Confused am i wasting my time waiting for him?



  • I'm 38 i've been seeing this guy for 3 yrs and i'm trying to get a serious relationship going with him at this point i don't know where this is headed me 4/6/70 him 8/31/64 please give some advice i'm going out of my mind already!



  • He's a Virgo. Some are very slow at entering into marriage. Some are like the perpetual bachelor. If he is like the Virgo's I know then he is pretty steady. He shows up on time, keeps a steady job etc. He can also be critical, nit picky and demanding. Virgo's seem to live inside their own mind. They are very good at entertaining themselves. That seems to be why they adjust to being bachelors. My boyfriend is a Virgo. The steady pace of your relationship is probably fine w/him. Might be kind of hard to understand though. I've noticed that a Virgo will pay attention to a Scorpio. Seems Scorpio kind of lays it out in terms a Virgo can understand. Virgo is a fixed sign. Fixed means stubborn sometimes. Virgo is also a kind-hearted sign. Try to relate to him w/much kindness. This is the best practice w/anyone and may be the only way you can get thru. Best wishes.



  • Hello Aswi,

    3 years in my opinion is long enough for a man to know whether or not he's "into you". If he was, he would put to rest any unhappiness you are feeling. As hard as it is to hear, (I've had to realize the same thing too), is that he may not be that into you. It hurts, but i suggest you really look at it for what it is. If he was, he would of made you "his" by now and made sure you knew it too. I suggest the book by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo "He's just not that into you". Hard lessons to swallow, but it helps. I hope I wasn't too hard and direct. I wish you all the best.



  • Hello Aswi,

    Have you actually discussed this with him? Does he know that you are unhappy with the relationship staying the way it is and that you would like it to get more serious? What does he think or say about this?

    I think the only answer is to talk it over, and figure out what each of you want or need from this relationship. Then figure out if both your needs can be met going forward as a couple. If you think they can, then great. Keep going and see if you are right. If both of you cannot mutually agree on how you want this relationship to be, then you will have more things to think about, and more decisions to make.



  • Hello all, this virgo male is all over this one...Everything Dalia said is true...except she left out one very important, well lets say two, very important Virgo traits. We usually have a caregiver mentality and not as tough as most think, although critical, its mostly of ourselves that we are the hardest, which all of that added together means we can really be quite insecure. And usually very gentleman like which makes us drag our feet and not let you know how we really feel in fear of being rejected ourselves. Often it will take a very forward personality to jerk us out of a hidden shyness to open up and let you know that we care more than being very close friends...see its very safe for us to be a very close friend, its kinda like loving you from a distance...and even though you may feel that you have let him know how serious you are he may very well still stay back where his is safe and in control of his out of control emotional state. Thats how we Virgos stay focused, organized, on time, etc. But, and i do mean But with a capital "B" , If he does let go, open up, let himself feel something, and falls in love, and admits it...look out, you may very well have a wonderfully attentive sexually hungry and totally insecure man up your gazo 24/7, who may also lose his ability to do all the other traits that i just mentioned...So make sure this is what you want....oh, by the way, that was the second trait... i recommend buttering him up with flattery in regards to his work, or projects, or tell him your neck hurts and you need him to rub it, and then make a big deal about how much it feels better, with the virgo man you have to blow everything out of proportion when it comes to flattery...and try to very slowly recruit his emotions for you...its not that we are self centered its that we are self critical and it takes a lot of extra words to make us believe we did something good enough. Even telling us three times is better...so after the neck rub, thank him and make lots of moaning sounds that sound like it feels good, smile a lot, act surprised when you say it feels better, then mention it in the morning, because the moaning sounds may have worked very well, then brag about his massage to a friend, when he is listening...his insecurities will be deminished and you will be his biggest fan...a valuable assest to a virgo...Good Luck



  • Can someone help me?

    I was in love with this guy for 6 years, from the moment I met him, and even though he never felt that way about me I still loved him, and just recently he came back into my life, and then I met this guy a month ago, and automatically I forget about the other guy. He is a pisces and im a gemini. i have never felt this way, not even with the other guy, i trust him completly, with every single thing of my life, and I dont even do that with my closest friends. Its weird, and I love him, I honestly think hes my soulmate, but he told me that he does not like me that way, and he wants me in his life but I just dont know, I never wanted to get married, but with him its so important to me now, the thought of marriage, and I love him so much, and I dont know what to do or whats going on. Im confused.



