Understanding my Scorpio man
I’m a pisces and I’ve been dating a scorpio for about 4 months now. When we met I told him that things needed to be taken slowly and he agreed as he felt that he had always been commitment phobic, being 40 and only having had one significant relationship (and this was long distance and less than 2 years). I had thought he’d be a safe bet, knowing that I had always had the tendency to move quickly in relationships which has never worked out in the end.
My scorpio man and I have come a long way in four months, most of which seemed to be guided by him. He’s already taken me on two trips, he’s brought me to family dinner at Grandma’s house, he was anxious for me to meet all of his close friends and he talks about marriage and children quite often (in general…not making plans with me, or so I don’t think).
So you’re probably wondering what my issue is here, well this is the first time I’ve dated a scorpio and I’ve had the fear put into me by friends who have been stung by them before. I can honestly say that I don’t think I’ve ever really been ‘in love’ before as I’ve been in three very long term, serious committed relationships and have always walked away without too much emotional turmoil and continued on my journey with no issues.
This one is different. I find myself making a conscious effort to keep up a strong, independent façade in front of him. He’s on my mind, day and night and even in my dreams. I have to keep myself busy for fear that I might contact him too much. I seem to do well when we’re not around each other, but sometimes when we’re even in the same room, the intensity is so strong I find it hard to breathe. I’m struggling to keep control over my emotions and what scares me is that from one day to the next he changes and I can’t quite figure out his intentions or how he is feeling towards me.
Some days I think ‘there’s no doubt about it, this man obviously feels the same about me as I do with him’ and then the very next week I find myself wondering if I’m just being naive in thinking this because he becomes distant, or distracted. He’s never given me any other reason to think that he’s not in this, it’s just these infrequent moments that he seems…different.
I guess what I am trying to determine here is whether or not I should let go of my fears and dive in, taking the risk that I might feel the painful sting of a scorpio man, or should I continue to hold my wall up, only letting him in when it feels safe and at the same time preventing this from going somewhere that could potentially be something amazing?
Can anyone give me some more insight on what to look for in my scorpio man to alert me that he is not on the same boat as me?
Hi there. I read your post and it sounds like you have a nice relationship so thats a good start. I think the intensity you are feeling is because you are falling in love with him. You are wanting to know if he loves you too. I think he does, just the feeling I get. But is maybe a little nervous about letting you know this right now. Scorpios are very emotional creatures. Not outwardly though. He is working through his own emotions about you and possible other things going on in his life (probably work related). When he starts to get a little distant those wheels are turning and he is unable to let you in at that moment. Its really not a big deal. All men do this if they are healthy, its called going to the cave. If you interrupt a man in his cave you will get burned by the dragon, so beware. The only reason you are so acutely aware of him pulling back from you is because you feel a deep connection to him and you are in love. You are scared of losing him. Just be patient and when he pulls away go ahead and give him that space so when he is ready to share himself with you again he will be all the more loving towards you. My dad is a scorpio and his first marraige with my mom did not work out he was not ready to settle down and it was very obvious. When he met my strpmom he was ready and they have had a wonderful loving relationship for 20 years. I think this man is thinking about his future and he wouldnt bring it up if he wasnt wanting you to be part of it. Just keep doing what you are doing as far as occupying your time when hes not there. All men appreciate a woman that doesnt rely on a man for constant entertainment. Its a very attractive quality to be secure enough with yourself to beleft alone from time to time. Just go ahead and let your gaurd down a little when he is loving towards you so he knows you care too. I get the feeling you keep your gaurd up with him. You only need to do that when he is in retreat mode. I hope you find happiness with each other the world needs more healthy , loving relationships like the one you have found. Congrats!
Hello sensitive Pisces lady~
I have been with a Scorpio man for over 13 years. My experience with the intensity & passion of the loyal Scorpio is similar. The intense passion the Scorpion brings to relationship is fabulous when it's focus is on you. It's just not always going to be on you. That is normal. And yet when it is it is divine, eh~! Scorpions have secrets. Not necessarily harmful, it is another interesting aspect of Scorpio. I'd pay attention to his actions and remember that as a piscean your nature is more sensitive and at times more illusionary. Remember who you are in the midst of wondering. I also like to have more astro information with anyone. What else is in the chart? My man has a Sagittarius & Aquarius influence that lends itself to independence & freedom loving. As a Sagittarius Sun & Moon lady, I get the freedom loving aspect. Again, remember that the powerful Scorpio intensity and passion is real. Scorpios are very loyal too unless there is another aspect that mitigates that. It takes allot to alienate a Scorpio. Trust yourself & trust him unless there are real reasons to doubt. All water signs are more emotionally sensitive. I'd set my thoughts on what it is I want. I am infinitely grateful for the peaceful, loving relationship that is easy, honest & kind with my man. Any time unreasonable, irrational, illusionary fear creeps in, go back to the intentions and be amused at that sensitive Pisces girl who loves deeply as well. Be gentle with yourself~
Thank you both so much for your responses! I've been reading different forums targeted towards understanding scorpio men and I have to say, it had me worrying even more. It seems that there are more women out there who don't make it with these men, I was starting to wonder where all of the women were who have succeeded in order to grasp a positive outlook on this chapter in my life. I'm positive that this relationship is different. It's almost as if we have a common, unspoken understanding and often we know how the other feels without word.
I always give him his space and he gives me mine. I just have to keep reminding myself that no matter how long this relationship lasts, it's better for me to fly with the eagle and crash, then to never fly at all.