I posted something up about this a little while ago, but still the answer eludes me. Answers I received to my first posting made sense and were helpful, but didn't sit right, if you know what I mean! And I hope no offence is taken by those who bothered to help either
I have been having sweetly romantic - but non sexual - dreams about a fellow who is about 16 years younger than me. I'm married, content to a degree (the spark died for me years ago and we decided the cause was my being frigid, which I'm no longer happy to accept) and this fellow is a mutual friend. I took little notice of these dreams until I had the fourth one which made me sit up. I saw him drive down the street a few days after this 4th dream and we looked at each other for a while, then nodded. Now usually, I'd wave like a lunatic as I'm very fond of this fellow and hopefully, he of me!! Normally, we joke around with a bit of intellectual sparring when we get together. However since that last sighting in the street, I've hardly seen him. I feel like contacting him as a friend just to see how he is, but am uncomfortable about doing so as stupidly, I'd feel like I was cheating after these dreams! I think he's had similar dreams himself as a psychic friend had said "he knows", so this is why I'm hesitant about making any sort of contact now, which frustrates me no end. Yet in each dream he either holds my hand or touches me on the back or stomach, or kisses me, and each time he does a bolt of electricity goes through me. I don't want to encourage some tawdry affair just because I'm middle aged and bored (nor am I egotistical enough to think he'd even look at me that way in real life) but I'd love to know if I'm alone in this dream thing - is it only me having them or does he as well? If so, what does he feel about them? And what does this mean for my future? I do feel these dreams are very important, but haven't quite uncovered their real significance yet.
If anyone has any insights here, please send 'em my way! And thanks in anticipation ...
I first have to say that I am only speaking my mind. These are just my feelings and thoughts about this. It could be just fantasy or it could be the truth. I dont know if I am clarvoiant, but my intuition has been at my own service for a long time.
I think this is a spiritual thing, and not about lust, since you dont have any sexual dreams about him and that you feel they are important of another reason.
A suggestion: I think perhaps this is a person that you know well from a previous life. Perhaps you were his mother or daughter in a previous life. it could mean that you recognice him from a previous life. I am just suggesting.
Is he living in celibacy? Or is he a person who has had few girlfriends? I think he is alone or he feels alone. But in a good way, not in a sad way. I think he likes being alone, since he does not like conflicts wich often comes with a relationship. He perhaps did have a girlfriend of high importance, but she was too complicated for him. Perhaps was hurt before, but now lives in peace without a girlfriend.
This could be a temporary situation. He perhaps is contemplating about his life and you are sensing this.
I dont think this is about you. I think this is about him thinking about his life and contemplating about what kind of girlfriend he could feel comfertable with.
And that because you are not sexual active and have rested on the conclusion that you are frigid, you are receptive to what this good man is contemplating about.
Celibacy can make us humans receptive to the invicible more than otherwise.
I think this is just about this mans temporary state since he is inbetween relationships or he has no girlfriend. I think it is just that.
If you want a relationship with this man, you are the one who must take the first step, since he is probably respecting your marriage.
But I am not advicing that you get together with this man. I dont think this will save you or save him.
But I advice you to take in this feeling that he has given you. Because it is making you feel loved and important and more alive. And all of this is true and good. But I think it is just about that you both live in celibacy or without that love-state in your relationships.
I think he is having sexual thougts about you. Romantic thougts.
But I advice you to not become this mans girlfriend. I think you are both just feeling something that will pass. I think you are both good people and that you both sense this about each other.
You are not the only one living without that illusion of a love life together with a loved one. I believe in seeking healing of the soul directly from God rather than from another human being.
I also believe that celibacy is a blessing. Many clarvoiant people and healers live in celibacy to get more dispatched from the world and become more clean in the inner feeling. It gives an opportunity to get to know your own soul.
Good luck again in your life.
Thanks THW, your comments are hugely appreciated. While I'm not quite living in celibacy myself (I just don't enjoy the act much, sadly) I believe he is, due to what you've said above. Also, not long ago, he had another married person throw herself at him whom he refused, and next thing he's accused of breaking up her marriage. He told me this, and I never doubted for a second the truth of his words. I know he is a noble and honourable person not capable of this sort of act. So this makes me hesitate even more to simply send him a text for heaven's sake!! I wonder if God would strike me down for doing so, as his friendship (if nothing else) would be something I'd welcome rather than no contact at all. Still, gut feelings dictate, so I follow 'em, for the time being at least.
