Friendship gone really really really weird



  • So like two days ago my guy friend was getting a little frisky with me. And started like touching like private places of mine. First I thought he was just kidding because he does over the top things sometimes. But then he started going lower and lower and trying to give me hickeys. And he wanted me to have sex with him. And he knows I am abstinent and all that, so he's like it doesn't count the other way. So after a while I finally got him to get the hell off me and things just kinda went back to normal. But when I saw him the next day (yesterday) he kinda acted like nothing happened. He's a Sagittarius and I am A Scorpio btw. I don't want to talk about it with my other friend that's a girl because I don't want things to get weird between the three of us. I guess the question I am asking is. . . how do I address this problem without it being weird? Do you think this problem will just go away? And I am not sure if he likes me or just wants to take my virginity. I feel kinda stupid asking this but whatever.



  • Don't waste your time worrying about him. You want a loving and responsible relationship. That's wonderful. You know, you are going to run into this on your journey thru life. If it doesn't seem right, well, it probably isn't. Give yourself credit for being the smart person that you are.

    I had an experience w/a Sag that I thought was my friend. We use to work together. He worked 2 jobs because his wife had cancer and he needed it for doctors bills. I had some work at my house that he did for me. I paid him for the work. He started talking about how he would like to have sex w/me and what he wanted to do. I told him I didn't want to listen to it. But, he continued. I never felt close to him anymore. This guy could talk your ear off anyway. This is just an experience that reminded me of your experience. A lot of guys just want gratification. You know what you want, never settle for less. Hope this helps. Best wishes always.



  • Just a word of WARNING: This is coming from a Leo {myself}. When I read what you wrote, it sounded like you were coming from a victim's standpoint! Like you had already been raped! You are not the victim dear, so stop talking & handling the situation like one. Just be straight-forward with him about how it made you feel. If he gives you lip about it, make sure his reputation goes to hell {If it's not already there} within your mutual circle of friends. You never know....They might have had the same experience you did and not wanted too say anything too.



  • This is going nowhere... You cant judge again how people feel! It is not up to you to say or judge how violated or hurt someone felt!! ... Generally speaking, we all found men that want instant gratification from a woman. The problem is when the man you trust completely and you found as very special is doing this to you. In the past, all the men i met were really good at making a difference between women they can "play" with and women you "respect". I can imagine how this poor woman felt when this man who she was feeling so high about treated her like a "sex object". How could he not make the difference? Why did he try to use someone's feelings for instant gratification when he knew she was not that type of woman?



  • He was looking for one thing only. By trying to put hickeys on your neck would give others the indication that he was intimate with you. He is going to keep trying until you let your guard down. These over the top kind of things is his way of getting away with unwanted behavior. Never be alone with him again. You could find yourself in a position you cannot get out of.



  • Listen to Dalia. She's talking sense.



  • It's sounds like the two of you are pretty young. (Certainly younger than me anyway). It could very well have been 'innocent' enough. You have a budding friendship, he's attracted to you sexually, and decided to 'test the waters' to see if you would say 'yes'.

    It seems you reacted fairly normally. You weren't interested in 'that', and basically said 'no'. Then he backed off. Now he's pretty much acting like 'nothing happened'. This could be for various reasons. What comes to mind is to 'save face' because he may be embarraced by the 'rejection', or it could be that he does value the 'friendship' enough that he doesn't want to lose that level of closeness.

    Personally, I would be inclined to leave it as it is for now and address the issue if he tries it again or bridges the subject again. Then be very clear, and very firm and tell him openly and honestly that those advances are not welcome and not appreciated. That you are happy being friends and don't want anything sexual with him. (Or whatever you are feeling about it.) Tell him quite frankly that if he persisted, then it would ruin the friendship. If he is truly interested in friendship, then this should be enough to ensure he 'backs off'. If he turns into an @sshole or a jerk from this, then it means he didn't value the friendship anyway, and isn't worth wasting your time or energy over.



  • Since Sagittarius people aren't really the people to make something like this ruin friendship, you shouldn't either. He's very easy-going. Since he acts like it didn't happen, move on and forget about it.



  • I have the same situation with my friend. I am a Scorpio and he is a Sag too. He does the over the top things to me too: dancing up on me, touching my chest. When we are alone, he tries to get intimate (not that I mind though), then he says that we are just friends and he was just playing. The Scorpio part of me wants to gouge his eyes out because us Scorpios do not like being played with. We went out when we were 11. I still love him, and I know he loves me and is attracted to me.

    But from knowing him for 12 years I can tell you that Saggis like to play these kinds of games. They are very sexual and playful, and being Scorpios, we have a way of taking things more seriously than Saggis plan them to be. The one thing Saggis value and can commit to are their friends. I don't think that he wants to lose you, so if he tries it again and you don't like it, tell him that if he doesn't stop, you will stop talking to him. He will miss the loyalty and dependability us Scorpios are know to have and your opinion matters a lot to him and and therefore you have a lot of power over him, even if he doesn't let you know that. And because of all that, he will try to make you happy. Believe me it works! How do you think I kept my Saggi friend around for 12 years?



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  • I am a sag woman dating a scorpio. I have lots of guy friends. We can get out there at times. Myself being a sag could just laugh it off and go on. But if this really bothering you TALK to him about it. I know how scropios internalize everything. Sags like to talk and bs so maybe that will help. Hope this helps



  • I have to agree with Dreamernorth and Dahlia.. I would let it go this time, but if he step over your bounds of personal space I'd tell him. Just tell him you choose to wait till your married or that you want to wait until your in love. I think he would respect your choice. My daughter waited until she was married and guys gave her a ribbing and tried to coax her into changing her mind. She would not budge, they ended up respecting her for her choice in the long run. I know it felt like he really crossed the line with you, but if he is your true friend talk to him and clear the air [just tell him the way it is..Period]. Your friendship could be stronger because of it, you should never be shy to speak what is in your heart.. All the best



  • Hello!

    I'm a Scorpio Mom with 3 kids-2 boys & 1 girl. One son is an 18 yr old Sag. He's on girlfriend #2; they're in love, really have loved each other since @ 8th grade. She's a Virgo. He's your textbook Sag, she's quite feisty! ( I'm not real well versed @ Virgos ) Anyway, yes, the Saggis like their sex! And his Virgo gal, they've been great pals for a long time, was not ready for as much sex as he was. Mind you, I'm the Mom, so only know so much...My son and his gal do seem to argue a lot! She has made him play by her rules, and he likes that even though he's been frustrated! Both of them seem to enjoy the arguing thing-and the sexual tension has gone away...? So who knows how that resolved itself! Hope this helped somehow. Having a daughter, I'd say-stay true to yourself, no matter what!

    Lisa



  • Does he respect what you say or does he just go along with you? Listen to your intuition in the pit of your stomach everytime he comes around. This will tell you if he is up to no good. If he tried this now, he will try it again and it's up to you to control this. Don't allow him to come around as often anymore. You can keep things friendly, but let him know this was not okay in a hidden manner. If he asks why you are distant, and apologizes then he respects you, tell him how you feel and how angry this made you, and that he is never to do this again, if he values your friendship. Then the next step is to see if he means his apology. If he does, he will treat you even better without all of the personal stuff.