Help, my son, Joshua, was found dead in Amsler Park/McGregor, Tx on February 16, 2006. The police, without investigating, surmised that his death was due to suicide. I totally disagree, because I know my son, but I am desperate to know the truth.
Please help me to get peace of mind.
His DOB: March 4, 1986
MY DOB: July 5, 1956
I wish I could help you...hopefully some one here can. did he overdose?
The following is for you to read and take as you will and want.In no way is it meant to be set as definite set in stone information.I am not sure what one puts as a disclosure on these since I do not normally do internet readings because the communication becomes difficult and my translations from the other side come from my personal background..I also have a bit of a problem with some of these accents,,your son has a drawl that I am not quite used to,,LOl,,
.Closure and moving forward in a positive way after the death of a child can only come from with in yourself.Having a reading may help you move forward with this or it may set you back into more denial.I normally will not and do not do these on a site.However I know I was guided here today and since this is the first question that came up and was accompanied by a young man who refers to himself not as Joshua but as Josh..That said this is not going to be as in depth as if one is in a session with me.I am picking up energy from not only the soul that goes by Josh but also the energy from you which is still a very highly emotional energy that is charged with a negative edge as you are still exploring and searching for the answers and life lessons you will learn from those negative feelings.
I pick up from you yourself that you have not been able to grasp the sense of acceptance from your sons passing.You have anger towards those who handled the situation with Josh.As his mother you are feeling trapped in the isolation that comes from the unanswered questions of why? It is a torturous battle of the mind as you are fighting your way to come to some understanding about Josh.Knowing that your son was involved with a darker side has continuously kept the pot stirred so to say.You have not been able to find ways to quiet your mind so the pain resurfaces as the questions continue to be unanswered.Josh says that you know the answer in your heart even if your mind will not accept it.
Josh acknowledges and sends his love to you..I also pick up that Josh himself had a little problem with the law and some other factors.However his death he says was by his own hand. He is showing me chains He describes a lack of air flow and his head hurting.Before the quiet slumber that he was seeking.His passing was very quick to the other side and was painless other then the feelings that he has experienced during his review in regards to those he left behind.He knows that he has hurt not just you his mother but a young lady,, (I am not clear if this is a friend who is a girl or a sister(kaya???)) and a brother ( mikey???)more so then others who love him,,,, he acknowledges your prayers and thoughts and he understands the anger you feel with his passing he is very sorry for the pain his actions have caused....He chose the park because it was close and he often sought solace there.From what I pick up Josh had some on going problems that he was searching for answers but the answers never came until he made the final decision that he needed to leave this earth to find his answers...Josh had a struggle with some depression which he was self medicating for however at the time of his death he had a clear mind and his body was clean..That was what had began to his spiral down into the depths that he chose to take his life.He wants you to know that his death was not about you nor the young lady.You could not of helped him in any way.He hopes you may be able to look at it and make more sense if you realize he was sick, his mind was at odds with the rest of him.He felt himself being pulled down deeper and deeper into a world which he had no control.This calmed when he looked for a way out to not only end his pain but in his mind the pain and anguish he believed he was causing to others.He also brings up he had some misplaced anger issues ,, He now understand those very well and has forgiven and sends love. Josh thought if he was gone then others would be able to live with out him in the picture..He is sorry that Mike? saw his physical ending and that this has caused him to have many nightmares.He asks forgiveness, he now that his life had much more meaning then he believed...he asks forgiveness from the younger girl as he knows she suffered much guilt from his leaving this world,He says it was not her actions but those of people who loved her that brought about his sadness and more feelings that if he was gone life would be easier for everyone with out him,,he understand much more about the world now.he sends much love to all, he also wants Mike and Kaya, to know that he messes with them to let them know he is still about.You to mom,,electronics are great with a laugh and a smile.He also wanted to let you know he has come to terms with some fatherly issues he had and understands more about his life and what he learned while he was on earth.he has been working hard with his soul and those of several others who are by his side, 3 more so dominant ones,, who also wave,, and say Hello one refers to you as,cynthia?? and is a much older lady..Anyhow,, Josh is thank me and following the others as their energy is leaving my presence,,
I am not sure if this is what you were searching for along your journey.I know from previous experiences.That you yourself must find the inner peace that will bring a sense of closure.You your self must find the place and time on your grief journey to lay your son to rest and know that he is beside you at all times.it is very hard to loose a child in this physical world it is even harder to work through the stages of grief to find a comfortable place in this world that can help us find ourselves..Have you stopped and looked at the life lessons and virtues you may be learning from the loss of your son.I ask this because all the souls on the other side stress that physical loss in our world is meant to teach those left behind lessons that we would otherwise not learn.Traumatic deaths seem to be the ones that bring the biggest challenges to our souls here on earth as the ego has a way of stepping in making these challenges even larger..Grief of a loved one is an individual journey,, suicide comes with another set of grieving issues..Inquirer53,,You need to find your way back to yourself.You have been so intertwined in a search that you have lost yourself..You need to slow down and look at those around you and take the time to get to know the person you have been becoming the last few years.You need to find who you are becoming tomorrow and embrace all the new facets of who you are..Your a very loved strong woman who has been on a path along the journey that should be close to connecting back up to the main trail..
