How do you know when a cancer is 'testing' you?

  • Sorry to butt in, just have to get some posts past all the spam (thanks alot Kelly110 - yeah I'm being sarcastic!). Two pages of spam is a bit much, wish they'd buzz off somewhere else.

  • Oooohh......that makes sense. LOL no, Aqua, those were not my exact words. My exact words were a lot...I was trying to shorten it for the forum. I guess whats more accurate is I said...well, basically I apologized for any questions i asked that made him uncomfortable. I am an Aries through and through, and I am insanely blunt. I asked him questions that apparently he thought were too much, so I apologized for that. But basically I said, I want our relationship to be the most that it could be. I know I made things awkward, so lets start from the beginning like it was before. I value him as a person and I really just want us to have the best relationship we can, however he's most comfortable. I tried to take responsibility for as much as I could, saying I realized I was the one who kept brining up relationships and whatever...I didn't blame him for a thing. But your right, he probably saw I was still nervous...but I was only nervous because he hadnt answered me so i didnt know if i'd offended him. Man...I assumed this was gonna make things simple, LOL.

    And I was peter pan for halloween, so I had a little like...shirt thing on and short shorts. He seemed to like it, LOL.

  • He is confused by your message about friendship and then when he see you he can sense, feel, and see your need, yearning, desire, wishing, and hoping. It is a contridiction adn for him your behavior is confussing at best, scary at worst.

    If you want to make things simple and not ruin any chance for a frienship or relaionship Leave him alone (for now).

    FYI: If he find out that you have been discussing him with girl A and the new chick he will be mad at you. He will think that you are trying to ruin his rep or spreading falsehood. Give him and all 3 ladies a break for now.

  • Ok, got it…still, things have to be worded very carefully. One time I sent a non-confrontational note which I thought was quite nice and believe it or not, he was insulted and angry about it.

    I need to ask this though, because I don’t know that there is anything anyone can say that will bring closure to a situation unless we are prepared to close it ourselves. So unless we are ready to accept the situation as it is, what can he say? This is something I’ve been thinking about since I read your note last night.

    Another thing, my sun is in the 4th house, natural ruler of the 4th is Cancer and even though I’m an Aquarian I take on a lot of the Cancer tendencies. I am also protective of my inner core and I do not like someone poking around at it. I will shut down completely if I feel I’m being invaded, but I can be pretty open when I choose to be and feel comfortable with a person. Otherwise, I will instinctively put up an extra guard. Now that I understand what took place a little better, that’s probably why he became guarded.

    Haha…how appropriate…Peter Pan. Where have I read that Cancers are the Peter Pan’s of the zodiac.

  • especially yourself maria. give yourself a break you're quite mean to yourself. You've done NOTHING wrong, and deserve some kindness from yourself to yourself. Look forward to getting away and finding yourself again.

    I wrote a song inspired by my cancer one time when we broke up I'll post some of the lyrics shortly.... have to get back to work for now.

  • I didn't want to but I had to face the truth, the time had finally come

    for you to do, what you had to do. And me? to move on

    You've shown me the answer to the maze that I'd been thru

    cause I lost me thinking I'd found, you

    Now there's only the question of how I stood outside your door

    begging you for more, when I've been a fool before

    I've been learning to live without you baby,

    but I've missed you like crazy

    In the end I still don't understand

    why I have to learn to say goodbye over and over again

    the song is pretty long this is just the first verse. I hope you like it.

  • You know what, I don't care about Cancer guy anymore..he's off with some other girl now. who cares now.

  • Awww....thats do depressing, sexygem! But I really like it. It does sound like you're dealing with a cancer. Yah, I like very much 🙂

    Aqua, I wouldn't be surprised if he randomly took offense. He never seems to react the way I think he will. But, he didn't seem offended at all. he was staring at me quite a bit, after a while, and not in a mean way. Guarded makes sense....I'd feel terrible if I gave him the impression I was prying with that message. I wanted to make things lighter....but you guys are right, I don't think i've actually lightened myself enough for that. Woo.....ugh. You don't understand how much miscommunication drives me freakin crazy. I just want us to completely understand each other before we know, part ways, or go on a different route or whatever. But he isn't the best communicator and maybe he feels like he doesn't have anything to communicate, like you said, Aqua. There's probably not much to say.

