My pleasure. Oh btw Chris i replied to my post as well if you have time to give some more insight.
Take it a day at a time, perhaps maybe start taking things into your own hands. maybe start looking for finacial stability. maybe a part time job. Something that will help you. You can do this just need to sit down and make goals and a plan
I wish you well my friend.
Thanks again DFF. Will take a look at your other post, but may not get to a reply until after the weekend. Just also wanted to say, in repsonse to your suggestion about being a sexual victim of some sort, I believe I was, but can't put my finger on exactly when or who or how, but I can tell you I was taken advantage of by a LOT of blokes in that respect. Men who I trusted and blew that trust out of the water. So maybe that's what you're seeing? But sometimes I do still feel there is SOMETHING in my dim dark past (even childhood) that I can't quite grasp in the memory stakes.
If insight comes about this little chestnut, I'd be glad to hear about it as it may be the root of my problems, rather than past behaviour that I am aware of
Thanks again my friend; you take care yourself !
I've just read the start of this post and forgive me for not reading all the pages in between and skipping straight to the end to share something with you.
You've read what I said on your soulmate post, but let me expand on that a little for you. I told you I met what I believed to be my soulmate and he was my (married) boss and we had this unbelievable connection and attraction on mental/emotional/physical levels. We did not sleep together and it was more an emotional affair, BUT in our minds we had a full blown affair. Let me try to explain....we did spend some time together and we have hugged and kissed but most of what went on between us was in writing, via text or email. We wrote about our fantasies involving each other, we put in words how we envisioned in our minds our s e x u a l activities with each other. We also had times where we m a s t u r b a t e d together while texting each, but although it may sound disturbing to some, it was all in a loving and giving and emotional way. I hope you get what I mean because it wasn't us just being dirty. It was our outlet because he was married and he felt too guilty to consumate the affair with me, wasn't prepared to be the fully cheating husband although his marriage was very lacking in many ways...and I wasn't prepared to push the issue with him. We also wrote words of love to each other and supported each other. He was the first man (I think ever) to make me feel like a woman, a beautiful woman with so many good qualities, he made me see the beauty and the goodness inside me instead of trying to tear me down or control me. For him, I made him see unconditional love and that there are people out there who don't want to use you for what they can get out of you, that there are people who are willing to give without expecting something back. In a way I restored his faith in people. I know I also made him feel like he was amazing and worthwhile and made him feel like a man again.
Now, having said all that, I had separated from my husband, gotten out of a marriage I wasn't happy in. Our s e x life was nothing to write home about, I didn't like the way my husband made me feel in that sense and was always uptight about it. That probably stems from being abused when I was a child by my Mum's partner.
Now this soulmate of mine, we have shared many many lives together (I've done a lot of paledian healing with a practitioner who is also psychic and goes through past lives), I know we have definitely been together before.....i could strongly feel it and we always clicked from day 1 and felt so comfortable with each other and just "knew" each other. Now I also believe that my soulmate came into my life to heal me, he has healed me s e xually, I am now the s e x u a l being I deserve to be. I have come into that side of myself and can now be more open and loving and sharing from that side. I now know it's something beautiful to be shared between two people and not something to feel ashamed about.
I can't really tell you how he has helped me or healed me in this way, but I know he has. I also know that although I loved him deeply (and always will) and he will always be in my heart, I know he met with me again for that purpose and we were not meant to be together in this lifetime. It was hard but I've moved on and I know now that I am capable of having the true loving supportive relationship that I really deserve now (that we ALL deserve). His lesson now is to look long and hard at his life and his marriage and make the changes that he needs to make and I have been his catalyst in that for him.
Now that is not to say that you are not meant to be with your "little soulmate" but perhaps he can help heal you in that way too. There are always reasons for them to come into our lives and it may or may not be meant to be for the rest of your life, but I certainly hope so. Maybe now it is time to have the life and love you want and it is your turn and time to learn through joy.
