Are you able to do reading for me on moving ahead in life, particularly as it relates to finding my own way, separate from family? Any important milestones/events this year?
I think a large part of my journey thus far has been about finding/reclaiming my authentic self. This is particularly hard when it comes to family. There is so much dysfunction,tension and anguish, and although I have become detached/estranged in recent years, being in close proximity brings out an uglier, combative side of me. Were it any other relationship and were it not for my cat, and lack of finances, I would have left long ago.
I just don't relate to the dynamics anymore and I don't think a reconciliation or at least having a cordial relationship (if it's ever possible in the distant future) will come unless a total demolition takes place first. Like the Tower. Get the feeling once I close this door + am able to move out, I will be better placed to attract a meaningful relationship and career switch options. Does it seem likely I have to move out earlier than I am ready to (before I'm financially stable enough to do it)? Or will life lead me to financial stability (earlier than I imagine), so that i can move out?
Thanks in advance!
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I'll try to do this for you this weekend. I promised a few others first. Hang in there!
No hurry - take your time
Thought it's a good time to post to push the spam threads 'backwards'.
Looking very scary on the forums.
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Danceur, I have one more and then you. Determined to do both today as I know I won't have time during the work week and don't want you to have to wait until next weekend...
It is ok - take your time.
Been preoccupied this week as I aggravated my back injury and not feeling good at all.
Frustrated with that...
And was given the run around by someone I was trying to rent an apartment from (we're moving temporarily due to renovations). I think she was trying to pull a fast one. But I'm praying the alternative arrangement works out better.
Hope your week is better
Sorry once again for the delay. So first I started with just pulling one Sabian Symbol card and got:
Aquarius 23 - A Big Bear Sitting Down and Waving All Its Paws
From the book: This speaks of the need to develop responses and perform above and beyond the normal expected level. Having to do what others tell you, or perform along the lines of how you’ve been trained may be fine for a while, but eventually you are likely to tire of doing the same things or not being taken seriously. Perhaps there are things you don’t want to do, but it seems your duty to perform. Look to your situation and see if you are compromising yourself or just acting out of conditioned responses. Perhaps you are indeed excelling your normal level of performance, only you can tell. Developing skills. Entertaining people. Performing for the crowd. Playing instruments, dancing, arm waving. Animal training. Fun vs drudgery. Learning by example. Training.
The Caution: Being unable to recover your feet. Instinctive and creative performing for the crowd. Desire to be the center of attention. Defying authority. Being vulnerable.
From Me: What stood out for me out of the above, was feeling like you need to perform for the crowd (your family and employers), fun vs drudgery, being tired of doing the same old thing, compromising yourself and the NEED to defy authority. The thing is you KNOW that your home situation is toxic yet you have remained. Give yourself permission to let go of the excuses of WHY you have done so - all the rationalizations about money and your cat and obligations - and just accept that it’s time to let it all go. You have put yourself in a situation where you are in a toxic environment both at home and at work. Have you noticed this? It’s not a mistake or coincidence. This is one of your major life lessons - getting yourself out of this mind set. You have a habit of thinking too much instead of taking action and deep down, you must think you are worthy of these situations or you wouldn’t be in them. So your growth involves both believing in your worth, that you deserve a more positive, loving, nurturing experience and in taking the actions that coincide with that belief. Normally I would say that the thoughts must come first, but in your case I think action must come first as it will help break up your negative conditioning. Ask yourself in each situation where you feel confused or unable to make a decision or choice on what to do next, “What would a confident, secure woman who knows her own power do?” And then just start doing it without allowing all the analysis paralysis and defeatism take over you. If you make a mistake, you make a mistake. So what! MOVE OUT ON YOUR OWN. Get out of the toxic environment at home first so at least you will have your own safe place at the end of the day. What’s the worst that could happen? It doesn’t work out and then you move back home? You’re already in that situation but at least this way you tried. Just get out!!! Work hard at your job so you can support yourself, live within your means - even a one room hovel will be better than where you are now because it will be YOURS, your own safe place, your haven. While accepting your present situation at work you can also start building the vision of something better for yourself. Believe and it will come to you, but remember to keep searching for a better job while you are presently employed instead of waiting until you are out of work. It’s extra effort, but it needs to be done. Set the intention. Network with co-workers, friends, strangers you meet on the street, etc. Allow the Universe to help you by being open to it, being open to receive.
