Crab problem

  • I have been going through the topics and I have noticed there are a lot (more than usual) of relationship problems with Cancers. I have a crab problem myself and I think they are the most intricate people I have ever is a roller coaster ride with them. I am having a difficult time because I don't know what would be my next move. I am a scorpio and I am involved with this crab. I have been reading through the forums, etc about scorpio-cancer compatibility and it seems okay. But in reality it is very complex. Why are they like that? If they are on to one of their "I am not into you at this time mode" (which could be for days stretching on till weeks) how do you react to it? Do you act normal as if nothing happened when they connect again or just ignore them and maybe they will realize their fault and become more serious? I am seeing this crab for almost 5 months now. It is not what you would call a real relationship . We are keeping it a secret since we both hold sensitive positions in the office but we have fun whenever we are together. He does not get to spend time with me much because it's complicated but he doesnt get the time to call me that much. I dont know if I should continue this . He has said that he loves me and wants to be with me someday when everything is fixed and settled. I want to hope for that and would want to see that happening someday but the hurt I have to deal with everyday is colossal. I couldn't understand why calling can be such a hard thing to do if you say you miss somebody. If he does call it won't be more than 6 minutes. Anyway, anybody out there please help me what is my next move. What is it with Cancer men? So unfeeling, so complicated, so complex....if somebody reads this please help....see inspite of this there is a stupid little girl inside me who is so much in love....

  • You sure your Cancer guy isn't married? If he is dear then run the other way! You're getting gamed. If not.... You guys have only been seeing each other for 5 months. Not long at all and he probably doesn't want drama at work. He is telling you he has feelings for you. Is he aware of your expectations? If he isn't aware of them then he can't make an effort to meet them. In his mind everything could seem just skippy.

  • Thank you Pisces Paradox, I guess I already know the answer to my problem I just needed somebody I totally do not know to tell me so it will sink in. I have known him for 3 years but this thing between us just started 5 months ago...nevertheless, i feel so calm now...and yes, he is married and I know it is wrong but he told me something before that made me hope things will turn out to my favor eventually. Again, thanks! Its difficult to see clearly when you're into someone so much but I guess I will be okay now.

  • Hon, if he'll cheat with you then he'll cheat on you. I know. I've been married for over a decade to a cheater who also happens to be a Cancer. Don't let him run game on you. You and his wife are both getting gamed. If you are hoping to replace her then you better wonder who will be replacing you down the line. I asked for a separation last night and he was on his knees in tears begging me to stay. His little girlfriend was all but forgotten about. I didn't even ask for a separation over his cheating. I wanted to separate over his lying. Don't let yourself be that girl. You know it's wrong and if you continue then the prize you'll get is tears. Don't do things to others you wouldn't want done to yourself. You are not gonna change him. He does this because of him and love isn't going to cure it. He obviously has a skewed idea of what love really is. Find something better and believe you're worth it! Love makes people stupid. Best of wishes for you.

  • purpleair- I know I shouldn't be saying anything because I was involved on and off with a cancer guy for the past year or so...but you really should stay away from him if he's married. not only because he'll cheat on you, but think about how you would feel if your husband were cheating on you with another woman? put youself in her shoes. no matter WHAT he says about her and how bad he makes her look, he's still married to her. he got married to her for a reason. if he didn't want to marry her in the first place, then he wouldn't have. you need to keep that in mind. also, tell him that if he REALLY wants to be with you then he needs to think it over, figure out what he wants, tell his WIFE he wants a divorce, make sure EVERYTHING goes through with the divorce and then pick back up with you. until then, he will have his cake and eat it too...makes sense? good luck to you 🙂

  • Dear Purpleair,

    I read your thread concerning a relationship of scorpio and cancer. I have been told by an astologer that this relationship is a match made in heaven. I have had a relationship like this for twenty years and I can tell you that the emotional bond is very deep because both parties share the water element.

    However my husband suddenly passed away last September and the emotional bond is still there. What I mean that eventhough he is gone on another journey my husband comes back to me in dreams. So even in death my husband and I still are emotionally connected to each other.

    Yes, cancer people are very complex and unique. My husband was a scorpio and I am cancer and he always found me intriguing. It is like he wanted to pick my brain but did not know how to go about it. I would always tell him if you can't figure me out now you will never figure me out. We were always together.I guess that is what the Universe would like everyone to be.


  • True ,Rooster5, but, it doesn't always mean it works out. The Pisces is also a soulmate connection for a Cancer. Just because it should be in theory doesn't always mean it works out that way. The Cancer I'm married to is the love of my life. He tries to say I am the love of his but his actions say different no matter how much I would like to believe it. I would follow him to the end of the earth if I thought I really was the love of his life. I'm willing to give him the chance to prove it. My hubby and I are almost always together and I enjoy my time with him but I do not enjoy the emotional hel*l he puts me through. Emotionally, I am very connected to him but it doesnt fix the issues.

    I have some friends that are a Scorpio ~ Cancer couple. They have been together as long as my hubby and I have and the love is surely there.

