't handle myself emotionally.
After she left me, I blamed myself for treating her bad and am really guilty for all the wrongdoings....but i have this strong feelings that i'm not over with her yet. And i believe and hope my sincerity will touched her some day. (so, i still send her email, sms or cards these yrs....but of cos, without any reply or acknowledgment from her)
Everyone has this 'solitude period' after break off (i dunno whether you agrees with me). And for me, (based on my past relationship experiences) i normally takes 4 yrs to really heal myself before going into another new relationship. I reckon i jump in too fast with her after my relationship with my ex.
I do not have the chance to explain these to her cos she totally break the connection. Even our common friends.
This year marks the 4th yrs separation with my ex. which means i'm healed for new relationship or should i say, i'm able to control myself emotionally ( i am doing meditation & yago for self realization)....and i felt that my love for this galfriend grows stronger as each yr passes.
Should i or should i not confess my feelings and e truth to her?
Is she in love with me before & now still? and how should i approach to connect with her?
Have she forgiven me?
I actually do not want to impose or disturb her peaceful life if our path will not cross no more. Cos hurting her is the last thing i want to do now...but i do hope to write to her to ask for her forgiveness so that i hope to resolve this negative energy between us.
I recently had a dream that we patched back after all my explanation to her. We even kissed watching the sunset by the beach. Dunno whether this is premonition or i think too much.
Our birth date, if you should require them: i'm 5Mar76 while she's 23Nov74.
Can you kindly enlighten me with your insight?
Thousands and millions THANKS
Love from Fishy76
Your also correct about the distance thing...it has played a role many. many times in our relationship and as much as I know neither one us actually wants it that way I think we both know that its needed. The man that hes living under by the way his name is Brice.
...How do you know your foster sons mom? are you with the father? what sorts of things has she done?