Leo woman wants to leave Libra man. how do i save the relationship
this is my first time here and actually doing this sort of thing. any ways i'm a libra and myy girl is a leo. we have been together for 4 years. we have been through a lot together from moving from one state to another and back, to having a child. recently i have been noticing that is very distant and our sex life has been affected because of it. i tryed to talk to her last week but said that she is tired of trying to talk to me and me not listening. i don't recall that happening. i love her and want to do anything to keep her by my side. she told me she is not sure if she wants to stay or leave me. i wonder if that has anything to do with the compatibility between libra and leo. please if any one can help me i will be talking to her today. please respond as soon as you can. i am desperate and don't know what to do.
Have you tried giving her flowers? That would be my first suggestion. What about making a nice romantic, candlelite, dinner? I would try to do a few nice things and make an attempt to let her know that you really do care. If she is still distant and reserved then she may need some space. I would give her sometime to be by herself. In the mean time you should focus on your needs and what is good for you. There are other people who you care about and you should also devote some of your time energy towards them. Talk to a close friend about your concerns. It may be good to hear what they have to say.
May the angels watch over you and those around you,
With love & blessings,
i have tryed giving her favorit flowers, her fav song, and am taking her out tonight. she doesn't say i love you back to me anymore and bearly lets me kiss and hug her. what should i say when we talk tonight? should we give it another chance or take a break or leave all together??
p.s. do you think this is a compatibility problem between libra and leo?
Lovinglibra, this is a long response. Please bear with me and read it all.
Sadly I don't think yours is an issue of the stars. I think it's a lot closer to home. Her saying she's sick of trying to talk and you not listening is probably key, and you must realise it too or you wouldn't have mentioned it. You don't provide many details except that you're not sure where this all came from.
I think it's maybe better to ask mutual friends of yours and hers. Ask the husbands/boyfriends, not the wives ~ they will have discussed it most likely, but it's safer as a man for you to confide in the men if you're vulnerable or new and confusing emotions may come in that you might mistake for something else. Failing that, ask her family. Be prepared fur unpleasant surprises, and don't fight them. It might be that you've possibly been oblivious, careless, or worse, selfish.
If you find out it is all down to you, don't waste too much time kicking yourself over it. Do apologise, do accept responsibility, and then get on with what needs changing. Really make the effort, and let her see that you are doing it. If you've been falling into harmful or careless habits, it may even be you need councelling. Do it. Schedule it quickly, and get going. Don't complain about it or drag your feet or she'll believe you really don't care, you're just trying to delay or make a show of it, without wanting to actually change. Be open to change and suggestions, and don't fight them if they're warranted. Also be careful not to lose yourself in the process, though. If you were all-bad, she wouldn't have been with you in the first place.
It might also be that she's just wanting out. This seems like it has been building up over a period of time (from the little you've shared). It could be too late already.
Oh, and at your dinner, ask her how her day is, and really listen. Try to smile and be the fun person she remembers (assuming "fun" is one of the things about you she originally fell in love with). Try to be the "old you" in the best possible way. See her as the woman you are trying to woo. Don't be the drowning man dragging her down in your panic. Try to think back to when you were dating (her and others). Even if you went through stressful times, you managed to talk and laugh over dinner. Don't remind her of stresses and sadness right now. Be her happy retreat, not the thing she has to retreat from.
By the way, whose idea were all the moves between states? Was she resistant? Resentful at having to start all over again a few times? Think back to every time you've had arguements. Do you see any common themes? What kind of things was she saying then? Does she keep having to say the same things to you? Why is that? Are you sick of her saying the same things? Do you consider she says them because you might not be listening, and keep doing the same thing over and over again that she feels obliged to say that thing, yet again, to try to get you to stop or start (whatever the case may be)?
I know it seems like a lot to ask, and you might feel phony doing this. It's only for a brief time that you'll have to be Mr. Sunshine, while you actually work on what's wrong (but you've got to put in that work in the background). You're not fooling her, you're just supporting her by taking your misery off her plate (sometimes people need to do that for each other). She needs to start trusting you again if there is any saving your relationship. She needs to know that you are not just letting her talk, but that you are really listening and thinking about what she is saying. She needs to know that you care enough to really change. She needs to know that you're still the man she fell for all those years ago.
Now, you didn't give many details, so some of this may be accurate, and some may be off-base; you could already be doing some of this well ~ so please forgive my assumptions. Give her time, but don't be a puppy dog or a door mat. Do you have hobbies? Apply yourself to them, even if you don't feel like it. Learn to be good at something positive. Do things you are good at, because it will give you confidence (another plus in her mind, I'm sure). Don't be clingy or desperate (even though when you're losing your love, that is probably how you feel). Does she do most or all of the work around the home and with your child? Help her out with it, but don't wait on her hand-and-foot. Take on some real responsibilites and do them properly, without complaint. You both live there, and you are both the parents. You can both put in the effort. Don't become her servant, and don't pander to her, but be more aware of her feelings. Do you rely solely on her for your entire amusement/life/interests? Learn to be a little self-sufficient, not dependent. She has a child, she doesn't need her husband to be one too. Go out with your friends once in a while, or if you go out too much then try staying home a bit. Offer to watch your child while she goes out with her friends, too.
