I would really apreciate a reading
I am going through some really bad times with my significant other lately (he is not my boyfriend, he is my ex fiancee) and I honestly need help. You've been kind enough to advice me regarding this same story in the past, so I was hoping someone could again.
(Long story short: my significant other and I were going to get married, we broke up, we spent months discussing what happened, to see if we could work things out until we had a big fall out in march for my birthday, then I decided to pull back because he started seeing someone else, that didnt work out, we still werent speaking although he was sort of looking for me and couldnt find me -i went into radio silence with him because i thought that i had to let him do his thing regardless of how i felt about him).
Anyways... After being apart for little over a month without speaking, we started reconnecting, i agreed to talk to him, he said he still wasnt sure about things, but he missed me, that we should take things slow though because he wanted to be sure wether or not he missed me or just missed me because he was feeling alone. I agreed to let things evolve and reconnect. So, slowly, we started talking again, things seemed to go fine. though at first he was keeping his distance, slowly he started to get closer to me, we even started discussing our future together. Eventually, we discussed the posibility of us getting "physical" (i put quoting marks on because we are in a long distance relationship now so it was an online thing). I told him that at the moment i wasnt comfortable with that because i still didnt feel we were in a place where it felt right to do so and I felt that if we did it things could get weird between us. A few weeks went by and things were really good between us in terms of communication and we ended up getting physical. We had fun, i knew what i was getting into when we did it, although afterwards we discussed that it didnt mean we were back together. He did say that he felt good about what we did because it was an aid for him to figuer things out, like it felt "right" or something. I agreed. I had a good time, I had missed feeling close to him in that way aswell as emotionally (regardless of us being together in a relationship or not) and I wanted to experience that.
Well... not anymore. That was last monday. Before that we were speaking every day. After that he didnt say anything in three days. I figuered he might be needing space or something, so late thursday I dropped him a message to see how he was. He was distant and dismissive, said he had been busy. I was upset about his attitude, but decided not to make a big deal about it and the next day I wished him a good day, we spoke briefly though he still seemed distant so I told him I wished things get less stressful at work and that we could speak another day. Now I've decided to back off and let him breathe, but I have to say I am worried and have lots of scary thoughts. It's not the first time he pulls away, somehow when he feels he gets closer to me, he tends to do so (that i think was a factor in him breaking off the engagement), but this time, it hurts more considering we did discuss that it would actually hurt me if things got weird if we get physical.
I would really need help in understanding what is going on with us and particularly with him. I am very sad about this whole thing because I really was hoping we could get back on track with our relationship. He is a wonderful man, regardless of him having flaws as every human being does, but since we broke up, he seems lost. I have flaws aswell and I am trying to find as much help as I can to better myself up. Understanding by any means the situation and the better approach I can take is one of them.
Please help me.
please i need help