The Captain - your insight please

  • Hello, thanks for reading.

    I think my boyfriend of the last three years has been cheating on me. He denies this, but i don't believe him. What do you get on this please?

    My DOB 4 May 1962

    His DOB 10 Aug 1962

    Thanks in advance

  • I feel that what makes you suspicious about your boyfriend is the fact that he often wears a mask of happiness to hide his true inner (hurt) feelings. Although he is popular and attractive to others and has no problems attracting admirers, he can still have problems opening up emotionally to other people.To appear strong, he will often try to hide his struggles. The less willing he is to share his problems, however, the more these problems are likely to overwhelm him, with a negative impact on his life and health. It is therefore important for him to cope with stress by talking more about his problems and frustrations. He needs a lot of understanding, attention, admiration and appreciation or else he feels rejected and unloved. He needs to know that you will still care about him even when he is feeling low, that he can share how he is really feeling with you without fear of you dumping him or laughing at him. His willingness to please can make him lose touch with who he is, so he must learn to strike a healthy balance between giving and taking. I feel he is only hiding his vulnerable, sensitive side from you. You can be a bit tough and impatient with emotions yourself - make sure you don't brush aside his more sensitive, easily bruised, and tender feelings or hurt him accidentally. You can be very giving, supportive and warm so be gentle with him. However, you need to be careful not to analyze a relationship too much as it can make others feel uncomfortable. Encourage your BF to share more. Try to feel your way through and listen to your intuition, not your fears, more. If you don't, I feel he really will look for someone who can appreciate him more.

    Because the two of you are very different personalities, there will undoubtedly be problems and conflict in your relationship. You can both be opinionated and stubborn. Yet you are both no-nonsense types who can blend well together, with a heartfelt empathy for all less fortunate than you. The relationship emphasizes devotion and dedication and allows the two of you to be more inspirational and romantic than you usually are with other people. Make sure the romance and spark hasn't left the relationship by doing sweet loving things for your partner. The relationship has a gentle sensuous quality with a strong loving overlay. Your partner will live up to his end of the deal - as long as you do. He is trustworthy and reliable. The main trouble here is that, after three years, you may have settled into the sometimes humdrum continuity of everyday life. The attempt at solidity and structure can disrupt the relationship's natural and unassuming quality. Marriage would certainly bring this sort of romance-shattering effect to the relationship. If you want it to endure, it must be kept spontaneous, easy and free. Your suspicions and mistrust will only help to kill it.

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