Some insights greatly appreciated :)



  • I was wondering if someone could give me some insights into the following situation.. I have been in contact with this guy for some weeks now but I do not really know if he has any feelings for me.. He seems interested I believe.. but then on the other hand very detached and cold sometimes.. and it is very hard for me to understand from where this is coming or if I should keep on "investing" in this relationship.. I somehow have a crush on him and he is really like my ideal man (looks, interest..) so maybe someone could help me with some insights?

    My details: Anne (April 12, 1991), his details: Atte (October 10, 1989)

    Thank you all so much!!!



  • When you say "in contact" what do you mean? Have you met in person? If you have not met in person yet watch out for your feelings. You may think you know him but you really don't. Stay open to it, but there is no need to rush things. If a couple of months go by and you haven't met in person yet or there is no interest to have a real date, then... I do not know, I wouldn't go for it if I were you...



  • Yes, we already have met in person (and had one 'real' date) and see each other once every week due to work related stuff, where we usually talk..



  • If he wish to saw you always,then definitely he has something to you.

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  • Then Kukka123 it sounds like everything is going great. Get to know the guy...You do not know him yet. You may discover in a few months or weeks that he wasn't the right guy for you. Get to know him as a person, there is no rush...does he flirt with you? Do you see signs that he is interested? There are many reasons why a guy might not be consistent in the beginning. On the other hand if you are not "feeling it" do not make excuses for him or the situation. Either get to know him as a friend and see where it goes or don't do it at all. I am not sure that helped...



  • Anne, this relationship tends to be much easier and effective as a working relationship than a love affair. There is much ambition around it. Unreality however is a big problem within the relationship. The two of you are exact opposites so while initially opposites attract, there needs to be more common bonds here to hold the relationship together. Both of you are prone to problematic love affairs, since you both tend to lack a clear idea of either yourselves or your partners; in your relationship with each other, this trait is magnified. Although unstable and rocky, your romantic affair can carry on in a jerky fashion because you will both meanwhile focus on your worldly goals and ambitions. Unfortunately this can swallow up your individuality as people, making separation and breakup extremely difficult and painful. On the plus side, however, Atte is a fun person to be with and can help you take your mind off more serious matters, while you can provide him with the security and confidence that he wants. Better then to leave off with the romantic ambitions and just keep this as a light but useful friendship. It's not love, just a temporary attraction that will not survive any real test of its strength. And the friendship only lasts as long as it is work-based.



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