TarotNick- A reading please
I'm currently going through an emotional rollercoaster and an identity crisis. For so long I've been avoiding what the universe was telling me to do, I got real sick and docs couldn't find anything. For many years I've been feeling this calling that I don't really know what it is. And coz I'm married and was trying to save my marriage I chose not to hear it and I completely lost my identity, my happiness.
Recently I stop fighting it and let the universe show me the way but I'm so afraid coz from what was sent to me was that I need to end my marriage if I want to search for this, plus I wasn't feeling love for anyone, and fear kept holding me back.
Someone showed up in my life and open a small door by introducing me to a girl that can take me to this place I've been seeing in meditation and on top this man woke me for love again. But coz I'm not available and we both hate lies and deceived last night we decided to be just friends.
And it's not going to be easy coz we work together and he doesn't want to loose my friendship to be honest I don't want it too but I'm hurt and disappointed with myself for letting this to happen when I had made the decision of walking my path alone and fail by letting my heart lead the way apparently in the wrong way.
I'm telling you all this coz I know we pick things and they don't make sense, and what I'm asking is for some light a different perspective about my crazy Life.
This is what I picked up off your feelings,
you have a lot of energy and can use it for the positive, but there are swings where you go the other way...need to keep an eye on the swings...
you took a breath and were trying to contemplate what to do, you will be ready for what comes
figure out what is important to you, once you make a decision no one is going to persuade you, not even yourself, you are going to lock in...so plan well
reading feeling switches on this card, a young person, good talker and listener, feels like a smile
What you want is available
You will get what you want but at a cost, be open to others feelings not just your own
you will relax, the fear subsides
there is a need to detail and attention to family needs
A woman who is only thinking of her needs
there is a gain or success but not lasting
There is fighting and tears ahead
Hope that helps,
(ok this is from me not the reading, as you know marriage is all about communication. It has to be two sided but that doesn't mean you have to sacrifice yourself, you can grow and still be married. I don't know your situation...that is my experience which is why I am not putting this in the reading. Friendship is ok, I have woman friends that I wouldn't think of anything happening other than friends. The same concept with guy friends...I definitely wouldn't think of being intimate but that doesn't stop me from being close friends...hahaha A friend is a friend.I have picked different types of friends because I have different aspects of my personality. Some of them don't mix at all, but separately I have different interests so each one is different. something to think about...not everything is black and white nor does it have to be. Share and communicate)
Thank you tnick, what you picked made me feel a bit confused and some I already saw it coming.
All my life I never took a time for myself, always did what was expected of me, I'm a giver by nature and by doing that I pushed away friends to be able to succeed in my marriage. We become 1 instead of continuing to be each one in the marriage. My husband never supported my dreams, never supported my spiritual side. And because of him I pushed away and become very ill, almost dying, nothing would come out in the doc. Exams, it was like she's insane. This year all came back again, stronger then before and I feel I need to pursue it or I will get I'll again. But for doing this I feel I need to be alone and find myself again to be able to balance my life. I never wanted another man. What happens is that the universe keeps sending all this signals and placing people in my life to make me follow this path, this man included. I just don't do it because of my family and my husband but I'm very exhausted to a point that I'm tired of living.
You said that my swings float and this it's because I'm not happy. You also mention a woman thinking about her needs(this is me?) What gain are you seeing that will be temporary?
My fear resides in loosing something my marriage which is a good one but for so many years incomplete, we are just friends, living like siblings, he can't give me kids and this also destroyed us.
I treasure friendship like you I have friends but my hubby doesn't allow me to be with them, doesn't allow me time alone, his always with me, with my friends I'm my old self, fun, alive, when he's around I become different.
I've been trying for years to love him again and been faithful but the need to feel love was more strong and I allowed myself to be held and kissed by another man but it's not right. I did an induced meditation where she ask us to see what we loved unconditionally, for 10 Mrs I saw nothing, start crying my eyes out, not even me I was seeing and finally I saw my angel grabbing me from the back making me face a mirror the love I felt was overwhelming, pure.
As you can see I'm in a mess.
Thanks for your aside input
I hear your anguish, I don't know if that woman was you. I just know the feeling I got. It is something to look for and you will know when the time comes. If it is you than it is saying to stop and look at what your decisions are doing not to just yourself but others or you may run into someone who is only looking at her and is plowing through you... you will know. The gains could be what ever decision you make work out for a while but is not long lasting. The feelings I pick up are guides for what can be, not what has to be because you have free will and will make your choices which can change the outcome. So you can change what ever it is you like. What I hope out of the readings are I make people stop and think...there may be more than one road to complete my task... or I am on the right road...the road you choose is yours to take... the readings are here are some things to think about...sometimes forewarning...and sometimes just have an idea of what your thoughts are to make you think.