Online dating and a dream



  • I started with online dating back in march, i've been on my own for seven years, so i had little confidence in expecting replies, i did get one main one in which i felt at first he was just after sex, cause he asked what floats you boat, so i said honesty for now, and i woke up 3 days later felt the i had to contact maverick(his usernam) since that day for 10 great days we emailed eachother then went onto msn i really felt we had a connectiontion, we arranged a date to meet, he let me take the reins on meeting i felt why wait, it was all arranged till the day, then he text to say his mum has had a stroke, rain check.

    I loved how he come across on the emails and his profile was just what i liked.

    i just could'nt leave him alone in my head, i was so frustrated, i did text twice he txt back, i finally emailed him i really laid my self on the sleeve, he just basically said he's so wrapped up with his mum, that he cant completate forming new relationships freinds or otherwise.

    I had a dream sequence where it was in black and white, there's a table of men around it, at the top the man stands up and say's Maverick is who he says he is.

    i have emailed and text a few more men acctually had one date in which was ok but no connection

    I look back in thw last four months i have really gotten rid of the old in many way's in my home too. i feell that since then ive talked to my collegues and realised that i need too get a social life and not to be so defensive.

    Even after all this time, i forgot to say he gave me one best philisopy was be who you are and be happy with it the hearing aid and glasses dont matter nor should it., in which has stuck in my head..

    I see now that i neede so much to have something outside of work it was good to have something outside of it, it got configured.

    I see the changes ive made for me given up with online dating it served it's perpouse but you cant beat meeting someone for real, i found the frustration of that was hurting me more.

    There is still a small partr of me that would like to talk to him in the sence of closure and say hello and i likedyou thakns for you help.. without expecting anything back, thats going to be hard, what do you think i should do.

    .



  • dana2,

    The aspect of your dream that you have shared seems to show that (1) you're viewing the situation as either black or white, and you're missing the subtle shades that color it; (2) you're concerned what the masculine figures in your life think of you, and are willing to defer to their decision (think King Arthur and the knights of the round table vs. the man at the "head" or "top" of the table); (3) that Maverick is 'who he says he is' - not meaning, in my opinion, that his mother actually had a stroke, but that he is, in fact, a maverick. From dictionary.com, a maverick is "a lone dissenter, as an intellectual, an artist, or a politician, who takes an independent stand apart from his or her associates". However, you may view it differently (such as Mel Gibson's character from the movie). Nevertheless, you see him as a 'loner'. (4) There's also an outside chance that your masculine self is speaking to you - and you see yourself as the Maverick. But that's just a possbility to chew on.

    I won't presume to assist with what can only be your decision, but it's important to remember not to put too much pressure on yourself in the virtual world. Online dating is so popular, in part, because it allows us all a certain freedom and safety net we would not otherwise encounter in the physical world. That also, unfortunately, allows for a certain level of masking that we can't reproduce in the physical world.

    The best serum for any illness is truth - and whether that truth be shared openly or known within, it's vital that you embrace and accept it. It will light the rest of the pathways for you.

    🙂

    Delphin



  • Hi Dana, Don't second guess yourself. You answered him correctly---honesty for now. He couldn't deal with that. I feel that he wanted to start talking in a sexual nature. He wanted to feel you out, so to speak. This guy is not serious about a relationship. I recently joined an online dating site and was there for one month. I picked out 2 went on a date with each and that was it. So, don't feel bad about your experience. You have to be sly like a fox or think like a wolf. You probably don't do either. Forget about being nice to this person--be yourself and happy with yourself. That's my interp.



  • Thank you both.. i never thought of the dream squence as i was seeing it black and white, i tfelt that i was to go round that table then start again.. i was porberly not looking between the lines.

    He said that the reason for his username, was a name given to him by a freind whom was joiniong athe navy..he did something how he got the name, same for me we both used usernames.. i explained mine,

    The loner i can see was me when i started the online-dating, since then he made me feel good i was happy to hece someone else to talk to in a sense out of work and home, i got to needy and just could'nt let a day go by, i thik, then we went on to msn .. no other sexuall references.. we kept it light hearted, i just loved his humor, and ideal profile i just felt right.

    I truly hated the frustration of not being able to meet him..that sent my emotions into well and truly over drive..i supposed im a arein firey and passionate.. it was a bit of that i just belive you dont really know till you meet them then i trust my gut instinct.. now thats what pees me the most.