Arian Female's Nightmare-Cancers! Help!
As an aries woman I can tell you I tried dating a cancer man I couldnt do it. It was just emotionally draining but then again leos, sags, scorpios all of them have been draining so what do I know?
you know whom you dont click with. thats a plus hon.
i don't know about cancer men (never dated one) because as a cancer female, that may prove to be disasterous.
but - as a cancer in general - i DO know that we cannot be pushed and we do feel foolish if we feel we have "disclosed" too much of ourself in a relationship. i will retreat to protect myself and to evaluate the situation before moving forward.
Hi Fellow Aries,
I was married to a cancer woman, it was great for the first year, than it went downhill from there and eventually ended in divorce. So my suggestion is: be very careful before you commit yourself.
WOW...yet ANOTHER male cancer relationship issue!! Are you dating the one Im seeing?? lol...Becuase my situation sounds EXACTLY the same! I have been dealing with mine for years!!!!
One question for all you Cancer Males AND Females: If you truly love deep and are very caring people....then WHY do you pull disappearing acts and not take in consideration other peoples feelings (especially the ones you are intimate with)?
For the rest of us....we can call you cancers and send text messages and not get a reply or call back for weeks sometimes even months....BUT if YOU call or text and we dont respond back right away.....You all become impatient and irritated....and just think....it was ONLY ONE CALL or ONE TEXT!
Wow sexygem, I wish I would have read this a couple days ago. Yesterday I could not stop tripping about him living with a girl. And all my friends kept telling me he has to be sleeping with her. So I just saw him briefly and told him of my issue and he said she kicked him out two days ago because he told her about me. after inquiring why she would kick him out for that and he said its because she is still in love with him. I said "really? you happened to leave that little fact out". but he swears he told me that. Now i just dont believe him at all even though he no longer lives with her. He also said he would have a place by october and he really wants to be with me. How many other girls does he hang out with him that are in love with him??
OK he had me drop him off at that girls house last night to pick something up. BULL! I am soooo hurt and heartbroken. I feel like he made a decision right there and he did not choose me.
My heart is really aching. I always felt like I was going to know him for a really long time. I should have known this was coming.
Do you think I should just not call him ever again or answer his phone calls? Or is it naive of me to think that he might ever call me again anyways. I think I may have pushed this one away because I lack some sensitivity. I am an Aries so that is hard for me. But I want to be sensitive with this guy. Just not when there is another girl in the picture. He does not understand why I don't want to have sex with him. I think he is a loser and is just going back to something easy. I am so sad though because I love him.
It's because of our dual, Crab-like nature and the forces that toss usabout in our emotional life that we seem so wishy-washy.
If it seems like we're going back and forth, it's because we are. One minute we're scuttling along the oean floor happy as a squid on Tuesday, and, whoosh, we're washed up on the shore. Or the reverse happens and a strong current plucks us off the sandy beach and before we know what happened, and we're back under the water.
There are forces at work that pull us to and fro, back and forth, and it's not something you learn how to deal with in a healthy, mature way, at least not until later in life, because your inner life shifts with the tide. It's hard to feel good about things and like you're making progress, and then have everything shift so suddenly to where you're not even sure what just happened, only that something did. Things feel.... different.
It's quite literally unsettling, and it's hard to open up about what's going on inside you and make yourself vulnerable when you have no idea yourself. Hence we scuttle off and try to figure things out for ourselves, thinking something's not right when really it's just the pull of the moon on the sea.
Cracks me up how EVERY sign is "hot and cold" when it comes to MEN. How about screw the d*amn sign, MEN ARE JUST HOT AND COLD in general and COMMITMENT PHOBIC ALWAYS. Frustrating, but true.
ArianGoddess STOP RIGHT THERE! My heart breaks for you. Should you call him? NO Are you naive to think he might ever call you again I don't think so because chances are he may. I know this is extremely hard for you as he has somehow managed CANCER OR NOT to get you emotionally attached to him due to his charm and sensitive nature. I hate to say it but as an Arian who's been there done that and will never do it and trust a cancer man again HE IS A LOSER and they come a dime a dozen...HE IS NO PRIZE! Trust me I know how easy it is to perhaps fall for a cancer because of the way he seems to be at first and portrays himself but I learned a hard lesson. Just because he seems sensitive and or/is sensitive to HIS feelings doesn't mean he will be sensitive to your feelings and HE HAS ALREADY SHOWN THAT!
Cancer men can be very selfish, insensitive and manipulative. They will feed you lie after lie to get what they want which is your trust so they can get in your pants and stay in your pants. DO NOT I REPEAT... " DO NOT " HAVE SEX AND BECOME A GULLIBLE PIECE OF MEAT and ANOTHER PIECE OF CAKE TO THE LYING BASTARD. He has done nothing but made up stories and fed you lie after lie after lie in hopes of hiding the truth from you.
He obviously has commitment phobia hence he can't be faithful to his girlfriend he was and/or still is living with and sleeping with. He was scared alright, scared that if he were honest he wouldn't have a shot in hell of ever getting in your pants which "regardless of what he says" is his motive. He "conveniently" forgot to tell you he had a son because he didn't want you to know thinking in his head that fact alone may screw up any chance of him getting what he wants...sex.
Remember: If he will cheat with you he will cheat on you one day.
I know it's difficult but you have to try and forget who he first appeared to be, who you wanted and still wish him to be. It's a hard lesson to learn to let go of the dreams and fantasies we have when we convince ourselves "prematurely" that he could be the one.
I wish I had someone to warn me and save me years of heartache consider me your angel.
Don't have anymore contact with him he doesn't have your best interest at heart.
Don't be naive, gullible and continue a moment longer to be one of many of his victims.
All men are so complex, cancer men in particular, mine is secretive,impatient and the list goes on, but reacts with hurt if I make any emotional change. My advice for women with cancer men is to relax and let things flow. Enjoy your life as much as possible, because if the relationship fails you don't want to be a empty shell to someone else. Always have something to offer to yourself and others. Be active and if they can't lump it shame on them. I am a active senior and he's a senior, I travel and teach a craft. I have other civic interest and activities. So I am not home mopping about someone I don't understand. I have learned most men don't want to settle down, they don't want to give up their freedom, and it seems like so much work to get them to do what they was intended to do. Now, I said work, ha should I work, I think women should relax their yearnings and let the guy do the pursuing, that's the way it's suppose to be. Being the women, that we are of course we want to do everything sweet to let the guy know, "see what you are getting if you become the father of my children or child." Hey, this will happen one way or the other if not with that guy it will with someone. We (women) have to relax and enjoy our life, remember we are also the ones that spoiled our cute little boys, and society continues with better paying jobs, better clothes- have you traveled in the men's department and seen their colors, fabrics, and designs and the way their clothes are so crisp, see we need to see the whole picture and their are some women could care less whose man they kiss or sleep with, So I am suggesting don't miss out on life so when it's over or you walk down the aisle, you didn't miss anything. I found out that by relaxing and not pursuing, (touching) I am getting more attention. Let men see that you have other interest, let them know of what you intend to do as you don't want to invoke jealous anger, but have an interest other than them, something that can be done at home and share with him once you are together, this should relax him too, as he probaly think you are baiting him in. So enjoy life, my philosophy is if it is to happen it will, then are you ready- money saved, careers intact, and are you mature enough to handle life's issues together. So much, build first, have something to offer and know it, women need to know this, if he doesn't want me, someone else will. Enjoy life and relax.