bump 3....the charm?
Sorry to have missed your post!
Please read this daily message below - something made me want to share it with you...
OMG! You are in the flow! My post very much echos this and was straight from Spirit....I can't redo those once they are gone! Monday I got hit from all directions every negative issue in my life lately.....all within 3 hours! Did I need that big PUSH....just to get B...A..L..Z enough to react in a way that peace loving me resists?AND right on that sudden feeling after I had that last word on all fronts and detached.....didn't even open return e-mails...texts...or calls. I GET IT. Thank you for validating!
I received an email Friday night - not from the person I've been dealing with but her boss's boss (haha). it was a revised Agreement and they took out just about everything I objected to. It was a 17 page document and now it's only 4. HOWEVER, there are a few things missing that need to be in there. I'm hoping it was an oversight since this was not a revision to the original contract but an entirely new contract. I emailed him back asking if he had time for a quick phone call in the morning to go over it instead of sending emails back and forth. I can tell he is impatient - that's why I wanted to talk instead of email...
I wonder if HE is the other contact I picked up with a new offer. Either way...I'd say you made great progress advocating for yourself! But you were expected to do well. My Angel message for today was the acceptance card.....a long walk way lined with blooms on both sides. A symbol for patience that despite the uncertainty of my journey at the moment I am right were I belong and the white blooms represent complete guidance on my path. I NEEDED THAT! Last weeks B all Z last say has left me waiting for the fallout or perhaps that is too negative of a word as I know it was the right thing. You know, the big boss sees you as a very strong negotiator. You jumped an energy rung in the great Spiral!
It's funny - when I read your last post I was going to tell you a story and then forgot. It was about the very same thing...the energy lately pushing us to stand in our truth BUT in a non-egressive/combative mode. I was taking my pup for our Saturday morning routine of running through the park and taking a walk through the sports complex. After I let him run off his initial energy in the park we go for a walk through 3 adjacent baseball fields to a football field. We do a few laps around the football field and then make our way back. When proceeding down the walkway through the baseball diamonds, I was stopped by a girl at a table. There were going to be girls' baseball games going on and she wouldn't let me through without paying. I told her I was just taking my dog for a walk but she insisted. It was ridiculous. First of all, the games had not begun all the teams were just unloading and putting on their gear. At first I felt the impulse to argue with her about why it was stupid and that it was a PUBLIC park and I was the public. Instead I just shrugged my shoulders a little, smiled, and said I guess you'll have to call the police and walked through. I was getting the patience message as well. I think it's not only about waiting for others' replies, but feeling at peace with the action you took - so much so that others' responses simply don't matter.
Women have been raised to be NICE and ACCOMMODATING. Don't talk back, stand up for yourself, make a scene, be argumentative, etc. Women are to SERVE OTHERS and not think of their own needs. The movement that has been going on - we are part of it in our own way the past few weeks. CHANGE is afoot!
My contact on the inside told me that when I sent my reply to the contract last week the big boss said "NOW what does she want?!?!" She replied, "well, she's right." And then a few others on the executive committee chimed in as well with "she's not an idiot" and "she knows what she's doing" Haha. I really did write an eloquent argument if I do say so myself
Draw the line in the sand and then smile. You have done your work.
EXACTLY, none of the higher ups would sign such a thing. You are right about the supportive climate in the universe right now that energizes anyone willing to confront these kinds of issues....particularly all forms of exploitation. We both are as my card said....on the right path at the right time despite the unknown that comes with firmly advocating for your self. I noticed the faint smile of moon out this evening. What a way to start a new moon. The full moon aught to be interesting! As for being too nice in a society that expects a serene meekness from woman....that really got old as I aged. It's as if any manly energy at all in a woman is anti feminine when to be safe and empowered we need that balance of both. i think women get set free when all those hormones that scream...mate and breed start waning. The grace of aging.......to be on a monthly even keel and not at the mercy of hormones the f with your emotions. Thank Got for the change and the power of the crone.CONFIDENCE!
