Why is it so hard to understand a scorpio?!?!?!
i am a scorpio. just recently seporated with my boyfriend. the reason we broke up was because he said he didn't love me. being a scorpio that cut deep, but i have pulled myself out of my slumper and ecided to start dating again, and i kinda like this guy. well i found out that i will be moving over seas at the first of the year for work. i was honest with the guy that i was seeing (to let him know that i was not needing anything serious) he said he felt the same but does like to hang out with me. i think at that point i i hurt his pride. he quit calling, and texting. if i text or call he would respond. he then tells my bestfriends boyfriend that HE didn't want anything serious. he made it sound like he was doing away with me. now i feel so rejected by not only by my ex boyfriend, but now another guy too.
now saying all that is it just me being a rejected sorpion or do i have issues, or is my heart just still bruised? some one please help!!!
This feeling you have is typical female. We tend to selfblame when guys react like this new guy of yours. However you were upfront, sincere, truthful.
Whatever hurt he may fee, dont take it on you. A way to smooth this is to let him know you sad it because its not fair to start anything serious when in a couple of months it will be an longdistance thing. And those are hard to keep alive.
Another approach is, ask him how he sees this hypothetical for now relationship go to? With you overseas and him here?
i think he reacted in sense as a rejection, like he was not worth dating till you leave. A thing you need to remember is, in the game of dating and lovebuilding are both genders fearful of the same thing. REJECTION.
Now you can place yourself in his shoes and har the words you said to him regard a potential relationship and your plans. Say it as if he said those to you. Let the words sink in, feel the emotions.
Now you will know how he felt and you may understand his reaction.
And yes on the first glance one would say, what has he to be mad and pissed about? How old is he? and dont you dare take his blame.
I aint saying you should because come on, its not your fault he feels as he does and acts as he does. Again you were upfront and truthful, guarding ya heart also was what ya did. How can any be mad at that?
But again its down to how you communicate this to the other party. And well we women tend to forget that men too have feelings. They aint the stronger sex, they are the weaker one, because they have that whole dont no show emotions, it aint manly or and macho enough.
I can go on, but I wont. I believe once yoy have told him its out of fairness to him you dont want anything serious BUT by this you aint saying no to him as person, as friend or as a date.
So try the approach in which you use, outta of fairness to you i said as i did, bc i dunno if a long distance can work.
Good luck Enne!
laithano last edited by
This post is deleted!
thank you guys! i did go back to think about how i would feel if he had told me something like that. i would have felt rejected too (once again lol) i was so excited that i was going that i didn't think about how i rejected him first. i see what you mean.
do you think i should talk to him about it? or should i just let things be and not contact him at all?
i have some idea of what you mean about the triple scorpio, i'm a double. i do need to let things go and try not to "steer the situation" but i just can't help myself. my moto seems to be " if i don't do it then it won't be done right!" lol sometimes i over think things so much that it hurts me physically, as well as mentally. i dont like it but here i am doing it again. like i'm glutten for punishment or something. i listen to Mary Ochino every week morning on the way to work, ,and i think that she would call me a chihuahua. if its not here and now i'm not satisfied. i harp and harp on it so much that i end up beating a dead horse in the end.
Firefly01 last edited by
He's the one who does not appreciate what you are all about. Chalk it up to experience and search for someone whose inner beauty matches what you are looking for in a man.
As a Pisces who is currently in an untraditional relationship with a Scorpio, I can tell you that if he was truly interested, he would have done anything in his power to keep you.
thank you! i haven't talked to him so i do think i'll just let it be. cuz you're right!
2knowmeis2luvme last edited by
Don't feel rejected. The guy wanted a serious relationship and you were a possible canidate but, your life situation for next year, took you out of the running. You aren't available.
Think of it like this: You are in the market to find a home, rent to possibly own. You find one that suits in every way, it sparks your imagination to all the wonderful things you can to do make it your own and the place you feel safe in, your sanctuary. Your ready to say yes to renting it. the realtor tells you that the lease can only be for 5 months because after that, the owners are having the house dismantled and moved to another country. Do you move in and invest all that time and love into it?
So, on that same note: he is avoiding a heartbreak when your dismantled and moved to another country. He sees potential for a great and loving relationship, he also sees many nights of crying and feeling worse then if he's never had Scorpio love.
