Out you go!



  • Bye spammers....



  • Captain quick question is my boyfriend a narcissist and why does he behave the way he does. He seems rather self serving and to lack empathy for my feelings?



  • Captain quick question is my boyfriend a narcissist and why does he behave the way he does. He seems rather self serving and to lack empathy for my feelings?



  • He also feels the same way about you.



  • I honestly don't understand why? I'm there for him often



  • We have been growing apart due to his anger in my opinion he claims its stress but he has pushed me away. I feel like he uses me sometimes and doesn't love or care about me. Could you give me some insight? I have been rather confused



  • I don't think it's a coincidence that you chose a thread entitled "OUT YOU GO!"

    Nothing will change in this situation until you do. It's a hard truth at times.



  • Very interesting you're very right Watergirl



  • No matter how much we may want to help and give our love and support to someone, their internal issues may be too great for anyone else to solve. I feel your partner needs to devote himself full time to working through his issues - without feeling responsible for his family. It may be tough on you but you may have to let him go so he can have the time to heal. He is not going to get better while he is not dealing with his problems. It might take the shock of being alone to wake him up.



  • Yes, that's what I meant by the situation will not change until you do. You have been trying very hard to change HIM. This is impossible - for us to change someone else. He has to want the change himself. The only person you have control over is yourself. If the situation is not good for you, if your needs are not being met, if you are unhappy where you are and how things are, then you have to make a change for yourself. If that gives him the motivation to want to make changes in himself, then great. But if not, then at least you have made a positive step forward for YOU.



  • I agree with you both and we both agree on living separately and working on bettering our lives and it has been a burden for me to deal with his issues because for the longest I feel I tried helping him to the point I realized years later that I was hurting myself. My financial situation is in a stat line of crisis and we have been having to live in the same household with his toxic family. I've tried government assistance, shelters and have been looking for a place in the mean time. It's just hard living with each other with our own issues and his family's choaticness but I have to stay as I save unfortunately I have been looking around everywhere. I want a place for just me and my son. Me and Rene are just trying to learn how to live with each other and work on ourselves individually through this tough process. I have been guilt tripping on myself lately and want so much for myself



  • I do have hope but my energy is draining we were great friends before this so we understand that parting is best at this time. It's just tough to be patient in this very draining financial situation. It's been hard for me to find a place that has been economically feasible for me. Sometimes I feel depressed but I know to keep pushing for my future. I just feel stuck and it takes alot for me to motivate myself and be patient but it does get done. I'm open to most opportunities at this time for a place to stay



  • Would your partner support you with money for your child if you moved out?



  • ...



  • He says he will and told me he understands and is supportive of my decision and knows I'm doing it for my own good.



  • That sounds positive.



  • My boyfriends frustrations are really hurting me. I try to take it day by day and plan to move out but his energy can be so draining. What is going on with him?



  • He feels like a failure, that he is not achieving his dreams or helping his family..



  • He has expressed that to me before. Life has been very hard but I have grown up slot since first being on this site 4 years ago. I've trained my mind alot more with positive reinforcement. I try finding myself again to renew all my energy whenever I have so much going on. Getting demoted at my job really hurt me because I was really passionate and felt so excited about my job. I actually picked myself up and found another one today. I supposedly start this new job on Monday hopefully if gives me a fresh start and I can have more money to push myself forward. I haven't been happy at the job I'm currently working. Will this one be any better? Do you see me moving out of Rene's parents home any time soon?



  • Yes, this is a great new start for you. You were right to never give up. When one door closes, as they say, a better one opens. it's too bad your partner is not as optimistic.


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