Best course of action to get him back



  • Not long split up with my ex after arguing all the time, i no theres something between us still e ven though we ent in contact, i dont want people to tell me to move on, i believe if you love something enough you will fight for it, i just want to know whats my best course of action to get him back please help i do want to be with him.



  • Spirit shows me a dog chasing it's own tail--all the while getting thinner--starving with a big bowl of food close by--but--can't stop chasing it's tail! Sorry, you are not going to like the advice you get most--not just here but from loved ones who are so frustrated with you that all is left is anger and I see loved ones throwing up their hands--turning their backs--walking away--closing doors! This is very sad as I see you just don't get it and the pain is real. You as well feel no one gets it and all you are filled with is abandonment--a feeling of not being able to hold on--can't catch that tail because really it is YOU leading the relentless chase. Your obssession with this man is toxic--you are love sick--it is a destraction that keeps you from living a real life. Your life needs tending to--YOUneed to take care of you--your future your needs your health. Please stop putting all your energy outside yourself and LET GO. Sometimes to truelly get the change we so desire we must do the very thing that we least want to do and for you spirit shouts LET GO. This man is not going to help you heal or be your whole self. When you can be self sufficiant and in love with yourself spirit promises you will not have to chase after love--it will come looking for you. Follow your loved one's advice--seek education and make that appointment for counseling--you deserve it! You are loved. Blessings. PS--I believe if you love YOURSELF enough YOU are worth fighting for!



  • 😢 this made me just want to cry, i don't understand how im ment to get through this and just be me. I havent been me in a while, i dont understand how to find myself again i used to be so happy and not care about boys but now all i seem to do is depend on them, and it stops me from living my life fully, im allways moody with everybody and im starting to hate myself, i was happy he was in my life but i wasnt happy with him, I can't see myself looking up being happy, it would be nice for me to make a new group of friends aswell, my life is so horrible at the moment i hate it to the point i just rather lie in bed and not move this has just brought me back to sqaure one and i don't no where to turn.



  • Angellgirl,

    I think this situation is too new for you and you are drowning in the emotions. The things that you would like-new friends, and smiles are definitely within your reach. I agree with Blmoon perhaps a counselor would help you move past this situation. I was once very much like you but I think older and within the past two years just figured out that you do not need a man to make you happy and actually if that is what you are looking for you will probably be very unhappy. You cannot find happiness through someone else. Start slowly by finding something that you might enjoy (maybe an art class, an exercise class or if you like, church) and soon you will find that you will meet new people and it might help distract you from this man. It will be very difficult but you can do it. Don’t give into your urges to reach out to him. I know first hand being with someone who argues all the time will only make you sad.

    Peace and love,

    Luvslife



  • Sometimes being at bottom there is no where to go but up and if you can honestly acknoweledge that you are not yourself that is such a big big positive step! Because once you admitt that then the universe opens the door and as long as you focus on change it will come--the angels will be there--your guides will guide you. Books will drop in your lap--help will come. It is a journey we all have had to walk and you are fresh. Square one is YOU a perfect place to start. You are depressed and depression really smudges the window--ecverything looks distorted. You are tired--emotionaly spiritualy and physicaly and yes you have lost your joy. It will come back in small ways. You forgot the little things that please and fill your happy place. Music? Dancing? Nature? Children who play with creative freedom? Physicaly you are really worn down right now--too much stress the last 4 months has exhausted your adrenals and now you have a chemical imbalance that needs nurturing back to health. Pamper yourself. Cut the sweet stuff and caffeen and the over comfort foods that feel good but feed depression because the blood sugar jumps up and down. Pray before sleep for your guardian angel to bring you the people you need--a positive group will help--either church (look up spiritual churches in your area) or counseling or school taking a fun class. It will get better because the TRUTH does set you free and it sounds like you are ready. You are in my prayers and I'm sure everyone who reads this will include you as well--you are never alone. Blessings



  • blmoon I think I finally moved on but here is the rub: Had a dream about a bald spot? It looked like my exes head. I am driving around in a car he cant recognize because of the plates, Haven t seen him nor heard from him is this the calm before the storm( he has been passing my house to see if he sees me outside) haven't talked in a month



  • Girl I was just there a few months ago when my scorp left me cause of constant conflict. I was so low and hated myself. I wasn't happy... Deep Down I wasn't happy with myself even with him around. I had to start molding myself into a new person. The girl I wanted to be. Changed some friends also. I hated when ppl told me to just move on I was hurt. Well months later when I was better (few weeks ago) I wrote him and told him my faults that broke us. I told him I cared and he means a lot to me. I was only pushing him away in fear of getting hurt. To my suprise he noticed my change and asked to work on things. Were doing that now. Were taking it slow tho... Is it meant to be? I dk I'm still workin on me. I've had a reading done claiming he was my soulmate but I try to ignore that for now because life changes whether we like it or not.

    So my advice. Start working on u for u only. Ur broken deeply so this is a perfect time to mold urself back up. These past two months without my scorp was like he'll. Many times I felt it was hopeless for him to return. But he did. But I had to work on me for me inorder for him to see any of that. Who knows maybe in months you may not be as interested. This will be HARD but you can do it.



