Cancer guy - how do i handle this?

  • Hi there,

    Confused again - received so much help and support from the fabulous people on this forum. Could i please have your insight now again.

    A lot of you is familiar with my story - Please help with cancer guy - posted a couple of months back. The whole five months not a single word from him. It was like i never existed.

    A few days ago he sends me a message through dating site .... nothing heavy... only comment that i am looking good and asking how i am doing. Followed up by a flirt.. (kiss)

    Wasn't to sure if i should reply at all but in the end i did. Basically in the same manner as his... saying i feel good, i'm great thanks, how are you doing.

    I haven't really expected an answer. Tonight he replied, saying he is doing OK as usual. Good to hear i am great. I must enjoy my evening.

    The OK part not so good - as before he would say he is great unless something was up.

    Been hoping and praying all this time that he would make contact again, now that he did, i don't know at all how to handle it. Although i still love this man to death, i am certainly not going to run after him. At the same time don't want to risk losing him forever if there is still some hope.

    How do i know if he still cares? I guess what i want to know is what to do..... ?

    PLease guys..... i need all the help/advise i can get.

  • Taureengirl, been dealing with the same stuff and its an awful feeling. I tell you, I went 2 or 3 months with no contact from my fave cancer man then out of the blue he calls me, texts me, sends me pics, this goes on for a week. Then nothing!!! I texted him one time 3 weeks later saying how are you doing. He ignored it. I dunno what is up with these guys. My advice to you is dont read too much into this. He is probably just checking in as to make sure you havent moved on yet. Dont be suprised if this doenst last very long. I dont mean to sound negative but that seems to be the pattern. Go months with no contact then go back and forth a few times then they realize yes we still care then its see you later. I myself am completely aggrivated with this treatment so next time he contacts me hes getting ignored. Good luck.

  • Completely ignore him and move on... I know you love the guy, but is he really worth your time? You deserve someone who makes you feel good, dont you think?

    I couldn't stand the way the Cancer man I was seeing made me feel so I told him to kick rocks! I'm done with games... This man was not worth it if he couldn't even make an effort. I did my part and I wasn't going to chase him. I'll bet he's sorry he messed up. I know what I've got... and he's missing it.

    I think if he really cares he would make more of an effort to talk to you.. try not to stress yourself out too much. Just keep on living. Things will fall into place.

    Good luck to you.

  • Taureen - im sorry but I probably have to agree with both lovin n mstarx... Has he tried to contact you after these 2 messages.. I really think you do deserve better than a non committment from someone who prob doesn't even know what they want... I am still with mine - I am the one who breaks it up and he is always there... I have had my moments with him where I have jumped to conclusions that were totally incorrect but we have worked through this and came out the other end better for it..

    I am not sure what you are looking for but I really think that if he isn't making you happy then what is the point of it all - cause sometimes love just isn't enough....

  • well heres some info on a cancer man

    What it's like to date a Cancer Man:

    The Cancer man will not be direct with you. He will approach you cautiously and slowly. He will be very romantic and flirty and attempt to court you and win your heart with lavish gifts and attention. The reason he will never be direct with you is that he has a strong underlying fear of rejection. Of you are interested in a Cancer man, you will probably have to make the first move and ask him on a date. He falls in love easily and will make you his whole world. Once you "belong to him", he will hold on to you and can become quite jealous and possessive. This is because he is worried he will lose you to another man and that would crush his spirit. He needs you to be loyal and faithful for he is the same, in a strong and close relationship, Cancer men are the most loyal of the astrology signs. They make excellent lovers for the tender woman who loves romance and being swept off her feet. Cancer is very affectionate and thrives on holding hands all the time, and constant physical contact as he absorbs the situation and experiences with his feelings. The cancer man is all about feeling. He might not show it however and might portray a calm and cool exterior but underneath, he feels deeply and intensely. Cancer men are easily offended so do not jokingly make fun of them for they will take offense and get hurt, but once again, this will not be known to you. He will simply sulk on his own while he tries to figure out and dissect what you said. Cancer men are excellent male protectors, they are like the knight in shining armor. If you are the kind of woman that likes being looked after and cared for, and loves affection and devotion, this romantic, sensual man is perfect for you.