Okay enough of that rant I also pulled some cards out of three of my oracle card decks. The first set was from my Intuitive Mandala Cards. The first three are what I pulled, the last two are a card that flipped out while shuffling and the card at the bottom of the deck:
UNPLUG & DETACH - Honor your natural sensitivity by walking away from harsh energy.
CALL YOUR ANGELS - Your angels love you unconditionally, so call upon them for the help you need.
SEE THE TRUTH - The truth you seek is already within you. Listen, observe and trust.
PERSONAL POWER - Do not give up. Use your natural strength to help yourself and others.
SELFNESS - You can only help others when you take the time to nurture and care for yourself
This is just an affirmation that you need to care for yourself by getting out of the toxic environment; to remember to ask for Angelic, Divine or whatever you want to call it assistance and to trust that it will come; and to trust in yourself instead of constantly questioning and allowing fear to run your life.
Next set of cards were from my Indigo Angel deck:
Feels redundant but the messages are redundant for a reason. LOVE YOURSELF…walk away from the harsh energy you are living in. MANIFEST…get to work, take action, you can do it, believe in yourself, etc. TRUST…in yourself as well as in the Divine as you will be helped if you ask for it (free will demands this - they cannot interfere unless invited to do so).
The last set of cards are from the Archangel Oracle cards:
HEALTHY LIFESTYLE, AA Raphael
PROSPERITY, AA Ariel
TAKE BACK YOUR POWER, AA Raziel
The healthy lifestyle card talks about a healthy diet, exercise, getting enough sleep, etc. but in your case it is coming through as the healthy “environment” you are being guided to get yourself into.
The prosperity card came through as in don’t worry about the money, just take the appropriate action!!
The take back your power card says to “user your God-given power and intention to manifest blessings into your life.” This really is key for you, your personal power. You allow others to take it from you which can put you in a victim stance. Go back to the part about asking yourself what a strong, confident woman would do in this situation and then just start doing it.
“Never say never” but this is most likely my last reading on this site. So I am going to drive something home even though it’s redundant.
You are a thinker.
You have a tendency to think TOO much.
You allow these circular thoughts to take over and get stuck in analysis paralysis.
Get out of your head.
Do not allow fear to run your life.
It’s okay to make a mistake, it’s how we learn.
YOU DESERVE LOVE
Once you can make this leap ahead in your personal power and self-care, you will attract the right partner. Until then, you will keep attracting men that do not treat you as the worthy woman you are. YOU CAN DO THIS!
Take care Danceur.
One more thing I forgot...your back injury...our backs contain our spine, our backbone. See any correlation???
I certainly hope this is not your last reading on this site. Thank you so much for trying to keep it alive, with this blizzard of spam. If it makes sense to let go and move on, I totally get that.
I do see your reasoning with the spine/lack of backbone analogy. It is true - I'm breaking under a load that is not mine to shoulder alone. And I'm pushing back too late - when others will not listen anymore.. I started physical therapy 4 months ago, and was improving a little. And now the current situation is sabotaging that progress. Think I even regressed. My therapist is frustrated - and I feel disappointed in myself - because enrolling in therapy was an empowering step. And I don't like feeling dis-empowered by present circumstances.
Your reading affirms how i feel. I don't believe I deserve any of this - I've always been the defiant one in the family because it is in my nature to reject oppression - and I have suffered for being different. To be honest, no one in this family has had it easy or fair. Each has their load in different ways. I think I was only trying to help - and I am too tender-hearted/responsible when it comes to my cat - and then people just took it for granted.
I used to think that healing meant reconciliation. But it now feels like healing means getting as far away as possible. The dysfunction is too pervasive. I want my own life - where I am free to make my mistakes, and not beholden to their fate anymore.
At first, I thought I would need another 5 years maybe, to save up to have enough... but it is literally killing me to remain here. Being squeezed on 2 fronts - at work and at home, is putting me in depression. I'm also afraid of eventually being left behind to be my folks' caregiver.
All I can afford is to rent a room - but I've seen friends who rent, bounce from house to house, because their living conditions/flat mates are terrible. And they cannot be themselves. I need my own place. I do not know how to make that happen, but it is what I want.
Watergirl, I want to thank you for driving it home. I'm already there in terms of knowing what I have to do, for this part of the journey, even though not all the pieces are in place for me to take action and go, just yet.
