Never got to see your face... but forever, my heart you will embrace
I was given a gift only for it to be stripped away... there was life growing inside of me but doesn't reside there any longer... And there are no words to express the pain that I feel in my heart and the loss that I feel in my soul... I am angry at God and I am angry at the universe... I prayed with everything I had in me... and friends and family stood in prayer with me... how can it be? so unfair!!! How can I go on living with this anger in my heart and soul... How can I go on living without blaming God for this loss... and feeling ignored and abandoned by him... there are so many children born to parents who don't want them or parents who don't take care of them... How can someone who wants a child so bad be denied this opportunity?... I feel so broken... My heart aches... And my mind races... And I just don't know how to go on...
ramonita last edited by
my heart goes out to you, i have seen many go through this experience, it is heartbreaking, we all have been in this planet before, before we come down to earth again, we choose all the details about our lives,, experience we want to go through, we even choose our parents,,, you blame god, god is not to blame, he is a god of free will, our choices are ours,, made before coming down to earth again or while here are on earth,,, ask your self, how many times you have heard the words u can change your destiny,, the spirit of your unborn child is close to u, even if u cant see it , open ur heart, to having another child, talk to god, miracles will happen in your life,,, god bless u,,,
Was not the right time or something was wrong with buby. Take some time to grieve and then heal and try again. The soul always choses his parents so this little one will come back to you again if he so chooses.
Thank you both for your encouragement. I am working through the grieving process over the loss of my unborn child... and the sadness I've had in my heart has been unbearable... My faith has been challenged... and I was ready to give up... I wanted to share the testimony about healing and saving a child from miscarriage... But that wasn't God's plan for my life. As I sit here now and think about it... I have relied heavily on the prayers of friends and family to strengthen me and help me through this... and it is through this beautiful outpouring of love and support that I received, that I have been able to find acceptance and peace for my soul. I have found a place in my heart for this sorrow and it will forever be a part of me... but through the grace of God I have found strength to go on... I don't know what my future holds but I believe God knows the desire in my heart to be a mother again... and somehow, through him, it will happen. And that will be my testimony.
It has been 2 months today... I would have been 15 weeks by now. When I think about it, I still cry... I can feel the energy of the child's soul around me when I cry, and that is comforting. I always ask for him to come back to me. I do want to try again, but I am not so sure the father wants it... he said he never wants to see me hurt like that again...so things are very uncertain right now. He has alot going on in his life right now, and the timing of the pregnancy was not good for him. Sometimes I feel angry at him for not wanting it as much as did.,, So... I may have to make a choice at some point... if I want the relationship or a child. It's all so confusing...
Thank you for your love and encouragement. I only ask that loving thoughts and positive energy be sent my way. Blessings to all.
It is written that noting or no one comes into our lives before their time. You have learned a lot through this miscarriage. You now know deep sorrow and sadness, you know that you have strength to go on no matter what and heal. You I believe have learned what a solid relationship means to beginning a family life and that men have a hard time dealing with emotions that are deep. I'm sure you will be a Mother in your life, and that everything will blend and mold the time for that to be, as you will certainly have the intuition to know when to begin again.
Thank you so much Mistofmerald, for you comments. I know you are right. I can say that I have been blessed with one child who is now 22. She was always the light of my world, yet I have always thought I was supposed to have a son. There is just too much mother left in me, not to. I am quickly approaching 45, and my child bearing years are limited... I know that in some way or another, I will use this mothering energy that I carry within me, whether I have my own child, fodter parent, or even adopt. You are so right saying that I have learned much and have a deep understanding of family. Blessings to you!