I wish you many blessings and a bright future.
Yeah, I relate well to what you're saying. Apart from the "honeymoon" period of our relationship, the last 21 years or so have been spent being uptight about s e x and never feeling like a woman when we do it. I feel repulsed most of the time and like it's a huge gift I'm giving HIM rather than the other way around. I used to feel good for giving it to him, but not anymore. I just end up feeling like a dishrag and like I want to scream. He's a passionate man and needs more than that. I've said he wants what I can't give to him, but he says that's okay. It's NOT okay. Not for me; not anymore. Am having a very emotionally trying day today as I just feel like everything's ending. I even feel like this meeting between me and little soulmate is just another damned tease the universe is going to give me just to take it away again like has happened so many times before. I just can't go through all that again; I've lost too many soul connections in this life to lose another one. And I keep asking "when is it MY turn"? Just wanna cry and give up. Can't do it anymore; can't cope with the disappointment that ends up being mine all the time. Maybe I'm just ungrateful or something.
I wish you many blessings and bright futures too. I sure hope this fella of yours makes the choice to end his marriage sooner rather than later. I'm so sick of hearing about these soul connections that come and go. Where are the ones that come and STAY?? Like I said, when is it my turn to smile inside and out for more than a day or two? And everyone elses? C'mon guys (universe that is) give us a proper break!!
Sorry for sorrowful rambling. Just the tone of the day methinks Bless you wenchie xoxoxoxoxox
Don't be sorry for "rambling", we all need to vent. It's hard to remain positive I know when things tend to suck and not go your way, I've felt like that for the last couple of years and it does take its toll on your confidence and self esteem.
The only thing I can say is stay positive about your meeting with little soulmate. Have to think of positive outcome, it's too easy to fulfill our own self prophecies by being negative and expecting the worst, then we just dish it up to ourselves.
Sooner or later the right person will hang around for us (remember I'm waiting on a new guy that i've been seeing casually for the past 9 months to figure out how he feels about me now that I've decided I'm falling for him.........scary for me.....arrrrrrgh!!!!!) BUT I am confident there is good to come our way. We have done the hard yards, and as a very special lady said to me "consider this: the ups and downs of the past few years brought you to this place in your life. What is there to fear? The place at which you stand now ALLOWS you to not need to experience those bumps again. You can now choose to be and have the peace you desire so strongly. This is called, learning through joy." I can't begin to tell you how much that brought peace to me and it makes perfect sense. We need to remember what amazing and wonderful people we are, trust in ourselves and our intuition, to forgive ourselves and not be so hard on ourselves and to try to be receptive and love ourselves, like others do.
As for this married guy, I honest to G o d believe his marriage will end at some point in the next year, he needs to do it for his own sake. He and his wife are only together for convenience and because he believes that he has a responsibility and an obligation to stay (nevermind that he is desperately unhappy and his wife emasculates him). But for him and I, I have moved on, I gave him more than enough time, perhaps in the next life!!!!
You know what, my childhood kind of sucked, I married too young, should have left my ex husband years ago, he has main custody of our two children in the shared care arrangement (long story but I didn't expect him to play so dirty), my 14 yo son won't talk to me because my ex has filled the kids heads with so much crap, my ex hasn't moved on (even though I divorced him and keep telling him to move on that it is well and truly over and I won't come back), I'm juggling the bills (including the child support I have to pay my ex), reminders coming in for overdue bills and people chasing me on the phone and I was paid on Wednesday and after paying rent, putting fuel in my car and picking up a few things from the supermarket I have $11 to my name until next week. BUT, you know what, I keep telling myself that I have an awesome life and I have everything I want and need because if I don't I probably won't bother getting out of bed!!!! I think if I believe it enough and tell myself that enough it may actually become my reality!!!!!
OMG........who's rambling now!!!!!!!!! LOL!