But I find it strange that these dreams came to me after all is said and done, and worry he might think I'm "sending" them! I've often asked "why him" also, as he's not someone I'd looked at that way prior to this. But he's always been special to me and someone I've felt a need to look out for, however indirectly. I also agree with your saying I've known him very well in past lives, and that I probably was his mother in one of them - the echo of that life is in this one I'd say, considering the age difference.
Sometimes though, I've seen a future with him, but not for quite a while yet. I see us both sitting under that dream-tree, not needing anything or anyone else. Who knows ... though I know I have some choices to make; that and the fact I'm tired of living a life that doesn't quite seem true anymore will drive wherever I end up. All I hope is that I find peace in my soul after what has been an emotionally hellish life, to say the least, especially this year. I feel that I am no good to anyone else in my current state, so like him, I stay on my own as much as I can these days. But if only we could talk to each other about some of this; that's what I want the most at the moment - a kindred soul.
So again, thank you very much indeed for these helpful and illuminating comments. They are great food for thought. If you have anymore insights, I will gladly welcome them. And maybe I can help you with something? Let me know, and God bless xoxoxoxoxoxox
For one thing..The age and a new life with this person?Its not what you think...you said the spark is gone,I think you want the spark to come back like it was the first day you saw him.Dreams are not what they seem to be look past the person in your dream.START the spark back up.Take a week youll see a big change for the good
I wonder if you can feel something about the relationship between my father and my daugther.
Also I wonder if you can feel something about my future. I am doing a spiritual excercise. I am the only one in my area - my part of the country - who does this excercise. I have been waiting for people who will want to be part of this. Can you feel anything conserning this? Will people in my city join me in doing this kind of spiritual excercise?
If you can feel anything about these two aspects of my life, I would appreciate if you share it with me.
Hi Hanged Woman: I hope all is well w/you and your family. You know, older people have talents, skills and knowledge. Usually younger people would really like to learn something from them. I see this as a key between the relationship here. I see your daughter as someone that is looking for this. I think she has a key interest that she is going to use somewhere in her future. What skills does your dad have. My dad used to sit w/me and help me write book reports, for example. Helped me write and communicate my ideas effectively.
As for the spiritual exercise, you may get help here. Personally, I don't know where to start on something like that. I'll be happy joining you on this.
Also, if you're being guiding in some way about some aspect regarding me please let me know as well. Thank you!
What you have is not a marriage. What you have is a marriage of convenience that has withered on the vine. You are feeling trapped and the urge to do something about is manifesting in your dreams. This younger man is someone you find interesting, and the subconscious mind is letting you know there is no such thing as a frigid woman.
Either your husband knows nothing about a woman's sexuality or there is a lack of interest. Your dreams are subconscious longings for a "real" relationship, complete with all the right chemistry and desire rocking your boat, and the time has come to do something positive with your life rather than rotting on the vine.
An affair is not the answer you are looking for in life. You possess a deeper need for a relationship that is passionately meaningful. Divorce is never right for the wrong reasons. Perhaps, the two of you could seek counseling on how to renew your relationship the way it was in the beginning. Either way, your dreams are pointing to a need for change.
Thanks so much firefly. What you say here makes truckloads of sense. Sadly, we've been thru counselling and trying to re-awaken the spark more than once, but still nothing; for me at least - men always seem to keep it goin, if you know what I mean I guess now I'm at a point where I'm sick of accepting responsibility for what lacks in our relationship, and am also seeing that we both deserve better. I don't want an affair; you're dead on there (and I said it above). I also don't have a penchant for younger blokes, nor do I want to be driving around in a red porsche with the wind blowin in my face ... then again ...
I'm not in a great position to leave either; small country town, no job, no financial status of my own, and while I don't want to live a lie, I am feeling trapped by circumstance. Plus there's my 15 year old daughter. I keep asking for the strength and courage to do what I need to, in order to live honestly, but still here I am. And hubby ain't listening either, so have temporarily given up talking to him about it. Yegods, it comes rainin down on ya sometimes, don't it?
Again, thanks for your insights here; they're much appreciated. Thanks everyone else as well
In my opinion sex is not important. Firstly. And from there you might dismiss my ideas altoghether.
I just say that the most important thing to me is my own healing, and from there other people might benefit. Including my husband. I dont see what happens in bed as important at all. It is just something that the husband should enjoy for himself. I sincerely dont believe that women can enjoy sex. Sex is just something that the men like. Not for us women.
