Reading for me please? Need guidance badly!

  • I have been going through an awful time and it never seems to end.

    No job, do not know what to do either, need schooling for something but anything that is suggested for me is not a possibility for a few reasons. this also means that there is no money, and had my heart broken and shredded recently.

    can anyone give me a reading please and some advice with it?

  • Hi, I believe that opportunities will come to you. Believe in yourself and don't take anything tooo serious ok. Something tells me that for right now you are focusing on the relationship. Once you clear that things will start to look better.

  • thank you. Yes, focusing on the relationship as this was most recent.

    I really hope that opportunities will come to me, not sure in what area... wish for some good things in my life soon!

  • Look at the above, the timeline.

    I am STILL in SUCH PAIN over this!

    My heart has NOT healed, my head is still messed up, my tears still flow, my anger is still in me, depression is hard to fight off...

    I do NOT want to be like this!

    I do NOT want to care about this man that deems me insignificant.

    I DON'T want to have ANY feelings at all about him.

    I don't want to even think of him anymore

    why can't this stop?!

    I keep trying so hard not to think of him... and it doesnt work for long.

    two days max is all I have had without him in my head and heart

    why? why? why can't I just shut this off??!!

    Please someone tell me how to stop this please?

    I don''t have contact with him, I do not talk about him to anyone anymore, and no one talks to me about him, I do not have anything to do with him and I still can't shut down.

    What can I do to escape this torture my brain and heart has trapped me in??

    I am so tired of fighting my mind and heart, I am so tired of trying to re-direct my attention, keeping busy to stop thinking about him, I am so tired.

    I am sitting here with tears pouring down my face because I feel like there is no hope for me anymore

    I don't know what to do anymore

    I have tried so many things to forget or get over him

    I have tried to let go, forget, get the anger out, get rid of him in my heart and mind, I have journaled, I have tried so much,

    I met new people, I don't talk about him or what happened to me

    I am tired of all this pain

    i am just so tired

  • May I suggest the book "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie.

    No one can help but you. No one can stop your pain but you. Looking to others will not take away your pain. Looking for a better reader will not stop it.

    Only you. Only you.

    God bless.

  • Bless your heart, I'm sorry too hear your in such pain. Are you water sign by chance? I don't why I just thought that. All things good and bad have a begining, middle, and an end. Your going through a tough time right now obviously, I think this has been a very challenging year for many, not sure why but it seems too be, so your not alone, their are people who care, time, and focusing on something too get you out of this rut of feeling hopeless without this guy will help. Their will be someone else in your life who won't treat you insignicantly, treat yourself with importance for right now so you can draw better in your near future. The job, well when your ready too let go a bit of the heartache, you will be able too focus on something. School isn't such a bad idea, a lot of people are going back right now for the same reasons. Hang in there, sending healing thoughts your way!

  • could have been writing about me. I'm a litte reversed in the respect that my break up came first 5 months ago, my job ends in 2 weeks and I'm starting the process to figure out what I want to do with my life and what I will be best suited to doing. I qualify for school and will be taking advantage of it. I have found that I too quit talking about him to friends because I figured they were tired of listening to me and I was really just going around and around and replaying everything trying to figure out what could have been different. I believe absolutely that by coming on this site and getting readings and talking with other people...for instance, bluecat above has been wonderful in allowing me to retell my story about my ex and talking thru it and getting a different perspective on it. All of the readings that I have gotten from Captain and so many others have been invaluable to me. I can't change anything right now about what has happened or is going to happen in terms of my past relationship and the loss of my job but I can put myself on a path of enlightenment. I can heal myself and move forward by working on ME. There is a topic about protecting yourself. Very good topic in terms of closing yourself off to protect against pain but I didn't realize I was also blocking myself from love and joy too. An absolute inspiration for me. I did have a horrible day in terms of dealing with all of it and went to a reader/counselor who allowed me to work thru worries with a little insight...and then did a short healing. She also told me to cup my hands over my heart and say that I bless him and release him to do whatever he needs to do. I REALLY didn't want to do that....but I did. I still do it everytime I catch myself dwelling on him again. It does help. Being here and talking and offering other people support....removes me from myself and in turn helps me heal. I am finding a measure of peace here that in turn allows me to move forward everyday with joy. Hang in there...focus on the positive you already have. It will bring you more. BTW...I've only been here participating for about 2 months and am amazed in the changes that have come about. Sending blessings your way....

  • thank you everyone.