BTW.....this guy I am hoping will realise he really cares about me and wants more than s e x, he is 8 years younger, he's 30 and I'm 38. It bothered me in the beginning but now I don't care, age is a state of mind and I'm not going to get hung up on a number. Besides the attraction isn't about his age or his physical appearance (he's not ugly but not gorgeous either), it's his soul and his inner beauty that attracts me and draws me to him. It's who he is on the inside and how he makes me feel when I'm with him and I'm sure that for your little soulmate, it is the same for him. You can't help how you feel about someone or who you find yourself attracted to, so forget about the why's and wherefor's of his age and yours and whether he should be attracted to you or not.
Be kind to yourself Cris, pamper yourself and show yourself some love, even if that means soaking in a bubblebath with some relaxing music playing, candles burning, a glass of wine within reach and a good book!!!!!! That is bliss. Remember to lock the door so no one can bother you and take the time out. It's good for recharging!!!!
Hang in there, don't give up, cry if you need to....it's a damn good release! It IS your turn.
I do feel for ya and yes you are probably just having a bad day. We ll have them. You know we all go through life with all the ups and downs and in some way I'm glad I'm more to the end of of my life then the start..
I have live with the same man for about 7 years now and yes the new has worn off and we just live day by day no big sparks and hardly any s ex but that s OK now at this point in life I have my spiritual beliefs and I do know that this life is just temporary and the good stuff is in the life after and that is where we all will have our peace not all be looking for love and soul mates and or pain and suffering will come to a end. So I wait till then cause as long as we are a live we will have grief and sorrow and life for the most part is such hard work. I do realize that for some its not to tuff at all and for others it has been horrible but for us that it has been tuffer I bleieve we are the stronger for our troubles and learned so much that in some small way I guess we can be grateful for the trials cause we learn so much.
The grass is NOT greener on the other side and I have lived that twice in my life thinking it was and it never was so I won't make that mistake again so I will settle and that's OK with me.
As for past lives I don't know what I think of that. I was to a physic about a year ago and she told me Im a old soul and that I have to come back here one more time and I will be some kind of spiritual teacher after that then I can stay in the spirit world, so who knows but I wish I could stay in the spirit world this time
. Don't get me wrong I don't mean to make it sound horrible my life is OK I don't have much but that is OK and I'm. healthy and my children are healthy and I hope happy for the most part and that's all that is important.
I find it interesting to read all these posts and life is like a box of chocolates you never know what your goin to get as Forrest Gump would say.
Keep up the conversations people I love to read them.
God bless he is our way and our light
Well wenchie and mandygirl, it's very interesting to read what you both say. I feel so much guilt as my husband is trying SO hard to look after me in my time of suffering, so to speak. I keep saying he doesn't need to do so much, that I can look after myself and he gets hurt that it appears I don't feel worthy of what he tries to do for me. And the other thing is I can't shake the feeling that all this care from him is not quite what it appears to be ...
I've also been told I'm a very evolved soul and may not have many lives left here on earth and in a lot of ways, I really feel that. I find myself in my quiet moments pleading to go "home" or just lie in the arms of the angel, for a time. Dreams of my little soulmate (the ones that aren't symbolic) make me feel like I've come home, and naturally I wake up the next day in tears and feeling a bit lost and like I've left behind that one thing which gives me that feeling. To think I've dreamed of this fellow in this way for over seven years now, never knowing it was HIM until earlier this year. EAch time in those dreams I was home and felt like, with him, I could just BE.
How frustrating. Still, I agree with an earlier comment about bringing what we fear to us, so I'm gonna do my damndest to be positive about this encounter and hope for the best only
Thankyou ladies, for yet more comfort and insight. Let us all find that peace we're looking for along this bumpy road called life xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
i KNOW YOUR TRYING TO SEE IF PLP ARE REAL, BUT STOP THE LIES AND STORIES.
tHAT WAS MOSTLY FOR THE HANGED WOMAN
Now that's interesting..........LETSGETREAL joined up only 2 hours ago - perhaps with the sole intent of being able to lash out of The Hanged Woman.