I am readjusting to going into an office every day. I am better at managing my own energy now but there is so much "stuff" flying around both offices (I go back and forth) that it has been draining. I have not yet mastered protecting myself from it. Some people are fed up - angry, disgruntled, etc. - and want out but feel trapped; others are feeling down on themselves and buckling under the pressure of not performing to the standards laid out for them; and a few others I feel are upset with my presence as they feel something was taken from them in order to accommodate me. One property does feel better to me than the other, however it is the one with the much longer commute. The commuting days really leave me drained as I do not get any down time when I get home. I could move closer, but then I would lose my sister as my puppy sitter (she has a dog too so I drop him off there 3 days a week so he's not completely alone all day). Hoping that after another week or so I will feel more settled and/or a clear direction will present itself to me.
They have stated that they have found the VP replacement and hopefully she will start soon, however we are now down the Director spot at BOTH properties. My friend had resigned from one before my arrival and the other was let go the week I started. Part of me wonders if this is supposed to be an opportunity for me but the other part (the part so drained) thinks I should stay away from it.
I need to ask you about something - some experiences I have had with others' passed over loved ones - but need to come back later when I have a clear head.
Hope you are doing well!
Here we go again with the cliff bumps!
jumping off the cliff....Fool style!
the old 3rd time's a charm....
Glad to hear from you! I knew you had no energy to spare. My first thought is thank God you didn't sign that first agreement. I bet for many who did it weighs on their backs and makes all discomforts seem worse. I think you pick up that trapped feeling of others....and I believe I did foresee that energy way back of past employees feeling lied to and unrealistic expectations.At least you know you have a choice to decide how much and when you have had enough. As far as the energy protection goes.....realistically, no psychic is so talented that they can be impervious to constant exposure. It ends up a balancing act. Which is where you are at. You definitely need personal space time to recoup and nurture yourself. I got the feeling you were busy trying to navigate your new world. I get that May will be a game changer . The job situation will change drastically. So, this period leading up to that is important for you to focus on reality.....what you need versus what you can endure. What works and what is a dead end. Also , out of the blue a co-worker, I assume is a higher up is going to mess with you....in a very seemingly friendly way...as if they really want to help you adjust. Trust your gut on this one because at first you may question your loner personality is the resistance but really this person who feels female in energy has a self serving agenda in her effort to chummy up to you. Spirit is saying it's her unofficial job. Pay attention to others around her because I get that she's burned a few and now they find her presence demeaning because they trusted her. She acts very not judgmental so others open up but really she's taking serious vulnerability notes. She has power . Knowing you you are already sniffing this one out. So...take this as a validation. I know I sure appreciate those! I also get a health decision you are on the fence about....you know there is an issue but turning it around on top of all you have on your plate right now just seems too much. I'm getting your food choices. They don't seem horribly bad but for you you are more sensitive than most . You often crave a certain food ...maybe something as simple as soup out of he can. Then you feel icky afterwards. With you....the reality is confusing that you could love and crave something only to feel icky later. It doesn't make sense. You are sensitive to additives. Face this head on right now. Forget the why of loving a food or craving it but just be firm with a no...at the grocery store and tell yourself....no that feels yummy as I'm eating it but an hour later I feel icky. This is not a time for figuring out why but just acknowledging and doing something about it. Also, considering your energy demands I know this sounds wrong but your body mind and Spirit needs some kind of heavy cardio. At least 20 minutes daily. Nothing obsessive but just enough to shake off the day and give you some endorphin boosts. Your hormones are going to be wacky for the next two years.....sorry.....but you will get past it fine with more self nurture. As for the medium connection I'm sure I can help you there if this Spirit is coming forward. Let me know. The last few weeks have been a mixture of highs and lows! The job thing.....I want to push on that because I lack trust despite cards assuring me all is well and God is in charge and money will come. Actually, I do trust but it falters on the days I get impatient. Usual stuff we all deal with. Mostly, my marriage is not in a good place from my perspective so dealing with that because really it's never all about THEM...is it? HAHAHA! On a positive side I feel awesome physically! I've lost a lot of weight and forgot that joy of CLOTHES! My writing is better than ever and I'm back to working in the yard and building and gardening. I started posting artful flower photos .....something I neglected too long. So, on a personal level I'm feeling empowered . But the cost is the hard boundary lines I have had to draw in the relationship department. Anyway....good to hear from you! BLESSINGS!
