Need help with Scorpio Man!!!
I have been dating an amazing Scorpio man for the last 2.5 months who has completely swept me off my feet. From the very first time I met him, I instinctively knew he was the one. He was just as keen about the relationship and every time we’ve met, it has gotten better. A few weeks ago he started having a few issues, such as a huge medical exam which was stressing him to death, his brother’s wedding that he was organizing and a massive eczema outbreak that he claims came back into his life after 23 years and embarrasses him to death. On top of that, the stress he’s taking now is resulting in serious insomnia; he takes tons of sleeping pills now but to no avail.
He has never been the type of guy who would text/call me all the time, but I would always see him on the weekends and he would give me the most amazing time ever. But recently, since all the problems started hitting him, he’s making less of an effort to keep in touch with me during the week. But when I see him on the weekends, I have a go at him at not keeping in touch enough and he tells me he doesn’t feel the need to be in touch every second of every day and that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care for me, or think about me all the time or doesn’t miss me. Then we just laugh it off, kiss and make up and go back to having the most fantastic time with each other. The very last time I met him (3 weeks ago), the same thing happened, and we made up, he talked about the future, even marriage, and made plans for ‘next time’.
He then gave me a long passionate kiss and left in the morning. I didn’t hear from him for 6 days. Now when I read these blogs I realize this is quite normal behavior for a scorpio man in needing their SPACE and re-charging themselves, but me being an impatient, insecure LEO I called him only to pick a fight this time. Then hung up, send him a text saying ‘ I think you are fooling around with me’. So he texted back saying ‘well that defines it then, I don’t take accusations like that, there will be no more fooling around’. I realized what I had done and I called him again and this time he lashed out on me (for the first time since I have known him I have actually seen him angry, and boy was he angry!). He said the meanest things to me ever, made me cry and said things like ‘you’re not ready for a relationship and I think we should just try to be friends just for a few weeks’ and also stuff like ‘I don’t feel the need to report to you what I do every single second of everyday’. Anyway, I apologized to him 10 times after that and told him I will be more understanding from now onwards but no response from him. A few days later I called him, and this time it was even worse. He said he was too stressed about things in his life and was not ready for a relationship. I was in complete tears and the more I cried and told him how much I care about him, the icier he became. He made it seem like oh I’ll be fine without him, I’ll get through, and I kept wailing and saying no I won’t, I needed him in my life. Then he said I should sit on what he’s said and he’ll come back later that week and we’ll ‘talk’ about it.
I didn’t contact him for a few days. Then send him a text profusely apologizing about not being understanding enough and not acknowledging the fact that he had so many things on in his life. I also said I think he’s an amazing man and I still want him in my life exactly the way he is. I also promised I will never give him a reason to feel this way again. He responded saying he will meet me on the weekend (Saturday morning 11 am but will confirm in the morning). I waited a few hours, then texted him asking if he was alright. This was around 1 pm, he texted back saying he was still in bed as he didn’t sleep well the night before (insomnia issues!). He had a wedding to go that day as well which he cancelled as he said he wasn’t feeling 100%. I asked him if he wanted to have dinner over at my place that night as I was cooking and he responded back saying ‘I can’t promise, I’m sorry. Just leave me be a while’. His response was very hurtful as I’ve never seen him like this but I decided to muster the courage and texted him back saying ‘don’t worry about it. I’ll give you all the space and time in the world you need. Just remember I’m still here for you and you can talk to me about anything when you feel ready.’ I also told him to take good care of himself. This is the last communication we’ve had since. It’s been almost TWO weeks now and I haven’t heard back from him neither have I initiated any contact!!!!
In the phone conversation we had during our fight earlier, he had said to me he has been feeling for the last few weeks (essentially since I started pestering him about keeping in touch more) that his personality is too strong for me. I didn’t understand that then but I do now… after reading these blogs. Was he testing me with his hot/cold behavior by pulling away and then coming back full force? Does he think I’ve failed, or is he putting me through a final test now to see how much I can endure this time? Is there still time to rectify this? Will he give me a second chance?? I know he really likes me and cares for me from his actions and the way he is when we are together. He hasn’t broken up with me, he’s just left it hanging in mid-air as in ‘let me be a while’. It seems like he’s going through some dark depressing phase and can’t seem to be able to make up his mind. I don’t want to lose him, please somebody give me some good advice. Will he come back to me????
