Need help from geminis out there! PLS HELP!!!
This is sort of a repeat post about the same situation. But i really do need some insights. Just want to ask any gemini out there:
Have you ever broke up with someone and changed your mind and do something about it? Or do you do nothing even if you regret? Or rather have you even regretted?
Here is just a bit about my situation. My gemini guy was with me for 4.5 yrs, we were both loyal, enjoyed talking to each other and close. Started a LDR earlier this year due to studies. I visited him in June for 3 days and we had a good time. However just 2 weeks ago, he told me that his definition of love changed and he no longer thinks he love me and suggested separation. Is there still hope? We almost never quarrel though sometimes i might complain that he wasn't putting in enough effort?
Also if i want another shot at the relationship, is it better to maintain no contact or low contact? I do understand that gemini need their space...
any insights is much appreciated. pls help!!!
Well I am a Gemini, May 27th and I can tell you that when Gemini's are done, it it usually permanently. Sorry to tell you that. Also, Gemini's hate old girlfriends/boyfriends that cling on after a break up. My advise, live your life, don't allow this break up to define you. Life is a series of old baggage packing itself up and new adventures beginning. Look, I realize that your heart is breaking, but it is never good to linger and wish for people to find their way back to us. For now it is best to give him his space. However giving him his space does not mean you should withdraw yourself from life and all the good things waiting for you to discover.
This break up does not define you, in fact, you had a life long before 4 1/2 years ago. Get back to your roots. Use this opportunity to find out who you really are. Explore new things and rekindle old. You are just experiencing life and you have two choices, #1---wait around for things to come your way, or #2---getting yourself out there and finding what you want.
Thank you my viewpoint for that prompt response. Yap I know I need to move on. But the change was sudden and is taking a bit more time to get over. Thanks anyway for telling me the hard truth...
It will take some time, but I believe I would heal and become better...
Yes, myviewpoint is so right. I'm a Scorpio woman, with a lot of Geminis around me...??!!
I not only would say to get on with your life, ( very attractive to the Gemini, BTW
but, in general, Right-On Life Advice!!!!
I can't say it any better than myviewpoint.
Maybe why I seem to always be around the Geminis!!!!
They're great thinkers, fast and fabulous with words!
Anyhow, L, Best of Luck, girl!
I'm afraid I agree with myveiwpoint, he may have told you suddenly but this has been a long time coming in his mind. I'm sorry he hurt you.
thanks sexygem and score for your comments.
i just realised that he had been really stressed due to school and all (he is in a military institute). and i wasn't helping with my belief that we need to keep in contact and all during the relationship.
we still do talk normally and stuff. and realised that he has changed from he don't love me to he doesn't know if he loves me? what does it mean when a gemini man says he does not know if he loves you? is this equivalent to feeling nothing at all?
i admit that i am imperfect and need to learn to be more independent, which i am trying to work on. i don't intend to go after him or do anything till i learn to love myself and be comfortably independent again.
tell me what you guys think? many thanks.
Hi Lynette! i agree with myviewpoint too.
In answer to your questions : He probably feels something for you but maybe not "love" in the passionate sense of the word or in the sense that the relationship may turn into happy ever after. Don't beat yourself up over thinking you're imperfect ....the relationship seems to have run its course, as some unfortunately do. He may have been stressed out at military school but your belief in keeping contact during the relationship was not wrong, so don't let go of your beliefs. You probably just outgrew each other. You must let him go...its painful but dry your tears, you are young and the whole world is out there waiting for you to embrace it. What you need to learn to do is to enjoy your independence being single and fancy free, you may need to build up your self confidence and smile alot. Treat yourself to some pampering - a new outfit, hair do etc...that would help give you a boost. It won't be long before someone really captures your heart....
When a Gemini man says he doesn't know if he loves you, he has already moved on, I'm sorry to say.
However, I do think you should count your lucky stars that this came about now, and not much later down the road. It's been my experience (I was married to a Gemini guy, and am also a Gemini myself) that Gemini men love the look of love, and don't invest enough of themselves to actually experience the substance of love. It's on the surface for them.