It really may be too late. If it is you have to accept it. After asking her to stay and reconsider once or twice, if she really does say it's too late, you have to let her go. Let her go because you love her and want her to be happy. It may feel like you'll never be happy again. You will. Give yourself time to grieve, work on bits of your personality and habits that drove her away (if it really was you and not just her) and you will one day find another relationship, and you'll be able to do it better, not making the same mistakes.
It is possible that it is "just her", or that it is "just you", but it takes two people to make a marriage good, and (except where there is extreme selfishness or abuse by one person) it often takes two people to ruin it. It seems, from what you write, that it is ruined. Sometimes these things can be brought back from the dead, but you really have to start from the foundation up, all over again. Start it as a new relationship with her, as you both are now, not as saving the old one, because that one is gone, and you are no longer the same people.
Good luck to you.
leos are visual, physical and vivid people. anything can stimulate or provoke us, and sometimes we don't say it right there but we wait a few days or weeks to say it. when she said that you are not listening. that doesn't always mean you are not using your ears. because our senses, like cats, are alert most of the time unless when we are having fun or minding our own business of course. so she might have made some gestures that you don't pay attention to, and she doesn't say it right there, she just keeps her disappointments bottled up that when she actually told you, you can hardly remember anything because it's been some time. so try make her talk about her problems, and don't laugh or underestimate it because that will turn her off. to make her talk, start by saying 'you are right. I don't listen and I am sorry.' tell her the most logical reason you can come up with. because if she feels you don't make sense then it will end for sure. tell her that she needs to tell you what is it that you have done wrong because you are going to fix it once and for all. if possible, try to hold her hands and look into her eyes when you say this, do all you can to make her senses capture what you are trying to say. good words are ok, but it will stimulate her more if she can feel it in your touch etc that you mean what you say.
I don't know her birthchart but in general this suggestion should help make her open up. Unless she is seeing someone else, know or think that you betray her, simply doesn't love you anymore - in this case I would have to leave it to you to figure it out. compatibility chart might be accurate to certain degree, but you are not supposed to rely on that alone. I am a leo (not cusp) and hubby is Cap ( not cusp either) we have a great time, despite of what astrology chart says.
It's true that leos enjoy first class treatment, but this doesn't always mean diamonds, fancy restaurants or flowers. this could just mean that she is your priority. if she is in pain, you will find her treatment or medication. if she is hungry, you will cook or buy her food. even if it is not the best food she eats, she will see that you make the effort. if she is depressed maybe after birth experience (I read that some mothers experience that raising children can be stressful) you will take turns, she will go out in the weekend and have fun and you can baby sit. She will not forget these small gestures.
From what she is saying, I feel that she is either stressed out or bored. if she wants to leave you, she won't say 'unsure'. so she does want to stay, she just needs to be sure that staying is the right thing to do. whenever you feel appropriate, be firm. you don't need to be angry or making remarks. tell her this 'I love you and I want you to stay. You are mother of my child. My child will stay and so will you'. explain to her things that will help your communication go smooth. this way she might notice some things she didn't do that made you confused and didn't know how to respond. leo is a masculine sign. pretty much women of this sign will not settle for momma boy, indecisive, slow (thinking and acting) personality. in other words, a warrior will interest her more than a king. if you can show a decent amount of 'fight' in you, I'm sure this will stimulate her and your sex life will benefit from it. you can probably say that if she is seeing someone else, you are going to hurt this guy etc. flowers are cool, until they dried up a few days later because someone doesn't water it (oopss) fancy foods are great, until they go down the toilet the next day. like I said we are visual and physical, you don't need high end haircut or perfume. build your masculinity, body and attitude. this will stimulate her senses and you won't regret it.
I wouldn't say I'm an expert on everything leo but at least I am one. It sounds to me like you have created some major offense here with you Leo. Leo's like when their partners listen to them. If she says you have been listening then you need to start. You asked if you should stay together or break up or leave. My advice don't give the option either way. That will only re-enforce the fact that something is wrong in her mind. I also advice just pouring on the charm. Which is something Libra's are supposed to be good at. But never ask a Leo if they want to go seperate ways. This is a diffent no no. Just reassure her you love her and try not to sound like you only want her around because you need her but because you love her. Leo's need to be told that their partners love them alot of the time. We like reassurances. I tell my Libra guy all the time that I love him and find it hurtful when he doesn't say it in return but then that's why I say it for reassurance that he loves me. Keep buying her flowers and doing little things for her and start listening to her more. Then just give her some time and she should come around. I mean seriously how could a leo resist a libra her is constantly telling her he loves her but it seems to me you'll be making up for this awhile. Just keep telling her you love her she'll come around and realize you love her and you don't want to lose her. Trust me you will thank me later.