Energetically, I know positive changes are underway - the events/thoughts/feelings are manifestations of that. it's just a particularly difficult phase - and I'm feeling so much pent up anger and frustration when we haven't even reached the hardest part... and I'm scared that I will break down long before reaching the door.
I just needed some counsel -thanks for being there, WG
I just learned that I won't be converted to a permanent employee, and that my contract will be renewed again, instead.
Not sad, but I do feel let down. Esp when they just decided to convert another contractor they weren't even going to renew at first. So much hard work this past year - for nothing. Maybe it's the ego - but I feel I've been taken advantage of, and put as the last priority. If my Boss is saying she can't cope without me, perhaps she should have fought harder to convert me instead. I know budget matters are not that straightforward..but still.
I know that i want to be elsewhere - it's just a matter of time. But it would be nice to at least get some proper benefits either way. Gratitude for just being employed is...getting old. I'm also considering reducing my hours (and salary) here, so that I can just have a bit more breathing room. Just too burnt out from work and home matters. Health is suffering.
Is it likely that I'll be converted before the year is up, and do you see it working better for me if I cut my hours (although there will be less income)? Or do you see me finding a permanent (and better) job straight off the bat, at another company - within the same timeframe - if i start looking out now?
Hope you see this, and thanks in advance. Happy Easter!
If all you can afford right now is a room - then rent a room and think of it as your own personal castle! Your comment about how renting a room has not worked out for others is a great example of how our thoughts can create our reality. Just because it didn't work out for them does NOT mean you will have the same experience!!! Instead, hold the thought and vision that you will find the perfect room in the perfect spot with a window that lets in the morning sun (or whatever!) with the perfect roommates or landlord. THIS IS JUST AS POSSIBLE AS THE ALTERNATE REALITY THAT YOUR FRIENDS EXPERIENCED.
Seriously, you first and foremost need to get out of your family home. Yes, healing can mean going your separate way in a peaceful manner. And that reconciliation can be an internal experience within yourself and with yourself. As long as you feel good about the move (and I know you will) then forget everything else. Put yourself first for a change.
And if the room you rent turns out not to be ideal, then so what. No matter what it will still be better than where you are now. Sometimes things get better in baby steps - gradually. Maybe the first place you get will be perfect, and maybe not. If not, the next place will be better than the last and so on and so forth. Just keep moving forward until you are where you want to be. If you don't move out and then it is a GUARANTEE that nothing will change. Give yourself hope for a better/brighter future.
I think there is a silver lining with the work situation. You know you don't like it there either so the Universe is supporting you by not making it permanent. Your work situation/environment is just another example of how you have allowed others to take advantage of you. Remember that we teach people how to treat us. Have you had a choice about the amount of hours they have expected and gotten from you? Even if it's not a choice, start saying no! They don't deserve more out of you if they made someone else permanent over you! If you can work less hours and still afford to rent a room, then do it!!! Start looking for something else now, but you MUST do it with an attitude of lightness and a positive outlook on what is possible for you. The heavy energy of feeling dragged down and abused by everyone around I know is hard to shake but do everything you can. Keep up with your physical therapy. Please try meditation. There are a few free demos that are good on Om Harmonics (website is omharmonics dot com).
There is a very distinct possibility that once you commit to yourself and your own well-being above others that everything will magically align and fall into place for you. Sometimes we need to be focused with our intention and actions to prove to the Universe that we want it before they step up to the plate and wave their magic wand
Try this one...there is a great intro at the beginning that explains it and the meditation is only 15 minutes long - easy to do!
Sorry for the late reply.
Recently got back from the temporary relocation where my sis, cat and I were staying at a rented apartment while the family house was being renovated. I was incredibly sleep deprived from being available 24/7 for my cat (who was initially very stressed living in a foreign envrionment). But I think all 3 of us started to love the change in energy and dynamics and the freedom away from the rest of the family.
So I know you are right when you say that it would be good for me to move out - on my own. I can only do so once I'm no longer needed in care-giving, but it's good to see what's available and I have already begun researching prices and locations.