Him telling a guy that He said it first just protects his ego and saves face with the guys, they would razz him soo bad if he said that he was willing to give up his playa card for you and you rejected him. You know what the truth is. Don't rat him out, just say because your leaving the country, you both decided it wouldn't be a good idea. He's a man that's looking for a mate. respect that and leave him alone. Don't be surprised if he's in a relationship before you leave and don't take it personal, he just needs someone that will be here.
I remember when I was young, I used to take things personal but, as I got older and studied people, you come to find out people don't really think about YOU or look at you, as much or as hard as you think they do. most people are thinking that others are looking at them and judging them also. most people are self absorbed.
You only got 5 months left here, forget about making new boyfriends, start doing things with old friends and family. Learn about you and learn to like you. Men will always be there. I'm an over the hill thick Scorpio and I can catch men, wayy to young and old, without even trying. I have a lot of self confidence. You sound like you need to get yours up. Educate you about YOU. What are your strong points? mine are I'm curious and I learn things fast. I read people pretty well. I can get people to tell me their life stories without really trying, I can keep a group of people talking and laughing for hours. When I believe in something or someone, I give it my all and am very passionate about it. I'm not ashamed of my intensity. I also know I need someone that is capable of understanding and wants that kind of loyalty and passion in their lives. Mostly water signs can understand and relate to other water signs. I am currently with a very smart and business savy Cancer, they are a lot like Scorpios except where we may turn into some raging creature and we will tell you to "Back off" "respect me or else I'm going to sting you" Cancers will get in a mood and brood and hide in their shells for days...unless you do like me, and I can't take the days of brooding, I keep poking my Cancer and he comes out of his shell fiesty and using his big snotty word phrases, which he uses to cover up his intensity. It makes me laugh on the inside and I use my big word phrases too! If I'm wrong and I hurt his feelings, I apologize and offer to do something to make up for it. Now, he gets fiesty with me when he feels it, I love it! we don't argue we have heated debates!, I feel everyone is entitled to their view point. I have learned soo much about him when we debate about issues we feel passionate about!! ( the intimacy after is always soo intense too!!) Relationships aren't about being right or wrong, they are about relating/knowing/ respecting each other. Don't keep score. Don't blame. Don't use words like "you never" "Always" "why can't you..." if you feel the need to use those words, time to look for another man that has all those qualities your asking for. Otherwise, it's like having a junker 4 cyl. car and wishing it had as much horse power and looked as good as a Mustang!
HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAH THIS IS GOOD ADVICE 2KNOWMEIS2LOVEME. I LUV IT.
However, what do u do if ur cancer ignores ya pokings? LOL
2knowmeis2luvme last edited by
to Bente Stoker- if he ignores your poking, time to find another guy. Mine responds because he doesn't want to lose me. Men choose the woman they want to be with and the woman decides if she wants to accept or not. Its something I learned years ago from my elders. It doesn't work if the woman chases the man. My guy chose me. We had talked on the phone for weeks. When he first met me, he kissed me. I was shocked and it felt like we've been doing it for years. He's got full kissie lips, He was claiming me. I know I'm not going anywhere, I tried a couple of times. Believe me, I had lost patience with his emotional boundries! Even when I forced his hand and made him mad at me for 4days and I told him that if he had to break our friendship and stop talking to me because I used his address, I understood. He told me it wasn't that serious and he became a total sweetheart and very attentive, he even sent me a long email. I labeled it my love letter, it was a full page! Now when he leaves town, I get keys to everything, including the Benz and the postal mailbox. I get his Rav4 to drive and I drop him off and pick him up from the airport now. I feel very surrounded by him, even when he's not here.
I know from reading some of your replies, Esp. in the confusing Cancer, that you have 3 guys. From what I was feeling, your actually the stronger, more together person out of all 4 of you. Your guys are friends. I love my guy friends too but, until Lawrence came along, I didn't admit they were ALL wrong for me. Your guys are like my guy friends, they have issues that keep them self absorbed right now. Hurts, insecurities. They are your emotional vampires. The 3 guys may not be meant for you and I know this is the year that your ready to get married. and your looking at what you got on hand. This is also the year for new beginnings. You need a man that chooses you and wants to be with you. You need to get out there, if you like to dance, go to some cultural gathering. I know, I hate the dating thing too. Mine doesn't say much but, I got his feelings in an email, " you intrigue me" " Your smart, creative" " I value you as a person" " You make me see myself in a different light." He laughs at my jokes, he smiles whenever he sees me...except when my hair was orange, he didn't say anything but, I could read on his face, "What the heck did you do to your HAIR??!!" I dyed it brown 2 days later. He and I are soo alike and yet different. My weak points are his strong points and vice versa. When he's here, he calls so he can come by to see me, he doesn't need a reason. I know we are going to be in each others lives for years. It's too soon for me to even get my mind wrapped around marriage, he and I both are afraid of THAT!! We just enjoy the friendship and the business bigger.
