A little help: Gem - female and Sag male

  • I have to ask.... I am gem and my ex is a sag. Things got a little confusing and difficult between us and after three years, he walked away (actually he stomped on my heart and immediately started to date someone else). Both of us love our freedom, and it was definitely getting claustrophobic for both of us towards the end. I knew I wanted to change things up and I wanted to fix things between us, prior to us declaring a break up, but both of us are young and are in such transitional parts of our lives. All the stresses of life got in the way and I didnt know how to make the right change to fix things. Even though it is difficult, I can understand his need for change and why he left. What I do not understand is HOW he could leave the way he did. It was very cruel... I wasn't even given the common decency that most people give to strangers let alone their significant other. I do know that even after everything that has happened I still love him (though there are a lot of issues that would need to be addressed) I was curious, is his cruelty his way of coping? Does he still love me? Will he come back?

    Hard questions to answer, I know, its the curse of the gemini to be curious and to try and see both sides of the story.

    Maybe it is crazy to still hold on, but the thing is that we were so magnetic and so physically compatible that to lose all those wonderful things about us, even when things got hard, seems too large a loss, not worth giving up.

    We have not spoken in a month and a half. We left things as though I were going to cut him out of my life, but Im finding this exceedingly hard to do.

    Im really wanting my fairy tale and for prince charming to ride up on his horse, say he is sorry, and to rekindle the magnetic love he and I had before things got ugly.

    Is this possible with a sag?

    Any suggestions/advice?

  • Also I am a gemini with a pisces moon and sag rising. I am not 100 % for him but I think he is a sag with both an aries moon and rising.

  • I dated a sag guy and let me say ,they are very smart,funny,charming and true scholars.You can learn so much from them because they are so smart and they have that magnetic charming personality.You can really vibe with them which is why Gemini women are so attracted to them,also they are our opposite .But they drop you in a New York minute if they even get an inkling of somebody being a tad bit better then you.They arent loyal and they see nothing wrong with hurting you and then coming back because its all about them.They have a conquer mentality with women and will cheat on you and swear they aint doing nothing wrong.They feed off of weakness,the more you show you are interested ,the more they will dog you out.Why would you want any man like that. Sag men make better friends to Gemini women then mates.You need to think logically with your head and not with your heart because trust me he will call you soon and woo you and then hurt you again because he knows he can.You need to blow him off and watch him gravel around and get your power back and then tell him no chance.He will then turn angry and show his true colors.

  • damn man theres alot of sag men bashing going on lately, and i seem to be the only one here to defend us lol, all that i will say is that, im just "friends" with this girl right now, cause she says shes not ready for a relationship, im not even sure if i am, but with her, we have ALOT, and i mean ALOT, in common that is it really scary how much we are alike,

    im a sag, and shes a Libra, (everybody says those go together really well), and i can tell you that honestly i dont think i could find anybody that i would have this much in common with, i understand her and her feelings, and she does mine, so right now im willing to wait as long as it takes for her to make up her mind on what shes looking for, and i also will say this, if and/or when we become boyfriend and girlfriend, i will NEVER cheat!! thats just out of the question, i dont know what kind of sag men you guys are running into, but im not like the the normal one i geuss, my brother is 3 years older than me, and a sag also, i see that he is like these guys you talk about, he told his girlfriend of 5 years that he wanted to marry her, but she didnt want too, cause she is too much of a party girl and only cares about having a good time, and my brother is more serious and not as fun, unlike me,

    so ok i geuss im done trying to defend us sag men, but i at least i hope you know that there are good ones out there, u just gotta be lucky enough to find em,

  • Thank you both for replying.

    I wonder if my ex is a bit more like your brother, chevelleman71, because he was a bit more serious and I was a bit more the party girl. I began to reign things in when he didn't like it (it wasn't ever in a controlling, possessive sort of way, but he was more shy than I was and he says he didn't trust other guys). I tend to monitor my actions for the benefit of the group, or this time, the relationship. I didn't mind "slowing" things down for him. We had talked of getting hitched (NOT anytime soon, but down the road) and in the beginning we had both thought that if anyone was going to leave, it was going to be me.

    I had a small fear of commitment because I loved my freedom, to come and go as I please, but I also enjoyed the comfort of knowing someone and not having to deal with "strangers". Eventually he did win me over and when I decided to give my heart away, I did fully. I am very loyal, and it saddens me to hear that even after everything he and I said to each other, all the things I believed to be true, that he can just turn everything "off" and drop me like a bad habit for something he "thinks" is better.