Game changer in May? LOL. A game changer came today! These people crack me up. My job description changed from what we discussed during the job interview/offer process in the first week. And now, after 2 weeks, they want to change it again in a big way. The biggest problem with it is I am now faced with having to choose between the two properties and I am still unsure which is best for me. The one that is better for my lifestyle is closer to where I live, but as I said before I just don’t like the energy of the office. The one that FEELS better thus far is a long commute. It is also, I believe, better for my career path. I could move to that end of town, but then I would lose my sister as part-time dog sitter and the daycare that I use when needed. They dropped this bomb on me this afternoon and want an answer tomorrow. I’m left wondering what big change will follow in May!!!
I’ll comment on the rest later (as well as give the spirit communication details) as I need to try to clear my head and come to a conclusion on what I need to do.
After posting you I got good news on the financial end! A little windfall. I know this is an immediate fix but I feel I still need to have more control.....for the future. Of course it's always been like this so perhaps it's just my life as always and I'm chasing a security that does not exist. I'm sure you already decided on your job request but here's my input. Do not make any drastic moves or changes for this job. NONE. I know you are trying to balance your head with your hopes but honestly you can not trust any situation this firm offers. Spirit shows me chickens running around with no heads. Gross but funny. I know they wanted an answer immediately but as you already know that answer now ploy is manipulative on their part because really it is wise on your part to say......can I spend a few days there meeting and observing before I make a decision. It has to have something worth it to you to give up things you really do not want to give up. What I see is leadership issues. A lot of damage has already been done and the powers that be are clueless to where things went wrong and how to fix it. The disgruntled environment is not going to change anytime soon. There is no trust or a sense of teamwork. Employees are not recognized for their efforts and in fact feel no good deed goes unpunished there. I'm sure you have had a past job where management played favorites and no matter what you did you got ignored or blamed.This is the firms fault for squeezing too much from management employees.....they stroke their egos just enough to start demanding a little more from them......to the point that the people in charge are just too busy to be doing their real jobs of managing the team......they start taking on a trusted team member to keep watch but that team member is no manager and uses that power to really destroy the team spirit. I'd say no matter where this firm sends you the same flaws follow...bottom line is they are too greedy with employees and just plain overwork them. I see May as a possible complete job change. You may find a way to beat their system and by that leap might get offers within their company that have more of a fresh start opportunity and where you can make a difference....but I get you may just leave there all together and a job offer comes to you with a total change in direction in your usual profession. It feels very positive but will seem a bit scary and adventurous. Dealing with chickens without heads for two months might just be the catalyst you need to want that new offer. Spirit says it will stretch your confidence to bank on your ability to believe you can do it.
You do tend to get those just in time money windfalls, don’t you? I don’t have the same trust you do that the Universe will provide (at least not any more), but I think it’s mostly because I am on my own. It may seem pessimistic, but after feeling as though the Universe was constantly letting me down in that regard, I came to the conclusion that it was because I went through a period of trusting TOO MUCH. I needed action to go along with that trust. The “God helps those who help themselves” bit. Any news on the manuscript you submitted?
I did take some time to make my decision. He called me in Monday afternoon and wanted my answer right then and there and I said I was going to need some time to think. He then asked that I get back to him the next day. I didn’t agree or disagree. Funny thing is Tuesday (the next day) I got to work early but was feeling awful and said to heck with it, I’m going home and left at 8:30am before he even arrived. So that gave me some extra time to think. I told him Wednesday that I was still trying to repair the damage to my career path that occurred the last time I worked for them and the only reason I agreed to come back was because it was to represent both properties. The explanation was that in the past I had aspirations of becoming a Director, but it just wasn’t happening so I revised my goal to finding a regional position. The dual property responsibility helped set me up for that. Going back to one property was a step backward so if they wanted to do that they would need to put me in a leadership role so it would be a step forward instead of backward. I also told him which property it would need to be (the one that is a further commute, but it just felt like the right move for some reason) He seemed pleased, but he has a nervous smile instead of a nervous laugh so I really couldn’t tell!
