CAPTAIN...NEED YOUR HELP URGENTLY PLEASE!
Several months ago I sought your helpful insight on clarifying a matter of my mentor's passing as well as information flooding my mind. You were very helpful to me during a period of confusion. I seek your support in getting some further insight on a matter of the heart. Things have progressed to a point of communication with me and a virgo friend, who is supposedly going through a divorce. I have deliberately kept things at a distance and we have just been handling work matters and recently a health concern of his.
This more frequent communication started two weeks ago...only for me to get a phone call from the estranged wife this weekend...asking about our relationship. I would like to understand what role he played if any in that phone call and exactly what my approach should be in relating to him going forward. I dont want to do my usual "virgo cut-off" all communication...as I abhor drama especially where I have sought to ensure my motives are clear - despite the fact that there is an attraction between us.
Can you advise what you are sensing on this situation and what I shoud do? My bday is 30.08.70 and his is 15.09.70.
Thanks much. I hope you will find it possible to give me a response.
There is a teacher-student type attraction here - it is an unusual yet highly symbiotic relationship. One of you will probably find themselves directing the physical energies of the other in the role of mentor, parent, boss, teacher or manager while the other person plays the child, employee, student or performer. Your friend is powerfully perceptive and analytic - you should find it easy to accept his advice and guidance. Strongest in the classroom or on the hard road of life, this relationship is a solid bond based on trust and mutual understanding. Yet it is not an easy pairing emotionally, physically or spiritually. Bith of you can be extremely rough and uncompromising with each other. In reprimanding a missed signal or other error, you both are unlikely to hold back, teaching a lesson that the other partner will remember for a long time. As lovers, friends or spouses in this combination you two are usually less successful in the emotional and sensual realms than when you team up on social, financial or educational projects. You two are very similar and like does attract like. But ask yourself if is it 'yourself' you are wanting for a lover or would it be better to find someone who can challenge you on more emotional and physical fronts?
You are both closed and secretive types, even with each other, and sharing your feelings, ideas or concerns might not be easy. Both of you are adept at hiding your true selves and both can nurse pain and resentment from old wounds and have elaborate defense mechanisms in place to protect you from any further pain being inflicted. Neither of you trusts or hopes easily. So who is going to be the first to drop their prickly defenses? Maybe neither. If this relationship starts to get too serious and loses its 'fun', then it's time to consider dropping it. That won't be easy for you either as you both can exhibit possessive attitudes or jealousy towards those you are involved with, prompting sometimes painful lessons in nonattachment. Your friend may still be feeling quite possessive of his wife which probably makes her think he is still interested in her. You both actually need to gravitate towards people who are more open and sharing and direct in their approach, as two 'wrongs' don't usually make a 'right'. You also both need to get in better touch with what you really want and feel in this situation. Your friend loves to analyse others' motivations and feelings but hates to turn that analysis on himself. Being honest with yourselves and each other will be difficult but it's the only thing that will really help and clarify the relationship.
Thanks much Captain...much here resonates...
Should I 'confront" (not aggressively) him about the telephone call from the wife and his role in all the information she had about our relationship...work and nothing more of course...she even mentioned that I have feelings for him but he doesnt reciprocate. Where is all this coming from since he and I have NEVER had any such exchange?
Get it from him, not her. He will squirm at discussing his personal life (and so will you) but it must be done. If he can't share with you, then the relationship has no hope of success.
Thanks much Captain...as I thought. He will squirm, so will I. I have no interest or need to speak to her...And wished her all the best when she telephoned me. It was so far left field...but I figure all this is to bring him and I to a place where we can share and open up...otherwise we would both remain closed...you are correct.
He telephoned yesterday and shortly after turned up at my house...and proceeded to talk...almost like he needed to spill his guts about what is happening and how it came that she called me...I was surprised at how much he seemed to need to talk and opened up quite a bit...I have a feeling that this is the start of much more 'freedom' from his side...somehow he feels comfortable opening up to me...which is rare for both of us I know. I of course told him outright, I know this is as unusual for you as it is for me...
Will continue to be cautious of my intentions and actions...
I am pleased for you.
Thanks for your support....
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