    Guess I was hoping there would be some hidden Sag quality that makes them realize the error of their ways.

    If anything now, I am just looking for a real apology. Because, I tell you, Karma is a bitch. I think I may have gotten what I deserved from something I did a long time ago and after he has treated me, it is going to be ugly when he gets his.

    At least, I have done as demac suggested and I have been cutting him out of my life. I haven't spoken to him nor reached out or anything in almost two months and we just separated in July.

    It is soooo true when they say, actions speak louder than words. The way he has allowed the silence to continue between us tells me that I am just as "gone" to him as he is to me.

    Thanks again for your responses. If anyone else cares to share, I would be more than willing to hear it.

    Thank you.

  • Sag is a great sign don't get me wrong, wonderful fun loving people in many ways and many are intelligent but don't look to them for great mental or emotional depth. As with many fire signs, you have to take great care not to get burned. Geminis love their freedom and their fun, which is why the gem/sag combination can be an attraction. I am a virgo and I have had many sag friends over the years, but I never would get romantically involved with one. Most I personally know, (although wonderful people in many ways) are a bit too independent to have a deep relationship with another person. Take it for what it was, you had some good times together and by holding on to what mind have been, you are keeping yourself from the truly great love that exists for you in the very near future if you are open to it. He may have had some good qualities, but is that worth getting your heart trampled on again and again? Chances are he'll keep doing this.. Is that something you want? You said yourself that you were getting claustrophophic... do yourself a favor and date another air sign for awhile, see how you like it. Moving on is the best thing you can do for yourself now, on all fronts.

  • Thank you Virgogirl. You are right and I think deep down I know it too. Guess when it comes to love everything gets fuzzy. I appreciate your honesty.

  • By the way, you are 100% right about karma and he WILL get it and it won't be much fun for him when it happens. Yet, you walked the higher road in this relationship and what you went through with him won't be forgotten. I responded because I know very well what heartache is, had my heart trampled on a number of times. Unfortunately, I found my heart became more guarded and if anyone was going to do the leaving it was going to be me. But that's not how you are, you have very positive energy that should be shared with someone on your level. Not sure if you realize it yet, but you are at a higher energy level than he is. Not telling you what to do here, but I get the feeling that there is something new and very positive on your horizon.

    If our hearts didn't sometimes get hurt, maybe we wouldn't appreciate it when someone truly and genuinely loves us which I know is going to happen to you in spades!! Wish you all the best.

  • Virgogirl, I cannot thank you enough! Sometimes we need an outside point of view to give us a push. A view that isn't connected the way our family and friends are. It is easy to get sucked into the "why wasn't I good enough" mantra that we forget about ourselves and end up hurting ourselves even more. I was "dwelling" on the issue, and even though I knew better, it just hurt to know that Id been replaced and that I could be so easily dismissed. I am thankful for you sharing your insight. Maybe I am at a higher energy level than he is, and I just didnt realize I was wasting my time. My current goal now is to take a big deep breath, move one step at a time, and keep my eyes on that "horizon" 🙂 Thank you again!

  • hmmm my brother and his girlfriend, were kinda like you tmoe, but he is a sag, and i think shes an aries, both of them are very angry people, she is alot!! my bro think shes mad still that her dad passed away when she was a little kid, and feels like she still hasnt dealt with it, and therefor she is the party girl that would rather drink her pain away, (but not an alcholic) and my brother doesnt drink, and not really that fun to be around, cause he is so serious,

    ME on the other hand since ive been seeing this girl and got my confindence back, im very talkative, and willing to act stupid in public and not care what other people think, cause i was really shy before, but now not so much, sometimes i think i could be a stand up comedian if my confidence gets even higher lol, cause ive always enjoyed making people laugh, and will act way, WAY stupid to get someone to laugh, kinda like chris farley on SNL, lol

    but yes my bro has broken up with this girl now, and my brother is already dating someone else, cause i think he's very needy, and clingy, way more than I, and you say one wrong thing around him and it could end up in a huge fight, they both wonder about eachother, (cause i hang out with both of them cause shes fun to be around, but shes like a sister to me, and my bro knows i would do that), and i dunno i trult think its over between them, shes deleted his number from her phone, and havent talked in like 2 months

  • You are welcome, tmoe! I have done the very same thing many times, until I finally (after much heartache) realized the truth. In the grand scheme of things, you are anything but dismissed. 🙂 Its rare I get such positive vibes, but you definitely have many good things coming on that horizon.

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