New love and relationships

  • Recently, I've gotten close with a group of people...and I now consider them to be my friends. I also developed feelings for a person within that group and it seemed like we're now drifting apart. Should I continue to socialize with these people, or pursue the person or trust my instincts and allow us to grow apart? Am I the only one who wants to try to preserve the relationships? I'm pretty young, and i know teenage relationships can be fickle...

    All advice and insight is appreciated.

  • Hi Electrum--Is this an organization at school or outside. Why do you feel you are drifting apart from your friend. This is the question you have to address. Second, is this group beneficial for you in the long run. If the answer is yes, stay in the group. Your gut feelings are usually right. It sounds like your beginning to feel uncomfortable w/the group-is it because of your friend.

  • Hello Electrum, being a teenager and going through social issues is one of the toughest things for a young adult. I like Dalia's questions, I think you could help us to help you if you could fill in the blanks. However, it sounds like your drifting apart from both relationships, and that happens a lot of times when two people in a group develop a relationship that may or may not include the group. Or jealousy changes the dynamics of the group. My daughter had this come up a time or two. When a teenage group forms whether its a church group or club at school, sooner or later someone is going to become attracted to another member. And often there are multiple relationships like this, which is ok, except when they start to cross, lets say this the person you are interested in is now interested in another or this person is being given a hard time about seeing you. Im assuming that by the way you described your invlovement with this group you could be one of the newcomers. Which is usually the underdog, and is harder to be accepted by everyone, key word is everyone. Because some will be jealous of you if you have instant favor by others whether of the same gender or not. Thus friction, and often being pushed out of the group or the sense of dripfting apart. Then there is just good old fashion everyone can be mad at each other for liking each others boyfriends/girlfriends...that is the shorter version of the problem. So, what am i saying, i told my daughter that in a perfect world dating within a small group of friends would be ok, but its not a perfect world and two someone's are going to date and someone else is going to get their feelings hurt. So its best not too. The group obviously was formed for a reason, and that reason should be the topic of conversation and gathering. So, again, what am i saying, iI agree with Dalia, if the cause of the group is important, then stay with the group, focus on its cause and tend to the cause. If there have been hurt feelings, go to that person and appologize, tell them your sorry if you hurt their feelings and that it wasnt your its a great way to being accepted into the group...then see what happens to your other relationship... you should at least work on staying friends...for the cause of the group...good luck

  • Well, thank you both for replying to my post. I appreciate it. This group is outside of school, and we met for the final time last Sunday. now it is up to us to keep the friendships we made over the year.

    Unfortunately, I don't feel everyone in the group values my friendship... and there's added stress of having a crush within what I would call my friends. It isn't because of my friend... I just am lost in terms of whether to pursue that person or not. I'm a Sagittarius, and they're Capricorns if that helps.

  • Crushes can be difficult. Plan a small meeting like eating-out or something small that you all have in common. Capricorns are usually athletic people. I also think that you should have someone that you really trust to talk to you. Maybe a close family friend, a person at church, a teacher etc. It doesn't matter how old you are because everyone needs someone to talk to at times. Be yourself and be happy.

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