Should I go back to my ex-husband?
I am raelly happy to join this forun for the first time. Please help, I am cinfused, confused, confused.
10 years ago I ( 06/29/1964) left my husband ( 06/26/1958) for a new storming love (01/25/1956). I am still together with that relationship, still, recently, I have been feeling that after ten years the circle has finished, and I should be back to my previous life. I should mention that since there are two children I've been meeting my ex-husband almost every day all these years. Although he is in a relationship, he shows that he wants to have sex with me every now and then.
Your insights will be really invaluable!
Thanks in advance
The message I get here is NO. You need to leave the old behind completely. This current relationship of yours, at least from what I'm getting, has also run out of steam and you're casting around for a replacement.
Please use this time as a way of evaluating your own life, and yes, that of your children. Your ex husband is going through similar too by the way. Ten years is usually a life cycle period anyway, and it's at the end of it that all of us start doubting things we did years ago, things we're doing now, etc.
Don't make rash decisions yet, please! I can't stress this enough. You will find yourself part of a vicious cycle of not being able to let go and will end up drained and unhappy in the long run, yet again.
I get that the relationship you went to after your ex was a rebound, and even though it served a beautiful purpose for you then, as said above, it has run out of steam. I feel you have commitment issues yourself, so really, you need to - for the sake of reptition - think about what you're really after in this life. Don't let fear of being alone cause you to make a mistake.
I also get that your current partner is younger than yourself and would be a fine father (or has been to your two younguns). He senses your distance and has asked you about it. He has lived with your husband's "ghost" for years, but is now seeing that he deserves better. So, do you really want to end things with this fellow? This is what you need to decide. Even taking a break from him, temporarily, might be the answer for you now.
So in a nutshell, my message is this:
Make no final decisions yet.
Don't go backwards, go forwards
Evaluate your life and yourself - find who you are again
Remember too, having a history with someone always leaves residue which is why you and your ex may want to rekindle things now - neither of you are particularly happy, and see each other as a life raft at the moment.
I sure hope this hasn't been too direct, or hurt your feelings in any way, but the intention here is to help prevent you making a big mistake.
Thank you for kindly spending time to reply. I appreciate it.