  • If he told you that he doesn't feel the same, listen and pay attention to that. In other words, live your life according to that. Don't build anything around these two people. Look for somebody that you can build a mutual, lasting relationship with. Get to know someone first, then make your own decision. Otherwise, you'll be a situations similar to these. Get to know yourself. If you are looking for a serious relationship, better dump these two. That's just the truth. Wish you the best.



  • let me tell you if after three years he does not know how he feels about you.......then he never will I was in a relationship like that and found out........after 11 years and never getting married that I was just o till he found what he really wanted.......sad but true......they lead you because you give them comfort but when they find what they are really looking for they walk away and are gone and you are left there with a broken heart!! move on if something does not change soon...life is too short not to be happy



  • Hello. Ok. What Dalia and Chemistry said really helped; thanks. However, I think I am still stuck. I have been 'seeing' (not dating) a Virgo male for about 3 months now. We went into this relationship with no strings attached but things have been getting more and more intimate each time we are together. He dated a girl which ended about a year ago- It was supposedly a pretty awful breakup. We had an amazing night about 4 days ago (i Know he did too) but I have only briefly heard from him once- the next day. We are both very cautious people but him more so than me. I want to take the next step but I don't know if he is ready. I have come to a conclusion that he is just very scared. He has even told me that he is scared. I am totally willing to take things slow- whatever pace he wants.

    'Chemistry' : Should I wait till he calls? Should I step up and say something? Or should I let him take his time and come to me when he is ready? I am a very patient person but sometimes I feel like nothing is Ever going to happen if I continue to sit around waiting for him to make the calls. He is also Always working... he's way overworked and I can see that it's really eating at him so the tip you gave about flattery is a definite (thanks!). I respect him so much which is why I am waiting it out but maybe I should take more control? Or shouldn't I at this point? ahh! Now I seem insecure. Please help!



  • What is the next step exactly, monogomy? You might already have that and not even know it, I assume it is monogomy, because after just 3 months it's way to early to live together, so I will assume you mean monogomy. Based on that, absolutely you should talk to him about it, openly and freely, this is a very sensitive area and you have the right to know where he stands in terms of intimacy. I think the hardest part about starting up with someone new, especially, when they light our fires, is having to wait for them to catch up. I am a Gemini and have no problem saying what is on my mind, at any given moment. Everyone always knows where they stand with me. I could not live any other way.

    On the other hand, I could be way off track here if your question pertains to becoming intimate, if that is what you meant please disregard the first paragraph of this post, ha, ha, ha, Gemini's also have a very good sense of humor.

    Now, it what your asking is how do you know if he's ready to be intimate, actions my dear, it's plain and simple, actions. The next time you are alone with him and the time is right, kiss him and see how he responds. You'll know immediately if your feelings are reciprocated. Good luck, and for goodness sakes have fun with this great time you are in, falling in love is like living at Disneyland without having to pay for anything there. Lucky You!!!

    Mypointofview



  • Can anyone give me some advise? 4 weeks ago i met this really wonderfull virgo guy but before that we have been chatting online for about 2 months. He text me regularly and tells me i am special, but as he lives in another city we met up only once. I am not the type to fall head over heels in love anyone infact some people think i am cold, but with this guy i feel different, he told me he will let me know when i must come and visit him in his city as he came to visit me in mine, i also made the mistake of telling him it is his decision when to ask me to come as i did not want to appear clingy but now he has not asked me to come and i am still waiting, whenever i text him he replies immediately, so now i am pretty confused..should i just take a chance and invite him to come and visit me again or should i wait? have the feeling if i wait i might wait a very long time and i really would like to see him again i think there might be a chance for real love but don't want to scare him away by appearing clingy. Anyone have advice on how to handle a virgo male?



  • Advice on handling a virgo male?.....Ahhh...run far away!!!!! Especially if you're a Gemini!!! .....

    Seriously Carmin if you want to see this virgo guy then for goodness sake stop dithering and contact him saying you'd love to see him again and ask him when it would be a great time for you to visit.....

    (and when you do visit make sure you get there well ahead of time and are immaculately turned out.....)

    Good luck!



  • He could be any of the astrological signs but the bottom line is that after three years together and no talk about the future he is not serious about the future with you. I was in and on-again-off-again relationship with a man and if I could do it over, I would have walked along time ago. Hindsight is always 20/20. It takes alot of courage to walk. We finally ended it 7 months ago and the other day when I thought of him he pulled up next to me at an inter section. I looked over at him and thought, Gee what was I thinking? He looked different in the way that I was no longer attracted to him. This was the best thing I ever done for myself is to know my worth and if he didn't want what I have then I am moving on to find that man who appreciates what I have to offer. Sounds like time to cut the cords and who knows, if it was meant to be then he will come back to you - that old saying you don't know what you have until you lost it. Think of yourself.