My understanding of the meaning of sex was disturbed because my dad felt lust for me. It made me feel awful, dirty and sick in my feelings. I only fell in love once in my life, and that was that. Because of shame I did not get together with him. I strongly believe that he felt the same for me, and I pretended to everyone except very some few, that I was in love with an other boy (we were 16). I felt really disgusting, but I just could not bare the thought of making my loved one dirty.
The importance of sex is really distroyed by peoples animal lust. It is an animal feeling.
I advice you to only care about your own healing from Heaven. All conflicts with anybody is of much less importance. First we must resolve our conflicts inside ourselved. Our conflicts we have with ourselves and with God is the most important conflict that we must resolve.
Everytime I wrote s e x it just comes like ***. Wow, this sure is protected against inconvenient words! Haha.
I'm so glad you wrote again as in reply to your questions above, I couldn't get anything that I felt I could post in all comfort, as I got that you might be worried about the relationship between your father and your daughter; about possible abuse or inappropriate behaviour? How old is your daughter? I get she's around ten or so, but very mature indeed for her age. This is why I didn't respond as I sure didn't want to open a can of worms or upset you in any way.
Look, I do feel that he thinks about history repeating itself, so to speak. He hasn't learned to control his urges and thinks they're okay and part of his divine right. Where that idea has come from is so deep-rooted in him; it's like he's been the subject of some sort of abuse in his childhood and even in past lives. Yet somehow, he has not realised how wrong this has been; it's like it was part of his life and he knows no better.
Your suspicions are on the mark and you need to keep a close watch on things between them. Don't leave them alone together. Where's your mum in all of this? Did she leave your dad? I just don't get that she's in the picture with him.
You've been the subject of one of the most heinous crimes to be inflicted on a child/young woman and I really feel for you. Your stance on sex is understandable and probably part of your path anyway. I do feel you're a very old soul who needed to depart from that part of human existence in order to cleanse your soul. Yet, you are a passionate lady who needs to find fulfilment in some way. You will find a group of people, but I get that it will start off with only one or two at first. The group will grow from there. You may move from where you presently live and will take your daughter with you, or encourage her to go too, depending on her age at the time this happens. Your biggest lesson in this life has been to trust yourself and your instincts and I feel you began to learn this very early on, even though you have doubted yourself quite often.
My message to you dear lady is: trust yourself, believe in yourself and visualise this group coming to you. I see a lady with dark, short hair who will be very instrumental in your personal healing and a small man with greyish hair who laughs a lot and could be called a modern-day Buddha! YOu will find these people soon; within twelve months I feel. They will be life-long friends.
I wish you very good luck in your life my friend and feel strongly that all will come in the best way possible for you. God knows you deserve it.
My last message is: trust what you suspect and take steps to protect what you love; feel no obligation towards your father anymore - you owe him nothing now.
Blessings to you and yours xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox PS: Thanks so much for your help too btw
-- YOU (we all do) want love.
-- Suggestion: treat your husband as a priest, as a king...
-- IF he would love you as he loved his own body,
and showed in words and ways great love to you,
you would respond.
--But most men do not focus upon appreciating the woman.
--Story: Kiss a frog and he turns into a prince!
-- but don't hold your breath
-- But then you have fulfilled your vow.
--- Focus upon your own spiritual growth.
Thanks TruthNow! Very interesting comments. We've talked about this, but hubby is convinced it's me and my "frigidity" which is to blame due to upbringing, etc, etc and won't be convinced otherwise. Yet the light has gone on and I see that's not the case. Still, he's a good man in so many ways and I just want the best for both of us; no more flogging dead horses, as the saying goes. Yes, my own growth is where I'll be heading methinks. He has his path; I have mine. It's time I followed it. Thank you very much indeed
Hi HangedWoman: I definately hear what your saying. This has happened to a lot of people. I was trying to avoid the inappropriate issue. I wouldn't forgive and forget and you know the best way to protect your daughter. I watch Nancy Grace nitely and it seems that women are involved in sex crimes as well as men. Also, violent crimes. So, please be careful. Inappropriate behavior happens in many families. I have heard many stories just from acquaintances and friends. I'm sorry that I can't offer more here.
Thank you to all of you.
In fact, I have allready met this woman with dark short hair. I am very patient. And I also have met this man who is always laughing and somehow might remind of Buddha hence his always laughing and smiling way of approaching the world. A kind of holy laughter filled with a kind of wisdom that I, myself, too got, that comes from a kind of spiritual rebirth. When ressurrected from the emotional hell, ressurrected by the will of God (as if being forced by divine will to not die but to continue life after my emotional kind of death where my inner life was totally disrupted and distroyed) then a divine joy filled me and the same kind of divine joy I feel in this short man.