I think everybody is entitled to their opinion, even if we don't necessarily agree with it. That doesn't give us the right to personally attack people, and I think we have enough of that behaviour to deal with in everyday life without copping abuse here too on a site where we should be able to feel comfortable to express ourselves openly without fear of retribution.
Shame on you.........if you don't like what you are reading and what people have to say, stay off the site. I'm tired of narrow minded people who don't have anything worthwhile to contribute, they just want to tear others down.
Hear, hear Wenchie! Whoever this LETSGETREAL person is should actually DO what their name suggests. And leave TheHangedWoman alone while they're at it: she has very valid beliefs like most of us on here and should be allowed to voice them without attacks from newbies or anyone else. I get the feeling this newest member may be out to cause trouble, so if that's the case, please do it somewhere else
Couldn't help myself!!!!!!! Stewed on that for a couple of hours before deciding I just HAD to say something. (Ol' foot in mouth strikes again!!!!) Just really gets on my nerves when I see people being treated unfairly and besides that's not what this site is about.
I dont really know what you mean.
LETSGETREAL...wink negativity right back at ya darling.
Ever heard that 'Everyone is entitled to their opinion'? True story.
Hanged Woman don't worry about what it means becasue who ever it is wants your goat. Don't worry about it. You say what you feel. That's cool. Everyone has different way of dealing with certain things.
Mind you because of what type fo site this is, there are people who join soley for causing trouble. It's rude but littel do they know there are anti-defamation groups out there who are on our side for discussing what we please about what we believe find interest is.
Just becasue you don't agree with someone doesn't mean you have to be rude about it or put them down. that just shows that your callouse and have no self importance and you need to make someone else feel below you in order to make yoruself better.
Like I said right back ya Lets...find a different place for your negativity to reside we aren't interested.
I have read some other posts in which spells and wicca came up and I would like to ask you for some help/advice in a situation and maybe a simple spell to help. Would that be ok? Would I be able to email you directly?
Hi, I had a dream night before last that was vivid but a little odd, about a bluebird.
(Personal meaning of bluebirds- good luck, all things good. Beauty, Mother saying, "If you
see a bluebird, everything will be okay")
Description of dream
I had company( cousin, aunts) stop by and they decided to spend the night,
probably because of the snow. I went into the utility room to get extra
blankets for the visitors. I glanced out the window to see the snow. Saw a
bluebird tangled in fishing line caught & dangling from tree.
I quickly went out to rescue the bird and managed to get the line unattached
from the tree. But the bird was still tangled. Took it inside to untangle it
so it would not freeze while I worked to free it.
I went inside the bathroom because it is a small room with low ceiling, and
if the bird tried to fly away I could catch it.
As I had partially removed the line, the bird managed to slip away and fly
inside a cabinet (corner to be exact). I reached up into the cabinet & while
knocking a few things off the shelf, I reached inside and easily retrieved
the bird. I was able to finish taking the restrictive line off the bird. I
held it for a moment and observe it’s beauty. I then carried it gently,
protectively in my cupped hands, outside to release it.
When I arrived to a clear spot, I opened my hands and gently tossed the bird
to give it a little boost in flying away. It fell to the ground into the
powdery white snow. For a moment the bird actually looked as if it were
white too. I walked over, picked up the little bluebird, brushed away the
snow and blew on it a little to help remove the remaining snow. I was so
afraid it was dead, but my breath caused a little movement & sign of life. I
continued to blow on it as if I was doing some type of “bird CPR” and it
responded. Each time I blew my warm breath on the bird I said,"Please live."
Soon the beautiful bluebird was strong and able to fly from my hands to a
Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt
No worries Sthrnlady:
Your dream as I preceive it:
To have a visitor in your dream, signifies that some news or information is on its way to you. It may also indicate love is around the corner. Alternatively, it suggests that you are experiencing a new phase in your life. If the visitor is unwelcome, then it indicates your refusal to change.