  • Chemistry! You have just summed up everything I've wanted to know about Virgo men! Thank you! I have often wondered why my Virgo demonstrates love towards me and he's very intimate on the phone with me (more than sexual... everything), he has opened up his world to me bit by bit. He has introduced me to his friends that he admires and has told me things about him that he says not a lot of people know. Which I can believe. We worked together for awhile, and whenever I was around I would distract him, he would tell me this and he works in the kitchen in a nursing home and he's nearly hurt himself with sharp objects when I'm around. I always wanted to show him I appreciated him and the work he did. He makes beautiful deserts and I always raved about what he'd made, always. When people liked his food or cake or whatever, I'd encourage them to tell him that personally, and they would in my presence and he'd look at me and he'd thank them and I knew he appreciated that.

    He's always introduced me as a close friend but let's be blunt here, we're not just close friends we are lovers and he always wants the entire night with me not a portion of it. Which I love giving him, I try to display that I adore him as often as I can and I've told him that he's my angel, and he knows he's my hero. I think he likes that!

    Your explinations has helped me very much! Thanks so much! 🙂



  • Distance is tricky, and yeah, you need to ask him point blank "Either you want to hang out or you don't." That's how I got mine to follow through for once too. However, 2 months, I'd not let your emotions go nuts, which is tough I'm a Cancer and my emotions rule everything I usually do. I fell in love with my Virgo after a few months of knowing him, but I saw him daily because I worked with him, he lives 25 minutes away from me, I got to know him slowly but surely as time went on. Put your mind and heart together, I'm learning how to do that now and it's helping me a lot. Good luck



  • virgo is a mutable sign..changeable...I am a virgo



  • Ok here goes if you have been dating a man for 3 years and you do not know if it is serious or not ? Please........take this advice in the goodness that I am giving it. It does not take 3 years to find out if someone is serious or not. You should know a person that you are dating within 3 to 6 months..... what I mean by that is you should know there personilty and character, likes and dislikes, etc, etc. But the ultimate sign of knowing your mate is actually living with them..... then the true colors surface. If a man loves you and desires marriage the talk should take place within 1 year of being with him..PERIOD.... If commitment or marriage is not metioned then he is comfortable the way things are and will have no intention in marriage because everything has become a convience for him so why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free! Move on and find someone who will really give you the love and care that you deserve.....You are special never forget it.....;o)



  • to noleohere: I don't know if you've seen your Virgo recently, but funny enough sounds kind of like my Virgo only he calls often, he is very busy at work but not that busy. I always noticed that my Virgo either asks me to come up to his place, meet him at "our" place or if I tell him I'm in the neighborhood he'll tell me to come over. Give him a call just to say hi. My Virgo always told me he was scared and confused about getting close to me too, but our night together was phenomenal too.... Idk I hope things work out, above all else trust your gut instinct. I'm learning too, gut instinct isn't there for nothing! Good luck



  • HELLO I HAVE BEEN SEENING THIS VIRGO GUY FOR ABOUT 6 MONTH SINCE THEM I HAVE TAKING HIM ON TRIP ALL OVER THE USA. I HAVE BOTH HIM A VAN AND NOW I AM GOING TO HELP HIM GET A LAND ROVER. HE HAVE A GIRL FRIEND THAT HE KNOW FOR OVER 13 YEARS THAT HE TELL NO ONE CAN COME BETWEEN HIM AND HER SHE IS A VIRGO TOO. HE SEE HER 4 TO 5 DAYS OUT OF THE WEEK AND SHE DONT DO FOR HIM WHAT I DO. HE SAY THEY ARE JUST FRIEND BUT SHE COOK HIS DINNER AND DO IS HAIR ETC. HE SAY HE IS NOT SLEEPING WITH HER BUT WHEN I CALL HIM HE DO NOT ANSWER HIS PHONE. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO I SEARCH IS PHONE AND FIND TEXTS THAT HE SEND HER EVEN ON ONE OF OUR TRIPS. CALLING HER BABY AND SAYING HE LOVE HER MORE. I HAVE THE KEY TO HIS HOUSE I DONT BELIEVE SHE KNOW IS ADDRESS. SHE HAVE CHILDREN AND HE ALSO TEXT HER DAUGHTER TELL HER HE LOVE HER. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO I HAVE FEELINGS FOR HIM. I WONDER WHAT HE TELL HER ABOUT ME



  • PS HE USE TO GO OUT WITH HER


Log in to reply