Ps. He seems to be going through some dark depressing phase at the moment, and has missed a couple of weeks of work which is very strange to me since he’s quite an ambitious doctor (psychiatrist) by profession
Ever heard of "He's just not that into you?"
As a Scorpio man, I can assure you he's not. We tend to be on or off. If he was into you, he'd be very happy that you contact him, and he would also contact you, just because he's thinking about you.
Also, don't over-apologize. That's why he said his personality may be too strong for you. You have to maintain an air of mystery and distance to attract a Scorpio man. Having women be attracted to you is normal. The ones that stick are the ones who work the mystery. If I knew a woman who apologized over and over again, it would turn me off - big time. One apology is more than enough, as a Scorpio never forgets.
Henry Ford once said (paraphrased) that: To make a man desire something, simply make it unobtainable. That is unbelievably true for a Scorpio man.
I hope this helps. I didn't want to be mean, but thought you should get an honest opinion from an honest Scorpio man.
As far as the depression on his behalf - we all do it. Even though we say we want to be left alone, we come out of our shell when forced - and inside we actually like it. So, keep in mind the other things I've said, but don't let him "sit" on his depression. He'll actually like it if you push him to get out and do things.
Mystery, distance, allure... make him go crazy wanting you. That's the only way.
well ill see if i can help a little bit, but probably not much
um kinda sounds like he feels "smothered" by you, and could be worried about how much you say you need him, want him, Dont want to lose him etc... maybe he has underlying issues, like "wow she really likes me alot but i dont think im too great of a person and i think she can find better"
he's a psychiatrist huh? i tend to think that people with troubled past's try to help people in some way, weather it be a Doctor, Nurse, counsler, paramedic, fire fighter, etc.... cause they feel like they can help people threw anything because they have experienced it all. so to speak
thats the way i am anyway, i love to help people cause i can relate to them, and ive thought about becoming a counsler or or nurse. maybe something from his past has come up again, and therefor turned him very "touchy" i guess and one minute hes happy, angry the next
hmm just the feeling i get but maybe more people can help you on here more than i can. good luck!
WOW! Sounds like your willing to give up everything that you are and believe in for this man. BIG MISTAKE!!! It shows him that you do not respect yourself and so he will not respect you either. Even if you two did get together, after awhile of him getting his way all the time you will start to resent your feelings not being met. Think about it....is he truly what you want????
even people in the healing profession also need healing. you know already his own psychological problem. keep apologizing won't help him. I can't say I have a good experience with a Scorpion but in his case you have to really find your generous shiny leo personality inside you. This is your time to proof yourself to him, that his personality is not too strong for you, that you are really in love with him and that you are a mature balanced woman capable of being there for him when he needs it. I really can't say much about Scorpions being warm and forgiving, but that doesn't mean you should shower him with apology. He knows you like him and he knows you are sorry, you know it. These people are not capable of hiding their stings behind a warm smile or hot kiss. What you hear and see is basically what you get. No worries in that. What you need to do now is find books or educate yourself about his problems, insomnia, depression etc. You said that he has missed a couple of weeks work, he is definitely suffering from it more than you know. I know it's hard for us Leo to understand that life is not all fun and roses. We tend to wonder around too much into lala land we forget that this lala land is not the only thing exists in our world. Snap yourself out of it. You have only known him for a few months, this is a good time for you and he to know each other more and time to proof yourself to him that you are not a pot of flower that will shatter everytime he breaks down. Your multiple apologies make him think this way. This is what he is thinking,'Oh my, one snap and she's shattered. what will happen if I lose control again?' sounds familiar? this is why he is missing. he feels the need to control himself before he can come out of his shell, because he thinks he will hurt you if he doesn't. he is in a healing profession, it's important for him to heal, not hurt others or he will fail. Don't make him think he fails, because he hasn't. Get up and get out. Stop texting or calling. Find him and talk face to face. Let him see that this pot of flower is not cracked. He is breaking a different pot of flower, someone else, someone weak and that's not you. Whatever you do, make him see you, not read your text or listen to your messages. And for goodness sake, don't mention anything about mistakes in the past or apologize if you have already. Don't burden him like that, you will lose him or even worse, kill him. And don't force him to commit to anything even as simple as calling / texting all the time, your priority is to help him heal. If you don't want to look like forcing him to meet you, send him a letter, handwriting. Write what you read in books about depression, insomnia, and make a few jokes such as 'insomnia? not when you're with me'. this is not to educate him LOL he knows it all already, but to make him realize you are with him all the way. don't worry if your handwriting is bad, people in this field usually learns to analyze a lot of things including handwriting. so he will see you as you are, in your writing. he might learn something he doesn't know, that he can heal. See where I'm going here? soon he will come out of his shell. Give him time. send him letters not everyday, maybe twice a week, not texting or calls. Go get him, Leo. it's either now or never.