I felt really good afterward - was happy that I handled it unemotionally and communicated clearly and confidently. Because it felt good I thought I was going to get what I wanted either way. WRONG!!
True to their usual form, they never spoke with me again individually - just had a group meeting to roll out the new territories. They kept me as selling both properties, but my territory is COMPLETELY different than what it was supposed to be. I’m ticked off but nothing I can do about it. The ironic thing is they changed the incentive plan so that people won’t feel so downtrodden and as if they have an impossible goal so everyone else was happy. Everyone else was also happy with their territories. They literally made EVERYONE happy except me, LOL.
I’m left wondering what this whole process has been about. I was led to accepting this job and not any other avenue that came my way - I felt certain of that. And yet, it has been nothing but more of the same as the last time I was here. Was it just about me standing up for myself through the job offer/contract process and this attempt to change my job description willy-nilly? Haven't I been through enough the past 14 years? I wonder…
It’s possible that they are still mulling over the leadership position I proposed as they do still have those spots open. It's odd that they have not addressed it. I really just threw it out there to let them know I was serious about not changing my title backwards. I also thought it would put that issue to bed for me once and for all. If I can’t get that promotion now when they are so desperate then I never will. If I did get it then I would know once and for all if it’s something I truly want. If I didn’t like it I could always go back to what I’m doing now. But I guess the issue is moot now.
Any other detail you can share with regard to what may happen in May? It’s suddenly more important in light of what has happened this week!
Oh - and I don’t have any clue who the trickster female is you referred to so that is yet another thing I have to look forward to haha.
You are going to have to force yourself to see the personal progress versus the disappointments. You had unfinished business and you DID do things differently. The stakes are higher now and no you are not in control of anything it seems. This is part of your tolerance boundary reset. The nature of being in a corporate setting means there are some consistent politics you will always face. It's the nature of a large corporate organization to be less personally tuned in to the happiness of the employee versus the good of the whole. Anything you fight for will have to appeal to the good of the company. Reading your post I got that...big circle feeling!.....it's your low for the moment. Step way back and take a break to see clarity...you already got that so follow it. I can only relate to your low disappointment to my own similar experience I shared awhile back and getting an outside universal reading that made it understandable.I felt let down and jipped....as if my prayers got disstd....my hard work got no reward and a sense of failure took over. I didn't get why I as filled with energized guidance yet didn't get what I wanted. As if I had not considered what I need and the next chapter down the road. I want to KNOW it all! It never gets too easy. You have changed but don't really have a mirror of close others to nurture and call attention to that. And you do get by financially...all the years we have communicated I have felt your fears and yet you always get by. I am more ALONE than you know! The money that got us by the last 5 years was MINE and mostly I did expect my mate to work or I'd have saved more.I have harder boundarys now. Being totally incapable of going back to work for almost 4 years now because of a brain injury...definitely was a wack on the head I did not deserve? But I needed because I definitely had to face the reality of having a game plan for taking care of myself versus being the caretaker. So here I am still making changes and yes it would be nice if I just found that perfect job. But honestly, I must learn how to ask and know what I need.Also, even bigger MY issue is wanting final security when my true purpose is being an artist. That's were I am at. You are very much on a better path but that's all it is...A PATH. You are going where you want to go but getting there is made from decisions that serve you. Any real gains you want will need to be presented to the company as a plus for them...otherwise they will tune you out. I see you moving on closer to what you want by way of small but perfect decisions....not just one choice and shazzam your there. So catch your breath and keep on doing what your doing. In May you will be again frustrated...at and Angry low just enough to leap into an offer that is a bit out of your comfort zone....it will call for self confidence in a big way and it will take you closer to the folks you prefer to work with....others self confident enough to be caring and not need to back stab or manipulate to secure themselves. The trade off for these confident positive hard workers with work ethic and personal goals is you will be on your own more and must be secure to say yes I can do this. It's going to be a good turn for you! Also, I will post a message I got today that addresses the finance thing. I have been pulling cards that warn me I'm shifting away from my ART...or purpose....and dwelling on finances.