    Squa- Ugh....well at least it's good closure....sorry, hun. 😞

  • Well, I don’t think anybody randomly takes offense; there is always something in how we perceive a statement when it’s made. I have offended mine and when he explained why, it made sense, and I have also been offended by him.

    Actually I was referring to his guardedness before you sent the message because as you said one of the things you brought up was an apology for asking personal questions. Did I misunderstand? And I understand the great desire to correct a miscommunication; I also possess a great urgency to fix something I think might be broken. However, if both parties aren’t participating in the discussion then….? So cool down, go on your trip, rebalance and just enjoy. Actually I’m considering going to Egypt or Morocco or something (I never decide too early) in January, so you’ll have to let me know about your trip.

  • OHH wicked Aqua! Yah Morocco was another option....but the pyramids called out to me. I will absolutely tell you everything. work today, we were totally cool. Like, I have a feeling friday he was waiting for me to say something or something...because today I was just like 'man, fuuuuck this' and let loose completely and when I saw him said hi and asked him about the bet him and his friend made for halloween. He instantly opened up and we talked easily the whole night. So that's a load off my mind. I guess I still don't see exactly what he thinks, but as long as we're friendly thats all that really matters. I'll wait till he's drunk. He always tells me things when he's drunk.

    And im so glad to hear about another obsessive communication-fixer. I thought I was alone, lol.

  • Squabull>>You know what, I don't care about Cancer guy anymore..he's off with some other girl now. who cares now.

    Sandran>>Doesn't mean a thing.We all get hurt when we see a person we like with someone else.Learn from it.Watch the Cancer's behavior towards the other woman if you can and see what makes him attracted to her.You may find that the Cancer is a real big pain in the ass.And then you were spared of the hurt.I like a Cappy and a Sagittarius.And tho they don't see me in the ame eyes as I do. them..There has got to be a reason that we are not together.I should not go there as

    they have been married and divorced.And, if that is the case..Who knows if they can settle themselves down with 1 person.

  • I've learned a lot about cancer men from reading these posts. Thanks.

    So what do you do when you are dying to get ahold of them but know you shouldn't?

    I haven't heard from my cancer guy in 5 days and starting to go nuts.

  • Luazinha, how long have you been seeing each other? I caught a little of your story in another thread, but I'm not too familiar with it. He's a pilot and honestly if I was on a plane, I wouldn't want to know that the pilot I was flying with was distracted with other thoughts 🙂 Can write too much now, off to start my day.

  • Luazinha~~I've learned a lot about cancer men from reading these posts. Thanks.

    So what do you do when you are dying to get ahold of them but know you shouldn't?

    I haven't heard from my cancer guy in 5 days and starting to go nuts

    Sandran712>>You may have to make the effort to contact him.We...Cancers tend to forget to contact friends.I have a girlfriend I could go over a week or more without calling her.She knows...I get busy and forget to call sooner.I tell anyone that knows me well that I have a tendency to make them worry.I try to stop that.But, I have a son.He is 24 years old.He recently had a stroke.And was laid up in the hospital for 3 weeks.Don't suffocate this guy.But, just say..I've been worried and I haven't heard from you me.Email or something.But, wait until you hearword from him to respond back.He really could be busy for real and not just playing around...

  • @Aqua update: My cancer and I have preety much been going smooth sailing getting closer and closer, then one day out of the blue he sits me down and says that he doesn't know if this is working out and that this may have been our last night together. When he said it, because of some of your post I was not surprised or hurt. I kind of smiled and said " I don't believe that" he ask "why" I told him that I knew we were connected and that I wasn't sure why he was confused but that I am not going anywhere I love him, I'm always going to be here for him and don't agree with his decission. He was like "you don't have to agree". from there we changed the subject and talked about everyday things. We continued on in the relationship as if the conversation had never happened but man was I insecure ( I didn't show it tho) anyway we continued on as if nothing changed but I wasn't sure where is head/heart was I was going to ask him, but was advised on another thread to just relax and take it day by day. less then a week after that I text him to tell him about how some advice he'd given me paid off he responded "no problem, I'm always here for you, I love you"

    Your post and some from the other guest changed my reaction and perception of our conversations and I want you to know I appreciated it.

