Help with a cancer man
My cancer man and I (a scorpio woman) met about 10 months ago. The chemistry was immediate and within a couple days we were inseparable, head over heels, both feeling like we were incredibly lucky to have found each other. We stayed this way for six months or so, getting closer and closer every day, he told me he loved me more and more everyday...
Then one day something happened. He had this pain in his neck that wouldn't go away, we went to the doctor, but they found nothing. Then he started waking up in the middle of the night with what turned out to be panic attacks. He started to fall into depression and slowly withdraw from what he used to be. He stopped talking to his friends, stopped leaving the house, and didn't seem to want to do anything but lay down. I tried to help, I tried to understand, but we started fighting and eventually, about a month ago, we had a huge argument and he told me he need a break. He needed to be alone for awhile.
I was devastated. He wouldn't talk to me, couldn't tell me if he loved me or not, couldn't tell me if he wanted to break up or not, he didn't want to talk about anything serious. I sent him a long message telling him i realized he was sick, depressed, and that I would wait for him to come out of it. That I loved him and I knew he wasn't himself.
A week later we met again, he looked terrible but came around by the end of our conversation, but still would say nothing about being together. I waited and waited but I was feeling worse and worse, like he had control of my emotions and there was nothing I could do to help myself. So I made a rash decision, I went to visit an old boyfriend of mine in the city where he lives for five days. I bought my ticket, and felt confident about my decision.
Then he called and seemed to be his old self again, telling me I was an angel and of course we would be back together. We met the next day and ended up spending the next two days together, talking about how things could be different. But I went on the trip anyway, still needing to do something for myself. When I came back we met, but something was different, there was a wall between us. I told him I was in love with him and he said he could never feel that strongly about anyone, so I left him.
A week later we met again (at his request) and I told him everything. About where I had been and how I felt, and he told me how he had been scared throughout our whole relationship because he thought I still loved this other man. I didn't. I loved my cancer, truly. This felt like the first time we were both completely open and honest about how we felt, we spent the night together, but the next morning both felt terrible and he left me.
I sent him a message the next day telling him that I didn't want to break up. I wanted to work on things and build a more open and understanding relationship than we had before. He called tonight and seemed willing to talk about it. So we did, I told him everything about how I felt, but he is skeptical about this guy (though he says he trusts me now) but says that he has a bad feeling about getting back together. He doesn't think its the right thing to do. While I'm sitting here imagining that we could be so much closer after all this.
I'm so sad, really. I love him so much. I don't know what to do. I feel like he doesn't believe that I really care, I don't know. Please, someone help? Should I wait longer? Should I contact him again? Or is he trying to gently get away from me? I'm so confused, thanks ahead of time and so sorry about the length.
How old are the 2 of you? I have known and loved a lot of Cancers, family, friends and boyfriends. They are my closest relationships, hard work, but well worth it. I am a Scorpio, the Cancer's closest ally. Doesn't mean it's easy.
Sounds like he's got something going in, but it's easier to put a spin on it and make it your fault. I'm not just saying this, I have seen plenty of them in action. Storytelling is their forte.
There are a couple of cancer man and he is confusing threads here you may wish to join. Your story sounds just a little different than the rest. You should check them out. Like the last 5 or 20 pages of each. It might help.
Hello, thanks so much for your reply. He's 31 and I'm 24. I've gotten to a point now that I can't talk to any of my friends about it anymore, they're tired of hearing it and think I should throw in the towel, I just can't get over the feeling in my gut telling me that this was something. I've read the threads, its tough because a lot of them are incredibly negative. I suppose I need the truth, maybe i don't want to accept that this is another negative situation.
I'm up for hard work, I feel like the best things come from a bit of a struggle, he just doesn't seem to see things the same way.
I'll take another look at these threads, thank you again
Hey there, you posted on my thread "why it is difficult to date a cancer"..there are few people here who can really give you some good insight about cancer men..i found it very usefull as i was dealing with a cancer guy. So dont forget to stop by the thread and check what they have to say about your situation. Hope to see you there soon.
baa9192. Just read your story, and I feel for you , May I suggest you pop over to my thread. "Have I lost my cancer b/f for good " You will get very good advice and support on there, I did , and Sandran712 is an expert on cancers .
Since there are so many of us on here with this subject in common, we are communicating in other ways as well, readings and such. If you like you may write to me at