Not Sure Where To Start In My Life
I have had a very rough few years but my spirtual awareness and growth has been immense. Something Im rather proud of especially becoming a mother! Im mostly at a crossroads in my personal life over finances and my relationship. I love with my boyfriend (DOB 2/6/88) and his parents who are very rude, nosey and meddle in our lives in a very destructive way. I have no privacy, everyone is constantly fighting, uses us and never seem to have my best interest at heart. My boyfriend and I had just gotten over homelessness before moving in and are very stressed out and just ready to get our lives on track. Unfortunately all of this combined has put us both in an emotional whirlwind. He has started becoming more emotiobally abusive and has gotten physical but believes its because of the stress. In my opinion, I dont think there is any excuse for his behavior and he needs consueling. I have always used the motto to treat others as you expect to be treated so lack of respect is an issue. Combined with the fact I feel I have nowhere to go. Most of my family is estranged, abusive or have very disturbing behaviors. My noyfriend doesnt try to control me but our tempers can get out of hand.
On top of all of this, Im in a tight financial bind as well. I have no job after looking hard for 8 months and never have any support to get one. I have tried government assistance and have called shelters (the good ones are full). Im just ridiculously sad but still continue to be optimistic about my life. I am open to any opportunities but not sure what I can do to make my life at is. My boyfriend feels he would be such a hot head if we had our on space. We hardly fought and fought respectfully before we moved here. He recently got two full time jobs that pay really well and is working on moving out. With everything going on, Im not sure what to do anymore. I dont feel endanger of my life but I hate walking on eggshells. Im tired of being stressed in all aspects of my life. I am holding on to hope but not sure what to do. My boyfriend wants to move once his first few checks come in. With my financial situation it sounds great but Im not sure if the relationship dynamics will be the same. I hate unhealthy relationship patterns and know I will be more peaceful on my own. I just not sure how to do it.
Can someone give me any insight to my situation? Will things change once I move? Or is there an opportunity to snag my independence? What exactly is happening in my life
My birthday is May 6th 1992 9:28pm in Dallas,TX just in case it helps.
Asia118X, Sorry to hear about what's happening. Will try and have a reading up for you this eve.
For now, your reading is addressing the current turmoil. Your marriage has had been moving and focusing on work--4 of wands in foundation. I feel that when you married the family might have thought this was a major transition meaning that you were on your own now. You all declared your love for one another and that would hold you thru the rough spots...You can't dance when you're tied and can't move. Avoidance on some level coming from the past position that I draw a lot when people are depending (maybe too much) from others (usually family--The hanged man.) Breaking away and declaring the truth is crowning the reading. You have many hopes and dreams regarding this marriage. A challenge is that the river or pond of desires that you dream about is turning into a barren dessert--the star in present position w/ 3 of wands in challenges. Sun is shining tho--don't lose faith. What is required from you is to climb your mountain. Turn dreams into action. Page of swords is crowning your reading. This represents you, as taking action or what needs to happen. Truth before "well-wishing." Queen of swords in future position is asking to rise above. As I look at these cards, I notice that the Page of Swords is on top of the hill--an indication to rise above. As I look at the Queen of Swords, I notice that by taking your own truth and applying it your words and plans have risen--the queen is even higher--she's pictured w/the sky or in the clouds. She points to the future. Asia, you need to find your own truth and speak it. A block is that you feel wrapped-up in negative words. You can't even see your lake of desires and wishes--8 of swords in blocks. A major change in environment and friends/assoc--death card. You need to embrace change as a good thing. As far as the marriage-- I don't like to diss marriages. The nine of cups appears in situation. When I draw this card, usually indicates a be careful what you wish for type scenario. If you look at the Page of Swords, I'm getting vultures behind you. As you "speak your peace" the vultures fade as the Queen of Swords shows in the future position. The queen of swords shows only one vulture in the background. You can reach your "higher" ground--7 of wands in advice. Career wise or path will be a struggle until you get into what's right. Sometimes we hold the key and don't realize it. counseling will help, with path because I feel both of you feels burdened by this. The outcome that you seek is will a revelation happen to pull you all thru--judgment in outcome. The advice is to get help with PATH because this is where you're most burdened. As a psychic, I feel like there is someone that's going to help thru a church. I strongly feel that that you need to talk w/a career counselor. As I mentioned before, you need to speak-up.