  • That’s wonderful sexygem. If you had reacted differently it would’ve justified to him that you were not in it for the long haul. If he really was serious about what he said then there would be no way he’d still be there and his attitude towards you would be entirely different before and after. He would be miserable and wouldn’t make any bones about it and believe me the difference would be very obvious.

    BTW, his sun conjuncts your mars by less than 1 degree; sun conjunct mars (I also have this with mine) is not only a hot aspect but you both feel connected, it’s invigorating and stimulating however it can also mean that you know how to push each other’s buttons. Things will be highly personal with each other so be aware of that and think before you act. His mercury also conjuncts your mars by less than 1 degree; I bet there are some stimulating conversations and debates.  Enjoy!

  • Hello my email address is I have been with a cancerean for almost 3 years, it was a solid relationship for almost 2 years he told me he loved me and then about 6 months ago he said he cared deeply for me and if something happened to me he would not forget himself. Now i am living with my mother and we are just friends who care deeply for one another I loved him so deeply with everything that is within me. He killed the love i had for him by saying one time he loves me and the next he likes my companion friendship and my body well as time went on i found his down-points and did not go for what he was asking me to do, I will not just give up my body for someone like that. Just have to remain friends and let the relationship do whatever either move on with him or move on with your life

  • Yes aqua you're right.... He is not an agressive man by any stretch of the margine but he is what I like to call the master of passive cruelty. I could tell when he said "you don't have to agree" he was pleasantly suprised by my reaction. If he ment it he would have no problem what so ever with not recieveing or returning my calls for weeks or longer. The conversation actually made us closer. This is actually the first time he has ever told me he will always be here for me, that he did it without my asking lets me know he has been wanting an opportunity to return my sentiment. I feel really good about how it went. I wasn't taken off gaurd of feeling blind sided but patiently waitng for the next "test". Not only did I pass, but changed our relationship dynamic. As you know, in the past I would have said "ok" or "I have to respect your wishes" but this time I let him know that I loved him and nothing he said was going to make me take it back I feel amazing...... almost as good as when I took back my power in this situation in the first place.

    @enlightenment there is a huge gap in your story how did you go from living together to seperate residents and you not wanting to share your body with him? Did y'all have a fight? Did the feelings corode slowly? Did he ask you to do something that was a dealbreaker? What happened that is keeping you from a man you obviously adore?

  • @MariaRia ive been dating a cancer man while am a cancer woman and well i just feel like enough is enough😣am so fed up with his behaviour of him blocking me out of the blues unblocking me after I've followed him up...and if i ask why he blocked me he shall just say i did he's gone silent doesnt pick my calls and if he does he keeps quiet how am i supposed to fight for this

  • A cancer boy became friends with me he at first showed interest in me my family alll things and he was talking to me as if we were getting married always indirectly ...we meet only for 2 times
    On first me he made such a eye contact that I was only one and on second I didn't as the spark in him as first ......he started loosing intrest in me now he always cuts my calls and tells mehe was scared of attachment and we geeting close. ..................once I told him what willl you do if I replace you( it was not game I just wanted to check he loves me or not)
    He disappeared and when he appeared back he said what are we I said you tell then he told we are just friends then I told you were planning future with me what was that then he told he doesn't feel same now then again we meet everything was good then on rakshabandhan I sent a rakhi image wishing Happy rakshabandhan to him(means it's a thread sister tie to brothers) I tied a brothers thread to him to check his reaction weather he loves me or not but he disappeared from there and today 15 days over for it I called him 100 times texted 100 times said sorry buy not replying at allll what should I doooo please help iim not understanding anything 🥺

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