Hi Wubbledoo, thanks for your advice as a Scorpio man but of course I cant expect you to know the intricate details of our relationship and I can assure you that till the last time I saw him, he was very much into me. Whenever I complained that he didn’t make enough effort to contact me, he would say to me, you know can call me whenever you like and I’ll be there for you. Something went wrong during that week after I last saw him; I’ve been reading a lot about Scorpio men and their plutonic transformations lately and am inclined to believe that I just happened to catch him at the wrong time. He has been very crabby since then. LeoScorpion, thank you very much for your two cents, you are right it could have something to do with his past that’s bothering him as he did say to me (while he was lashing out) that I don’t know anything about his past. The problem is he’s already told me to leave him alone for a while. As much as I am tempted to go out there and offer him a helping hand to pull him out of his meltdown, I’m afraid of being stung by him again (I don’t know how long this transformation thing is going to last for him this time). My best bet is to wait another two weeks (and that would be a month of no contact total) and then write him a nice handwritten letter.
Glad to help. It would be rough I won't lie to you. That's always the case with depressed people regardless what sign. try read free articles online about his problems. might give you more info on how to deal with his on and offs. Good luck. Be strong.
I was actually thinking of sending him a 'happy' text today going like lets go out to the fun fair that's on in town.. let me cheer you up.. something along those lines.. i guess i'm just in a happy mood and want to pull him out of his dark phase.. not sure if its a good idea to text him though and break that silence of no contact.. god, it sucks being this way
IM A CANCER WOMAN I DATE A SCORPIO MAN FOR 3 YEARS WE HAVE HAD OUR UPS AND DOWNS WHEN WE HAVE A PROBLEM WE BOTH GO OFF FOR A WHILE THEN COME BACK OUT .DONT CALL TOO MUCH CAUSE HE WANTS TO BE THE ONE TO CONTROL THE RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOW YOU NOT GIVING HIM A CHANCE TOO PULL HISSELF TOGETHER IF HE WANTS YOU HE WILL LET YOU KNOW IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE. THIS MAN CAN LOVE YOU IF HE WANTS LET HIM CALL YOU HE KNOWS YOU ARE CARING ABOUT HIM. AND MAYBE HIS PERSONALITY IS TOO STRONG FOR YOU THIS MAN KNOWS WHAT HE WANT SO LET HIM GO AFTER YOU AND DONT BE A PEST...
Yeah I think you're right baebae, I've been a good girl and haven't contacted him in two weeks now. What can I do to show to him that my personality is strong enough for him...??
Being married to a Scorpio man for 7 years now, I will tell you that you probably blew it. When my man gets stressed he pulls away, he tries to go solitary to sort out the contents of his head. During this time I have to tell myself to give him his space, to still support him, but he needs to resolve issues in his own time, in his own way. I simply let him know I am here if he wants to reach out. I don't force him to reach out, I don't start thinking crazy things (i.e. he's cheating on me, etc) when he goes into this phase, I simply stand back, let him know I am here, and wait his return to the real world when I can then resume my place as the loving wife who will help build himself back up after whatever ordeal caused his retreat. That said though, during this time drama is not what they need, and if they feel that you placed them up against a wall they will lash out like it's no one's business. Remember scorpions have a venomous tail for a reason! You have likely killed his trust in you and he knows he is already high maintenance and doesn't see taking on anyone who is high maintenance as well. You are better off finding someone else, once a scorpio is scorned, beware, they have a memory like and elephant and they can keep a grude going longer than necessary to get their point accross. Trust me when I tell you, if you aren't ready to deal with these phases they go through and be strong enough to step aside and let him deal with his issues how he deals with them, find someone else cause this is something you will always come back to.