I wish you well in your search for the quietness that comes from letting go,, we never have full closure until we cross over and join our loved ones..Be gentle with your self.
My heart goes out to you Ms. Lady Inquirer, I felt the emotions behind your inquiry and hope this my twisted world, gave you the closure that you needed. I am greatly sorry for your loss, and know that sometimes it can be a painful journey, especially if you don't have answers.
I lost a dear uncle many years ago, by murder. Til this day we have never been able to find the person who killed him. It was a brutal death, he was stabbed 57 times multiple stabbing to the head throat and chest. My grandmother passed away never knowing who killed her beloved son. Til this day I always remember his face and wish so bad he was still with us. But I know at times he does come and talk to me, especially when I was getting ready to move here. He told me that he always knew I would be the one who'd travel the world and work for others happiness. It was the closure I needed after all those years. His spirit is with you no matter what, please find it within you to move forward now. May you always be blessed.
I'm crying, and will probably continue to cry for some time to come!
You must be correct, as the young lady that was involved with Joshua was named Kayla. And yes, his brother is Michael, whom Josh called him Mikey, White Mike, among other names!
Yes, I'm angry, because McGreogor PD did not investigate the death, but to read your take on this death has opened my eyes, although it doesn't make it any easier as to the loss of my firstborn!
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!
How about another question? Will I ever have a life after losing my son? I've become so HARD and BITTER against men and life, in general. Is there really someone out there for me?
Everything that was said, including the names Kayla and Michael can be found in about 30 seconds from Goggling the information that you posted in your question. You have this information all over the internet.
If you want psychic advice on this issue you need to consult a good psychic or psychic medium that you don't give any, and I mean any, information too. They should take only your first name when booking your appointment and if you have to pay ahead of time by credit card or personal check use someone elses' if necessary. Make sure you schedule with someone who comes highly recommended and does not have you ask any questions before the reading. They will usually let you ask questions at the end if what you came for hasn't already been answered. If they haven't picked up that you had a son that died before this I wouldn't bother asking. Don't use someone in your area or that might be familiar with your case.
Sorry to take your closure away, but this is too important an issue for you to not go about this in a way that lets you know the information you are getting is pure.
What I gave you is what I have picked up from your son and his energy.I am sorry that manifest dreams is suggesting otherwise.They are very right about giving out information in doing a reading.Personally I do not need birthdates, nor names nothing.If you feel you need more please go see someone in person just make sure of their credentials,,also do not just see a psychic you need a medium who connects with your Josh's soul more so then with energy ,if you wish a clearer reading....A good medium will occasionally ask for a yes and no validation when doing a reading at times as well,..When people ask me who I would see if I was constantly questioning,, I tell them George Anderson or Janet Nohavec,,George is expensive has a big waiting list ,, where as Janet does 30 minutes for 100 bucks on a phone read .She is a retired nun now a rev for her church,,
When a soul knows one is going to connect with their loved ones they come through as your son has if they wish to,, at times one may only wish to speak to one soul and there may be six or seven others in their soul group wanting to be heard,,This can be frustrating for the person who is getting a reading,It does not matter if it is a local psychic or a phone reading with a world reknown medium..Tarot .com is not my usual place of doing a reading and with that said yours has been the only reading I have spent the time to bring my vibrations up for a clearer reading with Josh.
,What I picked up I would of loved to have done in a reading with you personally because it is what I tend to now use my gifts for.I hope that even with the questioning that you may be able to continue to find your sense of peace.I fully understand what you are going through.The questioning in this type of death can be very unreal for the survivors..You will move forward with your life..You will meet others who understand.The anger will slowly find its place of belonging.From what I understand from your son it is going to be a process for you in the line of men.He mentions forgiveness of ones self and you must learn to love who you are before you are ready to bring another soul. Once you find your way through you will meet some new friends both male and female who will bring someone who could be a bright light for you..
