How to read my cancers actions/behaviour ??? please help !
yep I went to the party and there was a lot of people.... party was awesome, we were all quite drunk... except him... he was sober- so he told me the next day....
anyway I didn't get to talk to him in a serious manner... we were all hanging out .... but then him and I left everyone and we kissed again, I was sooooooo happy... we kept doing the disappearing act couple of times during the party, to kiss.... the attraction was sooo strong.... anyways.... the next day... nothing.... just small talk here and there- no mention of the kiss... so I confronted him in an email he said, he is seeing someone but its just fresh.... so yea.... I gave him my spiel... explaining to him.... how I feel...... later on in the week he told me he doesnt feel the same way.... and he said he likes hanging out with me.... and that yes there is attraction strongly, but he doesn't feel nothing but a friend.... to what I responded saying ,, well a friend is someone you need to get to know.... and you haven't given it a chance yet. that was my last contact with him, because I decided I am letting him be and if he is interested he will come after me.... so after a week of o contact with him ( and do remember we work together ) he sends me an 1 liner email today , telling me what photo camera he will be buying ( because some time ago we exchanged emails regarding photography information as its my hoby and he asked me what I think etc etc)
to which I responded- in a 1 liner : I have seen it and it seems cool.
that is it for now.... I am laying low with him... no intention of showing anymore emotions or making moves... however we will be attending another party this sat... soo.... fingers crossed we get to have a heart to heart , I will be happy with that, even if nothing happens ..... would be good to clear the air, because I do think he is a good person and we started on a wrong note and if thats how it is ( well part of it is my fault- I never thought I would fall like this)
and if he feels that it cant go anywhere, well so be it... I will be happy to stay friends and keep the harmony. I do want the best for him,, and have no regrets liking him and telling him how I feel, it was honest and real. now its up to him. ( I am not giving up, just know it n my heart and am happy to keep it close to my heart the love I feel for him, even though I dont really know him )
I feel humble and all will be good in the long run. But yes, I still want him
sh...... dnt tell anyone
I forgot to add in my last post, i want to thank you all, you all made good points, some of them i didnt like but its truth, well my actions did look like that, but most of my actions werent intentional and i wasnt into him for fun, and to drop him just like that, i am a very sensitive girl, and not into one night stands,,,, yes, I do feel the attraction and when i do its usually instant.... and thats what i go for,,, and I am there 100% . all the way, very loyal capricorn woman. But I have to feel it from the other side first before I gave it all, in this case I gave it all he knows how I feel, I would never normally do that, well never have HA ! so to me thats something, I guess i should have played it easy and cooler.. but whats done is done , i have no regrets, obviously my emotions took over, but I am back to myself, in control and waiting to see what will unfold, awwwww... how exiting Life is
almost 3 months later... after loads of ignoring each other, avoiding each other etc etc....
once again work party.... I ask him are we cool.. he looks at me and tells me yea we are cool... i say for sure.. he saz ... your just hard sometimes... no idea what he meant with that because I havnt been in touch or chasin him at all... left him alone for a while.... i felt heartbroken.. but choose to ignorre it and have a good nght... went to the dancefloor .. then a ute guy from work started dancing with me.... at that stage ... my cancer man who was on the dancefloor too ignoring me.. turned around and asked me if I want to go outside for a cigarette... i agreed and off we went.... we went to a quite spot in the parking lot and light our cigarettes... he put his arms around my waist and kissed me.... after that i had to know whats ging on... so I asked him.... why does he avoid me... why does he leave the group everytime i coem around... why cant he just be normal and friendly with me and just be friends type of thing....he told me.... he cant because.... he cant be close to me... he just cant be there near me... i asked him why? he then said.. because he is attracted to me.. and gets turned on and feels he cant handle it. I was sooooo shocked to hear that i always thoguht he hated me or somwthing.. or taht I was just too annoying.. not that i thougt that.. cuz they were no grounds for it but still.. you start wondering why .. so yea i got my answer finally.... but now what ? HA !
i like him loads... i dont want just sex ..... so i didnt want to lt myself go that night....... despite him telling me to let go... i just said I cant.
what do you think ? just see what happens?
ah.. the days of my life.... I just want to be with him