THIS IS TURE DRKMRBDANGL MY SCORPIO MAN IS THAT WAY .ALL I DO WHEN HE HAS A PROBLEM IS LET HIM GO. BECAUSE IM A CANCER AND I HAVE MY MOMENTS ALSO AND HE WILL LET ME GO INTO MY SHELL WHEN I NEED TO FEEL SECURE ALL HE SAY I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU . BUT YOU HAVE SHOWED HIM THAT YOU WILL LET HIM HAVE HIS TIME. THIS MAN WILL LEAVE YOU ALONE FOR A WHILE THEN COME BACK WHEN HE IS READY SO IF YOU WANT TO WAIT DO THAT BUT ITS GOING TO TAKE SOME TIME. ALSO TRUST AND BELONGING TO HIM IS A BIG THING SO THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU HAVE IF YOU WANT THIS KIND OF RELATIONSHIP.
Hi girls, I'm not completely convinced I blew it. First of all, I've never seen him in a bad mood the whole time i've dated him (2.5 mths). During the week, I have never pestered him with phone calls and text messages. He would disappear for days and I would always let him come back in his own time and pace and I never really questioned that. except asking him to keep in touch a bit more, the last few times. It was only the last time I spoke to him that he lashed out because I think that was the first time ever I've actually caught him 'inside his cave'. The timing was wrong, and I was too naive to know what I was dealing with. But it only happened once.. .and then i said to him, look dont worry about it... i'm going to give you all the space and time in the world but am still here for you and you can talk to me about anything when you feel ready. This was 2 weeks ago and I havent heard back from him. Surely, he can't be this unforgiving. I am giving him his SPACE now so what else does he want???
Note: I want to be with this guy more than anything in the world, I have a special connection with him that I can't let go of. So yes, i will wait however long I have to and let him deal with his issues if he needs to do this from time to time. I just want him to come back... I've already told him i will be more understanding from now on and will never make him feel this way again
It won't be easy as I already said. whatever his sign is, someone that has depression and everything else is not easy to deal with. just be strong. it might take a long time for him to come around, because unfortunately his job is healing people and he himself needs healing. if he could change career it might help but you said this is his ambition, so then it all goes back to you, your love and determination. He must be trying to analyze himself right now, trying to heal himself the way he tries to heal others. There won't be much you can do aside from being there for him and be strong, I don't think he is open to suggestions since he would feel he knows it all being in that profession already. Anyway, I can only wish you both the best. I really applaud you ma-leo. I wouldn't be able to do this if I were you. I tried it with a relative and we both almost ended up suicidal. So there I wouldn't be able to take the stand you are taking. It's nice though to see that someone can. I hope you both make it.
Hi Ma leo,
One thing you can always say about a Leo's...is, their loyalty. The planet Mercury "communication" is in Retrograde, meaning a communication break-down. It happens about three to four times a year. It started in the sign of Libra, which deals with relationships. When in retrograde...it's not just about communication...anyway, it started September 7th and will be over September 29th. It starts having affect on the earth a few days before and after.
I'm a Cancer and have been with Scorpio men. My rising is in Leo and now my Moon is in Virgo. It would be interesting to see where your rising is...it really gives you an insight on one's characteristic. Between Leo and Scorpio...passions and tempers are equally strong. There will be a great deal of physical attraction but both are on a very short fuse. Scorpio would rather dominate than admire.
So, you can wait until September is completely over and hope that he calls. Otherwise, honey, move-on...life is too short!
To be honest, I'm starting to feel quite angry now. Today after two weeks of not having any contact, I texted him wishing him 'Happy Eid' (it's a religious event that holds the same significance as Christmas) and god's blessings on him etc. It was just a short and sweet two liner text. How can someone be rude and cruel enough to not wish the other person back.. it's like when you say Merry Christmas to someone and they just ignore you. He hasn't bothered texting me back now. I'm extremely sad. I didn't do anything horrible to him, I didn't betray him, cheat on him. All I did was to say a few hurtful things to him like 'i think you're fooling around with me' and then I apologized very sincerely. People say a million mean things to each other in relationships (in anger) and then make up.. How can one be really into a relationship till the last minute then do a 180 within seconds... it's completely beyond me...