crowning--page of swords
present--star--no time like the present to turn dream into reality
foundation--4 of wands
situation--9 of cups
challenges--3 of wands
future--queen of swords
blocks--8 of swords
advice--7 of wands
Sorry I am responding so late but thank you so much for this reading! You have picked up on alot-I have went through so much on the past and alot of my boyfriends demons are a big issue. The company you keep can bring alot of misery. I feel as if I have ascended to a more positive path, I do need alot of help. Im open to any honestly, I believe my boyfriend is a great person but his negativity is frustrating and I feel I can control it by leaving. Im open to akl the possibilities but more concerned with my well being and my sons. My truth is I needed to be more concerned about myself in the past but now Im happy that Ive learned. Im going to look into help from churches, I recently obtained an amazing job but I had to put it on hold for a babysitter church but that hasnt stopped me. Im as optimistic as I ever was! Thank you Daliolite? But since Im living here for the time being, Im a little embarrassed to ask this question-what is my boyfriends issue? And how is my son feeling about me and his father?
I think the main issue is you all haven't really sat down and talked about everything (openly.)--Page of swords crowning and queen of swords future. Queen of swords is always calling you to look to the future and take action. I often draw the judgment card when the person really needs a resolution to their situation (usually family.) What you want to know is will everything work-out. A lot is going to have to happen for that to take place. You don't want the final trumpet to call you out. I believe, in this scenario, the trumpet is symbolism for the final call or final words. What did you do or fail to do--final judgment. This is true for your husband and everyone. Who are we accountable to. Swords are symbols for words, action and ideas. Wands, for me, are the next step in path (life path.) Cups symbolize emotions. There is a lot of inactivity and seems everything is one way. This is escalated by the blocks position. Almost seems like two separate islands. I really feel like you're being called-out. So, your question is your answer--judgment in outcome position. This will be hard as there is not a lot of planning, at present. You need help in sorting-out and planning. You be a good mom, etc., your son will love you.
Thank you Daliolite! Ive gone through so much spirtitual growth and as I tapped into my awareness, I definitely understood your reading. Ive learn to love myself more than others. I have came a painful background and realize how it has affected my view on things but Im thankful for every experience Ive had because it has allowed me to grow. Im trying to focus on what feeds my soul and makes me haply here on Earth. And in all honesty, my truth I dont need to be in a relationship that doesnt suit me. My boyfriend as much love as I have for him is an abusive control freak who needs to find his own path to righteousness. I respect him as I do most in the Universe but I love myself too much to lie any longer ( a big step for me). Enough is enough it hurts because Ive had so many dreams for it to work but my trust and faith in him has been broken. I dont feel Im being treated equally or fairly. My soul hasnt felt right being in my situation because I KNOW I deserve better. I have alot of planning to do but I know Im ready to start living my life now with my beautiful son.
It has been hard with my financial situation but I have faith. I am going to start seeing what I can do about living spaces. I honestly want my own space in whatever form that comes in with a supportive group. Right now, my family is in too much turmoil and the financial situation with them isnt too promising. But I am sure the Universe would lead me in direction. Im practicing humility and patience because I know karma will be good to me but Im so anxious for opportunities to get myself out of this sticky financial situation. I live with him, dont have a plan at the moment-but Im not happy and cant see us being a couple any longer especially if he is the way he is.
Is this my truth Daliolite (I feel it is)? I feel like this relationship has provided me with so spiritual growth and I am thankful for the experience but Im outgrowing this relationship. This is tough but an inevitable withdrawl makes me sad. Is my boyfriend toxic? Or is life taking us both down?
Asia118, You don't necessarily need to know the meanings or interpretations of the cards. You can look up the pictures and kinda visualize the meanings. Keep in mind the positions that they're in that I wrote above. What you're going thru is hard. Stay mobile and don't stagnate. Talk to people that can help you. Visualize a life helping your son/w your son.
Hey Daliolite I just wanted to thank you for all the advice and guidance you gave me you are rather amazing. I am picking myself up as I speak and as I go through my trials and tribulations I lean towards the positive side and don't lose faith. Its all I have along with determination. I will be vixtorious in this game of life and ready to accept all that I deserve and strive for! Thanks for everything btw sorry about the late response