Why is she cheating?



  • Hi, i Am new to this site and i am glad i can talk to some one who can be unattached to my situation. I and Ana meet 6 months ago, and we connected right away and for the next month she came over to my house and we talked and talked about everything and anything. she was going through a divorce and had all kind of problems. I advised her on many instances and she was doing good and being free and loving life, one more time. We feel in love and we got involved , we had amazing time togeather in and out of bed. I meet her 3 kids and i love them all, i even took them all to one on my masters and introduce them as my family that God has given me now . I Am very spiritual and i believe in God in all religions and i believe there is a good inside all of us, childern of God. I ahd to move due to my job situation and its only going to be a short 9 months away and i only moved two hours away. We where in love and she approved on me going and it was ok, she said i think you are gone to war and i can handel it. she visited me with the kids one weekend and came up on her own to spend some time alone.

    She is moving from her house and has a new home purchase which is only two house down from her old/x house. I started moving some of my stuff in , persian carpets and expensive stuff.

    I have so much stuff and have no place in my one bedromm apt now, and i dont want storage any more. Any way, last week i went to see her and she acted so strange and did not make time to see me, and told me she needed time to think. So i backed off and gave her a week instead of a few days. Now when i called saturday, she told me have a nice life and gave me no reason, except that she had sex, and i don,t know who. I am devistated and my heart is broken and i shed some tears and i am pretty upset. She is also pregnant with my child 3 months old. I can only send love to her, but is this worth it? what about our child? I am so exahusted and feel used. I am just looking for love and be loved. any advise? thank you

    God bless



  • i,m answering you because i want you to know that someone cares. yours is a sad case. i am not a person who can give you answers of why. i can only say that to everything there is a purpose. you met this lady and have gotten to experience the feeling of deep love. some people never get that. no one dies of a broken heart even though it might feel like life is over.

    time has a way of making things just a distance memory. maybe destiny has other plans for you

    just be patient, fill your time with things that hold your interest, keep your faith which is beautiful

    allow yourself to be who you are and believe in youself everything that is suppose to be--will be

    there are brighter happier days ahead for you, keep your sweet spirit!!

    your friend



  • Well what can I say here but I am sorry to hear about your situation. She sounds like she doesn't know what she wants from life. Very confused and mixed up. Best to stay away and let her have some space. Doesn't make this easier for you does it. I wish you luck xx



  • Maybe, in time, she will let you have and take care of the baby. I don't know how you feel about that. You may be a better parent than her. I would not take her back. I wish you the best and will pray for you. Good Luck.



  • Dear Kambiz59,

    mmmm, no words is necessary. The emotion was enough to express this feelin'. I can only give you this: pick a movie called 'Lake House' and let it go. Free yourself from everything. Like yourself to the sky, your heart free into the ocean. Sometimes, listen to the song by Brian McKnight & Vanessa Williams 'love breaks the chain...' or get a cute cub and grow love. I traveled the world already, most people only seen the U.S. world. Ever been to Europe, it'll change your way of thinkin' & culture. I was a American bully, but now I'm a savior. Have COURAGE, Kambiz59. There's is more than life to it, see beyond it. Christopher didn't see the earth flat, he saw the world ROUND:)



  • I can feel how troubled you are. I don't know for sure why she has done what she has, but my guess is that she was still in a state of confusion when you met. She was in the process of leaving a relationship. That is a turbulent time for anyone. She may not have been sure what she wanted at that time. She could sense your strong kindness and perhaps it overwhelmed her. She needed to feel loved and wanted - perhaps at a time when she was feeling unloved and unwanted by the one person who was supposed to be her "forever" partner. Then when you were away, she had time to find herself, perhaps the self she hadn't seen or known for many years. And she realized that while you were wonderful, you and she were not right for each other in the long run. I don't know.

    If that is the case, perhaps she didn't want to mislead you any more than she had. Leading you on inadvertently (when she didn't know she was doing it) is one thing. Doing it when she knows that you two together isn't right, is another thing.

    As for the child, if you are the father, you have rights. You deserve to see the child and be a part of the child's life. But, you also have responsibilities to the child as well. You will need to help support that child. I recommend that you let her know that you respect her desire not to see you in a romantic way, but that you share a child, and that you need to see each other to discuss the needs of that child, that you want to be responsible with respect to that child, but that you also want to be a part of the child's life.

    A person like you, who has such a strong heart chakra, should have no trouble finding a partner. Don't give up. Look for someone who is strong in her yellow chakra (solar plexus). I am getting a strong feeling that you need someone who is a strong yellow. Take it for what it is worth.

    Peace to you.



  • That is an unfortunate situation. I am sorry. I cannot really offer any advice on where you should go from here, but I will add my perspective on the situation. It sounds like she still wants to be free. She was going through a divorce and needed comfort and a new 'direction'. You provided that for her. Your relationship grew. But in a very short time, she was attached again without ever actually being 'free'.

    Unfortunately it sounds like she got into a relationship with you faster than she was ready. Most likely because it made her divorce and the transition to a new and separate life easier. But now that she is free of her old life, she probably needs time to figure out what to do with her new freedom. Time to figure out who she is as an individual, and where she wants her new life to go. It sounds like she needs to figure this out and do this on her own. Maybe after some time and space (and soul searching) she will decide that you were right for one another and that she wants you in her life. But that is something she has to decide. Until then, it looks like you both have to live separate lives.