I'm not living life



  • Hi folks,

    I was born 1/15/1995 and grew up in a toxic environment with very religious and toxic parents who filled me in with horrible beliefs about myself. I know it's unhealthy, but I constantly daydream about having had different parents. Because of my severe anxiety, I am doing nothing with my life. No work, school, no friends. I can't be around people without feeling intensely uncomfortable and whenever I interact with someone, it always feels awkward.

    I am just so lost and I need guidance. Thanks



  • Hi IntuitiveFolk,

    Here is a reading for you, it will pick up on your feelings. Hopefully to help you see what is around you and at the end I will add my own input.

    Use your intuition or gut feeling, someone is being sneaky around you...if you think about it trust your own thoughts.

    Your feeling dependent on others but you know something is not right

    There is stuff going around you, I don't think it is your doing but you are being pulled like a leaf in a world-pool it just gets sucked in

    You feel lost and lonely

    There is a guy who is not telling the truth, its all about him and his needs

    You have a struggle ahead of you, but it is up to you to want it. You can make it happen but it will take a ton of work...work Hard at it, don't give in to despair.

    You have a skill that will help you with money, seek it out

    You do find something but it is not lasting for the money

    Take a breath, calm yourself and in that you will be able to handle your struggles...if you put force behind your thoughts you will be ok, it won't be easy but if you work hard you will be fine

    To back up that thought you have the ability to make things happen, if you will it...think it through and trust yourself...you have the ability to make what you want

    If you do that you will be able to start with a small smile, I put one foot in front of the other, baby steps and I made something good for myself, start with a small achievement and that will give you courage to do the next step.

    ok my thoughts,

    You are not in a happy place right now, the good news is I saw a ray of sunshine trying to pierce the gloom. You need to trust your heart and head and figure out what the truth is...believe in yourself, you can do it. The good thing about being older it is up to you now to lead your life. If you feel things are bad you can change them. If you want you can break the chains that bind you, You can, no one can stop you. You can stop yourself but the road is open to your choices and the best thing is your free will and choices are yours to make. So if the past was bad you have a barometer to know what was bad and then turn it for the good.

    Hope that helps,

    Nick



  • Bump



  • Bright spot: at least you realize that your bad feelings were put into you by other people (parents). That is the first step in healing. Often, people just go around believing all the bad things about themselves must be true just because it is in their head. Now you just have to toss the 'other people's garbage' away. You cannot change the past but you can sure make yourself a better future. There's a saying that goes "should you find yourself the victim of other people's bitterness, jealousy, lies and insecurities, don't get mad. Remember, things could be worse - you could be them."



  • Bump!



  • Thank you. I guess the big question is: How does one dump those things away?



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  • By understanding that the nasty words were not about you, but about your parents and how they felt so bad about themselves and their lives that they wanted to make others feel the pain too. But hurting others never works to make you feel any better. Quite the opposite!



  • I do understand that but I do feel so horrible all the time; I don't live life, I just escape on the computer. Life just feels so dreadful to me.



  • What are your goals? You need to find your passion in life.



  • PS You don't need to rely on others for praise and recognition in order to achieve what you want. You just have to believe in yourself..



  • Here is a share, when I was younger I didn't do well at school. I was told to stop trying because you really aren't that smart like the others. Just give up and accept it. Take a guess who said that...one of my parents, so what did I do? at first I gave up and went to work. That statement burned inside me, I wouldn't let that sit...I could have and took the easy road and just be a manual worker. There is nothing wrong with that because I did enjoy what I did. There was satisfaction in accomplishing what I was doing, but it wasn't enough for me. Looking back at that statement knowing what I know now was his hurt. He felt hurt or related his thoughts on learning because he didn't go after his dreams or when he did he passed but he was so stressful that it ate him up and he ended up quitting. He tried passing that onto me because of his failures. His failures are not mine (I have my own...hahaha) that is a different story. So I made what I wanted and I have accomplishments by working hard. I wanted something and I went for it, did I trip along the way, of course...face plants hurt...but you get back up and keep going. Looking even further I know I set my girls on the road to success. I tell them they can do anything...and they are... What more does that say in itself... If you want it go get it...Dream and make it happen, go make your own mistakes... and learn from them.

    Nick



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