You are clarvoiant, chris1962.
The thing is, I have to wait. Because I am not healed fully myself. Not completely. And I must be totally healed in my soul before I can do anything to let them know about the gift that I have. (Well total healing is ofcourse not possible, because we would then still not be able to live in this world).
I also believe that my wonderful husband will join this kind of spiritual path that I am walking. But this short happy man must come in first, because my husband kind of needs a second opinion first.
My path is to do a spiritual excercise called latihan. The organisation is called Subud. In case you guys were curious. But I kind of never expect anyone to care to hear about this, so I am afraid to mention this to people. I understand that. It is natural to fear the unknown. And healing of the soul is really a secret thing. I does not help much to talk about. It is not like psykology. It is above that.
I love you guys. Thank you for sharing. And thank you for your clarvoiance, Chris1962.
The *** is meant to be h e ll. Why is this word taken away?
I did not tell my mom about my dads interest in me. I was 13 years old when he changed and became a man who wanted to talk with me about s ex a lot. I got mad at him and kept myself away from him. I was afraid that he would come near me, so I stayed away from him. He never raped me. Just once he put his tongue in my mouth. I was 13 then. That made me feel that he believed that he could have s ex with me if he wanted. That made me sad, because it made me feel that he believed that I was sick in my head, had mental problems, was dirty and mentally handicapped (stupid).
I did not really think he wanted to have s ex with me. Just that he saw me as perverted and brain damaged. Only a brain damaged girl would have interest in his dad in that way. So I got very angry with him and with myself since he had so bad and low thoughts about me.
I now know that this is called emotional abuse and that it is illegal. Because this was so disgusting and making me feel som much shame about his misunderstanding about me, and because my mom was always unhappy and complaining about everything - I did not tell her or anybody else about this. Also because I did not really understand or have any words describing what my dad was doing. And since I kept him away from me, he never really got the chance to show me either - thank God for that!
Back to you, Chris1962. I think that the reason that you are having these dreams, are also about remembering a holy kind of love for another human being. Since you feel that these dreams are trying to tell you something important. I think that the message to you is that your soul is forever and that you dont need to worry about anything. This holy state you feel in the dreams has to do with remembering who you are. That you are loved, and that that love is regardless of what body you are in. You are forever. You have lived before, wich this young man is making you "remember", and you are loved forever by Heaven and by other souls that are in this world - in previous lives and in this life. And will continue to be loved by divine souls forever and ever and ever. This is a good love state that I can not advice you to go against. But I dont advice you to follow it either because Gods wish for us is that we remember who we are by giving our lives and souls and minds and bodies totally to Heaven, so that Heaven will come down on us and revive us on all levels.
It is not necessary to surrender ourselves to another human being to become revived. This is one reason why Jesus Christ did not have a wife. Because people were saying: "If only I marry the right person, then I will come to Heaven." This was making Heaven sad. There is nothing we must do to become healed in our souls other than to surrender our selves totally to Heaven. Then Heaven will enter our consionceness and cleance our inner feelings, bodies and souls.
That is why I say it is really not necessary to get together with this young man to get your healing from God. God is allready with you.
I wish you could talk to this young man (who by the way is the same age as me) and tell him how you feel. But I dont know if this is such a good idea. It should perhaps be enough what already has happened in the invisible world between you. I am afraid that he or you will get hurt then. For example if you divorce your husband for him and then you are having a conflict and then you are without any of them.
It could be that you are just sensing his feelings and wish for a companion and you want to be there for him. I feel this is more the case than anything else. And it would at the same time give you what you have wished for: A younger man. Was that not what you said you have wished for the last 8 years?
Have you heard about numerology. In numerology it is said: What a person yearns for in 7 years, the 8th year it will be harvested. But still: Not all we yearn for is divine will. Just your will and then Heaven answers because you did not stop asking for it. As it says in the Bible: God gives in the end just to make the person stop asking for it over and over again.