I realized i won't be able to afford a room on a permanent basis, it if I work part time. But I am also burnt out from the care-giving schedule and can no longer keep it up without help. So I am going to ask my supervisor if she can allow me to work from home a few days a week moving forward and into the renewal - so I can slow down the pace, get a bit more rest and save on commuting time/costs. I know she won't prefer it - I'm taking a big risk because she could decide it's easier to just find hire someone else, and I'll be out of a job. But it is only thing I can currently do for myself to maintain the income and stay alive, pretty much. My body, spirit and mind are crumbling under the weight sleep deprivation and lack of help.
Are you able to tell if my supervisor can support me on this? I do not want to settle for part-time work/income as I do need to build up my savings. Am also applying for other jobs as well.
Have already tried, ad nauseum, to appeal to my sis to assume part of my responsibilities, so that I can get a bit more rest. My back injury is not healing as well - partly because of lack of rest and the emotional weight of caregiving. And I'm just turning into an angry person - without time and energy and mental space to contemplate the future. For me, rain or shine, back pain/ill health/exhaustion or not, I have to keep to a regular schedule of tasks. It's meant a lot of sacrifices and running at a pace that is too fast - and I have much less of a life than I used to. I know my sis intellectually understands my struggles but she is resisting/denying the need for her involvement. She does help with the caregiving but only in ways that least inconvenience her and she is just not prepared to step up on a regular basis - in a way that can take pressure off me. I pretty much told her this is killing me, and still...
I love my cat dearly and it affects him whenever I get negative... so I try to hold it in. I would love for him to stay as long as he wants to. I will be there the best that I can. I also try to take in whatever healing I can from caregiving (since it connects to the side of me that loves). But I do feel sad sometimes that I've been given this responsbility, when I'm actually the one who has the most to lose (no permanent job, no savings, no partner, no home of my own, back injury that limits my options in life and incurs rehab bills). I'm also the one most in danger of depression from pro-tracted grieving. Everyone else in my family has some sort of safety net (partner, home, finances, permanent jobs) - something that they can fall back on or move towards. Just barely keeping my chin above water on some days...
I did listen to some meditation-esque music in the mornings previously - while I did my physical therapy exercises - but I've fallen off the wagon somewhat because I'm just too much in a 'go-go-go' pattern from the time I wake up.. Whenever I catch myself in a positive mood, I just try to milk it for as long as I can. I don't want to wallow or complain anymore - I just want to be happy again..
I will try to do a reading for you this week, but I have to be honest, there is much going on with my family and work life this week so I cannot promise anything. For now, I will just give you my thoughts on reading your post and hope that some of them are intuitive guidance
I’m glad you got a taste for being out of the family home. I suggested focusing on your own place first as this (and your family situation) affects your first chakra, or base chakra. If this one is out of whack its pretty hard to keep any of the others balanced. And once you have a more peaceful home base - one that nurtures you and feels like a safe haven from everything else - you will begin to heal and your energy will restore and you will be in a better place to attract the kind of job you want. Once your base and sense of personal fulfillment are humming along, that relationship you want will come.
I also need to mention that not getting enough sleep can seriously wreak havoc on a person not just physically but emotionally. When our physical bodies do not feel right - through illness, stress, lack of sleep, pain, whatever - our emotional body follows. Our emotional body is the closest layer of our aura to our body. So not getting enough sleep for you could send you into an emotional tailspin which will seriously cloud your thinking, focus, decision making ability, etc. So it’s best right now to stop thinking/worrying about the “big” stuff and just focus on the little steps that will allow you to get your physical body and base chakra in balance. Do everything you can to get more sleep and if that really is just not possible, then you must do things to nurture yourself like meditation, your physical therapy, and possibly changes to your diet. Meditation does not have to be a 30 minute thing where you chant mantras sitting in the cross-legged position. Even if it’s just 5-10 minutes of taking a moment to yourself, breathing deeply with your eyes closed and just shutting off your mind or at least shutting out all the noise around you from others, that will help tremendously. I used to take bathroom breaks to do this - my own porcelain meditation room, lol. Also do what you can to take at least a few minutes each morning and/or evening to do your physical therapy exercises. If you’re not feeling able to get up a few minutes earlier , like you just can’t do it - I’ve been there - then start focusing on what you are putting into your body as well. I felt so bad once and someone told me to juice or at least just do smoothies (the kind without added sugar, frozen yogurt, etc.) for at least 3 days. It was a herculean task as when I’m tired I feel the need to eat for energy. But somehow I got through the first day, then the 2nd and by the 3rd I was feeling much much better. It gave me the little boost of energy I needed to get up that few minutes earlier in the morning. I was very skeptical so it was a pleasant surprise. I feel like you may teeter on the edge of being too thin, but don’t worry. You can put enough calories in a smoothie so you won’t starve. Google some recipes. You can also buy some protein power to add as a supplement or just keep some almonds or other nuts around as a quick dose of protein.
