Right back to where I was three weeks ago

  • So I have had multiple readings in regards to my ex and our relationship. Something happened today and it hurt. I was expecting it but it hurt none the less. Last night I went to bed and all throughout the night in my dreams dark shadows were chasing me. I went to go pick up my nephew on saturday night and I kept seeing dark shadows following me. In my dreams I am trying to tell them leave me alone but I cant speak. Now this happens today and I feel just like I felt the day we broke up. How is it fair that he gets to be happy go back to her and not be bothered by the fact that he hurt me, and I am here miserable, broken hearted and lost. Cris and another psychic told me his reconciliation with his ex will not last but I just dont know what to believe anymore. At this point I don't think I want him back but why does he get to be happy and I don't. I was happy before him and now I just feel empty and I am pissed

  • Hi, He probably knows how you feel about him so that makes this all the more copious. Put a timeframe on how long it's healthy to think about him. This has happened to most people so you are not alone in that regard. I think you feel really alone. Reach out to others. I feel when you reach out or go outside your grief, you'll start feeling better. It's really good advice not to mess w/someone like this. In my experience, it'll probably happen again. Do you really want to take (another) chance w/him. You'll be happy once you realize that he's the one with the negative energy, so to speak. It's his NEGATIVITY that's affecting you. You may think I'm odd for asking but did you by any chance have a miscarriage w/him. Forgive me if I'm wrong--just crossed my mind.

  • No I never had a miscarriage. Its not that I want him back i want him to acknowledge how much he has hurt me and that he lied to me. and I do not want him to be happy just as much as he hurt me and I lay in bed and cry I want him to be just as miserable

  • You know, there's all kinds of ways to do the wrong thing. He did the wrong thing. You do the right thing and keep doing the right thing. These things happen. I would start today as a new day and get him off your mind. You did the right thing, you cared for him. This is HIS problem. I wish I could offer more but this is not your fault so don't hang onto it. He's a coward by his actions.

  • Thank you but this all doesnt take away from the fact that I am hurt and humiliated and just crushed. I feel like we were so happy and it meant nothing. I am just tired of feeling like this. And through all of this I still miss him and I still love him and it just hurts to know someone who loved and cared for you and did everything for you can just turn it off and just crush me like this

  • Hi jungletbunny, You poor thing , I can hear your pain, just let it out , of course it hurts, I went through this with my ex -husband One day he was loving and the next thing I knew he wanted to move out after 15 yrs I was like you very crushed,and did not know what to do with my feelings it was very painful for a while, I prayed, I meditated , and I started to paint just to change my mind. Then I started to write poetry some of it had a lot of anger ..but doing that helped. I want you to know that over time I started to see him for what he was and I was amazed at how I began to look at it as a blessing. I still talk to him I see him occasionally as he moved 2 blocks away. That was the hardest for me at the time. But when I look at him now I just can laugh as i realize how little we really had in common & WHAT THE HECK DID I SEE IN HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE . Believe me you too will come to that. We are all rooting for you here, cry if you must , let it out. and your life will change for the better. I will be thinking of you ........... LEONIDA P.S. OH he is very unhappy with his life these days ... AND THERES NOTHING I CAN DO , YOU SEE I HAVE MET SOMEONE ELSE AND HE IS ALONE AND HE HAS HAD 3 RELATIONSHIPS, & NONE HAVE WORKED FOR HIM..... YOU know that old saying what goes around comes around.

  • Maybe i overacted. Today my things arrived from his house. It hurt. Although I was expepcting them it hurt. I asked him to send them. It just seems that he is a completely different person from the man I knew, but at the same time so familiar. I still miss him everyday. He didn't even put his name on the boxes in my eyes that is something only a coward would make. It hurts because these are things I left at his place because he asked me to. I never wanted to leave things there. I redecorated rooms in his house. And this is his attempt to erase me out of his life to make room for the same woman who just packed up one day and walked out on him. He came home one day and she was gone and nothing for months. Yet she walks back into his life and he drops me and runs right back to her. I understand everyone will say "oh well he wasn't for you", " oh you are better off without him", and things like that but this has affected me far deeper than the end of any relationship I have had in the past. I don't understand how can he wake up in the morning and feel good about himself? How can he be happy with her while I am at home sad and heartbroken, where is Karma when you need it?

