Need Cancer men introspection.....



  • I had a previous forum topic on the Cancer man (7/9/66) I am in an emotional affair with. It's long distance, I'm in Texas and he is in Cali. He had stopped all communication with me for exactly a month and I received lots of messages about how they like to disappear. Come to find out he was hurt by me being online and "still looking" which was purely an assumption on his part and not true at all as I have very deep feelings for him. We have not physically met and have had telephone, e-mail and text communication for 4 months. He began communicating with me again when I sent a message to him telling him goodbye and good luck. We talked it out electronically vis e-mails and are back to where we were before his hurt feelings, he called it a hiccup. Now, he only e-mails me or sends a text message daily. Mostly its a morning text message telling me to have a good day and how much he loves me. He has not called me by phone and won't explain why when I ask. This is very strange and I wonder why he doesn't want to call me. He did say in our "make up" e-mails that he was stymied by me not having a job and being unmotivated which he says is something hes not. I have my valid reasons for not working right now and have explained these to him. I believe him when he says he loves me and am giving him all the room he needs but not speaking by phone is bothering me and makes me wonder if he really wants to have a moving forward relationship. My birthday is 7/21/57 so we are both Cancers with easily hurt feelings and he's hurting mine. Any input will be absolutely helpful.........



  • A couple of things, as you mentioned;

    1. Not speaking by phone. Well just from what I know, when either of us travel, we limit communication to im, email and texting. Roaming fees and long distance costs can really add up if you spend a lot of time conversing on the phone. If we do call, it’s very short, hi, checking in, everything ok, bye. I don’t mind the costs once in a while, but he’s pretty frugal. You’re not working, so that means he would have to pay for all the calls.

    2. From everything I’ve read, it matters that all areas in your life are stable, including your employment situation. Maybe he feels the reasons you provided weren’t valid?? He might be thinking that he would have to be the sole breadwinner or he could be waiting for you to overcome your current situation??

    Idk, just some thoughts.



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  • I have had an Ex Cancere man..I am Sag. Very stable..be very careful though. The stability of the situation could very well be what the issue is but Cancer men...I have noticed after you hurt them they kinda do a 180 and 'teach' you a lesson aftger you hurt them. Kinda a emotional tug of war. Not healty.

    My issue with Cancer men is yes in fact they do disappear at the most inoppurtune times because THEY are hurting sometimes they don't think of anyone but themselves. Sometimes they miss the big picture because they are so focused on grieving for what may or may not have happened. Just my personal experience.

    First off, you guys have never met in person so until then and until things are set in stone each of you are free to do what you want. He wants you to wait on him, that means he doesn't like the idea of you finding someone else becasue he wants to know you'll always be there when he feels the need for you. Normal tactic I have seen a dozen times. So just be careful, it's a bit of manipulation and control if it gets out of hand.

    I wouldn't worry to much though, go with your gut, and if it's tiem to move on do so and don't worry about it. If he truly loves you he will learn to understand your issues and deal with them as they come and make the effort to support you and not put you down becaus eof your choices. 😉