I love the idea of asking to work from home a few days. The key is to do this with confidence instead of feeling defeated before you even ask. When does your contract renew? if you are worried about her saying no and/or finding someone else and don’t think you can ask confidently, then ask after the renewal (if that is coming up shortly, that is). Otherwise, give yourself a pep talk in the mirror and go for it. All she can do is say no. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. If you feel like she may feel guilty about not making your position permanent, then use that guilt in your favor
I have a question about your cat if you don’t mind. if you aren’t receiving any help from family with the caregiving, then why would you have to wait to move out? Also, can you provide some detail on what type of care you are giving - a typical day, perhaps?
It’s interesting to me that you are left to care for your cat alone and have all these other burdens. I have a sense of you feeling completely alone and unsupported. This cat is symbolic to me of your inner self. You need to care and nurture yourself just like your cat. Your spirit is ailing just like your beloved little cat. I’ve said this recently - put yourself first. Forget what others’ needs are or what they might think of you putting yourself at the top of the list. If they think you are being selfish SO WHAT. You deserve to be for a while. Don’t know if I’ve ever used this metaphor with you but it’s like being on an airplane. If something happens to the cabin pressure and the oxygen masks drop, you are supposed to put your own mask on BEFORE helping your child or anyone else. You can’t help anyone unless you take care of yourself first.
Hope this helps a little. Be back soon.
It is ok - take care of yourself first. I think I just need to share. My persepective is skewed so it helps to hear from another person, and i do value your opinions and words.
I live in a family that is very fragmented. Everyone carries the weight of their troubles on their own. We've never been emotionally close - that's why when something happens that requires joint effort, it becomes difficult. We are too estranged that when we are suffering or in trouble, we handle it ourselves.
I've had to take the lead on taking care of my cat's needs because they are just not interested in doing also. I'm sure they care about him, but in a detached fashion (folks brought me and my siblings up this same way, with the same emotional disconnect). Also, it's not in their nature to step up and lead on things...they prefer to take a backseat and let others do the work. Things will take care of themselves magically, so to speak.
Mum is the other main caregiver for my cat. She handles 'potty detail' twice a day and washes the enclosed balcony where he sleeps at night. She works irregular hours, so if she's home during the day, she'll spend time with my cat.
I have been taking the bulk of the caregiving, since January, when my cat had a sudden illness. He's developed digestive issues, among other things, and has to eat at certain times, else he will shout until he's hoarse. Dry kibble will no longer suffice, and he needs food with moisture. I have woken up with a start on many occasions when he shouts, because it sounds like he's in trouble.
For the past few months, i've been waking up about 2 hours earlier than previously to accommodate cat duties, my physical therapy routine (which takes an hour), and getting ready for work. There's also a shared bathroom situation, which also adds to time taken. Cat duties include preparing breakfast, replacing water/dry kibble, clearing the mess from the previous night's dinner, coaxing him to eat enough (as he's become very thin), cleaning up after him, and just talking to and spending time with him. If he has soiled the floor or linen, extra time is spent on cleaning. If I wake up late in the morning (which happens often), I skip the therapy exercises, just do cat duty and get ready for work.
After work, I also have to be the first one back home to repeat the routine for his dinner.
Many times, I don't even change out of my work clothes before i start doing things. Some days, I prepare steamed fish for him, so extra time is spent on that. If I ever want to go out at night, I have to ensure my sis is available to take over dinner duty. Have missed events I wanted to attend - I automatically can't go, if she has plans or is working - whereas she is free to do whatever she wants.
I am also the one who washes his linen/bedding material, buys his food supply/litter/toys/other necessities, coordinates his vet visits/transport, and handles most of the cost. My sis grooms him a few times a week, and spends time with him after work.
I have tried to sleep earlier, but I really can't. i have my own chores to do as well, and also need time to unwind after work (which is a whole stressful thing unto itself). I tell myself to do the therapy exercises after work, but I'm often too busy/tired to do so. I only begun therapy late last year, just before my cat got sick. So all of a sudden, I am having to wake up much earlier than before to do both the exercises and cat duty.