  • JB,

    I now understand your pain. It is not ever a good feeling, when you feel like you have been replaced. Nobody can tell you how long it takes to get over that feeling, I know it took me a long long long time, and to be honest with you, that song Sun shiny day..LOL I think that is the name of it rings in my head all the time.....it goes like this... I CAN SEE CLEARLY NOW THE RAIN HAS GONE, I CAN SEE ALL OBSTACLES IN MY WAY, GONE ALL THE DARK CLOUDS THAT HAD ME BLIND, ITS GONNA BE A BRIGHT, BRIGHT, BRIGHT SUN SHINY DAY. LOOK ALL AROUND THERE'S NOTHING BUT BLUE SKIES, ETC.

    There is nothing anybody can tell you, that will make your heart feel lighter, or nothing anybody can tell you, that will make you see the future, only time and working on you. It is not easy. But the lessons you can learn are wonderful.

    I use to wonder the same thing, about my ex husband, but when I started concentrating on me, things got better. And believe karma will come back around. Maybe, he doesn't quite know how this has affected you. And how can you be so certain he is happy? my heart hurts for you my dear, for I know how you must feel. I have been there. I will be sending you prayers. Take care of yourself.

  • He knows how much this hurt. I told him today . He was so distant it was just painful. I dont know if he is happy or not but I know I am not. And this is all so much bigger than him. Everytime I let my guard down with a man it turns out just like this. I am just so hurt and disappointed. I wish things didnt turn out like this

  • JB,

    I know this may sound funny, but considering what you just said everytime you let your guard down with men it turns out like this, what signs did you feel before you let your guard down? Please if you can get that book I told you about. That book is so unbelievably helpful. I have read that book cover to cover 5 times and each time I learn more about things and myself, and it has helped in my circumstances. I have met men that any woman would be happy to know, or want, and just me being so in tune with myself, these men could never touch me with a stick. I listened to my gut instinct and so glad I did. I believe you when you say he was distant, and the reason why he was distant is because, he really does not want to hear how HE could hurt someone. It hurts his ego. And believe me the more he knows this, the more distant and hurtful he will become. Til this day, if I bring up the pain that my ex causes me, it only creates more tension, and it is because he does not want to be responsible for causing pain for another human being. He is too concerned about himself. It is much bigger than him, because you are so much more bigger than him. You have your guard up for a reason, listen to your soul.

    When I met my friend, I didn't have a guard up, I felt so comfortable with him. However, other men, like I said if I don't get the vibe, I don't even let them near me.

  • This reminds me of the old saying : I won't feel better til you feel worse. Believe me when I say the most hurtful thing you can do to someone is forget about them... try it you'll see he'lll be just as miserable as you when he doen't have you to kick around anymore

  • Dejasmum I guess I should rephrase what I said. There was never a guard there from day one I felt safe. We never had a problem until the day we broke up, NEVER. It was just one day he was madly in love and then 24 hours later he was not. That is what is also so painful there was no warning no indication no nothing

  • Wow, damn baby, I really wish I knew what to tell you. Do you have a deep connection to him? He could be scared of the feelings he has for you, not sure, you have had readings in the past and what did they tell you?

  • The readings said we were a good match with a very strong connection. I guess they were wrong because he went back to his ex. We had fun doing nothing. He encouraged me to become a bigger part of his life. The last reading I had says she sees us being able to work things out down the road but obviously that isnt going to happen. We had amazing chemistry from day one. So I was just blindsided by this

  • I understand what you are saying, I have this deep connection with my friend, he knows it, but can not gather the strength and courage to go with it. There is a book called, "when two souls connect, by Steve Gunn. I had to find something, because I did not understand this roller coaster ride I was on, it scared me, for I had never felt such a deep connection to someone before, and it had this overwhelming effect on me. But in the book Steve talks about sometimes people get this fear of the connection and they run. But will be back, because the pull and connection is deeper and stronger than what they want to acknowledge. When I understood what he was talking about, it gave me the strength to let mine go. I could not take it any longer. The connection is still there, but now that I understand that he needs to work through his own karma, helped me to decide it was time. I could not live through the emotional pain anymore.