    I was told by some on here to stop talking about him, to stop going over what he did to me, and I took that advice.

    It has not changed anything.

    I am VIrgo,

    August 31, 1963

    I do get to a point where I think that the worst is over, and slowly everything seems to get so dark in me again.

    I am on medication for depression, I am seeing counselors, I had taken courses and got into deep debt and I could not get a job from it.

    Kind of scared to get even further in.

    I will look for that book.

    I am not asking for others to take my pain away... I was asking for someone to help me learn how to deal with it to get rid of it.

    There is no magic pill, no magic words, to help me, I know that.

    I have tried so many different things, followed advice from more than one person, had people get mad at me because I didn't 'snap out of it' or 'forget him'.

    I just do not understand why my mind and heart are torturing me over someone who hurt me repeatedly, intently, and badly.

    and struggling hard to stop caring, thinking, everything.

    stop crying, stop hurting.

    thank you everyone for posting

  • You want too talk about him? tell us everything, I mean everything, I will personally will let you vent too your hearts content! I don't know how long will want too, but if you feel like you want too say something about him, or anything else, go ahead. I know I have felt that way before as well, I found myself not wanting too say too much as time went on, we are all different, I suppose you will know if they want you too not talk about it because they are tired of it, or if they have your best interest in mind, they may feel as if that truly what you will keep him fresh in your mind if you acknowledge him, sometimes the best way really can be too give it, or a person No attention too help your self get use too that, and clear the way too move forward. Just take a deep breath through your pain, and try too remember how things go up and down, you'll be bac up again! I love your birthday by the way! Two of my favorite people in the world, they were August 30th, and Auguest 31st, my grandparents, I grew up between two virgos, so they have a natural soft spot for them! Aunt Buck probably knows how you feel right now too, damn those men! I was told once by a wise woman that going on too discover your own self worth is vital, because you do have something too give back, going too live the best life is truly the best revenge on pain.

  • Sorry I meant don't know how long you will want too you vent, Not me! gees, I'm the queen of typos!

  • Aunt Buck mentioned that I let her tell about her hurt, but I feel honored when someone wants too tell me! She really helped me too with a big problem I had recently!

  • Thank you bluecat123.

    You are a very sweet person. I do not know if continuing to talk about him and all that has happened is a good thing or not.

    I have not talked about him for awhile now until here. Maybe that was a mistake to write about him again too.

    I just don't know what to do anymore.

    I am so very tired.

    thank you again.

  • I bet you are tired, I feel like your cried out one minute, but it grips you again, your a reasonable person dealing with a painful problem. I feel like your asking yourself what you did or what you could have done, like blaming yourself, start from today, yet again, don't worry about what you could have done if thats the case, you didn't do anything wrong. Keep us posted, as much as you want, step by step it will improve, you weren't meant too suffer forever, that will end for the better!

  • Hi Sable31. The heart and head will always try to control us. That is why I do the latihan in Subud. It has helped me, healed me, to receive that. Good that you continue to ask for help with this. Better than accumulating pain is to ask for help in how to stop. Wish you the best. To me reading religious texts has helped, actually no matter what religion. It is like reading poetry to me, but not for everyone as people are different with different needs.

  • Hi Sable31,

    I am sorry to hear about your pain. I am in the same situation. Been there, done that and still in the process of healing. Career setback a few months ago, followed by a painful break up 2 months later and the loss of a beloved brother about a month and the half ago! I am still wondering if I should expect more to come and how can I be prepared for it. This forum and meditation is keeping me sane at this phase of my life.

    The last break up hit me like a rock on my head and my head is still bleeding. I guess it is natural since I have not love anyone for 7 years before I was in this last relationship. I thought this relationship is the ONE! I thought after being patient for 7 years and allowing myself to heal and be free, I will be rewarded with an everlasting love. Wrong! How naive of me.

    So if you want to talk, want to vent out, want to curse on someone, do it. Bluecat123 is willing to listen and so am I. I believe it is important to be able to talk to someone or to be able to express how you feel. If you want to keep still about it, it is okay too. I really feel for you and I hope you will get through this as easy as possible.

    Angelreader told me to seek help from Archangel Michael. I never talk to angels before but I took her advice. I must say, it helps me a lot. Whenever I am alone, I will start a conversation with Michael. I will talk to him, vent all my anger and ask for his help. Maybe you want to try this too? Just a suggestion....

    Good luck and keep us posted! Bless you.

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