Well hon mine is getting there to woo me into a full relationship. it took its time but hey he has juss been through a nasty divorce n his ex keeps hauling him back to court. if u look SHREW up in the dictionary you will see that ex´s mugshot.
im happy its taken so short a time for him to get back on he horse so to say. useally men take longer so yea small progress is good lol
besides i dont like race at all LOL
Aylaza last edited by
HI I stumbled in here intrigued by the Scorpio perspective I am a Taurean... so my interest is how the hell do the Bull and The Scorpio gel without all that passion blowing up in our sensitive faces!
Four slow months of seeing each other only at weekends... and yes, sadly, 3 pretty hectic moments already! I find we are both very stubborn LOL. We both take offence very quickly and retreat to sulk. Yet after our last outburst, it was over!! Not quite! A few days of sulking later and we are tentatively creeping back and wondering how we got so embroiled and heated over 'what exactly?'.
Am I right in saying there will be a lot of head butting and stinging in this relationship? How do we learn to compromise without feeling done in? The passion is there.. as is to be expected with a Scorpio partner.. and I am loving it grin. But wow, the rollercoaster of sensitive feelings being stung / fobbed off is painful to endure and not react to with typical Taurean stubborness!
I know he is passionate about me, as I am about him. He is much older than me but that no longer bothers me - truly. I am drawn to him like a magnet, when his gaze is on me I am mesmerized Yip, I am recklessly in love with my passionate Scorpio! Now I need to learn how to embrace his sting and bring out the eagle that will soar with my love...
docschrock last edited by
Well i have been reading all about scorpio men and i have a scorpio, and trust me it is a rollercoaster i have been with mine for nine years and yes we do alot of fighting but we also have alot of adventures, when we fight it dont last long but the bite he can give hurts, but im a leo so i am compassionate and very forgiving, lol i usually say i am done and its over but with in a few hours we come back to each other and its been that way forever, and the full moon thing with his is unreal, its like i stay away the day before and the day of and the day after, i know hes on a war path then, but we have been together for along time, and he has to have control or hes not happy, so i have learned to let him think he has control and it has worked out very well, my little suggestions as to make him think that he thought it makes it so we dont fight as much...and possessive he is very much also, he dont like for me to talk to men what so ever at first it was terrible but now i have him calmed down to that fact that he dont want to beat every man i talk to up, hes coming around and we are both learning how do deal with each other and now things go smooth for a couple of days and then all heck breaks loose for a day or so then we are right on the same page again. So it does take time to get use to a scorpio male.. good luck and just hang in there because their love is very powerful if they love you, you have them for good, they dont like to give anything up.
honestly we are just looking for the fight, not to fight (we'd rather not fight) but to keep the passion and the exciment going! it gives us a new day, a new flirt, a brand new start! BUT do not start the fight with us, we will harbor it until we need ammo!!! expect that from your scorpio!
scorpio men are worse than women though. they will be more likely to sting you than the females. they know what they want and they're not about to give up until they've got it! lol the female scorpions will manipulate a situation to get what they want!