    How To Attract Cancer:

    You must be direct, Cancer will not. Let your feelings for them be known, this is the first step to initiating a relationship with a Cancer. This way, will not have to risk rejection, one of their biggest fears. If you are looking for a short fling, be straight with them. Do not lead them on to thinking there is long term commitment is there is none because you will hurt these emotionally delicate people. Trust is the most important. Build trust with them and they will gradually get closer to you. Give them approval and compliments but be careful because they will easily sense when you are complimenting them just for the sake of it. Be sincere. Ask Cancer for advice, share your problems (but don't burden them), they enjoy helping people and giving advice. They like culture and lavish experiences. Take them to a play or museum and a fancy, upscale restaurant. Do not force Cancer into a relationship or make them make a decision on the spot. They will shy away from you. Have patience, this is the key to attracting a Cancer. Be physical with them, they love genuine affection. They are very cautious and as time passes, they will slowly grow closer to you and you will have wonderful, fulfilling relationship.

    I hope this helps you

  • Hi,

    I have been in a relationship for 11years with a cancerian male (boy). It has been an extreme learning curve for me. I am paitent to a point and give my love to those I care about. This cancerian took advantage of that. I don't know whther it is the moon or his hard shell he has engulfed himself in but I have been dealing with the absolute negative side of a cancerian male. Possessive, sulky, holding grudges and not cutting the apron strings to his mother. We have 2 children together and I have filed for divorce. I could not handle the unrealistic demands and total package of a cancerian. I will now run a mile away from dating another cancerian. My advice, as charming as they are and as much as they come across to the hills

  • Vera18 - you have just told me all I need to know about my cancer guy!! Thank you so much!!! I now understand what I have been going through with him for the last year!!! And i know how I have now hurt him with just being me... But he loves me enough to get over all that stuff and keep maintaining a positive relationship with me with no retreats....

    Ahhhh just when i thought I understood - you have made it all the more clear!!!

  • Is even harder if you cancer man has been hurt.

    Another reason fo the back n fro, he may feel think believe he divulged too much personal private thinsg with u n fear he went too fast too soon.

    As ive said in another post, the cancerian male moves n acts like is sign animal the crab. he may list right n left away, but if u watch his eyes are on the ball goal at all times.

    And last IF u TRUELY love ur cancerian male u will give him teh time n space to make his moves regardless of how long it takes. All in all does ur world evolve around him n his moves???i it does, then u have already lost that battle.

  • Thank you Ladies!! Once again so much valuable information.

    I think the situation is more complex than it looks like. Months ago i've been the one that was giving him a hard time. I'm not the best communicator and my words sound more harsh than what is meant. When in person my tone of voice make the world of difference. Somehow i do believe he was downright scared . Two weeks before the crap started he even said he never want to be on the receiving side of my anger. With everything else that was going on in my life at that stage, i can see now that he could see my words as anger against him... even though i haven't meant it that way. When i was wrong, i'll be the first to admit it. Honestly he is not the only one to blame. Yeah, i know he could have open his mouth.... After the first month i send hiim a mail like every four to six weeks... but when i read them now, i can see that if you expect negativity it could have been projected like that.

    But it's no use dissecting things that happened long ago.

    On the 17th i had a reading.... this lady was so spot-on with everything. Even things that happened when i was a little girl and totally forgot about. Towards the end of the reading she said i have to talk about my feelings to someone. I have to open up and bite the bullet and that a doorl be opened for me to do so. She said this person feels the same way as myself and also having trouble expressing himself. He is also scared of rejection.

    The very same night - about 3 hours later - he sends me a mail.

    Now if this is not a sign, then i don't know.

    I only replied two days later.... on the 19th. (During this two days he came online like ever 30 - 60 minutes... normally he would once every three days or so. This tells me he was waiting for my reply... MIght be wishful thinking from my side - but i kind of know his online activity, as we have been communicating more than a year on the site before eventually meeting. Not because of him... he tried hard enough. At the time i was still in a marriage...... although nothing between me and ex hubby ... Husband being g@y. Didn't feel right to meet someone while still living with him.

    After receiving my message he haven't come online until last night... thinking my words over.. lol

    lovinmylife... i still remember part of your story. I would not stand for that kind of treatment.

    mstarx..... i believe everybody deserves another chance. Before all of this happened he did everything to make me happy. Contacted me every day, even when very busy... sometimes only to tell me he is thinking about me.

    hiprincess... i am so happy for you my friend. I know you have been through lots too. Lol... as the last message was only send last night.. i havent' replied yet.. i would figure its a bit to soon for him to try and contact again. My guess is, he is testing the waters. See if it's safe. 🙂

    Vera18... Wow, thank you for sharing. This is a piece of information i have read before.. being so damn stubborn i haven't follow the advise.

    taurus5...I am sorry things did not out for you. In the end everybody needs to decide what is best for themselves. Good luck to you.

