Compatibility comparisons

  • LeoScorpion,

    What kind of relationship is there between my fiance and a woman who 'friended' him only 4 weeks after he proposed to me? It seems unusually intense; he claims to want a 'really, really close' relationship with her and she seems very defensive about her relationship with him. The chart for their relationship is: Sun in the First House, Sun Conjunct Mercury, Sun Conjunct Uranus, Sun Conjunct Ascendant, Moon in the Fifth House, Venus in the Second House. He was born 11/4/1954 at 2 a.m. in Frankfurt (Hessen), Germany. She was born 5/23/1967 at 9 a.m. in Granada Hills, CA.

    I was born 1/30/1961 at 8:53 a.m. in S.F, CA.

    The chart for my relationship with my fiance is: Sun in the Seventh House, Sun Conjunct Mercury, Moon in the Eleventh House, Moon Opposition Neptune, Venus in the Eighth House, Saturn Opposition Ascendant. Thank you for your help!!

  • There seems to be a close and empathic bond between them which is mainly based on friendship but with a high degree of passion too. However your fiance will grow depressed in direct proportion to the sexual intensity here. He knows he shouldn't be feeling this attraction while engaged to you. But he can't resist the pull of such a close tie with this woman because he is not feeling such an emotional bond with you. The woman is probably taking the lead in this relationship. She expects to receive joy and satisfaction out of their lovemaking but she will be sadly disappointed as the sexual act will spell the end of the relationship because your fiance will be unable to handle how bad it makes him feel. This could never be a long term relationship.

    You need to deepen your emotional bond and friendship with your fiance. He is always a little suspicious of how fast you do things - in half the time it would take him and he suspects you must cut corners or not go very deep emotionally. Honestly he finds you a bit flighty so the more serious you can behave with him, the closer he will draw to you. You need to have some deep emotional discussions with him where you open your heart to him. Otherwise your marriage will be short-lived. But also your fiance needs to learn to lighten up and have some fun sometimes. Compromise is the answer here.

  • cuspglyph

    I saw your post but didn't know you were asking me at first

    you have got your reading from Captain

    if you need more keep bumping this thread I will find it

  • Thank you, Captain! This has been a confusing situation for me, given that he seems to want two things at the same time...but somehow can't admit to the influence she's had in his relationship with me. That's where things become a real problem. The last time I checked my e-mail about work (he encourages me to use his computer for that when I visit him and stay overnight), I accidentally saw an e-mail exchange between the two of them where she was calling me a name, and he was at least trying to defend me. Up until that point, I had understood there was a mutual agreement to correspond with each other openly to avoid any confusion; the last time I chatted with this woman she was enthusiastic and supportive towards me. While he e-mailed back, he was gobbling chocolates nervously, as if in submission to her ranting about me. After that, he suddenly adopted her namecalling towards me. I let him know of my exposure to the e-mail exchange and her namecalling; he was open to me discovering that but denied what she had said on the screen. This has been a very painful aftermath; I've tried to work with him as far as what we can both agree on in our relationship.

  • Hi LeoScorpion!

    At this point, my main concern is whether we have the foundation for a relationship based on accountability and integrity. We had agreed to keep things open and aboveboard among all three of us, and the last time I chatted with this woman, she was enthusiastic and supportive of me. The last time I checked my e-mail about work (my fiance encourages me to use his computer when I visit and stay over there), I accidentally saw an e-mail exchange between the two of them where she called me a name, and he was trying to defend me. While continuing to e-mail her, he was gobbling chocolates nervously and bowing his head, as if in submission to her ranting about me. After that, he adopted the same namecalling. I let him know I'd seen the e-mail exchange; he was open to me seeing that but denied she had called me the name I had seen on the screen.

    Naturally, I was concerned about the influence this woman has on his relationship with me.

  • Deep down I feel your fiance wants all this to produce more emotion in you - he wants to see your feelings erupt over this as he sometimes feels you act too calmly or objectively for his liking. He wants to see evidence of your passion in order to make him feel you really do love him. If you don't feel you can do this, then you should rethink your relationship and impending marriage as things won't automatically come right just because you are wedded to each other. Your partner needs passion and emotion - if he doesn't get it from you, then he will seek it elsewhere.

  • And my apologies to LeoScorpion, I didn't even see your name on this until now.

  • Hi Captain!

    Thanks for your reply! Yikes.. I'm afraid that showing my emotions this way is why we'd have a problem in the first place; I was sure to tell him I needed clarification on what this need for a 'really, really close' relationship was when it started, and it took him the longest time to let me know he'd had a romantic interested in her 15 years ago. I did try to be matter-of-fact about it (I'm an Aquarius and also have my Mercury in Aquarius) at the time, but an emotional reaction seriously freaks him out (he's got his moon in Aquarius, so that's understandable; that's also a placement that reflects probs with his mom--and he has had problems with his mother being distant and expecting him to fill his needs that's led him to be emotionally self-protective...I take care to respect that, and have responded to his desire to not try to 'fill his needs' without being asked first. ) That sort of puts me in a "no mans land" as far as how his needs are being met with this woman.

  • p.s. One of the reasons we connected in the first place was our mutual desire for physical contact, and our frustration with people who don't like being tactile; we've shared the same sexual fantasies and personal interests on a regular basis, including a lot of intellectual stimulation. One of the first things I noticed about this woman when chatting with her (and her with him) was interest in intellectual topics; no problem with that. It's the "passionate" area that puzzles me.

  • cuspglyph

    I replied on your other thread Scorpio man and friends

    I didn't even see the post you made for me in May /sigh

    well hope it helps

  • This post is deleted!

  • Cuspglyph, an 'emotional reaction' doesn't have to be a negative one. You can be emotionally loving and kind - you don't have to freak your partner out with anger or accusation. But he does need to see more from you than self-control and objectivity.

  • Captain,

    That is so true...thanks for the insight!

Log in to reply