C, All this said let me explain a bit about myself in case you need to question more,, I used to work both as a medium doing phone and personal sessions connecting with the souls and their loved ones. In my case I rarely do the types of readings that the majority of people seek answers for. I prefer to use my gifts for what they were intended. to bring, joy, peace ,light and love to loved ones..When I am speaking with the souls I pick up their voices, scents, (your sons axo I believe it is)sometimes they use movie type clips if I struggle with their messages,depending on the souls and how much energy they wish to put out I also see them somewhat and occasionally in their energy state amongst a few other more individual things,,.Something like your sons very individual giggle giggle laugh are the first things I hear..In my world I have quit doing readings.When I say I understand what is running through your mind it is also because I have been there.My middle son shot himself almost a year ago.Since then I very rarely do readings,, in the beginning my world went silent from hearing the souls it was a gift from my son to help me heal.Now I only do smaller sessions many of which I do with loved ones like yourself which I follow with grief coaching that teaches easy tools and techniques that can help one connect with their loved ones on their own as well as handle the added stress that can come from the loss of a child.I was also asked to work with a group that is experimental which utilizes alternative methods to help one learn about their grief.Before someone jumps to the thought I am recruiting customers.I do my sessions and coaching from my home through the love and the light for those who have used them at no charge.Because the light did not share this gift with me to make money.It was given to help others through love.
I am also going to send a link to what is known as POS parents of suicide http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/parentsofsuicides/
On this group if you care to join you will find others who have all the issues you are experiencing.You will find many who also question their children's deaths as you are struggling with.I am a member there as well.It is totally free also.On this site I have been asked to use my ethics as a medium so I do not do readings nor recommend old friends who do readings.You can however ask others in the group since many of them have had both positive and negative readings from psychics.On occasions when personally contacted I have sent out information from souls to loved ones when it was needed for peace of mind..
I very much hope you continue on finding the acceptance of your sons crossing over.You have been so intertwined with the emotions of loosing him that you have kept your self struggling so much in the grief.We all grieve in different ways.The tears are meant to cleanse the soul so crying is so healthy for us..The journey through grieving is very individual, some move on in seconds, others minutes, hours, days weeks, years decades, centuries maybe it even takes eternity for others to learn and understand about the gifts we can learn from walking thhis journey in an individual way,,Please come over to pos and find yourself amongst those who can understand much of what your experiencing
I stand by what I said. I am not suggesting how you got your information, only that everything given is easily obtained by Googling the information that she provided in her question. Therefor it should be suspect. Since this is all over the internet I feel that she needs to go about this in a much more careful manner. This is just one of many sites where the info can be found.
What I have posted for Inquirer is for Inquirer herself to understand more about Josh and his mindset at his crossing over.It is from Josh for his mother whom he is watching struggle very hard with his death.Josh wants his mother to move forward and regain her happiness Inquirer herself knows what Josh is asking her to do from with in her heart.It is from Josh to help his mother.
Nothing more nothing less..
I have no debate with you over the fact there may be a way to track online info,Because I care less.I get my info from the souls...This is not about what you have brought up,, which by the way is very good information I have shared it for years.It was once on my site when I used to keep one up.As well as other ways to tell fakes and frauds who give the rest of us bad names and reputations.How I miss the days of no computers,, readings then were not questioned,,If this is to continue I would suggest another thread because yes people should understand.But also because it takes away from the real issue here....................
This is about a son reaching out to his mother with light and love so that she may begin to heal herself.You yourself understand what it is like to grieve over the loss of babies just as others who have miscarried understood you...
To mothers who have lost children in the way Inquirer has ,only others who are grieving in the same way can understand the questions , the hurt, the damage etc..I have been sent and asked by her son to guide her to friends who will help her in her journey.They will validate what inner struggles Inquirer has and help her to find the acceptance that she is seeking for her mind body and spirit(because your health has been a huge challenge according to Josh). With that inquirer will come the beginnings of a new life for you.
I will not make this an issue that needs validated by any one other then Inquirer because it is her journey.Josh has included a few things that are personal in my writings that were sent as validation for his mother and her alone understands them.I will not argue this point with you because it detracts from what I was asked to do by Josh.He loves his mother very much and wants to see her continue with her life lessons and journey in this world,,Josh wants his mother to find the true joy and love that comes from with in.And to do that he knows inquirer, you must find it,,,, as you find your way through the challenges Josh's death have brought you.
Your a strong woman, I can offer support and guidance as can others at the pos site to help you find your way to healing and finding who the new you has become since the loss of Josh.I do not believe you to be bitter nor hard.Your son says you are a very loving giving woman who was knocked a hard life.We just need to get you tuned back in..