    Thank you once again for your valuable input.

    Love and light to you

    Any other comments welcome...

  • Hey Bente,

    How are you doing?

    Hehehe.. i have given him all the space he needs and wants. And no, my world does not evolves around him and hismoves. Never have and certainly not in future. I am enjoying my life in full.

  • Hey Everyone! I have been dating a cancerian for almost a year, and man have I gained some insight! This is the second cancer I have dated (the first lasted about 5 years). The key to a cancer is really giving hundred %, supporting him, being empathetic, but also YOU MUST BE TRUE TO YOURSELF. Cancerians are reliable, and if you are loyal to them they will return the favor. However, you must decide how much you are willing to give without losing your own identity. DO NOT compromise too much, because if he really knows and understands you, he will also see when he has pushed you too far and BELIEVE me if he loves you he will make sure that he stays part of your life. It is up to you how quick you want to get there. Hope this is not too

  • Hey girl taureen

    well ivegot some flu bug in my system, other than that am i coping with curveballs of life as good as i can. as 4 love well yoyoland still. oh boy lol

  • Lol bente, as you can see i am back in yoyoland...

    Only this time i am much wiser. :))

  • Taureen! I am still battling over mine, so you're not the only one. I say keep moving on to your life and still try to keep in contact with him knowing you still care.

    After hearing all the characteristics of a Cancer male, I want to say most of them apply to mine, but I still get confused! I know mine loves me will all his heart, I can tell, he's still not putting any effort into telling me or showing any emotion. That's one thing about my Cancer male, he is very emotionless. Also For example: When Vera posted that Cancer males are very flirty and will court you, my Cancer male very rarely flirted with me, but he FLIRTs with other women like crazy!!!! And as I have said earlier, my Cancer man gets sensitive whenever I say something. He is laid back when other people say potentially offending things. But when I complain about people in general (so not talking about my cancer man), he takes it as if I was talking about him and gets upset. And now he has completely avoided talking to me, and it seems to be that the only time I saw him happy to see me was when I last visited him. I don't know now....I'm trying so hard to keep avoiding and ignoring him to see if he would at least be more open. I know he's been hurt by another girl before and that's a reason why he's really shy. But nothings happening with my reassurance and my question is how I can show that I am not like other girls?

  • Well taureen ................ at times is yoyoland not so bad lol

    squabull, just be urself hope n pray he sees u for u n not comparing to the past. wish u the best darl!

  • Squabull, i know what it feels like. Only advise i can give... be patient girl. Hehehe... i'm a nice one to talk... i did not had any patience. Different story now.

    Believe in yourself, live your life in the meantime.

    BTW... went back to your old threads. Did you buy a pendulum?

    My pendulum kept me sane all these months. Had a reading the other night and she confirmed what trustfully pendy said all the time!!

    Good girl sweetie...

    Sending you healing thoughts.

    Love and light

  • Bente, i agree...when times is good they are indeed GOOD!!

  • I Was dateing this Cancer guy well it all started when we first meet with in a week he just moved him self in and we were like that for a year! its strange for the last 4 going to be 5 in Jan years I feel as if he has this form of ESP when it comes to Me He seems to know when to call or show up when I need him the most even if its been awhile and have lost contatact he finds me I can go on and on about all the things that have happend. But it seems like every time we start to get close or any thing like that he is real quick to run or say even do something that just stabs me in the Heart and twists the Knife then after a day or few days maby even week or so he is like nothing was ever said and then he will say, do, or both somthing that just makes my Heart Melt and is what I have always wanted to Hear or do & at times its something I never even dreamed he would but its perfect. But this has been going on with him and I off and on Hook ups on his time & place & convenience for the last 3-4 years. There are times were I feel like this time its for real and its gonna stay and nope wrong agean and then there are times were I feel like I just lost him for ever and then he comes back this round and round game we have played for so long it just gets so dam frustrateing and when I feel like giveing up or think that I have I find my self real quickly doing it all over agean. I Love Him so much and for so Long and I know He Loves Me To with droping his little sines and hints I have came out & told him & never once has he Im just whateing. I know He is My Soul Mate & I'm His but I just want to stop with the Game Chase & just let it be Him & I Agean when will this ever happen I think and feel.

  • Hey tarureen

    yeah i got both pendulums, though not gotten the hang of the usage yet.

  • no problem glad to help 🙂

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