To see snow in your dream, signifies your inhibitions, repressed/unexpressed emotions and feelings of frigidity. You need to release and express these emotions and inhibitions. You may also be feeling indifferent, alone and neglected. If the snow is melting, then it suggests that you are acknowledging and releasing emotions you have repressed. You are overcoming your fears and obstacles. If the snow is dirty, then it refers to a loss in innocence, impurity and uncleanness. Some aspect of yourself or situation has been tainted.
To dream that you find something in the snow, suggests that you are exploring and accessing your unused potential, abilities, and talents. You have uncovered some hidden talent and ability within yourself. It may also indicate forgiving yourself or others.
To dream of chirping and/or flying birds, represents joy, harmony, ecstasy, balance, and love. It denotes a sunny outlook in life. You are experiencing spiritual freedom and psychological liberation. It is almost as if a weight has been lifted off your shoulders.
To see deformed or odd birds in your dream, indicates that you have a unique outlook and perspective on romance and love. The dream may also represent a lack of understanding in affairs of the heart.
Bluebirds: To see a bluebird in your dream, symbolizes both happiness and sadness. It is also an indication of purification and resolution to the opposing conflicts/paradoxes in your life.
To dream that you are in the bathroom, relates to your instinctual urges. You may be experiencing some burdens/feelings and need to "relieve yourself". Alternatively, it may symbolize purification and self-renewal. You need to cleanse yourself, both emotionally and psychologically.
To see a cabinet in your dream, symbolizes the female body and/or the womb. Alternatively, you may be hiding some family or personal secret. Consider the contents and condition of the cabinet for more clues. What did you knock off the shelf?
To dream of your hands, represents your relationship to those around you and how you connect with the world. Hands serve as a form of communication. Perhaps you need to lend out a helping hand to someone. In particular, the left hand symbolizes your graciousness and feminine, receptive qualities, while the right hand symbolizes masculine, active attributes. The right hand may also be a pun for some decision or something being "right". If your dream that your hands are detached or see disembodied hands, then it indicates feelings that you are not getting your point of view across or that others do not understand you. The dream may also symbolize feelings of loneliness.
To dream that your hands are clasped or closed, signifies unity, completeness, acceptance or agreement. On a more negative note, it may suggest that you are close-minded, ungiving or unwilling to help.
What I am getting from this dream is perhaps maybe you are in a realtionship in which you are fearfull of what family may think or him or her? Perhaps it has been awhile since a realtionship of some type and right now your wondering what it is your feelign towards this person and perhaps wondering what your family or the people closest to you are feeling. Or maybe even a realtionship you are in now, somethign happened to make you think you did something wrong but your trying your hardest to make people see you did right. Something has happened to you that your having a hard time 'letting go' hence the visit to the bathroom. Perhaps you are trying to let someone/something go but want to keep it close just in case you made the wrong decesion. Have you ever been pregnant or are you pregnant?
Another thing i feel is maybe perhaps this situation...you had the bird closed in your hand..maybe your being 'closed' to the happiness this person or thing is bring to you and have not yet really agreed to accept it for what it is or what it could mean. Or maybe you are having a hard time letting yoursefl morn for something that you may lose and you keep 'breathing air' into the situation becasue you really want to enjoy it.
I get the feeling that if you are pregnant it may not be a considered 'tradition' in normal standards to maybe what your family considers traditional.
I could be wrong but that is what I am getting from this dream. hope it helped
Of course I would not mind^^
If you go to www.myspace.com/akashaskeep you can add yourself as a friend then I can contact you via that way for my personal email if you woudl like. (dont want to many people having it lol) But I would be glad to help you.
Thanks DFF! I'm on Facebook but not on myspace, so when I figure it out and get it set up I will do that.