What has exacerbated this burnout, is that we have been concurrently preparing for the relocation these past few months. So weekends were spent cleaning/clearing etc and making arrangements/buying necessities. I have not had a proper break or met any friends in 5 months. It is only now, that I'm starting to slow down over weekends and I have a lot more time to do my own stuff. But I still have to wake up at the same time everyday. Once I go through the whole breakfast routine, there's no point going back to bed. Unlike in previous years when I had a weekend dance class, there is nothing fun to look forward to. I miss dance, but I can't go because of my back injury.
What is difficult for me, besides the physical efforts, is being confined to a schedule and having to be there for someone else on an ongoing basis. I am quite free-spirited and I naturally rebel against structure. I need a lot of space and freedom..if only to daydream and contemplate. Right now, it's just not happening. Also, I've changed a lot over the years, and I identify less with self-sacrificing behavior. I walk away when people try to expect that of me. I do put myself first much more. But in this circumstance, I recognize the need. There is a distinct difference. I feel like there's a push and pull between what is needed, and the different sides of me. Also I feel very frustrated and powerless because ordinarily I don't depend on family for much, and I would handle everything if I could - but I recognize I cannot do this alone. Yet I know I will get nowhere with them on this.
Watergirl, I cannot leave. He is my only family. Probably a soul family connection. He's like my child, who is ill. He cannot help that this is happening to him. I'm just trying to provide what is needed - physically and emotionally.. If I leave, no one will take care of his needs properly. They will do the bare minimum. I have seen it happen before.
His health is not good, his limbs are weak, he's become fragile and also emotionally insecure. He dislikes being so dependent and yet he accepts that support. It's not easy for him. I see that he needs that level of care and reassurance, and that's why I am giving it.
Late last year, when I made the decision to start physical therapy, things started to shift and I felt blocks clearing and momentum to go forward. Even this thing with the house and renovation and us having to move out - this is all positive movement, even though it was incredibly stressful. I felt bolder and more optimistic than I've felt in so long. I even started to accept that I would have to move out earlier than my initial projected timeline. But in the midst of that, things changed with my cat and there's a block again. Not only that but the situation is putting me in a a very negative headspace which I'm angry about - because I had already spent years moving away from past trauma and had become a happier and more positive person. I feel as if my efforts are being compromised, and I don't understand why things are happening this way. It's as if 2 opposing actions happened.
If I'm being honest, the only thing I can do right now is to take good care of my cat, and myself. Everything else I want/need (job, new career path, finances, moving out) is icing on the cake. I will continue any small efforts, but I can't do much when my energy is split like this. I can't even contemplate a relationship anymore and part of me has already shut down about that. This is not the me I want to share with someone else. Depression can alter your personality, as it changes brain and body chemistry. Obviously, in terms of behavior, I'm just an angry mutant, my emotions are all over the place. Last night, I had what appears to be an anxiety attack (crying, chest pain, back pain, horrible fatalistic thoughts)when I went to bed. I am not thin, but I have lost weight. I do notice changes in the body (hair loss, skin issues, changes in period cycle and pattern, dizziness and balance issues, sugar cravings, food intolerance etc). And the back injury is a constant. I know the lack of sleep is responsible for a lot of this. And you're right (re: base chakra) - it feels as if I'm off-center.
I totally understand that I have to care for myself first, before I can be there for anyone else. I'm trying my best. I will listen to the medication video you shared - and try to get some quiet time every day as you suggested. I'm trying to get back to doing my exercises regularly.
Lately, I feel nervous to go for therapy - because I feel guilty that I'm not as consistent with the exercises. Also, there's something about physical touch that's so nurturing...it's the only time I feel cared for, and I'm scared that I'll start crying in the session I only have a therapist to ask about my well-being...and it's only because it's his job. So far I haven't said anything...I don't actually know if I should.
I am not in the best state of mind, but i will speak to my supervisor soon about working from home. Think she needs to know upfront - it will be better for me to get it out of the way as well.
Sorry this was long. Thank you Watergirl for listening, for replying, in spite of your own troubles. It means a lot. I hope you are ok.
Did you speak with your supervisor about working from home?
Have things settled down a bit at home or have you found a way to carve out the time (at least some) that you need for yourself?