As an "older" Scorpio male with somehow an abundance of Leo female relationships I say this from both observation, reading and experience. We Scorpio males are an entity unto ourselves and can't help it. The most profound reason is we're REALLY "in tune" with GOD's workings on the planet although we spend most of our lives searching for the reason beliving WE ourselves have the answer or will find the answer in our own way instead of letting anybody else tell us otherwise. Very few male scorpio's started life easy and it will show in how we deal with the personal challenges you can see. To us scorpios, every move we make, think, do or question is a "life or death final answer that becomes our personal makeup" tho we rarely tell anybody that. If we know you love us then we solidly believe you are there for us as we REALLY do have other things (priorities) keeping us from having any real time to cheat. We get mad because we're serious about everything we do so unless you have absolute proof at the same time don't accuse us, we will quit you and after we're done with whatever we are doing we will start over and we will feel the hurt of losing or former partner. In other words we are SERIOUS people about everything and can't help it. All women must understand if you love us then just do YOUR thing separately and invite us out once in a while: billards, plays, movies. We'll be GLAD to pay for it. Act like you don't care even if you do. Stand your ground if you know you are right and never concede. It seems like the old "ignore them it'll make them want you more" scenario. LIFE IS SHORT! KEEP IT REAL WITH US AND YOURSELF. THEN MOVE YOURSELF FOREWARD. If he is a child of GOD, he wouldn't be putting you through the changes and it seems he's being spiritually tested. And failing. That's what his pastor is there for. Just don't be afraid to tell him so. Time to do you Leo Woman instead of so much for others. You'll be fine. ;]
I am Aqu. and husband is Scorpio, married 23 yrs.
I'd like to draw your attention back to what your Scorpio friend is going thru. Sounds like he has a full plate. He needs to focus on his schooling, which is very important to him. The family wedding and then there is starting a relationship. Let him be. Go on with your life and keep meeting new people. Don't forget him, just move your thoughts toward more Happy thoughts about him. Thoughts that wish him only the best. Take care of yourself. Make a routine of daily beauty care. Work on this every day and do not stop. In the long run you will look even more beautiful to him when he see's you again. Keep very busy, you do not have time to think about the past wrongs or what ifs. I am proof it works. He needed time, I gave it to him. He would come back in my life then leave again. Guess after a while seeing me date others he finally made up his mind. Support him with what he asks of you and love him with your thoughts. Remember not to put thoughts in Your head that you know are not true, cause you really do not know what is going on in another persons head.
All my best to you!
I am a Leo that fell hard once for a Scorpio Man! And yes, I thought he was the man of my dreams! Tall, handsome, sexy, well dressed, nice cars and very mysterious & Jamaican. Well, it turned out that he was married and he had a chick on the side. He told me he was gonna take care of me until I heard of him having a son (He told me and saw me much less). But whenever I ran into him he gave me lunch money or gas money. He was nice to me. Less often he came to my house and he would lay and hold me. Oh, and talk about trusting me! Ha!
It took 5 years for me to figure him out. His wife was his business partner, he wouldn't admit. His chick was the parking lot girl where he and his wife parked. Once his wife kicked him out of their $750,000 home, Mr. In Love With Me, to me he came! This was after knowing him 5 years. I found out nothing from him. I played Hector Detector! So all that mystery...HuH! He's dong something else, PLAYING YOU! OK! Don't fall for it LEO! You're much stronger than that, and you're worth more!
He came to stay at my house and texted all day long. Telling me he was talking to his sister in Jamaica. I even let him use my car because he said he had to check on his house. He and his wife had owned 4 or 5 properties. He was trying to get one through the divorce (that he never admitted to). He told me a story of his friend that found a man in his wife's bed, well it was him! She was evidently tired of his S....! Anyway, I went to his house to find nothing in it. He didn't have a job cause she kicked him to the curb! They were immigration lawyers and they made bucks! Oh did I say lawyers (She was the licensed Lawyer).
After dropping him off several different times on some corner that this guy was supposed to meet him (that was B...Too). And on top of that he came home smelling like somebody else's perfume. He would laugh and tell me I was insecure, NOT! And he would hide in my bathroom to text! One time he even said he needed my car overnite! I was in love...I let him take it!
