Lost and In Need of some Guidance
A few months ago I met this man, To make a long story short he flipped my whole world upside down. I think I immediately fell for this person without knowing him for too long. I had these strong feelings I had no control over. He spoke of relationships, but I sort of dodged that question. I had recently gotten out of on and I didn't want to make the same mistakes again.
Him and I have an extremely strong connection... It scared me. I thought I was basically dellusional. I have a feeling that he felt it too and it may have scared him as well... with that being said, I tried to play it cool for a while since I've never experienced this before. I tried to avoid it. He also seemed cold and more distant than usual.
Two weeks passed and we did not talk to each other. After no longer being able to stand it anymore, I gave in and contacted him... Which is so unlike myself because I never give in.
We started talking again. He says that he thought I didn't care about him since I didn't contact him. We have been talking on a pretty consistent basis now. I saw him about a week ago. After this, he is now being distant once again. I expect him to always make the first move to contact me. I'm just used to that and I like it that way.. A few days ago, I put in some effort. We talked for a while, and I felt fine.
I just cannot seem to relax and I feel like I need some answers. I want to tell this guy exactly how I feel, but I don't know if its the right thing to do. Any advice would be appreciated.
I feel like I am going crazy! If it helps my bday is 11/30/83 and his is 6/27/83.
Well since u withdrew he withdrew. why waste time on a dead end?Men are like that. I think now he may not fully trust ur advances and reasurrances. So bide ur time, keep in touch with him. U made urself take a huge step doing what u have never done. It shows a few things.
1. That u are independat
2. That u are strong
3. that u want him
4. that u respect him
5. that u accept him as he is
6. that you have hope
7. that u dare place urself out there
The move to call him was in fact the largest step u ever had to take. Its why u feel as u do. Natural. I suggest u keep this going, because trust me, the more u do it the easier it gets. I feel u will soon meet again for coffee ice dinner etc.
Oh ah and u may wanna tell him why u acted as u do. Not many men are mind readers. It might trigger him to tell u what went on with him while u didnt speak.
But overall when women withdraw from men as u have men read they aint into them so why invest more time on this. Im not saying u messed up, because u feared a repeat performance from past to rear its ugly head. this u need to tell him. he may have thought there was something utterly wrong with him.
Know this sweetie, in love are genders feeling the exact same things. FEAR OF BEING REJECTED.
Thank you for the postive insight... You are absolutely right!
Hello Cstar 777:
You know Sagittarians are, aggressive souls, we go right out after what we want, even if we don't know that person very well, our inner beings gets the best of us. Since the man you are head over heals in love with is a Gemini, this could very well be the goal you need to set for yourself. You need to find out more about him personally, do you have any idea how this mans upbringing is? Does he have children? Has he been in abusive relationships with other women? May be he is not used to the aggressive/passive attitude?
I mean only you know how to go about asking those important questions (?), then once you get all those most important answers follow what is best for you? Do you know if he is a secret drinker or drug user? Is he married and hiding it?
When you post a note on these open websites you are only let "us" in on a certain level, so ofcourse I am as nosey as the next person, but I need more answers from you that you are not revealing to all at this time.
try these websites, www.starchildglobal.com and www.aura.com just for fun Sagittarians are adventurous after all, possibly this Gemini is not really for you after all, I persay do not like to babysit a grown man. But hey that is just me...
Hi, I think you withdrew (avoided) the relationship part without telling him why you felt that way. I agree that men should be the initiators and there is nothing wrong with taking your time. I can understand why you felt stifled at first when he was talking about a relationship. I knew someone that wanted to get married a month into the relationship. It's like there is no middle ground. It's a wierd feeling. Love can happen at the most unopportune times, sometimes. I don't know what the best advice is for you regarding him. As for you, if you feel you need to state your case, so to speak, I don't know if it'll help but MAY make you feel better. Long and short, I don't think you did anything wrong except maybe not explaining yourself in the first place.
You need to read 'Men are from Mars, women are from venus". use the words will u and would you with him and see the difference. he is shy. you need to tell him how you feel.