Cancer man drops a bomb
I have been dating my cancer for about 3 years. Recently we were supposed to move in together, until I came accross something he has been hiding for a year and a half. a baby!! needless to say I am devastated. He tells me that he loves me and doesn't want to lose me and thats why he didn't tell me sooner. He tells me that he doesn't want to be with the baby's mother and still wants to move in with me. I cant even begin to explain how I am feeling. Please help
Hi there mysweetpea,
Us Cancerians tend to keep things to ourselves, to our own detriment as it turns out sometimes. I think he was afraid to tell you as he didn't want you to think he had "baggage". He's managed to live a dual life really, by seeing you and keeping his baby secret - what a stressful way to do things! Again, as he's a Cancerian, I would imagine he has been suffering in silence about his secret all this time, but as more time elapsed the keeping of the secret became more like a challenge to him than a necessity.
I get that he's by nature an honest man, but this has really made him question his own integrity. Has he gone off into seemingly dark, contemplative moments when he's been with you? Or disappeared for a few days at a time? Whichever he's done - if not both - the reason for that is now out in the open.
Please don't be too judgemental of him here. He's not lied to you about anything else major, but I get here that you've also said you're not ready for children yourself? This baby will not impact on your life together as the past three years have already shown to a fair degree. But this is truly a case of that old song "love me, love my dog", or more to the point "love me, baby or not".
I wish you luck, and hope you can move past his "lie" and see the real reasons why he felt he had to do this.
Hope this helps some! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxo
Cris you are too good. You helped me at least once before when I posted about being burned out with my kids. I need your help with my situation with my ex. If you get a spare moment will you please tell me what you pick up on him I have posted recently under need help healing from the past. I would so greatly appreciate it. ( :
going through the same exact thing(makes me wanna ask who your cancer guy is) joking... he kept it under wraps and never told me details I found out through a reliable source confronted him about it and we moved on to which I though was going to be happily ever after. As in your situation he assured me(TAURUS) that hes not in a relationship with his child's mother. So b/c what assume is women itution I contacted her...BIG mistake, led to me finding out that they do in fact live together and are engaged. I believe shes a scorpio. !to make a long story less boring we do not speak anymore because of me invading his "duel" life I guess. I never spoke to him to confirm her story because I was so hurt I CUT him off in every possible way imagined It hurts me b/c we've been off and on for 5 years and considering this was our best year and taking things further. thinking if I should contact him or just wait it out...confused
Being that I have had experienced alot of Cancers with the same on and off stuff. I would say do not contact him, let him work out what ever he needs to work out if the two of you are to be together. Do not wait for him either. Get involved with people that care about you and find happiness in your own life without him. Chances are hes thinking of you and will probably comeback around again. THis seems to be the pattern. But you must have good boundries and have strengthend yourself is you want a healthier relationship. Do not go crawling back to him after he betrayed your trust. Let him work this out on his own and dont let him back in your life so easily. Be his friend should he come back but show him that you have moved on with your life by cultivating happiness on your own. He will have to work at regaining your trust for this to ever be a solid relationship. But dont go chasing after him men dont like to be chased.
Hello sweetpea, I totaly agree with lovinmylife &chris62, you have been betrayed big time and I feel there was plenty of time on his part to have been honest with you, no one deserves that kind of treatment, stay strong & true to yourself I guess we learn what mistakes we make when we discover that the ones we love are not alway,s what they seem to be.
I once wrote a poem about a situation regards to a man that truly hurt me...
It,s not funny anymore
I,ve had enough of you
Lost my appetite
There,s nothing left to chew
That,s right I,ve had enough of you
You,re not a book
your,re not a dream and
Worst of all you,re not what you seemed
That,s right , I have had enough of you.................................
CHRIS1962 if u can please give your insight on some issues I have had if you can. I have posted a thread IN LOVE WITH A GEMINI MAN PLEASE HELP. I want to see what vibe you get if you have the time. I would much appreciate it. I need to know how to make him come to me.
Sweatpea...you say the baby is a year and a half? And you two have been together for 3 years? That woudl mean he cheated on you correct?
I have had a cancerian boyfriend. He is now my EX. He meant well but to clingy for me. I am a Sag. Temper tantrums all the time. Mood swings, lies.
A lie is a lie NO MATTER how big or small. If he cheated on you, I understand people make mistakes, but he KEPT A CHILD FROM YOU. To me I would consider that a hidden lie no matter if he said it or not. Especially if he had this baby while he was with you.
No one can tell you what your heart feels or what you feel..but do you honestly want a man like that? He already went against your trust but going behind you back and seeing someone else.
What do you think is best for you? And you have to be honest about it.
HE FINALLY CONTACTS ME! u guys were right, but it ended in us no longer speaking...I told him it was best if we no longer speak for me to move on and that its best if we didnt know each other. He took it in a way and I feel better abou the situation. Juat hate the fact that I just single handily removed someone from my life :(.