    People can't be fooled by this though. Just because astrology says there should be a soulmate connection or attraction doesn't mean there will be one. It just means that if there is then certain elements will play out. The attraction comes down to people regardless of their sign . Morality is an individual thing too and sun signs don't have anything to do with that either. It's a personal choice. There just might be certain ways you notice a sign handles things on a emotional level given certain circumstances when you are talking about relationships for instance. I'm sure most everyone on here knows this for themselves so I will stop rambling! lol

    The astrological connection doesn't change the dilemma that this man is married and has promised himself to someone else. If he cannot keep his vow to his wife that he promised to love and cherish then he will not keep it to this girl. He can only promise to love and honor her until the next " connection" comes along. She can do better. I'm not trying to be negative but those are the breaks. His calls only last 6 minutes at a time because he wants to keep her reeled in but at the same time he isn't really wanting to let his wife go. I'm sure his wife is getting more than 6 minutes at a time on the phone.Purpleair needs to see this too. Men often tell women how awful their wife is to keep someone new reeled in. What surprises me is how the girls fall for it. This man and his wife may have issues but it hasn't been enough for him to leave her. They won't work it out with him playing fireman if you know what I mean.If he does this to his wife because they are having problems then he will do it to the next one when they have problems( and they will). if that is how he handles marital problems then I would pass if I was in her shoes. His marriage is first and he should be trying to work it out. If not then he needs to leave before he puts this girl through what he is now. There is right and wrong. That's just wrong and I've walked both sides of that fence so I feel confident in saying that.

    It sounds like you and your husband had a beautiful relationship. Real love and the kind everyone hopes to find. Maybe you could write a thread about it? Despite how negative I must seem , I'm a sucker for love stories with happy endings. I know he's passed but you two spent your time together loving and being loved until the end and nowadays that is a happy ending. The best ending anyone could hope for really.

    It just crossed my mind that this might come off as some sort of attack. This isn't the case at all. Just my thoughts and perspective.

  • Purpleair - The title of your post made me laugh (sorry!). I immediately thought that you need to visit your Doctor to fix that one!! Hope it all sorts itself out. 😄

  • @Purpleair --- As if getting involved with a Cancer wasn't enough in itself...a 'married cancer' is just what one needs to be suicidal! 🙂 Nope, I'm not here to condemn you but a wake up call is what you may need at this hour. I'm a firm believer in "Don't do unto others what you don't want done to you." A cancer usually never leaves his family for his 'affairs' and that alone should give one idea of what's in store. Whats 'love' for you may just be the fling this guy needs to spice up life for himself at the moment. A female deserves and needs more than 6 minutes (symbolically) from a guy afterall. I hate encroaching someone's personal space but given the fact that you've shared your thing on these forums...Most of us do feel compelled to contribute whatever li'l we can to help you think clearly. Give yourself a coupla months w/o your married cancer (as hard as it may be working together and all) and think things through, gal. This cooling off period may very well disclose the direction your cancer is headed towards. All the best 🙂

    P.S.-- Yours truly has been associated w/ a cancer in the past for almost 4 years.

    @PiscesParadox -- Loved reading your bit of contribution...hope it helps purpleair.

    @intrigued -- You had me in splits w/ your 'bit' 😄 C'mon be gentle... :))))

  • Dear PiscesParadox,

    Thanks for your input my dear friend. I can only speak for myself and the experience I have found with a Scorpio and as you gather I am the Cancer in this relationship.

    My story is found in the thread" SoulMates Part 1 and Soulmates Part2" . I have been told often by astrologers that my marriage was a match made in heaven. My circumstances are unique and different than the normal relationships.

    I think all relationships have their up and downs and mine was no exception. It was important for us to settle the small everyday issues because when the big ones came along it was important and crucial for both of us to be on the same page.

    I just wish every couple or relationship could have been like mine. I always describe our relationship and marriage like this..." we were tighter than twine and stickier than tape ".

    Eventhough, I have been seperated from my husband because of his death, our emotional spirits are still grounded with each other. I may not be able to be with him physically but our spirits are connected through dreams.


  • @PiscesParadox - thank you for all your inputs. I know it is a morality issue, my story. And yes I just need a wake up call. I never sought advice from people I dont know or shared my problems in a thread like this. And I am very thankful I did. A lot of you helpful people are here ever ready to share the best...I was thinking I am a bit like that character Scarlett Johannsen played in He's Just Not That Into You...anyway, I woke up already, still a bit hazy, but now awake. I'm going to get through this day (it's only 9:19 a.m. where I am) , pull myself together and start my day thinking less and less of him until I will think of him no more...of all the advice here, you shook me up real hard and I am indebted to you for this part of my life. I will cruise solo from here onwards until a special (unattached ) person comes by...

    @Intrigued - I really meant it to sound funny hahaha!

    @ Astrodame- I appreciate all you said even if it hurt. I'm the wrong one. I made the mistake. What was I thinking?

    @rooster5 - It is nice to hear your story....I wish mine ended just like that...but thanks for sharing your made me hope that happy endings do happen...makes us more helpful of better things to come.......anyway now that I'm awake I will not put myself in that position again.

  • Purpleair - I did wonder! Mind you sometimes when you are in a spin over something you just don't think properly! take care 😄

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