And I agree with Myviewpoint - When a Gemini is over it, it's done. No going back. At least that's how it is for me.
I think you've gotten some sound, heartfelt advice, and need to focus on you right now. Do the work you want to do on you, and good things will come.
My wisdom to you - Never let a relationship define you, and don't lose yourself in it. It's supposed to compliment who you are, not make you over into someone you're not.
Oh, and stay away from those flaky Gemini men!
I'm a gemini female and have dated gemini males also. I have to agree with many people on here that once we ARE REALLY DONE, we are. Now, I might tell you I'm done but just as fast beg for forgivness. I get impulsive. You will know within hours if I was just being dumb and walking out an never really intending it. But if you don't hear from me, I'm done. I tend to cast people out and have a nasty habit of not even being nice about it. Meaning, I will not talk to you again. Now after time, I have had several people come back and try to talk and maybe months later I will say hi but once in my mind if it is done--I've truly walked away and am already onto the next person. Thats another trait is that geminis DON'T WASTE anytime finding someone new if it already hasn't happened. I'm so sorry to say that. We tend to be big flirts and keep tabs on people we may want to know in the future. Thats me though. Gemini's have to talk, and if there was a point where he wants to not end this...he would have already let you know by now. I'm sorry. I don't mean to sound shallow. But this is coming from a Gemini. Sweetie, I wouldn't waste time yourself, feel better. I know, I have had my heart broken too and I still feel the hurt from months ago. I have had several friends to help ease the pain but only time will be the true healer. Take care of yourself. I honestly believe that if it is meant to be, it will be. You can't force things and if there is a chance he will come back he will. But in the meantime, stay busy, empower yourself by getting back out there and seeing people, friends, family, etc. Most importantly, SMILE. Even if you don't feel like it....DO IT
I am not a gemini, a virgo actually but was with a gemini for many years. From personal experience I know that they can be real ***holes. Usually they feign emotion they do not feel, if they do feel anything it is usually only for a short time. Self-interest is the name of the game. A word of advice get out while the getting is good. (Trust me, you are lucky on this count) Thank your lucky stars that he does want to end it. And cut off all contact. However, when the gemini guy and I split up, he did come back to me a couple of times after breaking it off.... but it was usually just to jerk me around or because he wanted something from me.
This is my first time doing this, but the topic really caught my eye. Lynette, you really did get some really great advice. Its honest and given with shared personal experiences. I'm a Gemini woman, married to a Taurus man. Don't get me wrong though, I used to date a Gemini man and it was sooooooo wrong. We had fun but he was not one for commitment. The attention span for a Gemini can be short lived and we are easily distracted. Take what you have learned from that 4 yr. relationship and apply it to your future prospects. What did you like, love, or hate about it? Right now, self improvement should be number 1 on your to do list, which is why I'm sure you're in school right now. Trust me when I say, that being in a stressful relationship only brings worries and distractions that would have interferred in your school work. Stay focus and better yourself because the higher being is at work preparing you for something and someone better. I know this from personal experience!!!! Love and care for yourself now, so that you can love and care for others later. Stay strong b/c only time will ease the hurt and pain your feeling right now!!!!
P.S. When he tries to come back (and he will), don't let yourself get suckered in with his charm. It will only be a test to see if you will let him back with ease, just to see what he can get away with if you let him!!!!
I am a gemini too. And I have to say I agree with the sage advice you have recieved so far. First of all, LDR's are just plain tough,no matter what sun signs are involved. I am not the typical gemini in that I WANT things to last forever, and usually do take a man back when he flakes out on me (hurt the worst by Pisces and Libras!) and I must say: count the relationship experience for what it was, and read a valuable book called , He's Scared, She's Scared, about commitment phobias. It really made me see what I had been missing...but all the signs were there that my Libra (last relationship) was gonna run. Geminis may be flaky, ...but....anyone scared of commitment can be too. It can happen to anyone,anytime. Best of luck to you.
p.s. as a gemini, I REFUSE to date other geminis!