I'm in a mostly happy relationship with a visually impaired older man (older than me by 34 years-- I'm young!-- except he seems like a college kid or younger usually because he's healthy and fun-loving and believes in freedom), I'm autistic and have much freedom to be grateful for. Sometimes he makes unreasonable and confusing demands, especially involving s e x, and his disappointment that I don't participate in mall trips and that I lock the bathroom door and wear my comfortable pajamas to bed. But his sense of humor is just as unique and babyish as mine sometimes-- this relationship's too precious to allow these absurd petty conflicts to destroy it by imposing on a few of my prerogatives & privacy and freewill. But I also have a karmic crush on this young man only 11 years older than me, who lived a couple streets from me when I was born, and we were both moved from that vicinity in 1981, at ages 4 and 15 respectively-- and he also lived in another town same time I did some few years ago, and he began visiting this good friend of mine-- former hallway neighbor specializing in autistic education and only 6 years older than me-- at the same house that I now live in-- before my dear man and I were to move in. Then she introduced me to him at her wedding AFTER she moved out from across the hall from me, when I should've been able to meet him when he visited her in our apartment house while she and I both lived there for 2 years, or even in our last hometown (but it's more special she introduced us! And at her WEDDING!) Last week he and I attended another wedding together and he's the only one who I attended the last one with, none of those others attended my last one! Not even my best friend my age who looks like him, who also attended THIS wedding with us- not last time- just me and him last wedding. He's the only mutual connection between BOTH weddings! And exactly a year ago I discovered he moved local a couple months from the wedding-- that was my 2nd meeting with him-- then we clicked even FURTHER, and I unexpectedly developed a crush on him! To make it MORE remarkable, he got severely attacked by criminals near home after the wedding a few hours after our initial meeting and bonding as kindred souls (I was mildly attacked near home in December 2007; his grand-scale attack had been suffered last day of May last year after we met at the wedding; and my aforementioned best friend was almost attacked but simply accosted in front of her house last August that she fended off!) He's bisexual and reminds me slightly of my beloved, but on this one closer to my age I have a lust-crush, not true love- none of the depth my elder beloved and I feel mutually for each other. Also that poor thing (the younger one) has addiction issues and family estrangement. He also remarkably resembles a best friend of mine my own exact year-age, another addict too! Who was this fun, adorable, maddening, odd, elfin guy in my past life? And who were my beloved and his twin brother (who I used to have a crush on before the younger man) and my 2 best friends and my original close friend the first bride and her groom in my past lives?
Aw HW, this is truly more food for thought, and I appreciate it my friend. Funny thing: I took a huge risk and texted him yesterday - just as a friend, mind - and the texting went back and forth for quite a bit, then he called later yesterday afternoon. We yakked away as good old friends and he's coming out for a reading with me which is a TOTAL SHOCK as this fellow is not someone who shares his feelings or thoughts with many people and also not someone who'd go for a reading - but he asked me, jokingly, to do one for him, so who'm I to say no?? I realise though, that I need to be very, very careful here, while feeling this sense of excitement; like finally, the lines of communication are open. I realise things with him are a completely separate issue to where I'm at myself. I've made up my mind that I will save myself, thank you very much (with the help of Spirit of course), but having him in my life in any capacity is all I want for now and I just feel happy that it seems he trusts me enough to have me do a reading for him. And even more strangely, I feel I can trust him with my life.
Still, I am constantly praying for guidance here; that I don't make a mistake and that whatever decision I come to will be the right one for me and all concerned. God knows, I am thinking of others here as well as myself, yet I know that I must make the choice most necessary for me this time rather than putting myself last as I've always done in the past. Shew!
Just thought I'd mention too that I haven't been "wishing" for a younger man, but rather, been dreaming of a younger fellow for, yes, seven years (at least seven years up until I started dreaming of this man). I'll say that I never CONSCIOUSLY wished for a younger man, nor did I wish to know who this "faceless" younger man was, but the universe obviously had other ideas!! Funny thing too, when I started having these dreams of a younger fellow seven years ago, I got that he was about 25 or so. Ain't that funny considering this man is now almost 32?
Ah life is a funny trip, ain't it? While I battle with feelings of guilt over this, I'm realising that my own joy is important too. And as said above, I pray for guidance that I do this the right way. His friendship is important to me and so is that of my husband. It is a fine line I tread as I'm not one to be sneaky or lie or go behind peoples' backs, but I don't have a lot of choice in this at the moment; I feel that very strongly. A leap of faith I believe it's called ... yes, I've taken it by opening the lines of communication with him. I'll just have to see how it pans out from hereonin and hope that whatever comes is dealt with in a fair and just manner, as my angel cards tell me they will be.
Thank you again for your help here. I'm very, very glad I have been of help to you, because as I said, you deserve the best my friend. Bless you