kimmy771 last edited by
In need of some scorpio advice. I’m a cancer woman and he’s scorpio male. To make a long story short, my ex scorpio and I have not been together for a year now; however he was vindictive after our break up and got himself a new lady and still continued to be rediculously mean to me. He esentially caused the tornado that demolished our relationship. Lived together for a year as well. I moved out temporarily, or so I thought. We loved eachother to the moon and back; had that passionate and emotional connection. We were inseperable even living together; it’s almost sickening when I look back on it. Anyway, the last time we spoke was about 7 months ago around my birthday. He blocked me on facebook and it upset me, and I contacted him asking why we just couldn’t be civil since we had a history together. and the convo did not end nicely. He made it clear by screaming at me on the phone that he wanted nothing to do with me because i was his “ex” and we could not even be civil and it’s “out of respect for his girlfriend” as well as he “doesn’t care whats going on in my life or anything that has to do with me” . Keep in mind even after our break up it dragged out for almost 8 months and that one incident was nothing. We haven’t spoken since then. I’ve been silent and did not contact him at all. About a month ago after all these months I noticed he unblocked me on fbook. Then to make it worse; At my work the other night (which he knows where I work) he showed up randomly with his friend. I was bartending, and then saw him. He was almost hiding behind his friend apprehensive to approach me. Everytime I looked in his direction he was staring right into my eyes. This continued for the next hour or so. Staring hard into my eyes. I broke the ice by making his friend and him a drink and made it strong. A little later after I guess he had “liquid courage” he asked me for a drink and was trying to joke around with me. I felt so uncomfortable because there was so much unresolved issues between us. I laughed it off and made him his new drink; And he starts asking me how my family is; going down the list of my relatives. I was giving one word answers because I’m still confused as to why he was at my job. (He never goes there) I decided to be nice and ask how his girlfriend was; and he laughed and said “be nice; she’s good.” I replied; haha I don’t give a sh*t I’m seeing someone else.” Then he says “Ok, then why are you over here talking to me?” And I said right back; “Um, what the hell are you doing at my job?” ( he was practically up my butt the whole night; you would of thought we were best friends. But I was sweet and sour with him. FInally I just got so agitated that he was there acting like everything was fine and I went to the bathroom. Ironically he was walking into the mens bathroom. He stops me, and says “Come on, I want to be civil; I want to be friends”. I got angry and said “Why are you here? And thats not going to happen because the guy I’m dating wouldn’t appreciate that.” We went back and forth saying things like “go be with your girl” and him saying “go be with your man” etc. For a minute I thought it was about to blow up..but then He tried to keep it cool infront of me when I told him my new man wouldn’t appreciate us being civil but he got so mad he told his friend he wanted to leave; but then his friend convinced him to stay and just relax. Then I felt bad and didn’t want to leave it off like that, so I told him to meet me outside to smoke a ciggarette out back. We walked outside and he lights my ciggarette for me and started talking. I told him that I appreciated him attempting to be civil or friends or whatever, but it’s not going to happen and I didn’t know what to think of it. He goes on about how happy he is now in his relationship and how he never thought he would of met her after me and how shes a sweet girl. (April 2011 by the way when we talked on the phone he told me he had a hard time accepting that his new lady wasn’t me for a while”.) Then he says “You and I were together did our thing and we’re not 2gether anymore so it is what it is.” I just said ok, and told him I just wanted him to be happy and I hoped he wished the same for me. He said he did, and said “you’ll eventually find somebody, you’re a good girl”. I reminded him (it was like he was in denial) that I was seeing someone that treats me really well. He then says “Better than I treated you? That must be pretty damn good”. I said “Yep, better than you”. He just laughed and said “Ok, go be with your man”. He then wanted to go back inside to meet back up with his friend; more like a quick exit. I told him to wait, and said whats the real reason you’re here. He said he was just “out” which was bs. Then he goes on about how apparently his girlfriend’s “ex” is still around her family and he said it’s “akward”. So i said, so thats what this is about; you’re here out of spite? He replied “no not at all.” I felt like he was just trying to justify why he was at my job. Anyway, if he wanted to spite her I would be the wrong person to do it because she hates my guts and wants him nowhere near me and would not be happy if it got back to her that he was sitting at the bar I worked at acting like we’re best friends. Then somehow we started making our old “inside jokes” when we were together and made eachother laugh a little bit. He told me to “come here” and called me his pet name for me when we were together and hugged me. Not just a “hi how are you doing hug, more like a let me hold you hug. I felt weird because I knew he was drunk and I was still in disbelief and couldn’t figure out his real intentions, so it was more him hugging me. I kept my head into his chest as he squeezed me glanced up real quick and it felt like we were about to kiss or something but we both quickly pulled away. We went back inside. Later he was out on the dance floor dancing with girls and occassionally peeped over at the bar I swear to try to see if I was seeing it. It was like he wanted me to see it. His friend and him ended up leaving quickly because there was some arguement outside and the cops came. We were closing down the bar and the DJ asked me if I was ok, because I seemed like I had a lot on my mind that night. I told him I was just stressed because my ex did a surprise appearance on me. He then says, “I know who you’re talking about, he was the dude outside earlier smoking a cig asking me if I knew the bartender with a flower in her hair and talkin about u.” (the girl with the flower in her hair was me. I don’t understand what all of this means; Now he wants to be “civil”? I feel like if he was truly happy with his girlfriend why would he be seeking me out like this. I don’t understand. What do I do??! Please help!