Cancer guy - how do i handle this?

  • I've been playing the cancer man game for ummm lets see about 5 years, hell I dont keep track anymore. If a cancer man truly loves you then he will ALWAYS come back, it may be weeks or months but he'll come crawling back.

    If you keep trying to contact him, text, email, whatever etc, the more unlikely youll get the response you want.

    If you play it cool, ignore him, and act like you dont really give a shit the better chances that he will blow up your phone with text messages and the like.

    Push him away and he'll beg for more.

    Put him on a pedestal and he'll push YOU away.

    Theres really no clear cut answer with these guys. If I could find one I would gladly give it to you. The best thing to do is go about living your own life and DO NOT let your mind become so enveloped and obsessed with him. They want what they cannot have and once they get it they lose interest.

  • I agree Jukalocka. Sometimes I feel like I have to be the one to make contact, once in while becuase relationships are give n take. Called mine today bc last week he ignored my text. It was like he was waiting to see if I cared enough. he answered right away & was happy to hear from me.,Now its his turn. We shall see.... Although I get aggrivated and impatient sometimes I have to admit I am intruiged by the rollercoaster ride. Would never put my life on hold though I keep going and living life without him the best I can. But when I get impatient for a little contact I go ahead and make the move, right or wrong. If hes not wanting to talk that day he simply doesnt. And after seeing some pretty dark moods I think I am okay with that. ( : Here we go agin with the phone games. WEEEEEEE LOL

  • Speakkin of the devil. Right after I posted this he called me back and truly I have no will power. But I was glad I answered because we were laughing our aces off about kids halloween costumes and blah blah blah...weeeeee

  • Sometimes i wonder why we are doing this to ourselves. If it was any other man treating me like this, i would have walked away long away and never even think to give him another chance. Why should it be different with this one.

    I have eventually replied to his message last night. Will see if he is going to reply or not. THis time i'm not much bothered about that. If he does, great..... if not, my life will not come to a standstill again. I'm thankful that he made contact out of his own, no matter what his intentions is/was.

    That helped me to regain my self. What will be, will be.

    Love and light

  • Well Taureen i got up my balls n called mine, n the girl picking up when she heard my voice was like oh her why doesnt he reply himself or call her. this is getting old.

    I sense he awaits a CERTAIN message from me WHICH he will get today no matter what. Either through the nice lady, or machinemessage. N THEN ill wait bc fuck if im gonna be the one playing denist. anyhews on the OTHER friend of mine i got him to call me next time, so the next call is his to me heheheheheheh I think i surprised him but he agreed which is so great. When he hears its meh is like a giddy happy kid on xmaseve seeing all these presents n wishes aww r they ALL for ME!!!! LMAO

    so im fdoing the poking thing n at the same time taking care of ME!!! so i´d say right now it may look yoyoland BUT its not. its a me n me land, me , i n meself land lol A total WIN WIN scene.

    ok i wont bore ya now lol

  • Bente,

    You don't bore me at all. I am glad for all the friends i have made on here. One way or the other we were in the same boat once. I do appreciate each and every one of you.

    At a stage when i was on a low, i've been picked up by you guys with words of comfort, advise and understanding. You welcome to write whatever is in your heart.

  • Awe taurenngirl what you said just about made me cry. i feel teh same. Its nice to have the support isnt it? I am glad that I had contact with im yesterday. I think its gonna be awhile before we talk again but Im okay with that. I have been pretty happy just havin him as my friend right now. And at this same time last year we were so angry with each other I am glad we are back to laughing and having fun like it was before. Except without the pressures of being obligated to each other. He will be my friend for life. We have had ups and downs just like any other friendship and we have grown through it all. I can see now that we have a solid friendship and that means more to me than having a boyfriend anyday. I am still glowing from our conversation yesterday. That is true friendship when we can lift each others spirits like that. That is truly all I needed now all is well in my world again. I needed confirmation that he still cared and we still understand each other. Bente you just keep doing what your doing lady, you have the right to express your feelings and its his choice if he wants to acknowledge them.

    We are awesome women. HEAR US ROAR! Lmao!!!

  • hi, i just started a relationship with a cancer man and he`s 29 and wonderful i am falling hard for him ..... i was married to a leo for 16 teen years and thats what u call a hell i tell u but i love my cancer guy....

  • Cancer men are great for helping you find healing when you have been on a rough road. I love them too. They are wonderful when they arent p issing me off!!! LOL

  • Well taureen n lovinmylife, im kinda grrr at my cancer aquaintance now.

    i called again, n ye i KNOOOOOOW, n this time he gets 7 days, if nada till sat next week is he a permanent adios bye bye loghead!!!!

    dangnation if i the bleeping bleep know if cancer is the one, so far he has been quiet n well after trying on phone im soon saying k ENOIGH already n cut my losses.

    libra man has been very nice friendly n warm, loving even, n ive found the more we talk the more we have in common n its so greeeaaattt !!!!

    so as far as return contact n goodwill he wins lol

    catch u gals later

  • Hey Bente, focus on the guy thats appreciating you, and give the other one a rest for now, he is only upsetting you and I know that feeling all to well. You know your limits with your cancer guy so go ahead honey and stand your ground. LOGHEAD! HA! I love it.

