Love help! Cancer Woman, Capricorn Man
I know there is another thread right now about this same match but my situation is a little different so I hope it's not too much of a problem to ask again :).
I began speaking to a really wonderful Capricorn (cusp with Sagittarius) man about 4 months ago online (I'm a Cancer, cusp with Leo). We went on a magical first date, very casual and everything I've ever wanted. We both had a fantastic time, he even brought up how much fun he was having and he was all smiles the entire day, which lasted about 12 hours. He never called or contacted me after the date however, and I began feeling as if he didn't care and tried to drop it. Yet, I was so taken with him that I asked him out for another date (something that is completely out of my element but I really wanted to see him). We had another great date but when I tried to see if he was open to developing a relationship, he bluntly told me that he wasn't looking for one. I understood and didn't try to make much of it.
A couple of weeks later he went away for a couple of months for traveling purposes. A month into his trip, he randomly contacted me and we chatted for about 4 hours. We had a great conversation, I spent all night smiling from ear to ear. He implied that he missed me and couldn't wait to see me again. When he came back, however, he was quite distant and didn't even bother to contact me. The few times I contacted him, he either didn't respond or gave short responses. I again proceeded to just drop all contact and try to move on.
Last week he contacted me again, out of the blue. We spent another 5 hours just chatting, talking about everything under the moon and again, I was completely blissful. He mentioned during the conversation that he really wanted to see me, that he was anxious to do so. I was completely excited and, the next day, proceeded to have a short conversation with him. He seemed to be in a good mood and we had a nice little chat, until I asked him what he was doing this weekend. He never replied.
Why is he so hot and cold? Should I cut off all contact with him indefinitely? When he is with me and when he talks to me, he seems like he's tearing the barriers between us and trying to get to know me romantically. When I initiate conversation or try to follow up on his words, however, he doesn't reciprocate and leaves me feeling upset and betrayed. Can anyone help? I want to pursue this because he makes me feel like no other man has ever made me feel in my life, but I don't want to keep getting my feelings hurt and played around with.
OK. My take on this is quite personal, but I, too am a Cancer with Sag/Cap cusp hubby for 30 years now.
It is an opposition honey. Yes, a complete dichotomy of a relationship. He wants you, he wants to be free, he wants you, he wants to be free...Are you quite sure he is FREE? Is there someone else in the picture taking up his "spare" time already?
You should read up on BOTH signs and check the rest of the cahrt for clues...my hubby has 5 planets in Sag, but he has always thought he is a Capricorn! Because he is on the cusp - the 22nd of Dec.-yet in 1946 that was Sag! His only placement in Cap is Mars so maybe he identifies so strongly with that ...I dunno.
Anyway we Cancers love home, hearth, lots of touchy-feely and coochy coo, right? But you cannot smother this man, or overwhelm him with your emotions, he will run...and fast.
In my experience it takes MUCH independence on your part-have outside interests and be prepared to do mundane tasks by yourselk...like, shopping, home cleaning, leisure time and more. Get interested in a hobby so you have something to do when he is "busy" doing his own thing. Oh, he may not be a bar hound, or go out a lot with the boys, but he will definitely be "in his own world" around the house, doing "his thing" and probably won't want interference, and any time he is interuptewd or criticized, it is interference. believe me.
It has been a good relationship mostly, don't get me wrong, but my "clingy-side" is definittely lonely.
I agree with CanerMama. The first thing question that comes to mind is, is he truly free to enter into a relationship? The second question is, is he truly a Capricorn. Sounds to me that his Sagitarious tendencies are strong! The sagi influences will allow him to be completely into you (like there's no one else in the world) when he's with you, but, in the event he's not really available to begin a realtionship, out of sight, out of mind. Again, I think CancerMama hit the nail on the head advising hobbies to keep yourself occupied. Even if you are able to break through his isolating tendencies, he will likely always have a little world of his own. New love always feels so good ! The Cancer desire to be at one at all times wiht their partner will force him to create space around himself. It's a tough one, but any realtionship worth having requires work, but sometimes it will feel that all the work is on your side. Rest assured, he'll be working in his side, it just won't ba as obvious to you. First and foremost, live you life for yourself and hopefully there will be room for him. Good Luck with your potential new love.
Thank you so much for your responses!
From everything he's told me and what I've observed, he is definitely free to be in a relationship. He just doesn't want to because he's in a demanding field and going to graduate school full-time as well. He was born on the 24th of December so it's on the later end of the cusp; would the Sag influence be as strong in this case? I completely allow him his "personal time" and have even tried to forget about him during those weeks where he didn't initiate any kind of conversation. It's just those times when he treats me like I'm his world that throw me off! I spoke to a psychic and she told me he was my soul mate (and she was quite specific about it as well) but I just don't want to waste my time on someone who is so hot and cold!
Should I continue to give him his space and let him come to me? What upsets me is that every time he mentions going out with me, I get very excited and anxious to see him but then he never follows up! When I follow up, he's very distant and nonchalant. I've read that Capricorns are the chasees, not the chasers but as a Cancer, this is quite out of my element to be the chaser!
Thank you for all your advice! I really appreciate it!
I dated a Capricorn with a Capricorn moon, Venus in Sag. I have my moon in Cancer, so a lot of your story hits me in a very personal place. I found in that relationship that it was best not to pursue him. Giving him his space was important, because the more I pursued him, the less he wanted to be with me. I think this is good advice overall. I think too, however, that if you have not been sexually active with him, it would be a good idea to hold off until you have YOUR emotional needs met (i.e. an exclusive relationship). The last thing in the world you need is to have that kind of emotional bondage/baggage dragging you down.