MTW thats nice of you to help her. Inquirer my heart goes out to you and your family. What a devestating loss I would be asking questions too. Manifest dreams while your opinion is valid there are crooks out there I see no reason that mtw would have to lie about this. Just be careful where you place your views because this woman has the right to be relieved of her pain and move on. I realize you are only trying to be helpful but if what mtw says to this woman helps her through her pain then why are you trying so hard to discredit her? Let her choose for herself what rings true in her heart as this is a horrible tragedy.
I just gave her some info so she could make an informed decision about what to believe. I don't feel the need to discredit anyone, but I wouldn't be able to sleep at night if I didn't put this out there. Now, if Inquirer doesn't feel that she needs any further confirmation, before putting this to rest, that is up to her. I certainly am not going to try to talk her into anything. I gave her my opinion to help her.
After several days to contemplate what you both had to say, I have to say, I am more confused than ever, as I realized (too late) that I put too much information out to get a TRUE reading!
Yes, the reading I got first, made me cry and be horribly sad, but after reading your insight, I realized that all of the facts did not come through 'mytwistedworld', and all that she did say is on the website about Joshua.
So, if you can really hear/feel/talk to Josh, please give more details, so I can judge for myself, the real facts.
And to ManifestDreams, thank you for opening my eyes enough to explore the reading.
Thank you for responding back Inquirer. I was worried about you. I knew what I had to say wouldn't make me popular on here, but I felt in my heart that it was the right thing to do. I am really hoping that MTW can give you some more details that could put your mind at rest. If not, don't lose heart. I know that it is possible for a good medium to communicate with our loved ones that have passed on. You just have be careful that you're not feeding them information. I don't have anything against MTW. I would have questioned anyone's reading because of the circumstances.
I'll be praying for you.
I just looked this up on the net. Mrs. robinson I am truley so sorry for you...I feel you have a VERY good reason to question what really happened to josh...keep fighting if you are able...you must. and try a medium...say nothing. I will pray for you too.
I read the information you posted on crimewatch and the other sights, and I am so sorry for your loss. You know you can send a congressional to your representatives stating everything that you went through, and someone will get back in touch with you they have a certain amount of time that they have to respond. Keep pressing forward, and if you need to go outside of your county to push buttons, do so. Did you contact the Attorney General, the Governor, etc. Is there anything that we can do as citizens to help with your cause? I am a resident of Texas, however am currently in another country attending school. Contact anyone you can possibly contact outside of your local government. My prayers are with you.
I echo the sympathies offered, and hope this will help you find the closure you need.
I get the sense he was out running and made a surprise turn to confront someone who did not wish to be witnessed. He was killed because he saw something he was not supposed to have seen. I'm also picking up vibrations that the term "mugging" occurred after his death.
Some people on this earth have sick minds. At times, when they come across a user of certain types of drugs, they will purposely give an overdose in an underhanded manner. This is the sense I am getting.
When there is not enough evidence available to charge a murderer, some cases are closed before thorough examination has taken place. If there is a reasonable doubt, you are within your rights to request his grave be exhumed and have the medical examiner do an autopsy, if this has not already been performed.
You should seek counsel on how to go about doing this, if you feel it needs to be done. Many deaths are often labeled suicide and are not. Only a medical examiner is able to intervene at this point.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Normally, when I answer questions on this forum, I do not read any answers until after I have made a reply. Tonight, I went back and read some of the comments, and it makes sense.
He did not know and never suspected any foul play.
Over the last 3+ years, I have consulted several psychics, and they all differ somewhat. One of the first I contacted, told me that Josh wasn't suppose to die and it was not by his own hand. She also told me that Josh is around me all the time.
Another told me that the police department was involved, and obviously, know more than they are willing to admit.
What do you mean by 'mugging'?
I am anxiously awaiting for more details that were NOT mentioned in the website and all over the Internet.
Yes, I have contacted every local/state/federal entity, to no avail!
To have his body exhumed and reautopsied would take an act of Congress, at this point.........and more money than I could possibly gather. No attorney is willing to take this case, as one told me that taking on a PD requires watching 'your own back', as the PD have been known to retaliate.
I appreciate all of the input.
I hold on to my belief that my son would not take his own life!
He died. How he died is how he died. But he died. The issue here is not how he died. He is dead. I understand you need closure. But that is the closure. Let go of any guilt that you might feel. Let go of any emotionall attempts to get him back.
Trust that your son is alive in his soul. Together with heavens angels. Trust that he is fine. Surrender your son to the creator who loves him. Surrender your son to set him free. Surrender your son to the Allmighty. Trust that the Allmighty is taking care of your son. That is the issue. That is the challenge. That is your challenge.
Wow, are you Tarot readers talking about me??