Health, wealth and love...the "Big 3".
These juicy elements of our existence are largely what define us. The essence of life we vibrate, the abundance we are able to manifest, the love we are capable of giving - and receiving. When we're flowing in alignment with our destiny around these Big 3, life feels complete. There is no itch to scratch, because there is nothing that needs to change. When any one of these areas is off, we're keen to find the fix, find the cure.
We may find ourselves searching.
Because we want answers, we're asking for change. When we aren't healthy, we ask how we can become healthy. When we're struggling financially, we want to understand how we can become financially successful. When we're lonely or in a relationship that doesn't nurture, we ask for companionship and unconditional love.
Truth...the "big 3" are our most magnificent guideposts for alignment with life purpose and when off, simply suggesting a course correction or adjustment of strategy or mindset.
A few months ago I had a run in with our bank account. I handle the bills in our household and I messed up and missed a debit. We had the money elsewhere, but I hadn't set things up correctly. This sent me into a tizzy and all those scripts kicked in... "You just can't get your act together, can you?", "Will you ever fix this dance with money?" "What the ____ is wrong with you?"
My energy was spinning so I asked the angels to help bring me back to center. I pulled a card...Meditate. So I did.
Before I sit in meditation, I typically pull a card or read an excerpt from a book. On this particular day, I was guided to the book "Embrace Your Magnificence" by Fabienne Fredrickson. The section I was led to was "The Universe is Strategic".
The 3 paragraphs that hit me with a 2x4 was...
"By saying yes to your life purpose, you become a warrior for the universe. You transform yourself into a vessel through which good things are done for the greater whole. When you do, you will feel an all-encompassing meaning and fulfillment for your life. You will recognize the magnificence that comes by virtue of being an empty vessel for Source to do its work through you.
"From this place of service, you get rewarded in ways you could never imagine. When you follow your purpose, all the meaning, fulfillment, money, recognition, security, abundance, appreciation, and everything you were seeking before naturally come to you.
"The more you serve your purpose, the more the universe rewards you. The more you align with your purpose in service of others and the greater whole, the more opportunities you receive. You are literally being rewarded for a job well done."
~Fabienne Fredrickson, Embrace Your Magnificence
I understood much of this before I read it, but the concepts hadn't fully reached my heart. What I realized in my meditation that followed was that money is a guidepost for life purpose. When there's a blip (big or little) with money, something's off and the angels are sending a message. With my overdraft, the angels were sharing that my commitment to my purpose isn't complete. I wasn't all in.
Of course that had to change, and change it has. What the angels helped me understand is that when we say YES! to our purpose - to doing what we LOVE and with commitment body and soul, everything we need appears. The health, the wealth and the love. As it's meant to be and aligned with the soul.
Enjoy this beautiful, glorious day with the angels!
Until next time...
I totally get corporate politics and things not being in my control. I just found it odd how it so quickly blew up from getting what I asked for to having it totally taken back. It literally only took a few weeks! So I did feel jipped. However, I also knew that I needed to shift out of that energy - and quickly. It all happened on a Friday afternoon and by Monday morning I was back to work with a better attitude. Somehow though, yesterday, it all sank in again - how much this is scr@wing me financially - and I am struggling with getting back to having a positive outlook. But again, I know that this energy does not serve me and will only create more disappointment.
One day at a time is the best I can do. I can hope that there is a master plan and somehow in the end things will work out for me, but my inner voice says, "yeah, right...grow up!"
CLIMBING TO THE EDGE OF THE MOUNTAIN...