as a gemini myself i agree with everybody else and will add something else it is always hard for other people to be around us because its hard to live with 2 personalties a gemini tends to be able back and forth really fast and other times it takes us really slow like a turtle and it probaly took hime a long time to get to the point of telling you he wanted to move on so dont look back and while you are getting there dance with joy
Wow i cant believe all this shit that I'm reading. Look i am a Gemini and i have been in relationships that lasted for for years but never did they make it to 4 and a half. As a Gemini yes im very back and forth on alot of this and even question my feelings for the one im with but never have i left a relationship that i put so much time and effort in to without looking back and regretting it. I dont know if im the only Gemini out there that feel this way but if he ever did truly love you then he isnt done for good, he just hasnt figured it out yet. i am still in love with every girl i ever fell for and i am really in love with my ex and believe me after what all she has pulled i should hate her but i cant and if your man ever did you love he will never be able to forget it and it may take time for him to figure it out but when he does he will regret it. Your problem resides in our pride for his pride will not allow him to come back to you unless he feels that it was you that came back to him so if he does come back dont make things to hard or you will scare him off. If he comes to you and he wants you back he wont just come out and say it. He will throw on the charm and make you want him. Now you can choose to allow it or not but thats all in what you are willing to risk because we can also be really wishy washy. As a Gemini that has seen love and loss first hand i feel for you and as for the rest of yall that are saying what assholes we Geminis are you dont really know us for we can turn out to be the sweetest person you ever met you just havnt taken the time to get to know or understand us. Most of us come off as assholes to start but we dont mean it we just need people to stick around long enough you figure it out.
thank you so much everyone for your input and encouragement. i really do appreciate it a lot.
i do realise the importance of living for myself, finding myself and being independent. it has in fact been 3 weeks after our break up. and i am glad to tell you guys that i am coping well emotionally, though i am also trying to catch up with uni work and getting used to being single.
it had been good while it lasted, lots of interesting conversation and sense of connection, learning to sit beside him and hug him and just to be there when he is down, listening to him while he says all that he has on his mind and figures things out. he was there for me too, when i needed it. there are downsides to every relationship, but there are also lots of good.
i understand very well that geminis are stubborn, thinks and considers a lot, rockynash, and so i wanted to hear what other geminis think. i do know that even if one day he changes his mind, he might not come back to look for me because of his pride. i also recognise that while geminis share common traits, each and every one is different in their own way. i don't know what our ending will be. but for now, i believe he needs his space and i should enjoy my life and not stay put waiting.
but is there any other geminis out there who think like rockynash?
i am moving on by focusing my time and energy on my studies, family and self-improvement. i am leaving the relationship part of my life aside and coming back to it when i feel that the time is right. or perhaps one day when i myself realise that the feelings are gone? time will tell how much he means to me.
thank you everyone for bothering to reply. it touches me to know that people care, even though we might never meet. thank you. and i hope that everyone will have a nice day.
I agree on your thoughts....I am a gemini, born on the strongest day the 28th of May and am based on emotion. I love and hate equally, but am loyal with my heart and will never forget the moments that truely were the best I ever had. I had a boyfriend, a leo, we got engaged and were together alomost 5 years, completely faithful until I had it with the ego, stubbornness, and argumentativeness. He went away and I really thought hard and though we are now over, he gave me so much to remember. I will not be with him again, but will never forget him. I t was so passionate, but not what I wanted so I did what was best for me right now. I may feel different and because of that I won't let myself get too close. Love scares me as most Geminis, but don't look down because your scared of people "latching" on to you. I think why we are quick to move on from close relationships is because we know our guard will be let down completely and that leaves us too vulnerable.