Oh and when he took my car he would always take all my keys off so she wouldn't see that the keys belonged to a female, so I used to give him my girly keyring, he used to take it off and hide it. Yeah, SIGNS! And yesss, I did the Tarot, IChing, etc. He was on his own mission! Love ain't it!
To make a long story short. he left my house one day to do something (LIE) so I started calling his phone. From 10am or so. Finally, around 3 some chick answers, "He's not here, but he'll be back!" So, inquisitive me says do you live near ...(this place where I dropped him off?) She says, "yes" Mystery Solved!!!!!
I told her to meet me on that corner, I gathered his clothes and met her and said, "you can have him!!!!!!!" We talked for over an hour and she knew his wife (of course)! and gave me the low down! OK
An hour or so later he came to my house probably ran the whole way looking in my eyes with a lost love look. It wasn't the same one he gave the 10 times after coming from her house! Or taking her to Atlantic City in my car the nite he had to go to his house! She told me everything that he had been her lover for 5 years and that was how long he knew me. You know how we believe the woman. She told it all! How she was pregnant twice and lost both babies. God was trying to tell her that he wasn't hers!
She had been taking care of him while he was living with me, telling her lies, too! But she didn't care. He eventually moved her into his house so she could take care of his bills, etc. What a good move on his part. That's who he needed! I had my own house to pay for.
So, dear Leo! My advice, find a less handsome, too into you guy, that loves YOU! Not himself because Scorpio Men love themselves way too much!
PS. The wife and the chick had the same birthdate! Nov 21st. Isn't that the cusp of Scorpio/Sag?
We had an non-fighting altercation where I went to his house, he still wouldn't admit she lived with him. He would ask me for money and begged me to pay his plane far to Jamaica. Well, I went to pick him up at his house, he was in the door. (probably lied to her in the house about some man picking him up) and I took him to the ATM, gave him $200 for his trip.
He called me from Jamaica and said he may need me to pick him up from the airport. I was still in love! OK, he never called back while he was there and later accused me of harassing his family when I called back to him (while he was there). He then called from Florida telling me the plane had problems and I went to the airport to pick him up. Never saw him and he (of course) wouldn't answer his phone for 2 days. I decided to go to his house and get my books he had so I could lay this relationship to rest finally. When I went, it took him 15 minutes to answer the door. He was so busy in there trying to hide the suitcases and her stuff! LOL! When he came to the door, he fumbled wanting me to take my clothes off at the door! I said no and that we'd have to go upstairs. He was STILL LYING! I knew she was living there, but what I didn't know was that she went to Jamaica with him and I was Pissed, because he cam to me for money. (I broke a few things in his house that day) and he filed domestic charges against me with lies! Well, I hired a lawyer and the charges were removed from me and they put a restraining order on him!
They're very vicious when they're unhappy! He talks to you only on the weekend, that's probably when his woman works! Trust me Scorpio's have to have more than 1 woman!
Also, I'm an all that Leo! I have many guys who want to be with me! We are an asset! Don't forget that about yourself. Stop apologizing - he's using you. Yeah, he may have some feelings, but he has too much going on to be YOUR man. Stop wasting your time! I went through all the calls he wouldn't answer when he was with the other woman! I see the signs girl! I've totally been there!
IT ALMOST SOUNDS LIKE THE SAME MAN, except he's a shrink! PLEASE DON'T LET HIM SHRINK YOU! YOU'LL BE SORRY TO HAVE WASTED SO MUCH TIME!
Read Russell Simmons' book "DO YOU!!"
I'm a turaus"the bull",even though i'm dating me exact opposite,"scorpio",man,he's wonderful to me and treats me like a goddess.
I can definatly see where both of us are oppisites,but the same,they say taraus and scorpio are "the most divine enimies of the zodiac",well if that the case could'nt it go the other way to ,"the most divine friends of the zodiac too"?
We have known each other too scince we were children also well teenagers anyway!
We were I believe always in love,even when we did'nt give ourselves a chance to find out when we were teenagers,it was'nt till we were adults till we acually got together.
I told him the last time we got together,that we would be together when the time was right,that was ten years ago,now i'm back from outta state and ready to start a family or go to school.
So point is scorpio men make great lovers,I coul'nt be happier.....
Roxanne aka Cupcake