  • Hey lovinmylife, i knew u would love the loghead remark lol''

    yes i am gonna appeciate n go ahead with the guy that does love me so much bc there is NO doubt thát he does.

    on cancer guy well no calls till sat next week, n when that day comes n he no been in any contact i AINT, i repeat, i AINT gonna call or connect EVER again!

    the ball is in HIS court, NOT mine lol

    we´ll see if he has balls at all, libra man sure has em, plenty too LMAO

  • YOU GO GIRL!!!!!

  • Hello all. Taureengirl, Okay, heres my prospective! I was reading where you were talking about the complexities of your life than and now. I feel that you still have a lot of hurt from the marriage. Your husband lied to you and build distrust in you, made you doubt your ability to judge. It's perfectly understandable and, not your fault. I don't think he intentionally set out to hurt you. I think he's had a lot of issues in figuring out himself too. You just got caught in the crossfire. Because of where you were mentally, you sabotaged your relationship back then. We all do it. Welcome to the human race! Don't beat yourself up about it, learn from it. You know as a Taurus, your loyal, even if that other person doesn't deserve it. That's why you had the conflict. Knowing your capable of that kind of loyalty is a good thing to learn about yourself. I read other women's advice and they were saying to leave him alone but, you and I know your not going to. It's not that easy. You've had guys from your past, that have recontacted you before but, with them, you didn't have feelings anymore..or the feeling was one of disgust!! So, why torture yourself with playing games about "should I call him? , I just called him 2 days ago and he hasn't called me, why won't he call me?" Text or call him if you want to. Just dont EXPECT an answer, be surprised and happy if you do!! Did you ask a direct question? and I don't mean "how are you or why haven't you called me??!!" I'd ignore that stuff too. If i don't ask a direct question, it still can be 4 days before I get an answer from mine. I know he reads every one of them. Sometimes I get my answer, 4days later, in person!! I know, most women wouldn't stand for that but, I'm not one for idle chatter on the phone. I have a hard time talking on the phone, I rather see the person. Most MEN are like that too. So, I'm perfectly FINE with it. I'm not saying there isn't times where he text me all day long just cuz he wants me to know what's going on, plus he misses me. I also can text him all day long if I miss him too. Cancers and Scorps run hot and cold. Not consistent with our affections. Me and mine have been together for 8 months. I made a reference to it in a text, last week.. He gave me a gift card and we had lunch at his house day before the date. I didn't get him squat!! No I'm not mad at him, it just wasn't an important milestone to me. When we hit a year, I will. We have never said "I love you" to each other. We to give each other heartfelt compliments, we trust each other and will go out of our way for each other. I don't take him for granted and he doesn't take me for granted either. My birthday is in 2 weeks and, yes, I do expect something! He knows I'm making his favorite cookies next week! We are both conditioned to think badly about that statement of "I love you" every man that has told me that, has hurt me and every woman thats told him, has done the same!

    Ok, what your looking for is a magic way to make it right between you and your guy. There isn't one. It will take time. Don't think of him as a guy. Think of him as a person that you value his friendship.. We are much more tolerant of friends then we are of people we think we have a future with. Do you read things into the emails your friends send you or, do you just read them? Guys are pretty basic thinkers. Women put wayyy too much thought into things. We make our own drama when there really isn't any! Do you wonder what a friend might think if you text her more then once before she responded? and we all know what the man's response is when he finally does respond, he's been very busy and, he probably was!! Women worry needlessly. Guys are big boys and they managed to get to their age without us. The hardest thing is being patient. It's not the destination that's important, it's the journey. It's what you learn and learn to value along the way, that will define your relationship in the end.

  • 2knowme, I appreciate your input, however, i have read and re-read your post. Don't fully understand why you mention my ex husband in regards to this. He has nothing to do with anything that went on this past year. My marriage has been over for more than two years already, as a matter of fact, although we shared the same house long after it, there were no feelings. I have moved out and on 18 months ago already.

  • So Taureen - i saw you did reply - did you get a response from that???

  • hiprincess,

    Hey my friend. Yes, he did reply the next day....

    On my way to work, try and catch up with you later.

  • Cool!! Let me know either here or fb if you want to keep it a bit quiet 🙂 I am very interested to know how things are going... I know what is probably in your heart - but you have to always put yourself first I say!!! Ha coming from me hey!!! LOL

  • LOL... Nah... at this stage i am pretty cool. Got so used to not having him in my life that i actually don't feel excited or anything. I am so NOT going to get sucked in again. This time around i am the one responding when i feel like it. I am following his example ... if words in his message is kind of detached... i reply in the same way. Not going to sooth his ego for sure. Going to take me a very long time to trust him again. Remember... S L O W L Y!!..... LOL. He'll have to prove his loyalty etc before i'll even think of going back. I will not tolerate him messing with my head/heart again.

    The ever stubborn Taurus.... hehehehe...... Been many times in my life this stubborness saved me!

    Thanks for being there hiprincess.

    I am glad that things are going well for you

    Love and light

    PS: Will send you invite from my real FB account.

  • Urgh... i've been fast asleep HIP... added you there long ago hehehehe.

    Talk soon

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