    Mine and I met 2 and 1/2 years ago online, and when I moved here for graduate school we finally met in person. Oh my goodness if the connection and attraction was ever so strong, but I have a strong morals and could never do anything to hurt someone else, and he, a very good man. After he left the first time, I went through something that took me back, it was almost like a grieving process, we would talk, but the feelings that we had for each other scared him, and I, and he would back off, until he was strong enough to handle it, until the next time, and the last time he was here really really scared him. I did not hear from him for days, weeks, and oh my god did I freak out, because all these negative feelings about myself kept creeping up. And at times I could feel him so close, but hear nothing. At times I could feel his confusion, the times when I felt him and is wife were fighting, etc. It was unbelievable so that is when I got the book, cause I had never felt nothing like that before. But anyway.....he would pop in and out, and finally I had to say enough is enough. For some reason, the runners, need you in their life, they will find every means to keep in contact, Steve calls this the dance..but they will be back. It is up to you at that time to decide what you want and if he cannot give it to you, then let him go....You know the connection is there, it won't die. But in the meantime, work on you. I totally understand what you are talking about, because my friend just from being in my life helped me to become a better person, and pull things out of me that I had suppressed many years. I have no regrets, he taught me the true meaning of unconditional love. It has been 1 month since we last talked, and I still feel really good about my decision. I miss him, and yes I still feel his presence, and can feel when he is thinking about me, and even sometimes I feel the pull of my heart, but I have to do what is right for me. Just because he went back to her, does not mean anything, maybe they had some unfinished karma that he needed to work out with her. Just be strong and keep your head up. Hope this helped.

  • Thank you In the readings I had i was told that the karma was complete but neither of them was aware of it or that neither realizes they were on the same karmic path. I know he thinks about me. I could feel that he mailed my things out of saturday just like i woke up this morning knowing they would arrive. Honestly I do not feel as if he is happy. If anything I feel more contentment from being with his ex she is safe and comfortable. I don't think he is scared of our connection. I am not sure what happened, I honestly believe he loved me as much as he said he did. I sometimes believe he will be back but ultimately I do not know. He was the first man I was able to see a future with. The last reading i had she said she saw us being able to work our issues out and she honestly saw us together in the future. Sometimes I wonder if the circumstances of the situation with him and the readers personal opinion clouds the reading. I just wish I knew what would happen. I can't even say if he came back I would take him back but for now I feel like there is a big hole in my life and in my heart hopefully one day I will be able to fix it.

  • Sweetie, just for now, try to gain the strength to not look into things, we as human beings think to damn much for our own good. I have never gotten a reading on my situation, but all in every fiber in my being, I feel that he is not happy either, and do believe one day we will be able to carry on, but right now I have to live and be happy. Can I ask that you quit concentrating on the negative and just give your prayer to the universe. Know in your heart that you gave your 100 percent and be grateful that you had that special feeling. You don't know what the future has in store for you, but you cannot keep beating yourself up about either. As women we love hard, and men love just as hard, but it is so much easier for them to love the one their with than to be with the one they truly love. The contentment or familiarity is so soothing and comfortable for them. Just like in the case with my ex, if I would have never left, we would still be married. He wasn't happy, but he would have never left. Having his cake and eating it to was just what he wanted. Men are less flexible than we are. Less in tune with themselves, and less likely to listen to their heart.

  • the day we broke up he said to me I am probably making the biggest mistake of my life but this is where I am at right now. I am trying to focus on me and put this behind me but its so hard to do that when my heart is still with him . Thank you you have been very helpful

  • Hi, Sometimes the ex is still in the picture meaning the ex still has some sort of contact. Many times the ex gets jealous when they hear of a new love (you.) I'm willing to bet this plays into the whole scenario. It may be more of an issue of his ex not being able to let go. I don't know how long they were together. My dad would always tell me that if a person was recently broke-up there was a good chance of reconciling especially if they were married. Also, there are probably issues w/him that he may feel guilty over that caused their break-up. I'm just giving you some things to consider. Anyway, this is a situation that was brought on you, not the other way around. Consider it just a really bad experience and a hard lesson. There is probably something to learn from it.

  • not an expert in tarot or psychic reading, but the way I see it everything that happens, happens for a reason. the universe throws you all this mess for you to learn something from it. Take some time on your own and analyze the situation. You, your ex and anyone involved. Go inward and ask yourself 'is he the one? is he worth fighting for?' the first answer your heart gives, is the right answer.

    psychic readings can help but only your heart knows the true answer. You were confused enough to get this and that reading, didn't that tell you something? that deep inside you were not sure your position in his life? what happened now could be just a confirmation/culmination of what your heart has been trying to tell you. if he loves you, why would you need reading? if he loves you, why would he choose his ex or send you your things? maybe he is in some kind of trouble, but this is his trouble, isn't it? he should stand up and sort it out. you have your own life to sort out right now. you need to attend to it.

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