HI I AM A 46 YERA OLD AQUARIUS WOMEN. i HAVE LOVED THIS GEMINI PERSON FOR YEARS. WE HAVE ALWAYS LEFT EACH OTHER AND ALWYAS ENDED UP BACK TOGETHER. HE HAS TOLD ME MANY TIMES THAT HE WASS THUR WITH ME, AND I WOULD BE SO HURT. THEY WOULD ALSO HURT YOUR FEELING AND WON'T EVEN THIONK TWICE ABOUT. I ALSO NOTICE FOR SURE THAT THEY WOULD MIMC, OR HOW EVER YOU TREAT THEM THEY WILL TREAT YOU THE SAME WAY. THAT'S THEY TYPE OF GEMINI I ENCOUNTERED. BEFORE I WOULD NOT UNDERSTAND UNTIL ON DAY I JUST SAT AND FUGURED IT OUT, HE'S TIC FOR TAC. SO I HAVE STARTED TREATING HIM THE WAY I WANTED TI BE TREATED AND SAY I HOPE THAT IT'S NOT TO LATE. NOTICE IF YOU GIVE THEM THEIR SPACE THEY WILL COME BACK AROUND. I REALLY BELIEVE THAT GEMININ ARE ABLE TO LOVE AND WHEN YOU FIND A GEMININ THAT LOVES YOU IT IS SPECIAL. JUST WISH THEY WHERE NOT SCARED TO SHOW IT. I LOVE MY GEMINI AND HE JUST TURNS ME ON. I THINK THEY WONDERFUL IN BED. MS AQUARUS
please rest assure that i still remember the main advice given here that when a gemini man says he is done, he really is. but i have some other questions...
it has been 4 weeks since we broke up. we had no contact for the past 7 days because he went overseas. prior to his trip, we still talked on the phone and on IM and he even remarked how he likes our relationship now. basically we can still talk and connect, but we are just not a couple anymore. i don't know if i should contact him when he is back from his trip? i believe that he still feel something, but i am unsure as we are currently still in a LDR and i would only see him in december.
also, the main reason we broke up was because he is unsure if he loves me. but aren't all geminis unsure since they are forever pondering? also, what led to the final decision of him breaking up was also because he was reading a book and felt strongly about a point on being honest with everything in life. so "to be honest to himself", he decides to break up? is there any geminis out there who have been influenced by ideas in books? (he did reason and rationalise these ideas too.)
And is there any geminis out there who ever regretted and went back to their ex? or is such regret and looking back unheard of? =/
i have been working on becoming more independent and is a lot less emotional. but there are just all these questions in my head. hope someone can help. many many thanks.
I'm back, well the answer to question #1. Should you contact him after he returns from his trip.
I beleive he is treating your relationship as a friendship, rather than a love. You can contact him from a frienship stand point, but, my advice would be, to not contact him. Gemini's hate the unknown. I think he expects you to just be there. You need to rock his world a little bit and steer away from the expected. He needs to know you will not always be there like you would have if you were still in a love relationship. Beleive me, this will get his Gemini mind moving and it won't be long before he contacts you on your terms. Gemini's like strong people. Strong with emotion and conviction.
As a Gemini myself I always am reading self help books and just soaking up knowledge, but Gemini's have great minds of their own and regardless of what they read in a book they will always do what they want, not what a book suggests. I do believe however, that a book could of swayed him in a direction that he would not have normally gone too. Over time he will ponder if he made the right choice, BUT, ONLY if you dissappear for a while. Don't call him just move on and it will drive him nuts! He won't be able to stand it and come looking for you before to long.
I have never gone back and forth with my Exe's but that's because they bombarded me with begging and pleading to please come back for one more try. I hate that, it is a real turn off and will only push us farther away.
I hope this helps, keep me posted.
WOW, everything on here is so right! I myself am a cusper, gemini and cancer so I tend to feel from all over. And rocky is right if he ever did really love you hell never really get over you. Its the fact the gemini's are always all over the map. Especially if your an aquarius women. I always find myself always being attracted to aquarius, libra, or other gemini's. So my best advice is just move on. If he's in another state especially. We are very stunnorn and adapt quickly and dont always like change so we adapt to places and kind of nest until were ready to go. But once a hcange is made we usually keep going . Emotion is what usually catches me even if the relation was bad from the start. If I'm in love and its over it takes a while to move on, but once this happens no turning back.We can be complicated folk :). But we are best of all worlds.