  • Angelgirl, I am sorry you are still holding onto this man. Please take Blmoon's advice and simply let go. you are hurting yourself more by holding onto someone who is toxic when with you. why be with someone who does not appreciate you, and you don't even appreciate yourself.

    get a strong dose of pride, and move on. cut out your emotional drama, and set yourself free. Sunny



  • Think about that little child inside you, that sweet little girl who is capable of giving so much love and deserves to be given the same kind of love back, really see her at one and at two at three etc , look at your pictures , at that beautiful little girl you were and love her, love her so much that you want to protect her and take her hurt away........you can do that cause she is you.now love you and make the effort to get that happy girl back and you will be new again and wiser from this experience, stronger and you will know better next time. This will pass but it happened for a reason and you will understand . Like blumoon said pray before you go to bed for peace, healing and it will come, i know it will it did for me..........Forget about him dear love you more then him its all about you and that little girl inside you who needs your love,Blessings and love



  • I'm starting to accept it as the days go by, i know i need to let go and work on myself. I know deep down nothing is going to work if i'm not me, i've lost someone i really wanted to be with, I think this is the lesson iv'e needed to learn and it's been very hard, its about finding me, and as Stclaire said i've got to find that little girl who i used to be, so happy and playfull things are going to change they need to, it's gone to far im slowly pushing everyone away one by one, i just want to be a nice happy person wth lots of friends only i can do that. It was nice while it lasted with him, but really it wasn't a stable relationship. I think im going to be single for a while to work on myself and maybe in time i won't be the one chasing. Thank you for everyone who wrote in this forum i really needed some wise words.



  • Good! remember this ..everything happens for a reason, and this will just add to your becoming a stronger person full of confidence and a healthy self esteem, im happy your going to take time out from men for a while, this is what you need to dofor it to work(i did it for 3 years) and the time flew by! i was very happy and saw such a new perspective, when you do this you will attract the right kind of man, it will be hard at first it gets easier and you will have such a sense of freedom and selfworth that in time you will be grateful that you went through all of this heartache to become this new person you are going to become, and you will become a blessing to those who you know who incounter the same heartache, because you will be able to comfort them with understanding and compassion. Love and Blessings! You will be fine !



  • Good for you! What a timely committment. The days you feel shakey remember changing a bad habit is just like any addiction--the withdrawls are real but pass--just like starting a diet or stopping smoking but it does pass and you get stronger and stronger. Keep your health priority and you will be fine. I see a crowd of angels and spirits around you smiling and applauding! Blessings. Late august early Sept. brings a positive new force in your life--you will start feeling yourself again. This energy will be more female than male--will help you mother yourself better. This will also lead to a new career prospect that will start on one idea then shift as you go along but will be very rewarding. The spirit who tells me this is wearing all white and holds a clipboard--looks like a nurse. She also says you have a gift with children you have not developed as well. Blessings! All this pain is not a waste--you will be able to help others in the future in a very compassionate but firm way.



  • Thanks stclaire i understand that this is happening for a reason its just im learning so much so quickly but i know its for the best. Thank you! bloon that really made me smile it gave me hope into my future i can't wait to be me again, a new career prospect that sounds exciting and why did this inparticular spirit tell you this well thank you anyway Kisses



  • YOUR very welcome, it is not a race at all take this learning at your own pace and it will be solid and lasting! x x x



  • Hi, I was reading this thread and I am in a somewhat similar situation, I also separated a few weeks ago, and Im close to twelve weeks pregnant, We already have an amazing two year old together, and I believe there is love between us, Needless to say I am really praying we can get back togethr and raise our kids and that he'll be there for me throughout this pregnancy, When I think of the posibility of me doing it alone I just cant accept it and I've even considered ending this pregnancy which really tears my heart, currently I feel quite lost , dissapointed, desolate...



  • You are under heavy influence so just hold on tight. Hormones and stress have not helped you to be your strong self. Fear is a very heavy emotion as well to carry around. You can't change him if he doesn't want to change and you can't change a lot that comes at you--you can only keep your energy and head above water and at full alert. Change your focus and the fear will ease. What if this child is coming into your life with a illogical surprise?--perhaps your child is an old soul here to help you through this very rough crossroads your stuck at. Perspective is everything. Avoid isolation and talking fearfully to others. Be with up beat people--the kind that seem to be happy survivors who lighten your thoughts not darken your fears. YOU WILL BE FINE! Blessings--get excited about this wondrful bundle of love ready to enrich and teach and help you find yourself again as a inocent child. Blessings



  • Thank u blmoon, your words are so true, Im just afraid that by having this baby I will be tying myself to someone I should move on from, I know I will not be able to move on, if we have this extra link between us, I still love him, but if its not to be I wish I could just delete him from my life...



  • Bleustr,

    I believe in free choice, and that if you feel this baby is not someone you can take care of on your own, then you need to decide on the best course of action. do not have this child if you think it will bring you closer to this man you are desperately holding onto. he clearly does not know what he wants, and if you think having this child is going to bring him back to you, you are so wrong, he will not love you more, he will not change because of the baby, and he is not going to just fall in love with you because you have his baby.

    I hate to see another woman go on welfare... and being on welfare is not much of a life.

    too many women get into this mode of thinking by having a kid all will be fine and well. HA!

    you won't be able to delete him from you life if you choose to have his kid. not that simple unfortunately, I hear this same story from so many young women that are preggers, thinking they can have the man for life. it does not work that way, and these times are very different than they were 40 - 50 years ago.

    deep down, you know what you should do, even if everybody else disagrees. Sunny



  • This is between you and what your beliefs,morals, values you have grown up with tell you to do, only you know what you can live with, if for 1 minute you think that treminating this preg. will haunt you.dont do it, cause you will never have peace again in this life, welfare would be a cake walk compared to the guilt regret, etc.and that you could never delete from your life. This is only a personal choice for you and what you can handle.if you can handle it, then you know what it right for you, if you cannot, then you know what is right for you as well.i would never tell you what to , just be sure. BEST of luck and be well!



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